Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Mike Piazza is no longer an option

Mike Piazza, who is definitely not gay, is no longer an option for us (or Mike Wilner) to idly speculate on as an answer to the team's occasional offensive woes.

The former All-Star catcher, who nearly perfected the art of the unironic porn 'stache and served as the target for Roger Clemens' bat-tossing exploits, announced his retirement today. He's planning on staying home with his somewhat hot wife (former Playmate Alicia Rickter, who looks a little torn down these days) and the children that he absolutely sired himself with the fruit of his own loins, because he is definitely not gay. No gay stuff for Mikey. Totally straight.


Joanna said...

Alicia Rickter also magically looks like 3 different people in those pics. Maybe it's the result of being a beard. Not that I judge.

The Southpaw said...

Not even a little bit gay?

We're going to having to go hunting to get a couple of extra pairs of goat horns for Hill and Rios.

Andrew said...

Somewhat hot? MILF.

The Jays need to get to some crappy pitching staffs. We need to see more New York, Chicago, Minnesota, and Kansas City.

Gotta keep the faith.

Darren Priest said...

I wonder how this Mike Piazza is gay thing got started. Was he seen in a bar with Wendall Clark and Stephane Richer?

fantasybaseballmacbookpro said...

After seeing this post I went to YouTube to find the Roger Clemens bat tossing incident, cracks me up to watch it. Funny stuff.


Andrew said...

I went to find your video but I found this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWbZw4x79es

I think I have discovered something I should never have.