Friday, May 9, 2008

What a Mench!

Hey now!

Not only have the Jays made it official by acquiring Brad Wilkerson, but they've also gone out and traded a sack full of mountie quarters to the Texas Rangers for Kevin Mench and his gigantic fucking cranium. (Which, as we pointed out before, couldn't have come from excessive intake of Lik-a-Maid. Swedish Berries, maybe.)

DFA'ed to make room for the two new dudes? Sergio Santos (we barely knew ye) and Gus Chacin. The Machine is dead. Long live the Machine.

Incidentally, it was Mench who hammered a comebacker off Roy Halladay's leg a couple of years back in Texas, so Doc should at least be allowed to get one good lick in on Heavy Kevy before his first game. Towel whipping, bag tag, indian burn, purple nurple...whatever the weapon of choice, Mench should prepare himself for the worst.

Now the question is: where in hell do you find the lineup spots for Stewart, Mench, Wilkerson, and Matt Stairs? And what happens when Scrappy Doo and the PMoD are back in the house in 15 days?

Moreover, What's Edgardo Alfonzo up to these days?


eyebleaf said...

shawn "grand slam" camp and this valendiawhatever fellow go back down when eckdonald come

Darren Priest said...

I like Mench because his head is bigger than mine.

The Southpaw said...

are we still hopefull? the room is spinny enought that I'm convinced it's 2005. where did my woman go?


Andrew said...

It's 2008. Get a calendar.

As for Alfonzo, On December 14, 2007, Alfonzo signed a minor league contract with an invitation to spring training with the Texas Rangers. After getting reassigned to minor league camp, Alfonzo was released before the season on March 27, 2008. Now he plays for Tigres de Quintana Roo in Liga Mexicana de Beisbol. (via Wikipedia)

I'm sure if the words 'Major League Contract' were spoken into his ear he'd start applying for a work visa. Read: he's going to be in Mexico for a while.

Anonymous said...

ur articles are so similar to djf

Tao of Stieb said...

Yes, in fact, our articles are similar to the Drunk Jays Fans.

Maybe if we were the Tao of Steve Balboni, or if they were the Drunk Twins Fans, then you would see a vast difference between our posts.

And fuck you anyhow, anonymous. You cat shagging lowlife.

Darren Priest said...

Chill, bro, he was referring to another blog called "ur"

And if he wasn't, he needs to see if he can hold his breath longer than David Blaine.