Sunday, August 24, 2008

All right, new policy

From now on, I'm not saying nothin' about nobody.

OK, so I'm not really going to follow that, otherwise - what the hell am I doing here? But it made me feel better to say it, so piss off!

A few hours after I posted that I didn't think Marcum looked right, the Jays optioned him to AAA Syracuse. Let me repeat that, but in a more complicated manner this time - the guy now relied on as the Toronto Blue Jays #3 starter was demoted to the International League. In favor of John Parrish. Who was recently bumped for Scott Richmond. Who has since been demoted himself. Can somebody please explain just what in the fuck? Please?

I mean, I said so myself - since coming off the DL, he hasn't looked like "vintage" Shaun Marcum....but a demotion? Really? So, here's the frightening thing: it's not a health issue, but a mechanics issue - per JP (I know, I know)....which would be good news actually, if it were true. But word comes from Wilner that maybe it's an attitude thing? What? Our guy Marcum? Shaunie Marcum?

See, I hate reading shit like that. Instead of believing that Marcum is strutting around the clubhouse bragging about his change-up, I'm going to tell myself it's more a matter of being hardheaded and not taking instruction from resident pitching guru Brad Arnsberg. I can't live in a world where Shaun Marcum is a prick.

Vernon Wells is a man among boys, and Jesse's got his groove back
Vern was raking (4 for 5, 2 HR, 3 RBI) and putting on a clinic in the outfield today (2 webgems). So shut the fuck up about his contract already.

New #3 starter Jesse Litsch (um, wow) continued to show that maybe management knows how to handle young pitchers (making the first segment of this post entirely irrelevant, of course) by tossing 6 shutout innings against the Sox. If you're keeping track (and I am), that makes 13 scoreless innings of work since his recall.

Brett Cecil called, and he wants the keys to the Ricky Romero train
Brett Cecil's line Saturday night for the 'Cuse:

7 IP, Zero hits, Zero runs, 2 BB, 5 K

You read that correctly - I even spelled it out for you. Limited to a pitch count (90), Cecil no-hit Buffalo for 7 innings. Boners, my friends. Boners.

More fun with the Sons of Sam Horn
I had something ready to roll here for you, but Joanna pretty much nailed it already. Let me give you my favorite comment from this fantastic Sox forum, just for fun:

I hope Vernon Wells gets shot in the face. I don't care.

Now THAT is entertaining.


eyebleaf said...

"I can't live in a world where Shaun Marcum is a prick."

i don't want to live in that world either, bro.

but, really, parrish over marcum? parrish? john fucking parrish? really? fuck. we need to go to 3 man rotation of doc, AJ and (this is fucked) litsch.

and a line like that from Cecil causes me to salivate.

"I hope Vernon Wells gets shot in the face. I don't care."

only a masshole could say something like that...only a masshole...

Anonymous said...


No way I'm going to stop bitching about that contract

Anonymous said...

Didn't Wilner hint that it was an attitude problem in the other direction? i.e. that he didn't have enough confidence?

Tim said...

Hey good write up especially the information about Cecil. Gosh I like good young pitching prospects :D

I recently aggregated all the Blue Jays News Stories into one page (including your blog)

I was wondering if you can give me feedback/comments and if you can list this page on your blue jays banter on the right nav.


Anonymous said...

Re: Wells....That's right, I'm sure the point of a $100M contract is to only play great often enough to show he's actually capable of it...not to do it consistently,

The Ack said...

re: Wells.....yeah but fuck....what are you going to do about the contract now? Organize some pro-Tibet/anti-Vernon Wells contract on the steps of the RogDome? Just be happy he's playing well is all I'm saying. Or carry on bitching about his deal, I guess. Whatever makes you happy.

re: Marcum's attitude....nah...Wilner indicated he was getting a little too big for his britches. Wilner must have been kicking it old-old-old-school with that terminology.

re: Massholes....I mean, to be fair, I wouldn't mind seeing a collision between Youkilis' chin and Pedroia's mouth - it would be total fucking armageddon - but yeah, wishing for a grisly fatality is a bit much.

Torgen said...

Let's-get-a-clubhouse-monkey Marcum? Gambling with the GM's adolescent son Marcum? He might have an attitude problem?

eyebleaf said...

hey vernon haters: another two-run shot, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Anonymous said...

can't this guy hit a 3 run hr ?

The Ack said...

I just hope Ellsbury has time between innings to fix his makeup.

@ torgen - well, sure, but there's a difference between being a goof and being an asshole, no?

fantasybaseballmacbookpro said...

As long as Marcum smartens up and comes back next year healthy, strong, and willing to pitch I'm happy.

Fantasy Baseball

The Ack said...


we needed that one....

bs said...

if nothing else, they're exciting. i'm feeling pretty optimistic for next year, as long as Marcum/McGowan are all right

bs said...

oh, and Jesse Barfield is hilarious

The Ack said...

(from Saturday)

"Maybe a braid got in his eye!....Maybe a bead hit 'em in the eye!"

also, anyone else notice Rance's drawl gets way more pronounced when he's jivin' with Jesse? I can hardly understand him when he gets riled up and tells stories about what Lloyd Moseby once said on a cold day in September back in old Tiger Stadium (for example).

Anonymous said...

Marcum is gone? This makes no freaking sense. Who cares if he has an attitude? Can he pitch? Thta's all that counts. Does JP wanna throw the divison to the Sox is that it? I'm the type of american that never believed in conspiracies until now. Like it's been said, Parrish for Marcum? This is unreal........

MK Piatkowski said...

Rance is actually bearable with Jesse. I love how Rance will do his usual "in this situation" and Jesse will disagree. And Rance can't do anything because who wouldn't take batting advice from Barfield over him.

Also love how they get into the ol' time reminiscing. It's actually entertaining, unlike Rance's usual shtick. Ack, I noticed the extended drawl too.

bs said...

the drawl is without a doubt the funniest thing ever. ok, maybe not ever, but its entertaining