Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Note to self: Don't get ahead of yourself

So there we were, yesterday, piecing together our argument about how Brett Cecil is the new ace of the staff, and how we should all bow to his thunderously thrillingly massive thighs and the way that they propel him in a consistent manner towards the plate as he attacks hitters with an impressively diverse arsenal of pitches, speeds, and locations. What a dreamboat.

Really, the whole piece was working its way towards being one of our better posts in recent memory, certain to generate comments (comment whore!) and controversy (Team RickRo was going to be incensed.) We'll probably even come back to it, and tart it all up and include FIP and xFIP comparisons and all that jazz.

But next time, we'll probably wait until a night when someone other than RickRo, Cecil or Marcum toe the rubber. Because it makes us feel like we're wasting our time when we make the case for our guy, only to see him get rocked that night in his start.

We probably don't believe in jinxes, but we're pretty sure that we toyed with the baseball gods when we went on a campaign of unparalleled gushing over him on the night of his start. Sorry about that.

Now, we presume that we have to make an offering to those same baseball gods, so this afternoon, we'll be torching our Donruss Roy Halladay card from 2003 (Cy Young year!) with the T-Bird logo (Power of the T-Bird!). We hope this sacrifice pleases them.

The Sad Ballad of Dusty Lambchops
It's another sad story told in minor chords for Dustin McGowan, who had yet another setback in his recovery from labrum surgery. We probably haven't even considered him as part of the club's future for some time now, but we still feel bad for a kid who seemed to be on his way towards the top of the Jays' rotation.

We'd love to see those sideburns on the mound in game action once again, but McGowan's story reminds us that an upward trajectory isn't guaranteed for any young or emerging prospect, and that the vagaries of time and the wear and tear caused by the unnatural and violent action to which pitchers subject their extremities can derail the most promising careers.


sarah said...

Lighting Roy Halladay on fire is never the answer, Tao!

Team RickRo.

Anonymous said...


Darren Priest said...

Yeah, that is sad about McGowan. Between that news and MopUpDuty's story about guys who throw 90 MPH+ in the IBL, I've seen some stark reminders of just how insanely difficult it is to make it to "the Show." You look at a marginal guy like DeWayne Wise and imagine how godlike he must have seemed in high school. It boggles the mind.

Speaking of Halladay, say you knew a Jays fan who was feeling a bit of schadenfreude at the idea the Phillies might not make the playoffs, would that make that fan an asshole? This hypothetical fan, I mean.

Anonymous said...

GET WELL SOON, Dusty Lambchops!

Peter DeMarco said...

Damaso Garcia says lighting things on fire is never the answer.

These Jays kid pitchers will have their up and downs just like all young pitchers.

Tao of Stieb said...

Just when I went to sacrifice my Halladay card, the wind whipped up and the rains came down.

I take that as a sign.

Navin Vaswani (@eyebleaf) said...

Anything and everything with the T-Bird logo must be sacrificed.


North of Steeles, bitches.

sarah said...

Priest! That hypothetical fan is an asshole! Go Phillies.

Tony Viner said...


My team has already out-run most of you imbeciles' predictions, projections and prognostications.

I built this team with one goal: a future of glory for myself, and my allegiant followers. I have gone to prodigious lengths to bring exciting, lucrative, and indeed remunerative baseball to Toronto.

At dinner last night, at Le Gavroche in London, an old friend and unflinching ally asked how "our little baseball adventure [was] playing out." I answered that, through duplicitous, astucious business practices - such as forcing Jose Bautista to forgo his rightful raise - I was able to construct a team that will shock the world.

I explained, "my dear former apprentice went to any lengths - including lying, cheating and stealing - to acquire the best of young pitching", and that, along with my brilliant roster construction over the off season, has already paid dividends.

"Viewership rights have helped line my pockets to a greater extent than even I thought possible", I said with a wry smile and a quick wink. "And those HD boxes you sent me via Hong Kong have allowed me to almost DOUBLE rates!", I belted out in a macabre, laugh. "Imagine the ad revenue!", Les choked out through a mouthful of 'The Old' Glenmorangie, banging his hand on the fine marble table and laughing away...

Look, the point is this: If you fans are fortunate enough to allow my sexy strategy to emerge, it will benefit us all. Have patience, as 2010's 85+ wins will only be the beginning of this handsome fox's plan. I have a few tricks still up my sleeve. Trust me.


Handsome Tony Viner

Darren Priest said...

Damn, Tony, you've got talent. I am seriously wondering who you are. That post is like a scene out of an Oliver Stone movie.

I know we can never hang, but can you at least pretend to know me if I wave and say, "Tony!" in front of my girl? I think she would be pretty impressed.

Tony Viner said...

All I have to say is this, Darren:

If your woman even lays her eyes upon this handsome man's wild baby blues, she'll likely never speak to you again.

Trust me,


Gil Fisher said...

Doc will never win without the Jays. He is a loser. It is unfortunate, but true.

Mattt said...

Doc will be back with the Jays when his three years is up. Seriously.

Chill said...

HTV! I didn't realize how much I missed your ranting until I saw it today. Welcome back you handsome and devious bastard.

Anonymous said...

Someone should tell AA that "dead arm" does not = "sharp pain".

Sharp pain is never good.