Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Morning briefs

We have no thoughts of our own this morning. So we're just going to steal from others. Goddamnit, why is that coffee taking so goddamned long to brew?!

Calling that dude "underrated" is totally overrated: The Drunk Jays Fans have the piss take on the survey done by a second rate distiller of third rate Irish whiskey on who's "underrated" in baseball. Also, the blatant the misuse of the term ironic. (Are you happy Alanis? Do you see what you've wrought?)

One day, Dusty Baker is going to choke on that toothpick, and baseball will become just that much smarter: We tip our caps and genuflect to the Southpaw, who's been grinding it out over the past few weeks and showing lots of scrappy grittiness. (Hey-O!) Really, you should reading them everyday, but we especially like their take on Flat Earth Society Executive Director Dusty Baker and his ongoing efforts to run the Reds into oblivion. (We weep for Jay Bruce and Joey Votto.) Also, as noted by the DJF this morning, they did yeoman's work to dig deep and find out everything there is to know about Buck Coats, our new favorite player.

Bob McLeod loves Dunedin too much to leave: Contrary to what we said yesterday, Globe Junior is still in Florida, but too hung over too preoccupied with getting the real story to make the cross-state trip to Kissimee. So he stayed behind to watch Scott Downs scoop up the sort of Blue Jays merchandise that we'd never be caught dead buying. (Did Downs not get a signing bonus with that $10 million dollar contract? Because dude should really be able to do better than Blue Jays WristStrong bracelets.)

The madness to come: Belong to Rios makes some sage predictions for 2008, including further Dusty Baker madness and the phone calls that will drive Mike Wilner into a profound madness where he'll lock himself in the booth with a plate of pork schnitzel and a case of Black Velvet rye.

Speaking of Wilner: He finds meaning in the fake games, and speculates on how the whole Litsch/Janssen thing will shake down.

The Jeff Blair Appreciation Society: The Mockingbird's Jon Hale takes issue with our assessment of the Globe's baseball guru, noting that he is pleasant and mannerly. We'd like to note that we don't find Snappy the Turtle's grumpiness to be a bad thing.

Marty York makes shit up: "According to information obtained by Metro" may be the funniest line we've read all week.

3 comments:

the ack said...

gee marty, Brian Roberts and Brandon Inge are being dangled? Seriously? Unbelievable!

Tao of Stieb said...

In other breaking news from Metro, left handed pitchers are increasingly being referred to as "southpaws".

Also, Metro hears from its sources that the MLB front office is looking to plan a playoff series between the champions of the National League and the champions of the American League this October.

Colin said...

I think he thinks that the Metro is a real newspaper.