Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Blue Jays teach school kids the meaning of "misery"

Also: "disappointment", "ineptitude" and "impotence". (Stash that last one away for a couple of decades kiddies.)

B.J. Ryan continued to hand out free trips to first base like he was Jonathan Carroll from iTravel2000.com (Call 1-866-WOW-DEAL! And get away for less!), walking Ichiro (oops) and Miguel Frickin' Cairo (double oops) in the ninth. And while it sounded as though he was being squeezed, maybe the Beej should have put on his big boy pants and stopped nibbling around the corners, looking for calls.

(Yeah, you read that right. We're down on the Beej now. Dude needs to stop arguing with umpires and start getting outs. And soon.)

Of course, all of that ninth inning drama could have been avoided if the Jays had only picked up a run in the sixth when (stop us if you've heard this one before) they left runners on the corners with one out.

One good thing about today's game: Jamie Campbell wasn't broadcasting it, so he didn't get to go apeshit crazy on the air when the Mariners went ahead in the ninth. (Although he probably did so at home in stately Ginger Manor, with all of his Richie Zisk cards displayed in front of him.)

Ladies and Gentlemen - Your 2008 Toronto Blue Jays: Crushing your spirit, shredding the crushed remains, then lighting the whole shredded heap into blazing inferno. Rinse. Repeat.

5 comments:

eyebleaf said...

i am in serious need of an adult beverage.

un-fucking-believable.

B said...

"Rinse. Repeat" ... ???

I appreciate the sentiment but there's no rinsing around that will get the shit-like taste out of my mouth.

Anonymous said...

If there's a silver lining to this Mariners debacle, it's the last few entertaining postings. Tao is back!

the ack said...

at this point, I'd have probably been entertained by our guy Jamie Campbell hysterically screaming "AND THE SEEEEE-ATTLE MARINERS TAKE THE LEAD!!!!!"

Andrew said...

"stately Ginger Manor"

Gold, Jerry! Gold!

Go Jays!