Breaking News! Players Are Moving!

This is your intrepid non-reporting blogger, nowhere near the scene. We have word of trades emerging from the swamp of rumourdom, standing on their hind legs and breathing air. Join us as the story evolves!

11:07 am: First off, we were in a breakfast meeting. And not a lot was accomplished, aside from possibly giving ourself food poisoning. That much animal product on a plate in a crappy part of town is no one's idea of smart.

All of this to say, we flip on the Blackberry, and there's a flurry in a hurry of tweets about the Kenny-Ken-Ken Rosenthal tweet claiming the Jays are about to trade some relief pitcher for Somewhat-Canadian Mark Teahen! Well, pour some maple syrup on my Gladys, and cover me in cheese curds! (Also involved: Edwin Jackson. Some pitcher we guess.)

The presumption is that Edwin Jackson will be spun off elsewhere, but we think you all know what happens when you presume. You make a "pre" out of...hmm...this was funnier when Benny Hill said it.

Rapid analysis: We said in the offseason that we couldn't imagine Jason Frasor staying with the team for long, and though he has been effective, getting any asset that has MLB-potential and is younger than the Sausage King is a move towards where the team wants to go.

E-Jax is one of those classic "We Can Fix Him" pitchers, whose stuff is electric and who still seems as though he has yet to reach his ceiling. Jackson's also posting a 3.43 xFIP this year, which is actually better than Ricky Romero's. You could look it up.

Also: Mark Teahen is pretend-Canadian.

11:24 am - The Rasmus Thing: Kenny's colleague Jon Paul Morosi floats the notion that the Jays would be looking at flipping Edwin Jackson for Colby Rasmus. SOMEONE GETZ ME TEH SMELLIN' SALTZ!!

11:46 am - Rosenthal tweets: "#BlueJays surely sending more than EJax, potential FA, to #Cardinals for Rasmus, who is under control for 3 more yrs. #tradedeadline #MLB"

Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!! Rasmus!!!

12:04 pm - ESPN's Buster Onley reports that Zach Stewart was part of the E-Jax/SecretCanuck trade, along with Jason Frasor. So one of the Jays' top ten prospects is now gone. (There's an argument as to whether if Stewart would have been a top ten prospect next year, we supposed. Still. You gotta give something to get something.)

12:46 pm - At this point, a multitude of outlets have the Rasmus deal happening, with Marc Rzepczynski headed to St. Louis along with Jackson. Possibly Dotel as well.

Colby! Colby! Colby! OOOOH!

3:51 PM - We'll compose ourselves over the next few hours and pull together something a little more coherent and a little less fanboy-ish.

Enough with the Michael Young Yakity-Yak

Go to Michael Young's Baseball Reference page. Go ahead...we'll wait.

Now check out his comparables. Sure, you see Nomar and Madlock and a few random marginal Hall of Famers. But the one that strikes us is his top comparable through age 33: Ray Durham.

Ray Fucking Durham.

Now think about this for a second: Are you about to trade away prospects for the privilege of paying Ray Durham $16 million this year, and for the next two? Of course you're not. You're not stupid. (We assume that only smart people read this blog. If you are dumb, we're sure there is a slide show of the hottest Blue Jays wives somewhere for you.)

We get why people have some sort of attachment to Michael Young, because for years, he's felt like the one who got away. When Gord Ash (and not J.P. Ricciardi)¹ sent him to Texas for Esteban Loaiza, the Jays were depending on Frank Castillo to be their number two pitcher, while Kelvim Escobar and Chris Carpenter struggled and Roy Halladay got pasted to the tune of a 10.63 ERA. And when Castillo got hurt, shit went crazy.

(And while it's lost in the foggy mists of time, the Jays were a game and a half back in the AL East on July 19th, and feeling as though there were a legitimate shot at the division title. Yes, they were playing "meaningful games" at that point of the year, and "going for it". Which is all that Jays fans were asking at that time.)

That trade was likely the final straw for Ash, and with good reason.

Still, the mythology that has been built around Michael Young amongst Jays fans over the past decade is the sort that can only been driven by loathsome regret. It's like meeting up with that vaguely cute girl from university who you used to blow off, and then seeing her all glammed up and thinking "Damn...what was I thinking?"

(And then someone tells you that somewhere along the line, she got veneers and implants, and she's had a bunch of break downs and two failed engagements, and you're reminded: "Oh yeah...the reason I blew her off was because she was intensely unstable.")²

Because of the distance in time and geography, Jays fans have a pretty tertiary knowledge of Young's game. He plays a large number of his games on the West Coast, and really, how often do you find yourself parking your butt on the couch to sit through a Rangers-Mariners game on a fine summer evening?

We mostly know Young from news clippings and All-Star appearances, his bizarro 2008 Gold Glove, and the fact that he was great pals with Vernon Wells (which, at one point, was considered an asset.) But what we've lost sight of is the fact that Young has put together two excellent seasons and two above average seasons, but aside from that, he's not that much more productive than Juan Rivera.

Look at their career OPS: Young, .795, Rivera .789. And those six points are apparently worth $10.75 million, which is the difference between their 2011 salaries.

Or for that matter, look at Lyle Overbay, who just got chased out of town in spite of being a premium defender, which Young is not. Overbay's posted an .805 career OPS. (And yes, we think the same people who are advocating for Young's acquisition are also the same people who beat down Lylo for not being a "big power bat" because first base is a "power position". Well, what do you suppose DH or third is?)

And if you bring in Young (at SIXTEEN MILLION DOLLA-DOLLA BILLS, YO, FOR THREE MORE YEARS IN CASE WE HAVEN'T MADE THAT TOTALLY CLEAR), what does that mean for the at bats that would go to Adam Lind (.796 career OPS) or Edwin Encarnacion (.790 career OPS)?

Michael Young is a good singles hitter with some occasional pop, but Jays fans have built him into some otherworldly talent. Repatriating him for the sake of closure on the Loaiza deal is a dumbass idea, and we can't believe that it continues to come up by fans who want the Jays to "go for it" this year.

Those who do not learn from the past are damned to repeat it.

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1. Seriously, we still hear people putting this trade on Ricciardi, given the ongoing notion that everything that's ever gone wrong with the team was somehow his fault.

2. Stop me before I sub-reference again. (Which is a reference in and of itself to the younger, skinnier, still-funny, Dennis Miller. Yes, sometime before he started doing M&M ads and turned into a right-wingnut, he was legitimately funny. You could look it up.)

The dominoes begin to fall

Personally, we blame the Ack.

There we were, totally ready to settle in for a snoozy offseason, with nothing but marginal moves and the odd pickup of a guy on a short deal for little money. It wasn't going to upset nobody's apple cart.

And then our Weekend Editor (who will - to his surprise - be taking the reins around here for much of the holiday season) goes and starts writing about dominoes and splashy moves and goddamnit! Say goodbye to Shaun Marcum. We halfway considered going into the Ack's post from the weekend and switching out any mentions of "Travis Snider" for "Eric Thames" and "Kyle Drabek" for "Brad Mills", just to see if we could avoid any further stress and strain.

(Yes...in our mind, this offseason is like an episode of the Twilight Zone where whatever The Ack thinks comes true. So be prepared to make the trek westward to see the Winnipeg Blue Jays starting next year. On the plus side, they'll be in the Central Division! Playoffs!!!1)

Okay, enough of the tomfoolery. A few quick thoughts:

The Marcum Trade
There are some who figure that the Marcum trade is just the start of the moves, and that the Zack Greinke acquisition is sure to follow. The longer we had to think about it, the more that we figured that someone might have grabbed their Jump to Conclusions mat and started hoping around like a mad man.

So setting aside what comes next: We'll give our blog bro hug to Marcum later this week, and we're sad to see him go, but he seemed like the most obvious piece to move. He'll be 29 this year, and likely has a few good seasons left in that arm. But the Jays were getting close to a point where they would have to commit to him, and it was better to move him early rather than late.

Also: We were totally wrong about Marcum's delivery, which we use to think was easy and effortless. But now we look at that pronation, and it kinda scares us. So we can live with that being another team's problem.

As for who's coming back: We're all probably a little too invested in Bret Lawrie as Canadian baseball fans. Strip the maple leaf off his chest, and tell us that the Jays just acquired a guy who has been moved from position to position, hit eight homers last season and posted an OPS below .800 at Double-A, and refused to report to the Arizona Fall League, and we probably would have spent most of the day scratching our heads over this. It would have made the Anthony Gose deal seem obvious.

Still, Lawrie is well-regarded by at least a few scouts out there. We hope. And he's only 21. So there's time for him to pull his stuff together.

(Also, one report noted that the Jays may have been after Mat Gamel, which made us wonder who we'd prefer. We'd lean towards Gamel at this point, with the notion that he'd be ready to take over at third immediately. But we're open to being proved wrong.)

BREAKING! Pat Gillick in the Hall of Fame!
This is not unexpected, but is still great news nonetheless. A trifecta of Gillick, Robbie Alomar and Tom Cheek would make for a hell of a Canadian contingest at Cooperstown this year. But again, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

One thought on Gillick, which we've stated here before, but which bears repeating: There was a time where he was in the sights of the Canadian sports media, who tore into him for not doing enough to put the Jays over the top. "Stand Pat" they called, and they were pretty much ready to run him out of town in 1988.

So to the GMs of Toronto franchises, we offer this bit of solace: It gets better.

A modest proposal: Load up now

It's less than a week away from the non-waiver trade deadline, and things are starting to get a little nutty cuckoo around the baseball blogosphere.

We've made an effort over the handful of years that we've been doing this to not over-exaggerate with the silly trade suggestions, in part because we figure that you could probably make that stuff up for yourself, or find another dozen blogs who will make it up for you. (Or you can read SI's Jon Heyman.) But didn't get to be The World's Most Respected Blue Jays Blog by doing what everyone else does, now did we?

(Note: We're probably not the The World's Most Respected Blue Jays Blog. It's probably some 16 year-old kid on Bleacher Report.)

For a sport whose fans and media generally demonstrate more dynamic thought processes, the trade deadline seems to herd people's opinions on trade possibilities into two simple pens: The Buyers and the Sellers. If you're "out of it", you're selling, and if you're "still in it", you're buying. If you're buying, you're bringing in big league talent, and if you're selling, you're planning for years down the road by taking a flyer on someone else's prospect. That's it, that's all, that's the axiom and you live by it.

With the Jays falling ostensibly into the Seller pen, we have to ask: Why must they move bodies, and why must this be an exercise in looking so far down the road? If other teams who are out of contention are locked into that mindset, why not capitalize on the moment and look to add a piece who will help in 2011?

We give Alex Anthopoulos full marks for already going against the grain in the Yunel Escobar deal, as we think it feeds into a swifter route to contention than the Eternal Building Process. And given the dearth of really interesting free agents in the coming off season, we'd fully advocate for the Jays to consider loading up now on players who could make them a 90+ win team next year as they cast off some players in the last years of their deals.

That doesn't mean holding onto Frasor, Downs, Buck or Overbay, nor does it mean trying to swap those pieces for MLB talent. But if someone is offering a player who still has years left on his contract (like Lance Berkman, Josh Willingham or Matt Capps), we see no reason why you'd fold up your pad folio, turn off your Blackberry and wait until the Winter Meetings to move on those players.

If the deals are out there to be made, why wait?

Deadline: Trade Deadline!

Is it just us, or has the trade deadline speculation just blown right the fuck up in the past 24 hours.

As Blairsy might say: "Geeeeezzusss!"

There we were, feeling all nice and cozy after Alex "Not Beeston's Intern!" Anthopoulos pulled off the commendable swap with the Braves to bring in Yunel Escobar at a bargain basement price. It was like the time that we found a copy of Shattered Glass for $1 at a bargain store. (A loonie? To watch Peter Saarsgard seethe for two hours in a way that no American actor has seethed in two generations? Fuck yes! Please!)

Sorry, lost the train of thought for a second.

The Jays could very well pack up their bags and figure that they've added what could be a very nice, cheap and controllable piece that should be here when they evolve into a dependable 90+ win team. A nice year's work, and we can all be happy.

But at the same time, we feel like Alex is playing with the house's money: He brought in John Buck and Alex Gonzalez as essentially disposable assets. If either of them had flopped, the Jays could have paid them out through the year and walked away with nary another thought. But both turned out better than anyone could have expected, and both might bring back some tangible assets by the end of July.

Moreover, the moves that are being suggested for players like Scott Downs, Lyle Overbay, Jason Frasor, Kevin Gregg and John Buck don't feel like a clearing of the decks from a (excuse the Hillenbrandism) sinking ship. They feel like rational exchanges of sought after resources. This isn't a couple of teams stepping in to take your best player for some magic beans and a low-A ball LOOGY. No matter what the fuck Jon Heyman is on about.

(And speaking of Heyman: Can we just echo Stoeten's line yesterday that he's probably just making shit up, or developing really crappy sources? Because the amount of horseshit that came from his general direction last year through the Halladay mess should be enough to disabuse you of any sense that he's plugged into any real discussions that are going on.)

In pursuit of JoBau
There's seemingly been a lot of tire kicking on José Bautista, and given his stature as the Home Run King of the Major Leagues at this point, it stands to reason.

(Speaking of which: Wouldn't it be awesome if the league leader in home runs got to wear a yellow jersey like they do in the Tour de France, or a golden helmet like they do in the Finnish hockey league. Bautista in a golden helmet would make all the kids happy, and in 15 years when he came back to visit Toronto after concluding his Hall of Fame career, they could give away a JoBau Bobblehead with him wearing the Golden Batting Helmet. Cool.)

We're really of two minds on Bautista at this point. The first thought we have is that he is a very useful and productive piece, and that the Jays have him under control for one more season. And in spite of some notion floated yesterday by Buster Onley that his arbitration number will have eight digits in it, we'd figure that a 40 homer 100 RBI season will still land him less than $7 million, which still fits in the budget.

The other side is that maybe the shiny brilliance that comes along with three months at the top of the home run leaderboard is something on which you've got to capitalize as it is still burning bright, because harvesting the afterglow isn't going to bring you as much back in return.

The trade off, we suppose, is that it seems as though you might have a pretty good shot at two compensatory picks if JoBau can keep this pace up through the balance of this season and most of the next. So whatever you get for him would have to be better than that.

In his chat on MLB Trade Rumo(u)rs yesterday, Tim Dierkes figured that of the Jays' trade targets, Downs, Frasor and Gregg will go before the deadline, while Lylo will go afterwards through waivers and Bautista will stay put. We think that sounds perfectly acceptable to us.

Wait a second...
Did we just buy in to the Eternal Building Process? Damn you, Handsome Tony Viner. Did you use some Inception-style tactics to plant these seeds subconsciously? You are as sagacious and savvy as you are fragrantly pulchritudinous.

Too many Brandons!

We figured that today would be a day off, where we could spend more time online looking at NFL Cheerleaders in their holiday garb and dust off some last minute shopping on Amazon. (Which Gotan Project discs does Mrs. Tao have anyhow?)

Alas, that sneaky bugger Anthopoulos has apparently gone and worked out a deal that would send the apple in the eye of GROF's Drew to Seattle for Brandon Morrow, who has "upside".

Looking at the numbers, we might be able to argue this as an upgrade, and we don't have the same level of attachment to League as some others. But what is worrisome is the plus one to this deal, where the Jays are apparently sending a prospect to the Mariners.

One tweeted report from (Dave Cameron of USS Mariner) stated that the prospect is Zach Stewart, who came over in the Rolen trade. To which we say: Yikes!

Will the trade be consummated? Who will the prospect be? Will Drew freak out online, or will he trash his office, launching slide rules and mechanical pencils hither and yon? Keep coming back today for ongoing coverage of this situation!

11:38 am - Mystery Prospect Update!
FoxSports.com's Jon Morosi tweets that the Mariners are looking for a catcher, which we think likely puts J.P. Arencibia and Brian Jeroloman on notice (via the Drunks.) We like Arencibia more than Jeroloman, but that's based mostly on a quick scan of numbers, and nothing more.

1:16 pm - Lack of News Update!
So, to sum up: Basically pick a player in the Jays system (Arencibia, Cooper, Dopirak, Stewart, Jeroloman) and a commenter on one blog or another has "heard from their source" that such and such a guy is in the deal.

In lieu of discussing the implications of these rumours, we'd prefer to note that we are annoyed and appalled at how Vic Chesnutt's amazing At the Cut is on just one Best of 2009 albums list. (Hooray for Stereo Subversion, and boo to the rest of you hipster douchebags. I'll stomp on your frigging Dirty Projectors records! I swear I will!)

1:46 pm - We have a name, and it is Johermyn
Bastian tweets that Johermyn Chavez, who knocked the snot out of the ball in Lansing last year, may be the mystery bachelor on his way to Seattle (or more likely, to West Tennessee to play for the Double A Dimond Jaxx. Or some other team. Who knows?)

Liked the look of Chavez' numbers, and figured that a steady progression might land him in Toronto eventually, although his repeating a year in the NY-Penn League makes us wonder if there were concerns about him beyond his baseball skills.

Instant Analysis! Ryan Doumit trade rumours

After the better part of two days staring at our Twitter feed, something finally happens.

MLB Trade Rumo(u)rs reposts news from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's Dejan Kovacevic that the Jays and Pirates are talking trade for Ryan Doumit, with Jeremy Accardo's name floated as the possible return.

Frankly, if this were to come to pass, we'd love it. Accardo is a non-tender candidate who is perhaps unjustifiably persona non grata with The Manager, while Doumit is a switch-hitting catcher who has played first and right, and who posted a healthy 4.0 WAR in his last healthy season.

And yeah, we know that he has played other positions because he is no great shakes behind the plate, but we like the bat and the .858 OPS in 2008.

INSTANT VERDICT ANALYSIS JUDGMENT: Fingers crossed, there's something to this. We're adding Doumit to our MLB 2K Jays tonight!

A One-Sentence Post on...Brandon Phillips

Further to Blair's floated notion this morning, we've got mad love for Brandon Phillips, even if he's never played a major league game at third, and he's only once OPSed higher than .800 in his career.

That's it? That's your theory?

So at some point in his Declaration of Principles call over the weekend, Alex Anthopoulos noted that he wanted to build (NOT re-build, goddamnit!) the Jays with trades, the draft, free agents, international signings, and minor league free agents. That's Alex the Ant's plan. Beautifully fucking illustrated.

Actually, that's not really a plan. It's more of a regurgitation of a primer. (Someone was boning up the night before his exam...er, presser.)

And it stands in stark opposition to the previous regime, who, if they didn't acquire players in one of the ways listed above, must have just waited for players to fall from the sky through the roof of the Dome.

Whatever they think that they're doing, one thing seemed pretty clear from all of this jibber-jabber: There's no great sack of money that will be thrown at the team this year to address any of the problems or gaps that they have, and there won't be any additional money available to paper over the mistake that is Vernon Wells' contract. What we, as Jays fans, are being told is to be patient and that someday, someway, maybe there will be a competitive team in town.

This clearly isn't the mythical J.P. Five Year Plan. It's the newfangled Alex Ant indefinite plan, The Eternal Building Process in which the team will continue to set aside a serious run at the Wild Card or (god forbid) the AL East crown until such a time as they feel comfortable making a run. Because they wouldn't want to embarrass themselves, would they?

We used to pity Pirates fans, because it seemed like keeping the faith with the Bucs was a Sisyphean chore. It kinda feels like they might be pitying us by the end of this.

Picking through the entrails to find little shards of happiness
Look, don't get us wrong. It's not that we're rooting for Alex the Ant to fail. And it's not that we're totally pessimistic. After all, it sounds as though the team is in the midst of looking for a replacement for Cito Gaston, which should be Job #1 if they ever want to be anything in this league.

And to be honest, we can actually understand if the organization didn't necessarily want to can Cito after the player revolt, if only to head off an ongoing series of such clubhouse calamities every time the active roster members had their feelings hurt or their needs not appropriately attended to.

We're holding in our mind's eye a vision, and that vision is of the day in the early season this year where Cito steps aside and pulls the ripcord on his golden parachute. Maybe even before the season starts.

What a pleasant thought.

Talking 'bout rumours
It was weird that within 24 hours of our floating Chris Snyder's name out there as a possible target, there were rumours that he would be coming to Toronto, followed by assurances that he and his gimpy back were not to be exchanged for Lyle Overbay.

We're not sure if we have any powers to make these things happen...but if we do, here goes: We think the Jays should make a run at Lance Berkman, David Wright and Felix Hernandez. Please please pretty please.

The Tao's Wandering Eye: Give us some Figgy pudding, or maybe some Zim

It was mentioned in the comments yesterday that Mike Wilner asked Aaron Hill in a recent interview if the player who had indicated to Lighthouse his interest in playing in Toronto had a name that rhymed with "Phone Higgins".

To be honest, we'd never been much a of Figgins fan in the past, having written him off as a bit of a slap and dash type with marginal fielding skills. Seeing him boot a couple of balls in a playoff game against the Red Sox has probably stuck with us, and we're always a bit wary of guys who put up high averages but mediocre slugging.

But in recent months, we've started to come around on the free-agent-to-be, and we're ready to start visualizing him as Jay next year, if only so that we can be disappointed this offseason.

After a lousy season in 2008 (.685 OPS, 1 HR, 72 runs scored), Figgins has rebounded nicely this year, with 100 runs scored, a .404 OBP and .406 SLG. He still gets thrown out more than we'd like to see (16 times versus 39 steals), but he'd make an ideal top of the lineup option for the Jays in 2010, should they need one.

(Although there's a good argument to be made that Marco Scutaro's numbers are better, and we fully expect our wise and sage-like readers to make that argument in the comments.)

Also, Fangraphs tells us that we shouldn't believe our lying eyes when it comes to Figgins' defense, as he ranks third in the majors amongst third basemen with a 13.0 UZR/150. Only Evan Longoria and Ryan Zimmerman (13.8 and 16.1) rank ahead of him.

Speaking of Zimmerman...
MLB Trade Rumo(u)rs' Tim Dierkes makes the argument that the Nationals should consider putting Zimmerman up for auction in order to replenish a lagging farm system. Zimmerman is in the midst of an outstanding season (.372 OBP, .527 SLG, 27 HRs and 90 RsBI), and is locked up through 2013 at a fairly reasonable rate.

And though it seems as if he's been around forever, Zimmerman is still only 24 years old, which is nearly a full year younger than Brian Dopirak, and just about a year older than J.P. Arencibia.

We're not necessarily thinking that the Nats will offer him up, but if there is a guy who might be worth selling the farm for, it would be Zimmerman.

If Orlando Cabrera is the answer...

...then seriously, what the fuck was the question in the first place?

For the amount of machinations that the Jays are going to have to make use of in order to add this dude (or is that dud?) to the roster, you'd think they might want to go after someone who gives you more than Marco Scutaro can provide.

SUPERAWESOME UPDATE! The A's sign Cabrera! The A's sign Cabrera!

We NEED a pitcher, not a belly-itcher

As per a request in the comments of our shortstop rundown in the last post, we figured we'd share our views on the Jays' forays into the starting pitching market this off season. (We're nothing if not responsive to our readers.)

Obviously, this whole thing is going to be complicated by the fact that we don't really know what the Jays will have in terms of a pitching staff or a starting rotation in the coming two years. What sort of pitcher will Casey Janssen be next year? When does Dustin McGowan return to the lineup? Will Jesse Litsch come to camp in shape and ready to be a number two pitcher? Can David Purcey throw strikes?

Regardless, there's going to be a significant gap in the rotation left by A.J. Burnett (and let's just stop kidding ourselves that he's going to leave money on the table to come back). The Jays are also likely to be squeezed on how much they can offer to free agent pitchers, so they'll be looking for bargains on name-brand pitchers. (Not quite the same as the Ohka-Zambrano-Thomson spree from a couple of years back.)

So who can help fill the void? See our humble suggestions below.

1) Ben Sheets - Yes, we know that he is made of sugar, and that his strike out rate has declined while his walks have gone up. We know that he hasn't pitched more than 200 innings since 2005, and that he has excelled pitching in the NL Central. We know that there is a reason why teams will be scared away from him...but that's exactly why we think he might be a fit for Toronto.

He might be the sort of pitcher that could be had on a shorter deal, which would allow some payroll flexibility and which wouldn't create impediments for the Cecils or the Mills coming up through the system. And if his health returns (he did manage 198.1 innings last season), he might be the best number two pitcher in the division.

2) Derek Lowe - Our guess is that he'll have plenty of suitors, including the Yankees and Red Sox. But given Toronto's outstanding infield defense, we think that the sinkerballing Lowe would be an ideal fit with the Jays, serving up ground balls on Rogers Centre turf. He's been a durable and reliable starter since coming back out of the BoSox bullpen in 2002, and had one of his best seasons last year (3.24 ERA, 1.13 WHIP).

3) Jon Garland - Speaking of ground balls, Jonny Sinkers lives and dies by his infield defense, which went into the toilet for him in Anaheim last season. (The Almighty Halladay would have had a rough ride last season if he was being backed up by Chone Figgins at third, Erick Aybar at short and Howie Kendrick second.) His numbers in his first year in the greater Los Angeles area were far less than stellar (4.90 ERA, 1.51 WHIP), but he was a Cy Young candidate as recently as 2005, and is not yet 30 years old. Once the top names are gone, Garland could be a good fit at the right price for Toronto.

4) Brad Penny - He's big. He's fat. He has good first halves. He gets into bar fights. He's one of the Brad Arnsberg Marlins diaspora. He'll likely command less than the $9 million that the Dodgers would have had to pay him. And if you're looking for next year's Cliff Lee (the mediocre pitcher who suddenly becomes a world-beater), we think that Penny is as likely a candidate as any.

5) Oliver Perez -And if Penny isn't going to be next year's Cliff Lee, how about Perez? Our sense of Perez has changed a bit over the past few years, where we we no longer expect him to be an elite pitcher, but that he can have flashes of brilliance. Think of him as a left-handed A.J., only with junk instead of stuff. (Does praise get any fainter than that?) Perez walked entirely too many batters last season, and it is probably not reasonable to expect him to post less than a 1.30 WHIP.

6) The Old Skool MTL Crew - Petey Martinez and Randy Johnson. They're old, and they certainly ain't what they once were. But, you know, in a pinch, we wouldn't mind plugging them in as a fifth stater...provided they aren't the only answer. Besides, think of how many Dick Griffin columns would write themselves if these former Expos came on board!

We realize that we're probably completely wrong about all of this, but when you don't really have much of a budget to work with, how do you do things right?

In any case, feel free to chastise us for our simple-mindedness in the comments. We live for your criticism.

Shortstops à gogo

Stop us if you've heard this one before: The Blue Jays are on the look out for a shortstop this off season.

And how sad is this: The last Blue Jays shortstop to have two consecutive seasons of playing more than 1000 innings (roughly 115 games) at the position was Alex Gonzalez in 2000 and 2001. Since then, a veritable rogues gallery of marginal players have suited up at the position. You've got your Chris Woodwards, and you've got Chris Gomezes, along with a little Mike Bordick here and your occasional Russ Adams there.

There are a handful of names that are being tossed around as possible replacements for the departed and not-so-lamented Scrappy Doo, and we'd be derelict in our duties if we didn't share our thoughts on them. (Right?)

Below are our views on six possible options for the Jays up the middle next year.

1) J.J. Hardy - Our personal pick of the litter, Hardy seems like he's been around forever, even though he's still just 26. He's hit 26 and 24 homers in the past two seasons, with an OPS .821 last season. In spite of numbers like those (which look positively Ruthian when compared against the output of Jays shortstops) , Hardy never seems to get much respect in Milwaukee. Now that the Brewers are set to go with top prospect Alcides Escobar as early as next April, rumours (or is that wishful thinking?) are popping up around the interwebs that he is headed to any number of teams. (Seattle, Twins, Cardinals, Red Sox...everybody's got their eye on Hardy it seems.)

Brewers GM Doug Melvin told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinal that the best offer he's received so far for Hardy is "a No. 5 starter." Might the Jays be able to shake him loose with a set up man or a closer?

2) Rafael Furcal - He was great offensively when he played this year (1.012 OPS in 36 games) after a subpar 2007 season (.687 OPS). He was also brutal in the field in this year's playoffs, and while he gets to a lot of balls, and has a cannon of an arm, his 27 errors in 2006 are a little scary. But Furcal is (and we hate ourselves for saying this) the prototypical lead off man that the Jays could use at the top of their lineup.

He'll command more than $10 million per year on a short contract, and might be worth it if he's willing to take a one or two year deal to burnish his credentials.

3) Orlando Cabrera - Allegedly loves Canada, and is loved by Richard Griffin. Still a good fielder, but his offense last year was awful, and he actually wouldn't really represent any sort of upgrade over Marco Scutaro. (Cabrera: 8 HRs, 57 RsBI and a .705 OPS; Scoots: 7 HRs, 60 RsBI, .697 OPS.)

Cabrera is getting by on reputation at this point, and hasn't had an OPS over .800 since 2003 with the Expos.

4) Khalil Greene - A favorite target of Blair, Greene actually posted a sub-.600 OPS in 105 games last season. Granted, he played in San Diego in the most cavernous of all ballparks, but his home-road splits were actually worse on the road. In 50 games away from PetCo, Greene put up an awful .542 OPS, including a putrid .225 OBP.

Greene is an excellent fielder, but he'd have to revert back to his 2007 production (27 HRs, 97 RsBI) before we'd consider him any sort of an upgrade over what we've got. Which brings us to...

5) What We've Got - The question is: how much do you start to give up from your roster or from your payroll flexibility in order to grab one of these marginal improvements? If Scutaro were to perform up to last year's levels, would the Jays suffer that much? Could Scutaro get the job, with McDonald subbing in as a defensive replacement? Can't we just call these guys our number nine hitters and move on? Isn't there a way that we could make the most of the players on the roster? All questions which bring us to...

6) Aaron Hill - The little birdies with Eckstein faces have apparently stopped circling his head long enough for the Jays to pull him off the 60 day DL this week. And while the conventional wisdom is that the Jays won't want to rush him into a new role while he slowly makes his way back, it's hard to overlook the emergence of Joe Inglett last year.

There weren't many good stories to find with the Jays' offense last year, but Inglett acquited himself well in 344 ABS (.762 OPS, nine steals, 45 runs scored and 39 RsBI). Inglett is a decent second baseman, but lacks the arm to short and has only done so for only 11 innings in the Majors.

Hill played 63 games at short in 2006, making an unseemly 12 errors in that limited time. But his defense has improved significantly at second over the past two seasons, which at least hints at the fact that he could master the other side of the diamond.

And the moral of the story is...
None of this is particularly a ringing endorsement for any of these guys. Then again, maybe we have to adjust our offensive expectations for shortstops. After a decade or so of hard hitting middle infielders, there was only one shortstop in the majors to hit more than 30 homers (Hanley Ramirez, 33), and none who drove in more than 90 RsBI (Jhonny Peralta drove in 89).

(UPDATE: A belated glove tap to the Ghostrunners for inspiring this post.)

The Tao's Wandering Eye: Mike Jacobs

Since it came up in yesterday's comments (dig through the prolonged discussions on mulleted soft-rockers and you'll find it), we figured that we'd share what we think of Marlins 1B Mike Jacobs, who may be available to a team looking for a power bat.

We actually like Jacobs, and think of him as a discount version of Adam Dunn: he'll hit homers (32 last year) and drive in a good-not-great number of runs (93) in part because he strikes out to damn much (119 times last year in 447 ABs, versus 39 walks).

One particularly important stat to look at with Jacobs is how much better he hits on the road than at home in spacious Pro Player Dolphin Loria Stadium. Last year, Jacobs posted an OPS almost 120 points higher on the road (.872 versus .758), and a look at his stats over the years at least suggests that there are a number of Miami doubles that may turn into home runs in other barns.

Jacobs isn't an elite player, but 32 homers in the current power climate is nothing to shrug at. If the Marlins are looking to get rid of Jacobs before they have to pay him, then there is a great opportunity for the Jays to get themselves an upgrade at DH without paying through the nose for it.

On the other hand, why get hamburger when you can get a huge slab of meat?
MLB Trade Rumo(u)rs' Tim Dierkes speculates that the Jays could be in the running to pry Prince Fielder away from the Brewers if he hits the market.

Be the first to buy your custom Bradley and Cabrera Jerseys
Bleacher Report released its MLB Free Agent Rankings and Predictions this week. Their signing predictions figure the Jays will dish out generous but somewhat reasonable contracts to DH Milton Bradley (two years, $30 million) and SS Orlando Cabrerra (three years, $25 million). We'd be a bit surprised if the Jays have that kind of coin to toss around, and we think that in spite of their tepid offense last year, a starting pitcher still has to be a priority in a post-A.J. world.

Eating Raul

Ken Rosenthal of the Sporting News reports that Raul Ibanez and fellow (sub)Mariner Jarrod Washburn have both been claimed on waivers. The news has sparked off more of a frenzy than anything else the Mariners have done this season.

Seems like everyone wants to cut themselves off a nice tasty slice of Raul. Twins fans want them some Raul. So do the Massholes.

MLB Trade Rumors notes that of the "contending" teams, the Jays would get their crack at Ibanez before either of those teams. And it wouldn't make a lick of sense for them to go back to that empty well again, but screw it, man...We want Raul!

We don't even care if it's a dumb move.

Updatey stuff: Sportsnet says the Jays have run Wells and Johnny Mac through waivers. The Minny Star-Tribune says the Twins didn't claim Ibanez. Geoff Baker mentions that the White Jays might have claimed him to get the draft picks. Ibanez doesn't think that anyone's gonna get him.

Our take: If the Jays acquire Raul Ibanez (which they won't), he would assume the mantle of the Greatest Blue Jay of All Time from the injured Scott Rolen. We're crossing our fingers.

Trade for Bay: A last desperate act?

There are rumours afloat now that the Pirates and Jays are talking about a Jason Bay trade now that the three way Manny-Hermida-Bay-and-prospects-for-all deal seems to be withering away.

ESPN's Jason Stark says that the Jays would need to cough up a package of three prospects, including Travis Snider, while RotoWorld floated a notion of Adam Lind and Brett Cecil.

We love Bay, but this seems like a strange and desperate move, should the Jays proceed. Then again, Bay's a good middle-of-the-order bat and is signed through next year.

Updatery, 3:18 pm: The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's indefatigable Dejan Kovacevic (via RotoWorld) reports that the inquiries consisted of one call, where the Bucs asked for Lind and Shaun Marcum, and the Jays wisely declined.

And for those of you playing the home game: this is why the Pirates haven't had a winning season since 1992.

More Updatery, 3:31 pm: Jeff Blair, apparently on break from packing for Beijing, is on top of rumours at the Globe's Baseball Blog. Among the hot rumours: Raul Ibanez. And it's quite the indictment of the Jays' offensive woes that we're vaguely excited about the idea.

5 minutes to the deadline update: Jason Stark says the Ibanez deal's dead, but that it had be a 2-for-1 with all MLB players. Also, the Rays may not have a deal done for Bay. Which is good, because our general distaste for the Rays has morphed into outright hatred over the past week.

Et enfin, 17h26: Manny to the Dodgers. Bay to the Red Sox. Prospects to the Pirates. Oddly enough, we're happier that Bay is shipping up to Boston. That's how much we've come to hate the Rays.

Trade Deadline Snoozerama

We should probably be a little more excited about today's non-waiver trade deadline, but somehow, the fact that our team will stay mostly on the sidelines today has us less than thrilled.

Not that we want the Jays to trade just for the sake of it. After all, you can't expect them to go out and acquire David Segui every year.

Although there may not be much movement from the home side, we'll be checking out Tim Dierkes' indispensable MLB Trade Rumors on and off today just for the hell of it. It already appears as though a few blockbusters are in the making (including the Manny-induced Bosox-Pirates-Marlins extravaganza and the shocking Griffey to the White Sox trades.)

By the end of the day, we might even learn to drop the "u" out of "rumours" in our occasional searches for news.

Why wouldn't you want Aubrey Huff?
Sure, the Jays already have lots of left-handed batters whose best position is batters box, but we're as surprised as Dierkes is that no one (including the Jays) is showing any interest the Baltimore DH. We're not sure that it would make much sense to cough up a prospect for Huff at this point in a season that will optimistically end a few games over .500. Still, a guy with 22 HRs and a .916 OPS would have to add something to the lineup.

A modest proposal: Acquire Gil Meche

Okay, fine. Maybe it's a stupid idea. But just hear us out on this one.

You can never have too much pitching, or so goes the axiom. Certainly, the 2008 edition of the Jays bears that out, what with the dodgy labrums on Casey Janssen and Dustin McGowan, Shaun Marcum's slow recovery from an elbow something-or-other, A.J. Burnett's potential opt-out, and Jesse Litsch's recent crash back to reality.

Meanwhile, the Royals are apparently prepared to start their annual house-cleaning, with Meche's name being amongst those being mentioned as possible trade bait. After a rocky start to the season, Meche has been fairly effective since June 10, going 3-1 with a 3.27 ERA in 44 innings. His strikeout rate isn't great (29 Ks over that period), but he's not walking a ton of guys either (13 BBs).

Mind you, Meche might not be overly anxious to get to Toronto given that J.P. Ricciardi essentially questioned his manhood after he spurned the Jays' contract offer before the 2007 season. But give Doc Halladay an opportunity to nestle him under his wing, and we're sure Meche will come around...right?

Meche has three years left on his five-year $55 million deal, and as has been noted in the case of A.J.'s deal, that seemingly insane figure has quickly become a bargain when it comes to mid rotation starters. At that number, Meche could fit in nicely as a number three starter, and could provide some insurance should A.J. bolt in the off-season and should Casey and Dusty Peaches recover slowly from their shoulder troubles.

Hey, what can we tell ya. It's trade deadline week, and we've just decided to throw some junk against the wall. There are four more days of this nonsense, so get ready for a whole barrelload of silly speculation.

Cheers to the Weekend Editor
Our thanks to The Ack for his steady relief performance over the weekend. While we were away attempting to explain to the missus why a $50 Expos t-shirt with Al Oliver's name and number on the back was a wise investment, the Ack brought his own take on the weekend's events, replete with Meatloaf (and meatloaf) references. Well done, sir.

Now you should start praying for Aaron Rowand's demise, seeing as how you have been designated as our Raw Bacon Consumer of Choice should the Giants centrefielder hit 20 bombs in any of the next few seasons.

You can't keep Hector Luna down

We were reasonably sure that we'd never write these words again, but Hector Luna has been called up to the Jays from Syracuse for the weekend's series. So the Jorge Velandia Era may be over almost as quickly as it started.

Luna takes the place of Friday's emergency starter David Purcey, who is anxiously awaiting the opportunity to return to AAA where he can get the fuck away from Jayson Werth and pitch to minor league calibre hitters again. God speed.

(And incidentally, the fact that Jesse Litsch had to come mop up after Purcey kinda defeats the purpose of having brought him up in the first place...but we're sure it will all be fine in the end. Right?)

Scrappy Doo Eckstein will come off the DL and be back with the team on Thursday, so Luna's stay will be brief.

How Greene is my middle infield?
Speaking of infielders, we've been letting Jeff Blair's notion of Khalil Greene coming to the Jays stew in our noggin for a few days now, and we're now convinced that this would be the Single Greatest Player Personnel Move in the History of the Blue Jays. (Okay, that might be hyperbole, but we like to get the strongest opinion possible out there first, if only to stake out the territory for ourselves.)

Don't be deceived by the appearances. Sure, Greene pretty much sucks ass this year. We're not even clear how it is possible to have a sub .600 OPS, but he's managed to pull it off. Nevertheless, he managed 27 homers and 97 RsBI last year, playing half of his games in the cavernous neverland that is PetCo Park. Even if for the season Greene regresses back to his mean (15 homers in each of his last three years), he'll still be a far more productive hitter than Scrappy Doo. Moreover, he is a better defender than Eckstein, and he tends to heat up in July and August.

If the Pads are looking to hold a yard sale, then we sincerely hope that J.P. will be like our crazy aunt: get there at the crack of dawn carrying only a change purse and the negotiating skills of a third-world dictator.

The Tao's Interleague Intern in Philly
Having received many generous offers from readers this week willing to act as interns after our plaintive call for help, we took up one particular reader on his offer to send us missives from his road trip to Philly this weekend. The first reports back from the field were filed at about 4 am, and speak to the level of depraved individual to which our blog proudly appeals:

"went to a titty bar, byob, and full nude, saw not a single jays fan, but it was cold and rainy and we got our asses kicked. didn't wear my jays gear, because not sure if the titty bar would allow hats and jerseys.....

pussy good here, philies fans not so much. Got my 93 hat to show off and a modern hat too. fuck them mother fuckers, 1993 was a glorious year. JOE CARTER

will report later when I actually go to a game tomorrow........"

Go forth and do us proud, young taoist.

Litsch still pink and efficient, though vaguely less round

We'd heard that Jesse Litsch was working out with Roy Halladay over the winter, which perhaps explains why Doc prefers the pinkly efficient starter as the Jays' number five guy. It also might explain why Litsch doesn't look nearly as round and doughy as he did last year. (Then again, it could just be that he looks slim compared to corpulent golfer John Daly, who was in attendance at Sunday's game. Musta been Free Hot Dog Day at the ballpark in Clearwater.)

Speaking of Litsch, here's our vote for the stunning meaningless spring stat of the weekend: Litsch struck out six in four innings as the Jays topped the Phillies 9-4 in Sunday's fake game. His game-high in 2007 was five strikeouts. Not that we want to read too much into Spring stats.

Drunk MLB Rumours
The Drunk Jays Fans' Stoeten has been handed the reins of MLB Trade Rumors for a few hours. True to form, he showed up late and hung over. Aside from that, we're amazed at how straight he's played it so far. Seeing the restraint that he demonstrated when blogging about Sidney Ponson makes us worry about the onslaught of filthy words and thoughts that are sure to spill out when he returns to his home digs.