Go Starting Pitcher Power Rankings!

There was a time when we were all punk rock about this blog, and all about taking down the hegemony of the clichéed, tiresome sporting press. (No, really. If you look close enough, you might find that day.) So the idea that we are going to indulge in something meaningless and lame like the filler "power rankings" pieces that publications pull together to pass off zingers as analysis is kinda antithetical to what we had set out to do.

But on the other hand, we're much better with the zingers than with the analysis. As such, we've decided to pull together a weekly (or until we get tired of it) Starting Pitcher Power Rankings column, mostly so that we can let you track our mood about the Jays' emerging rotation. (Who says the post-Halladay days aren't fun!)

So, get your respective Team RickRo, Marcum or Cecil homemade t-shirts on, and get ready for the introductory rotation roundup.

1. Ricky Romero (Last Week: 2...in my head, which is where this all comes from anyhow.)
Like we said on Twitter after last night's tough loss to the Cardinals: You know that RR Cool Jay is the ace of the staff because he's been losing or getting no-decisions in well-pitched games in the painful fashion that seemed to be inflicted on Roy Halladay endlessly over the past decade.

2. Shaun Marcum (Last Week: 3)
Marcum moves up, in spite of less then exemplary results this week. He put up decent Game Scores of 57 in a win at San Diego, and 56 in a five-inning outing against the Giants, but not enough to get back to the summit.

3. Brett Cecil (Last Week: 1)
If Brett Cecil were a 20 pack of Chicken McNuggets, we would eat him up in all at once, and not even share. But just as we were stitching the letters on our Team Brett t-shirt, he got knocked around by the Padres and Cards, pushing his ERA to 4.06.

4. Brandon Morrow (Last Week: 4)
There's this suspicion that we have that one day, Brandon is going to have a full month's worth of those starts that make us swoon. He's a number four who we could see leap-frogging to the top of the heap in one stupendous week.

5. Jesse Litsch (Last Week: Unranked)
Because of our commitment following last weekend's outstanding start against the Giants, we cannot comment negatively on any other aspects of Jesse's year so far. Suffice to say, Jesse Litsch is awesomely awesome in every way.

6. Kyle Drabek (Last Week: 9)
PCL pitchers have been awful, while Drabek has been a little better than okay in the Eastern League. We're wondering if the Jays shouldn't just leave him there and forgo any Sin City escapades.

7. Marc Rzepczynski (Last Week: 7)
Probably keeps a spot in the rankings based on reputation, in spite of his 7.01 ERA. However, a good outing against Sacratomato this week (7.2 IPs, 9Ks, 0 ERs) keeps him in the mix.

8. Brad Mills (Last Week: 6)
Mills has scuffling for most of the past month. Hasn't pitched since June 11.

9. Brian Tallet (Last Week: 5)
Last year was the Summer of Tallet. The Summer of Tallet is over.

10. Bobby Ray (Last Week: 8)
He's been hurt since May. But he's not getting any worse.

That's the countdown kids. Feel free to let us have it in the comments or on the Twitter. And remember: Keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars!