Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Let's turn the page on April

And with tonight's tremendously entertaining, brutally heartbreaking 2-1 loss to the BoSox, that's a wrap for the first month of the season.


Good riddance to April.

Random thoughts on tonight uniquely spirit-crushing loss
  • Dustin McGowan, sans lambchops (not porkchops, as Jamie Campbell called them), looked brilliant on the mound tonight, and deserved better. (Hmm...where'd we hear that before?)
  • Speaking of Campbell, dude has to get over his mancrush on all things to do with Boston. We know he's a ginger and his people are there in Boston, but please, JC, stop gushing over every play, every tradition, every Neil Diamond singalong, every douchebag in the stands...just stop.
  • Johnny Mac's margin of error is very slim, so a gaffe on the bases like tonight's is going to stand out for a while.
  • You've got to feel for Vernon Wells, who made one great throw and one good throw that hit the mound in the ninth. Redemption is such a fleeting thing.
  • Quien es mas macho? Scott Rolen (four doubles and one homer in five games) es mas macho. Muy macho!
  • One image we're totally fucking tired of seeing: Kevin Youkilis and his gigantic cranium and his stupid goatee dancing around the infield in celebration. There's a roll of loonies and our gently used copy of the August 2001 copy of Playboy (featuring Belinda Carlisle!) to the first Jays pitcher who plants one in his ear.
  • Another futile plea for sanity from JaysTalk callers: Reed Johnson was not going to go into the stands to bring back that Big Papi homer, and Rios didn't have a shot at it unless he ran full speed into the stands (and even then...)
  • Speaking of JaysTalk callers: We're weeping for the state of the English language. We missed the first few minutes, but was there some sort of announcement that tonight was Malapropism Night, and we just weren't in on the joke?
  • It's not even May yet, but listening to J.P. Ricciardi on Wednesdays with J.P. is already pretty classic. The GM was wound pretty tight tonight, especially when giving his unequivocal assurance that the Jays would not in any situation sign Barry Bonds. It sounds to us like he's sick of answering the question.
  • Did you see that kid in the stands that got the David Eckstein foul ball in kisser? Yeesh. It was only a fleeting shot of an anguished bloody face that showed up on TV, but that was some serious nightmare fuel.


Drew said...

That kid will hate the Blue Jays for life. The Jays and his dentist. They are going to be spending a lot of QT together in the next few weeks.

Navin Vaswani (@eyebleaf) said...

i'm a homer, the biggest one around, but i thought mac got back in time...tie goes to runner, n'est-ce pas?

as for that kid, yeah, that was pretty awful...but i'm with you on youuuuuuuuuuuuuuukilis...i hate that guy and his butt-shaking batting stance. i wish he took it in the chops instead of that kid...

fuck. what a heartbreaker. this season is quickly going down the toilet...

Andrew said...

May just got stuck in the drain so we gotta run to the store for some Draino.

The Ack said...

shortly after the game ended, I went down to my basement (in the dark), put my headphones on, and listened to Def Leppard's "Bringin' on the Heartbreak".... on repeat.

Is that weird?

...and I don't care if that kid's parents were full blown 3rd generation card carrying Masshole members of Red Sox Nation, that was just awful.... I hope he's OK.

Tao of Stieb said...

Seeing that foul ball reminds us of why we like to sit behind the screen or in the 200's.

No screaming line drives to the teeth for us, thank you very much.

Brendan said...

Tie doesn't go to the runner. The rule states that the runner has to "achieve the base" whatever the fuck that means. Umpires though, and we were taught this from very early on, interpret that to mean the opposite. The tie, if there is one(umps will tell you there's never a tie) goes to the defense.

I hate Wilner callers and the dudes who post on TSN's "Your Call" thing not for their poor grammar(that just makes me mildly enraged) but for talking about baseball like it's hockey. For example, one might say "the Jays need a new head coach, eh? One that can really fire up the boys to hit when it counts. And Vernon, he's the captain, so it really falls on his shoulders if the team isn't doing good."

Ian Hunter said...

Good points. I really can't stand Jamie Campbell's fascination with opposing teams. Pedroia's snag in the 9th on Tuesday's game was a great example; he was so excited, I think we could hear him getting a semi.

And I'm also getting annoyed by these World Series Winning-like celebrations at home plate by the Red Sox. Really guys, come on. Are you going to do this after every win?

Brendan said...

I was on a hockey team once that won pretty much every game we played, and after every win we jumped on the goalie and threw our gloves in the air and celebrated like we'd won the cup. And we knew we were being assholes...and we were 12. The Red Sox are just assholes.

Anonymous said...

Hey Tao

Mutton chops not lamb chops

Anonymous said...

Scott Rolen o Ricardo Montalban...Rolen o Montalban?

Tao of Stieb said...

Hey Anonymous:

What fucking animal do you think that mutton comes from?

Lamb, mutton. It's all the same thing.

Brendan said...

Here's a baaaaaaaaahd pun.

gabriel said...

Hey Tao-
If McGowan was actually hanging slabs of sheep flesh on the sides of his face, we could debate how old the animal was that furnished them.
As it is, Anonymous is right. Lamb chops yum; Mutton chops, good riddance.