Friday, March 28, 2008

Friday Morning Briefs

Out amongst the walking wounded: We spent most of the off-season lighting candles and tossing pennies in fountains, praying and wishing for good health for the 2008 Blue Jays. Fat lot of good that did. The word (via Blair at the Globe) is that Scott Rolen and his busted digit are optimistically gone for five weeks. Add to that Matt Stairs' old man hip troubles and the extra time that it will take for B.J. Ryan to right himself, and 2008 is starting to look a lot like 2007's Bhutan Bataan DL March.

Beej to return deep in the heart of Texas: Maybe. There's some brave talk from pitching coach Brad Arnsberg (to MLBastian) that Ryan could be back in time for the April 11-13 series versus the Texas Rangers. Seeing as how Ryan had his surgery last May, we'd be inclined to stick with Accardo and the rest of the bullpen for at least a few more weeks, if only to assuage our fears that the Jays are tempting fate by sending him out for real game action within 12 months of his Tommy John procedure. (And 12 months is an arbitrary number, but we find comfort in the most arbitrary things.)

Gimme some Skin: After getting the call back to the big club, Buck "Skin" Coats homered, made an outstanding catch over the wall in center, fed a puppy, gave CPR to an ailing high-waisted snowbird, and whipped up a healthy and delicious soufflé in the Jays final fake game in Florida. Actually, we just read the boxscore, so the only thing we can confirm for certain in the list above is the homer. We just imagine that Buck "Skin" Coats can do whatever he wants. (And a hat tip to Will who came up with the nickname in yesterday's comments. We're now going to beat it into the ground.)

The Drunk Jays Fans are on the air: As if we weren't already jealous enough of the Drunk Jays Fans' site traffic and the vast number of comments they receive on even the most perfunctory posts, now comes the news that they'll be on Sun TV's The Grill Room with poncey fruit tart Gareth Wheeler on Wednesday, April 2. Moreover, the boys were approached by Sony to hand out swag (MLB 08 The Show for PS3) as part of their Opening Day Live Blog. We're happy for the DJF's success (better them than that dull old thing that rhymes with Matter's Mox)...but we've got to stop comparing ourselves to them before our self-esteem goes totally in the toilet.

17 comments:

Chris said...

Maybe you need fewer pictures of dudes' packages leading off your posts.

Tao of Stieb said...

Point taken. It's starting to look like Dov Charney's living room around here.

Buck16 said...

DJF has ball players playing with their ... uh ... balls a couple times a week, so that's not it.

They're just drunker and swear more, I guess.

Tao of Stieb said...

Fuck. Fuckin' fuck.

(There...that oughta be good for an extra couple of hits.)

The Southpaw said...

At least I hold you in the highest of esteem, Comrade.

JW.

Lloyd "the barber" Moseby said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one with site traffic envy.

Maybe your comment numbers are lower because you present a complete and succinct argument, with no room for dispute. People read, say "damn, he's right" and are on their way.

Jack Cooney said...

I think it's Bataan Death March.

Bhutan is a progressive, peaceful nation. The chances of having a death march there are approximately nil :)

Tao of Stieb said...

Right you are, Jack.

We're happy that we have readers who are more literate than we are to catch these things.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Bhutan, they have the coolest flag out there...go ahead google it.

Joanna said...

At least you get Blair mentions on occasion and nine comments. I get nothing!!

and yay Buck!

Tao of Stieb said...

That Bhutan flag is so wicked that we're going to pay a drunk coed to get it tattooed on the small of her back.

Stoeten said...

Oh you guys... I'm still unconvinced that the MLB 08 thing isn't a scam, and the Grill Room is just me, and is the product of good, old fashioned, knowing a producer from long before the blog.

(Uh... there actually is something sort of big and exciting we're working on, but it's way too soon to get into that just yet. We'll be in touch, though, if it actually happens the way we hope.)

Anonymous said...

1. Depressed tag? Hilarious.

2. Showing panties and still calling it Friday Morning Briefs likely wouldn't have confused or upset many.

3. Because, and only because of that picture, I first mistakenly read ...lighting candles and tossing penises in fountains...

4. Stoeten: I'm wetting myself w/ excitement.

5.That flag rocks. Druk-Gyal-Khab indeed.

6. We still love you Tao. Lay off the depressed tag.

7. T-minus 69 hours!!!!

Jonathan said...

Now that you mention it, I'm surprised at the lack of traffic for Jays blogs in general. Even for The Drunks, the audience seems like peanuts compared to other teams.

That's why I have my other blog about celebrity side-boob. The comments aren't as interesting, though.

Dustin Parkes said...

Can I get a URL for that?

Anonymous said...

I don't think Matter's Mox's Excel Charts and All-star teams of guys named Mo translate well from the Internet to television or from someone's mind to the Internet.

Anonymous said...

Whoa, what do you have against Matter's Mox "online baseball magazine"?