Wednesday, June 18, 2008


The Jays ain't got no alibi. That was ugly. Ugly ugly ugly.

There's nothing quite so demoralizing as seeing Craig Counsell (Craig Counsell!!!) hit a home run. Or seeing perpetual washout and strikeout master Russ Branyan knock one into orbit. Or to watch Ryan Braun knock the Jays pitchers around the park like they are tossing BP. (And speaking of BP...doesn't it look like the Jays could use a little extra, what with their measly four singles?)

Or seeing Benny the Bernie Brewer repeatedly slide down his slide into...wait, what happened to the beer he used to slide into? Not family-friendly enough? The team does recognize the fact that they are called "the Brewers", right?

We're doing our best to look on the bright side, and to not become another of the nattering nabobs of negativity burying this team. But after another washout like last night, we're wondering if this team is ever going to get it going.


Navin Vaswani (@eyebleaf) said...

Benny used to slide into beer? Damn, I want his job.

Last night was brutal. I checked out after 4 home runs, and watched the Celtics from that point on. And then we gave up another one. Five home runs in one game...imagine the freedom.

I'm hurting today, man. We're fast approaching July, with no end in sight to this offensive "slump."

I'm scared. Hold me.

Anonymous said...

Bernie Brewer, not Benny. The old beer mug now resides at the Lakefront Brewery in Milwaukee.

The Ack said...

pretty sure my neighbours heard me scream "CRAIG COUNSELL?!?!?.......CRAIG FUCKING COUNSELL?!?!?!?!" last night.

And, would a goddamn knockdown pitch hurt every once in a while? Russ Branyan was diving into pitches like Rios on a groupie last night. Not saying to put one between the eyes, but give them something to think about at least.

Unknown said...

It's pretty bleak... the irony is that Branyan (a DH if ever there was one) who is perpetually on the scrapheap and available to one and all, is raking for this team since coming up on May 25 (8 HR in 56 AB, admittedly small sample size). Yet JP cannot come up with anything better than Mench/Wilkerson/Stewart for DH/LF? Please.

Tao of Stieb said...

To be fair, if you had put those four players' names in front of us, and asked us to put them in the order that we would want them, we would have said: Stewart, Wilkerson, Branyan, Mench.

Yeah, sure, we got to see Branyan launch one last night, but we haven't had to endure the endless striking out.

He's like the discount version of Adam Dunn.

Unknown said...

I think you are right, although I might change the order a bit and flip W and Branyan... I guess my point was more that there are always some of these Cust/Branyan three-true-outcomes dudes floating around and this would be a good season to scoop one up - adjust on the fly. I think we could handle a few K's in this high-OBP, powerless lineup.

Anonymous said...

Did Jamie Campbell just blow his load when Vernon Wells grounded into a double play to end tonight's game? THE BALL GAME IS OVER!!!
What the fuck?

Navin Vaswani (@eyebleaf) said...

fuck jamie campbell.