Friday, April 4, 2008

Boston, beatdowns and boobs

We're not sure what was in the drinks being served in sections 516 and 517 at tonight's home opener, but it looked like Hell Night at Lake Havasu over there.

We can't be sure what precipitated the nasty scraps in that section, but the pasty shirtless ginger dude certainly looked like a Masshole.

(Then again, there were more than a few douchebag Jays fans in attendance. To the dude in our section who wore his sunglasses all night inside the dome and chanted "U-S-A!" every five minutes, you are the exact opposite of cool. You are early 90's Corey Feldman-stlye ridiculous.)

There was also the girl in the same section flashing her lady pillows, to much applause from the Jerry Springer crowd around her. Although this being Toronto, even the rowdy douchey drunks were polite enough not to yell "show your tits" more than once.

To top it off, there was the couple who decided to strip to the waist and run on the field with two out in the ninth and Accardo.If only they had as much brains as Miss Fluffy Fragrance had boobs. We hope they enjoy their night in the drunk tank together.

And above all, Jays win. A bonerific night for all.


omurchu said...

Not sure if you're listening to Jaystalk but half of the callers are complaining about drunks.

My opinion: you want to avoid drunken louts its best to sit in the expensive seats (where the drunks tend to talk to much or maybe puke, but not fight).

Navin Vaswani said...

i'm a respectul drunk. i wasn't about to get in a fight on the day that Martin Luther King Jr. was murdered. that would just be wrong man. massholes are, well, assholes. and so are some jays fans too.

tallet was bonerific tonight. love that motherfucker

and marcum was dope too. 4 quality mother fuckin starts. that is the fucking shit i am talking about. that is pennant type shit. sure, it's only 4 fucking games, but, fuck, this rotation is sick. hopefully litsch can keep the ball rolling.

go mother fucking jays go.

i'm sorry about the language.

love the blog Tao. jays for life.

Anonymous said...

Getting drunk in the expensive seats is awesome. I puked on Troy Glaus' wife two seasons ago.

True Story.

briz said...

"if you want to avoid drunken louts its best to sit in the expensive seats"

exactly. if you don't want to deal with belligerent drunks, don't buy the absolute cheapest tickets you can get. or sit in the non-alcohol seating areas. if you want to take your 6 year old daughter out to a ballgame for some good old fashioned family fun, go on saturday.

that aside, i thought the fans last night were relatively well behaved, and i was very pleased at how few red sox fans i saw. definitely a great game all around.

Darren Priest said...

Another massive beatdown today (April 5). Help us put this in perspective Tao. It's way too early to dream the impossible dream right?

With apologies to Frosty:

"There must have been some magic in those old powder blue unis...for when they placed them on their backs, they played like it was the early 90s"