Saturday, May 17, 2008

You can't keep Hector Luna down

We were reasonably sure that we'd never write these words again, but Hector Luna has been called up to the Jays from Syracuse for the weekend's series. So the Jorge Velandia Era may be over almost as quickly as it started.

Luna takes the place of Friday's emergency starter David Purcey, who is anxiously awaiting the opportunity to return to AAA where he can get the fuck away from Jayson Werth and pitch to minor league calibre hitters again. God speed.

(And incidentally, the fact that Jesse Litsch had to come mop up after Purcey kinda defeats the purpose of having brought him up in the first place...but we're sure it will all be fine in the end. Right?)

Scrappy Doo Eckstein will come off the DL and be back with the team on Thursday, so Luna's stay will be brief.

How Greene is my middle infield?
Speaking of infielders, we've been letting Jeff Blair's notion of Khalil Greene coming to the Jays stew in our noggin for a few days now, and we're now convinced that this would be the Single Greatest Player Personnel Move in the History of the Blue Jays. (Okay, that might be hyperbole, but we like to get the strongest opinion possible out there first, if only to stake out the territory for ourselves.)

Don't be deceived by the appearances. Sure, Greene pretty much sucks ass this year. We're not even clear how it is possible to have a sub .600 OPS, but he's managed to pull it off. Nevertheless, he managed 27 homers and 97 RsBI last year, playing half of his games in the cavernous neverland that is PetCo Park. Even if for the season Greene regresses back to his mean (15 homers in each of his last three years), he'll still be a far more productive hitter than Scrappy Doo. Moreover, he is a better defender than Eckstein, and he tends to heat up in July and August.

If the Pads are looking to hold a yard sale, then we sincerely hope that J.P. will be like our crazy aunt: get there at the crack of dawn carrying only a change purse and the negotiating skills of a third-world dictator.

The Tao's Interleague Intern in Philly
Having received many generous offers from readers this week willing to act as interns after our plaintive call for help, we took up one particular reader on his offer to send us missives from his road trip to Philly this weekend. The first reports back from the field were filed at about 4 am, and speak to the level of depraved individual to which our blog proudly appeals:
"went to a titty bar, byob, and full nude, saw not a single jays fan, but it was cold and rainy and we got our asses kicked. didn't wear my jays gear, because not sure if the titty bar would allow hats and jerseys.....

pussy good here, philies fans not so much. Got my 93 hat to show off and a modern hat too. fuck them mother fuckers, 1993 was a glorious year. JOE CARTER

will report later when I actually go to a game tomorrow........"
Go forth and do us proud, young taoist.


Darren Priest said...

Is your intern Steve-O? I call bullshit on the "pussy good here" line - unless he's referring to window shopping only.

Prove me wrong, Steve-O, send a scanned image of your Zithromax prescription. ;)

Andrew said...

I say we either go for Adam Dunn or Kahlililillliii Greene. As long as they aren't in high leverage situations then I can deal with their constant 1-4 with 2K.

I'm a little more high on Dunn... talk about 3 true outcome players.

Anonymous said...

The Blue Jays would win the world series if they had Furcal. Maybe they could make the playoffs with Greene.

Torgen said...

Just imagine Adam Dunn as our starting shortstop!

The Southpaw said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Southpaw said...

Foul! Foul I say!

Twitchy posted THIS:

a full 16 minutes before Blair's post went up. And Johnny Was has been pimping for him for months.

(Of, and I was slobbering over Rolen back in February! So There!!)

LOL. Keep up the good work guys.