Saturday, May 23, 2009

The Cavalry's a-comin'

Unfortunately, the cavalry is arriving in the form of fresh arms for the rotation instead of hot bats to boost a slumping Jays offense. Oh, there is Voodoo Joe Inglett's lefty swing to replace the suddenly-overwhelmed (and demoted) phenom, Travis Snider....but as much as I like me some Joe Inglett, he's more of a warm blanket than a ball of fire. No offense, Joe. I've got your back.

Yes, it will be fantastic to see Casey Janssen and his funky high socks delivery taking a turn every five days, and we're all hoping that young Ricardo can regain his early season magic (remember, Vegas stats don't count for shit) to help stabilize the rotation.....but as evidenced in the series opener against 1992's World Series losing team, the way the Jays are swinging the sticks, a rotation of five Doc Halladays wouldn't help.

(The above statement, of course, is just fucking ridiculous, as a rotation of five Roy Halladays could cure cancer before breakfast, let alone win a few goddamned ball games. The Jays would run the gauntlet with default victories from cowardly opponents refusing to take the field if such an absurd reality were to occur. But I digress....)

What we need to hope for, friends of the Tao, is for the Vernon Wells Hatred Advisory System to return to acceptable levels, for the Blissful Gazelle to be just a little less oblivious, for Lyle Overbay to find directions to those outfield gaps he used to frequent so regularly, and for Scott Rolen to continue being Scott Rolen (because I believe in him).

In short, a few fucking hits please. Jesus!

I'm starting to question why we're carrying Johnny Mac
Or Jean-Mac, if you prefer. The truth of the matter is, "starting to question" is an understatement, but when the team is winning, it's hard to quibble with roster make-up. I'll also remind you that it's impossible not to be a fan of John McDonald - in the field, there are none better, and he carries himself like the professional baseball player that he is, and has been for 11 seasons.

But seriously now....if your predominant (only?) tangible asset is sublime defense, but the team's starting shortstop is above average defensively, and thus not a candidate for late-inning replacement....and the title of "clubhouse leader and all around good locker room guy" is already taken by an idiot (his words, not mine) with a penchant for cowboy-ing up (what?)......then what exactly is your role on the club?

Hey Philadelphia, you done with our guy Stairsy yet?


eyebleaf said...

I make that call Cito made.

I'm trying not to focus on Wells' inability to hit in the "clutch," and Doc's wasted effort.

I'm thinking about Casey. Back on the mound. Get it.

Tao of Stieb said...

Where, oh where, have the Jays bats gone.

If Cito still has some mystical magical powers left, he'd better toss some of that fairy dust on their bats soon.

Capt. Obvious said...

That was sad last night. What a waste. The Sox and Yanks lost too. Frustrating.

Torgen said...

The 1-0 12 inning loss to Pittsburgh was the darkest-before-the-dawn moment last year, so hopefully the bats start to come around today. Of course there was a 7 run comeback that fell short the game before that which we didn't have this year, so who knows.

A True Blue ,Jays Fan said...

Cito Dorito is a so-so manager. what hims him bad sometimes is his refusal to move Rios and wells. If Wells and Rios shit the bed a month from now, they have to be moved. I don't give a shit how Cito Doritofeels. You can't have a a 3/4 combo this bad and get anywhere. Rios/wells have to be moved if they continue to suck. If not get rid of Cito if he says no. You can't have the Pop-up king Wells AND the lazy Rios being the meat of the order when they suck so much.

True Blue Jays, Fan

PS wasn't that game sad last nite? Doktor Halladay pitched his heart out and the Japanese pitcher who sucked aginst everyone was great against the Jays??Very sad indeed. Especially when the Pop-Up King and the Lazy one are 3/4! IT will be interesting to see Casey pitch BUT he's pitching against a damn good pitcher. If he pitches lights out then it would be sad if he loses because the Jays can't hit!

MK Piatkowski said...

Sadly, I'm thinking we need to move Johnny Mac too. As much as I love him. I'd rather see Mighty Joe up here permanently.

Jack Twist said...

Philadelphia will never give up Matt Stairs. Once you've hammered that sweet Stairs ass, it takes a hold of you. They wish they knew how to quit Stairsy.

SP said...

Didn't Joe Inglett hit a grand slam in that 7 run non-comeback in Gibby's last game? That was cool. I don't care what anyone thinks, I'm on the Inglettwagon.