Friday, January 30, 2009

An open letter to Scott Carson

Dear Mr. Carson:

Hi Scott. Is that a tad too informal? Can I call you Scott? I mean, we don't know each other, but I've been following your work on the parent company's website, and have probably heard many of your contributions on the broadcasts, even if those attention whores Campbell and Tabler don't give you the hat-tips that you undoubtedly deserve as the patented "third man in the booth." As an aside, what happens when you have a guest? Do you become the "fourth man in the booth?" But I digress (who am I, Jerry Seinfeld? Jesus.).....

I'm writing you this letter, Scott, because I wanted to ask you a question.

Why?

Why, in the good name of David Andrew Stieb, did you post that article earlier this week? Another "Doc is on his way out" blast....really? You don't think that bullshitty speculative angle hasn't been beaten - to - death already? Who are you, Dan Graziano? Look, I know it's been a slow offseason for news, but there had to be another reason. Was it to feed the lemmings already uber-pissed at Jays management? Was it's purpose to whip the casual fan into a fully lathered frenzy? If that's the case, then either way - judging by your reader comments - mission accomplished.

No, I think it was something far more sinister than that, Scott. I think you were trying to hurt me. You know it'll damn near rip the innards clear outta me if Doc leaves, whether it's via trade or free agency. I wish I could be more eloquent, but that's how I feel.

You see Scott, I, um...see the facts a little differently. I see that Roy Halladay has two years left on his contract. I see the Jays with a good young core with a chance to be great sooner rather than later. Growing pains in '09, maybe (probably?), but promising nonetheless.

I see a potential rotation - whether it's 6 months or a year down the road - being anchored by Doc, with proteges Marcum, McGowan, Litsch, and Cecil behind him (and let's not entirely count out David Purcey, Tampa killer). You can't win with that rotation? What's that? Not without any offense? Oh, so you don't think a core of Rios, Snider, Lind, Hill (assumption - brains unscrambled), Wells, and some relief at either first or third (with respect, Lyle and Scott) can score some runs? No? Not even down that same proverbial road? Well, I guess that's where we differ.

And I guess that's all we have left to say to each other.

Best,
The Ack.

7 comments:

Colin said...

Well I'm glad somebody called bullshit on this, I read it several days ago and it really pissed me off. They're making something out of nothing and there's no real reason for it.

eyebleaf said...

I saw it, but didn't bother. Come on Carson, hit me with some new shit.

And, open letters are the best. Ever.

Saturday Steve said...

I fucking hate open letters, hack writing by hack losers.

Ian H. said...

Way to be a Debbie Downer, Scott Carson. Jump on the "Trade Doc" bandwagon, why don't ya?

FNA said...

I fuckin love open letters, ack writing by ack losers.

Anonymous said...

Fuck man, whenever I read anything that even mentions Doc not as a Blue Jay I go into an uncontrollable rage and break something by me.

Today, an old lady had her hip broken. Dem's the cards you were dealt deer, dem's the cards.
Grandma, I'm sorry.

But for real. The Jays need to everything in their power and maybe even steal some of somebody elses power to ensure that Doc remains a Jay for every single fucking start he ever makes, or I will kill someone.

For real.

Anonymous said...

I was so fucking furious as I wrote that I mistakenly wrote Deer instead of Dear.

Someone's gonna pay...