He's Carl Crawford. You are his bitch

Carl Crawford has eight home runs this year. Five of them have come against the Blue Jays.

If Carl Crawford played 162 games this year against the Blue Jays, he'd hit 67 homers, drive in 175 runs, and steal 108 bases. He'd have a 1.176 OPS, and 513 total bases.

Which is all to say, Carl Crawford would be the greatest player that ever lived.

And in case you thought you were waking up from this nightmare, know this: The Jays will face Carl Crawford seven more time this season.