Saturday, September 29, 2007

"Will you sign my year book?"


Here's one thing we can definitely say about this season: it's almost over.

Still, we're feeling like we do every year at this time: like its that last week of high school. We should be glad that it's over, but we're getting all sentimental, running around to sign one another's yearbook.

So, join us as we make the rounds, and share the love around the Jays' Blogosphere Cafeteria.

Hey
Drunk Jays Fans: Can you believe it's really over? The year is so over! Remember back when you found that picture of Richard Griffin drunk on a park bench? That was awesome! You guys are real characters. Don't ever change. See you around sometime, maybe. Cheers (to lots of beers!), The Tao. P.S. "Keep on rockin' in the free world!"

Hey Neate from
Out of Left Field: It was great getting to know you this year, and it was no problem for me to do your homework for you for a few weeks while you were away. Hope there's no hard feelings about you having to do summer school. Anyways, this year was really a trip, and we'll see you around sometime, maybe. Peace, the Tao. P.S. "Rock and roll will never die!"

Dear Joanna from
Hum and Chuck: We are so outta here! You're the most awesome chick that we met here this year, and we're not just sayin' that. Those guys from Drunk Jays Fans are hitting on you for a reason! We're sorry that we kinda picked on your friend A.J. this year. No hard feelings?! Hope not, 'cause u r wicked cool and we're glad we got to know you. Anyways, we'll see you around sometime, maybe. (We should really try to go to the beach sometime!) Cheers Big Ears! Love, The Tao XO. P.S. "You are like a hurricane, there's a calm in your eye."

Yo! Richie Rich from
Home Run Derby! Hey man! This year is so over! We didn't really get to know you much, but you always seemed like a righteous dude, and it was really cool working with you on that B.J. Birdy thing. Anyways, man, we hope you have an awesome time this off-season, and call us if you ever want to party! Rock on! The Tao. P.S., "It's better to burn out, 'cause rust never sleeps!"

Hey
Jays Nest! It was great getting to know all of you guys (Dave, David, Jonathan, and that exchange student from New York). We used to think you guys were nerds, but now that we get to know you, we REALLY think you are BIG NERDS! (Just kidding! You're awesome!) Anyways, we had fun with those round tables. We know that we didn't really do our share of the work, but we got through it thanks to you! Anyways, have fun, and we'll see you around sometime, maybe. Cheers, The Tao. P.S. "Catch the mist, catch the myth. Catch the mystery, catch the drift."...Rush rules!

Yo Maldonado Over Everything! Remember when you gave that nerd John Brattain an atomic wedgie? That was awesome! You're really cool, even if we didn't really get to know you that well. Anyways, maybe we'll get the chance to hang out this off-season? Keep in touch, and maybe we can party some time. Cheers, The Tao. P.S. "Long may you run."

Hey Todd at the 500 Level: Hey man...where did you go this year? You're pretty cool. You know a lot about history...can we have your notes? (Just kidding!) Anyways, maybe we'll see each other around soon. Good luck, The Tao.

Hey Fire Gibbons: What'sup?! We used to hang out so much...It's too bad we don't see each other that much anymore. Anyways, you're still awesome, and a real cool guy. I guess we never really got Old Man Gibbons fired, but we tried! Don't let "The Man" change you: You're a rebel! Anyways, maybe we'll see each other around, and we can party when Gibbons finally gets the boot. Cheers, man. The Tao. P.S. "It's better to burn out than to fade to black."

Hey the Ballclub: So sorry to hear about your year. We really hope things work out for you. Be strong. Peace, and God Bless You. The Tao.

Hey Deadspin: You're the coolest guy in the school. We can't believe we're signing your yearbook! (Actually, you left it in the cafeteria, but we're signing it before we bring it back you. Hope you don't mind.) Anyways, it was really cool when you showed everyone that video that we found of the drunken Red Sox fans. We don't know if anyone at this school knew who we were before then! Thanks! Anyways, you're really awesome...we hear you have a book coming out, and we're totally gonna buy it. Call us anytime if you want to party! Keep on rockin'! The ToS. P.S. "Everybody seems to wonder, What it's like down here. I gotta get away from this day-to-day running around, Everybody knows this is nowhere."

Feel free to sign our yearbook in the comments!

7 comments:

John Brattain said...

Word to the wise: wedgies in boxer shorts are more painful than a wedgie while wearing briefs.

That’s waaaay cooler advice than Jimmy Dugan’s “avoid the clap.”

It was really rude of you to take the talcum powder out of my locker. That just made the pain worse. I had to spend three hours with the guidance counsellor y'know. I hope you’re satisfied.

Now if you'll excuse me, the chess club is having a roundtable discussion about our pet goldfish.

Oh yeah, Ethel turned me down for the prom again (I even told her that her front teeth made her look like that lady bunny in "Space Jam" while wearing my most neato polka dot bow tie). I don't get it, why does every girl I ask on a date turn out to be a lesbian? Honestly, what are the odds? I'm going to ask the captain of the math club about that. We're best buds. I bought him a whole case of Brylcream to congratulate him on his graduating with honours from his "12-Steps To Overcomes Bed Wetting" course.

Admitting you have a problem is the first step to overcoming it as my mom always said.

Anyhoo have a way coolio summer dude. Toodles!

Best Regards

John

The Mockingbird said...

I know you don't know me or ever look back over your shoulder while I stare at the back of your head in science class or all the other classes I arranged to take with you this year but I followed you around all year and wrote down everything you said and rescued everything you threw in the trash and even snuck into the gym changeroom while you were in the shower and wrung out the sweat from your socks etc. into this jar and I have your picture in my room and I kiss it softly every night before bed and I hope you don't think I'm strange because I just hope we can just be good friends and maybe get married some day.

Tao of Stieb said...

Wow...that's just creepy.

sager said...

I signed it too, huh-huh.

See you in the car!

Milhouse.

John Brattain said...

I know you don't know me or ever look back over your shoulder while I stare at the back of your head in science class or all the other classes I arranged to take with you this year but I followed you around all year and wrote down everything you said and rescued everything you threw in the trash and even snuck into the gym changeroom while you were in the shower and wrung out the sweat from your socks etc. into this jar and I have your picture in my room and I kiss it softly every night before bed and I hope you don't think I'm strange because I just hope we can just be good friends and maybe get married some day.

Here I thought he got that manly right forearm from playing on the tennis team.

So, that metallic knocking sound we kept hearing in health class wasn't the boiler heating up after all. I never thought it sounded like it was coming from right below us.

By the way, how much detention did you get from Miss Getunlayde for bringing the coat hanger for your oral presentation on contraception anyway?

Best Regards

John

Drew said...

Congrats on a good year fellas.

"Have a summer"

THE GREAT LAKES KNUCKLEBALLER said...

Tao, you mean so much to us. We know we haven't been around much, but let's stay friends.

Next year is going to be the best one yet. We've got a feeling. It all starts with sugar in Gibbons' gas tank, a lot of weed, some Zeppelin, and a trade for Chone Figgins.

See ya,
FG 4-eva.