Playing Catch Up with a Mess o' Items

Zaunie's got a red ass
Gregg Zaun dialed up his favorite sounding board, CanWest's John Lott, and let loose on the Jays organization and J.P. Ricciardi for a series of slights (both real and imagined). While we're not inclined to pine for the return of a 38 year-old catcher with diminishing skills and a possibly overinflated sense of his worth, we'll confess that J.P.'s statement near the trade deadline that nobody wanted Zaun was a bit offside.

(Even if it was true, Ricciardi should probably have shrugged it off and eaten shit when the press was grilling him on Zaun trades.)

We'll miss Zaun this year, and we hope he lands the backup spot on a contender as he states is his wish. We also hope that he makes his way back north of the border for the occasional broadcasting gig, because his fake slow-mo clinics in the commercial breaks in the playoffs were as insightful as a whole year with certain analysts.

If Marty York says it, you know it must be true
In his latest commuter rag scribblings, Marty York buys in fully to the "Bob McCown's Stan Kasten for Jays President" story, noting that Gord Kirke met with him in New Orleans. And this is absolutely newsworthy, as Gordon Kirke is not at all known for hanging out with sports figures and front office types. So something must be up, right?

Cito to be honoured
We'd never heard of the Jackie Robinson Lifetime Achievement Award before today, but if it exists (and apparently it does), then we can think of no one better to receive it than Cito.

This offseason is having an affect on us
It's making us very sleepy. Someone jostle us awake when something happens.

This is how I want to remember him

I was pretty hard on Greggg Zaun when he made his "trade me to a contender who wants me" comments as the trade deadline approached. "Fuck you, Zaunie", I said. "Sit down and accept your role as a backup on an also-ran", I thought.

Sometimes you forget these guys are human (except Doc - total cyborg) - with pride, envy, anger, and all the other human emotion bullshit. But the deadline passed with Zaun still a Blue Jay, now relegated to a start or maybe two per week, and I found myself starting to feel a little bad for the guy. Here's an old pro who thought he had earned the right to start for the team he'd spent the past five seasons with, and now he's a dead man walking backup with a suddenly uncertain future.

So for the last month, I've really been pulling for ol' Zaunie to do well and earn himself one more big league contract next season, wherever he may end up. The month of August had a different plan for triple-G Greggg, however, and bitch-slapped him with an 0-fer (19).

Fast forward to late Saturday afternoon, and all is well in the world again.

But enough with the literary prose and melodrama......holy fucking shit! A walk-off granny! Seven in a row! Fuck Joe Maddon!

Did I mention that was Seven in a row?
I think I did, but....seven? When was the last time this club has gone a week+ without losing? And yes, Tampa/Boston/New York fans, I know it's borderline pathetic to be so excited about a fairly modest win streak in the month of September with my team out of it. But you know what? Fuck off. I'm trying to make this a fun little month of baseball here.

Special thanks to BJ for nailing it
What do you mean, BJ Ryan almost blew the game? How boring would a three run victory have been? Way more boring than a grand slam walk-off victory in the 13th inning, that's for damn sure.

But seriously, that's a couple reeeeeaaaaal shaky outings in a row now for BJ. In his defense, Cito has been, let's say, unafraid to go to BJ lately, to the point where he probably could use a breather. I still say Ryan is a monster next season.

Truth be told, I'm a little more worried about Scotty Downs the stretch (lame pun intended). Maybe all this talk of moving him into the rotation is fucking with his head. Thankfully, the Jays are blessed with a bullpen including Nails League and Nails Carlson to hold down the fort while the big two work it out.

Three things to celebrate about a three-game win streak

Shaun Marcum is back (knock on wood): Although Marcum pitched better than his pitching lines indicated over his first three starts, last night's performance (seven innings, one run, three hits and seven strikeouts) was the first time that he truly looked comfortable and in control since his return from the DL. It doesn't hurt that he was facing the inept Oakland A's lineup, but nevertheless, it's good to have him back.

Rod Barajas is an offensive monster and a defensive beast: In addition to his montrous first inning dinger off rookie Gio Gonzalez, Barajas had a stellar game behind the plate. Rod the God made a great play to pick a John McDonald throw out of the dirt to get a force out at home with the bases loaded, and he called an excellent game for Marcum. We think...or we suppose...Maybe we're just piling on Zaunie here, but it seems to us as though Jays pitchers look more comfortable pitching to him.

Alex Rios is quietly turning things around: In his last seven games, Rios has scored eight runs and has 11 hits. While only two of those hits have been for extra bases, Rios is putting good wood on the ball and is keeping the line moving. His OPS this season is still sitting at about 100 points below last season's, but it has been ticking slowly upwards since his dreadful May, when he posted a .585 OPS.

Given his performance this season, we're coming around to the idea that instead of thinking of Rios as a a corner outfielder who mashes, maybe he should serve as the Jays' leadoff hitter going forward, somewhat in the vein of a Johnny Damon (in his prime): a leadoff guy who hits for average with a bit of pop and lots of speed. Assuming, of course, that the Jays have a better option next year in the middle of the lineup.

Roy Halladay must have been awful last night

As Steve Simmons is undoubtedly whinnying to himself this morning, this is what is frustrating about Roy Halladay. He's cruising through the game, and then he gives up a home run to a fat former Rookie of the Year, and the Jays lose.

Because he totally lost last night's game. Look it up in the boxscore! Halladay (L, 12-8). The Jays should really be concerned about his performance, since he slid back closer to being a .500 pitcher. Maybe they should trade him for Jeff Francis.

Zaun would like to scope out other cities' breakfast joints
Hearing that Gregg Zaun wants out of Toronto to find a place where he can get more playing time is both sad and a little bit funny. We love Zaunie, but he's at the end of his road now and is not likely to find a spot around the Majors where he would slide in to be the number one catcher. It's just that he's the last to know it.

The most devastating quote of the day goes to J.P., who might have been better served to not comment as opposed to dropping this wicked Heathers/Mean Girls slam on Zaun's head:

"Part of making a trade is someone has to want you. Right now, there's no one that has expressed an interest in him. That's where we're at."

That's cold.

Matt Stairs walks between the raindrops

It seems as though this is a post that we've been ready to write for months now, but every time we're about to commit our thoughts to the blog, Matt Stairs hits a game-changing homer, and we feel like a chump for having thought it.

But really, there's no one on the Jays roster who has escaped criticism more than the man from Tay Creek, N.B.. We're sure that it doesn't hurt his cause that he's a good, hockey-lovin' Canadian boy who has heart and grit and is a leader in the locker room (as if any of us would know that), but Stairs' production as a DH/Corner outfielder has been subpar all year.

For the month of July, Stairs is hitting .121, with a .521 OPS, one homer and three RsBI in 11 games while striking out in 15 of his 40 plate appearances. That just ain't no good.

For a good chunk of the season, it was hard to call Stairs out because he was actually leading the team in homers. But given a bit more time in this season and a bit more perspective, it's hard to tip your cap to the man for being the best of an outrageously feeble bunch.

Stairs is roughly on pace for about 16 homers and 50-odd RsBI for the season. No matter how much we love the guy, those are just not the sort of numbers that you can carry in your lineup for any extended amount of time, especially from a guy who is hitting somewhere in the middle of the lineup.

Telling sad tales about the feeble offense
Stairs might be struggling this month, but check out the OPS for a few of the Jays this month if you really want to ruin your day:

Gregg Zaun: .386
Rod Barajas: .451
Brad Wilkerson: .484
Scott Rolen: .573
David Eckstein: .560

The Blue Jays will make your dumb off season signings look sorta good

Not to be a downer about tonight's 3-1 win over the Mariners, but didn't the Jays make Carlos Silva look like a legitimate Major League starting pitcher, instead of the overpriced tomato can that he is? Maybe his fellow struggling southpaws Dontrelle Willis and Barry Zito could use a start against the Toronto Nine to get themselves righted.

Sure, the Jays won, but it was mostly on the back of a stellar pitching performance from Dusty (Return of the Lambchops) McGowan, who went the distance.

Odds and Sods

Gregg Zaun's hospital gown provided by Gregg Zaun: Blairsy reports that Zaunie (cripes...this isn't a Canadian blog or nothin', eh?) will not come off the DL as soon as initially thought, providing Rod Barajas with more time to steal his job.

Jon Hale will answer your queries forthwith: Good job by the Mockingbird's "stat dude" for getting on the case to answer Blair's questions about the favourable calls that Halladay might have received on Sunday. It's a tribute to Hale's intellectual honesty that he doesn't make too many homer excuses for why Halladay gets the calls he does. (Also, we like that he's lost track of the Aaron Rowand bacon meter, as a stellar May by the Giants centerfielder has us fever-dreaming about nitrates.)

Snap judgements

Your new starting catcher?
Rod Barajas, who slid like a motherfucker into that random Molina's shin guards to put the Jays up in the fourth and drove in a pair to bust it open in the seventh, now has five homers and 19 RsBI. Meanwhile while Gregg Zaun has two and eight respectively in about 30 more ABs. (Oh, and Zaunie likes breakfast, which we won't hold against him in this matter.) We hate to make too hasty a judgment, because we're invariably wrong on these things, but you're gonna have a hard time jamming the Sportsnet Playoff Anchor Whose Teeth Shall Go Unseen back into the lineup when he comes back.

Hey, you know what the Yankees could use?
Another sleeve patch. No, really. Let's add another commemoration of the end of this version of Yankee Stadium (vintage, 1976). It's the House that Graig Nettles Built, so we guess we should all genuflect and show it the respect that it deserves, right? How about some Chris Chambliss patches on the ass of every player? How about a patch sewn into the skull of every Yankee to honour the truly awful and stupidly expensive boiled hot dogs at the Bronx House of Botulism?

Can everybody just shut up about Joba already?
Fat ugly toad Joba Chamberlain lasted just over two innings. There's your god damned saviour, Yankee fans. And while we're at it, Joba (born 9/23/85) has done pretty much fuck all as a major league starter aside from having some overhyped "rules" named after him, while Jesse Litsch (born 3/9/85) is 7-1 this year with a 3.18 ERA (and 14-10 with a 3.58 over his first two years.) Not that we think it is an injustice necessarily, or that things won't play out differently in the end...but it does make us want to smack Michael Kay in the face with a Rideau Crusher every time we hear about how great Joe-Bah is.

Instead of apologizing for nebulous reasons, Jason Giambi should apologize for that really stupid mustache.
That's really stupid mustache. We bet he goes to all the hipster bars in New York, orders up bottle service for all his hangers-on, and then points at his supposedly ironic lip hair exclaiming "Hey man! Check out my mustache!" He should really stop trying so hard to be cool, because we all know that he's just a scared little jock douchebag who wants the world to love him again, even though he's a fraud and a sellout. Trying that hard only reinforces it.

Trying to accentuate the positive

If nothing else, at least the Jays didn't get their asses handed to them on Sunday. Right?

While we're trying to fight back at the darkness, Jon Hale drops the knowledge on us that Frank Thomas is hitting marginally better in his time with the A's. And although he's still not setting the world on fire, he's still hitting better than just about anyone on the Jays over the past few weeks.

Let's play two
It doesn't appear as though Sportsnet will be airing the early game today, which is too bad because the matchup (Fausto Carmona versus A.J. Burnett on an extra day of rest) should be a good one. The late game kicks off 30 minutes after the conclusion of the first, and features the reincarnation of Sandy Koufax, Cliff Lee (6-0, 0.81 ERA) versus Shaun Marcum, which is nothing to sneeze at.

(Update: According to the preamble on Gregg Zaun's blog, Sportsnet will be airing both games, so feel free to go ahead and fill your boots.)

The message to Lind
Speaking of Sportsnet blogs, Jamie Campbell wonders about the message being sent to Adam Lind with his demotion and the team's acquisition of Brad Wilkerson. To be honest, we don't think that Lind got a fair shake, as he faced more major league calibre left-handed pitching in his brief recall than we think he should have in an ideal world. Still, it's better to have Lind in the lineup and getting his reps everyday than to have him in some sort of job-sharing situation with Matt Stairs and Shannon Stewart, never mind Wilkerson or Kevin Mench.

Still, Lind is 25, and by now he should be established as a part of the team's present, not their future.

What's that awful taste in our mouth

Is it the two days worth of retching until we blew out the capillaries around our eyes, or is it the fact that we just watched the Jays, with last night's 5-3 loss to the Disney World Rays, slip into last place in the AL East.

We're leaning towards the latter.

A few thoughts on the past couple of nights.

How many catchers can you fit into one lineup? Apparently, at least three. With Zaunie handling the actual catching duties, Rod Barajas taking over for an ailing Lyle Overbay at first, and rookie Robinson Diaz DHing, the Jays packed the lineup with backstops last night. Being the negative Nellies that we are, we immediately started contemplating what would happen if Gorman Thomas came crashing into Zaun, and the Jays were forced to re-jig the lineup on the go. Thankfully, all three of them made it through the game healthy, although their performance (0-11, topped off by a Diaz flailing at a Troy Percival breaking ball for strike three in the ninth) left something to be desired.

At least were not along in our misery: Apparently, we're not the only ones who are miserably sick. There is some sort of flu-like thing going through the Jays' clubhouse, which felled Alex Rios last night. Not that we're looking to make excuses for the team, but if they had anything close to what we had, then we get why they've looked listlessly awful over the past week, losing six of their last eight.

Who needs a bullpen? It took Roy Halladay 107 pitches to get through last night's game for his second straight complete game loss. The question for us is: Are the Jays running the risk of burning him out this early in the season? Doc looked fine at that point, and his greatest strength is his efficiency, so surely there's nothing to worry about. Right?

Matt Stairs is awesome: Boo yah!

After a game like that, the snooze button is your friend

Extra innings can be fun. On a summer afternoon, with the lid open, free baseball is just the ticket.

But on a school night, with myriad projects to work on and a pressing need for sleep, last night's 14 inning, 7-5 loss to the Rangers was a bit of a shit sandwich. After seeing an A.J. Burnett sinking stinkball skitter between Gregg Zaun's wickets in the top of the 14th, we rolled over and told Mrs. Tao to wake us up if they managed to come back.

Unfortunately for us, the only thing that woke us up was the demonic squeal of the alarm clock.

Random thinkings

Gregg Zaun continues to like small ball, breakfast: When the Zaunbie King took second on a barely passed ball in the 12th, we were almost ready to concede that this whole small-ball, tempting fate running the bases like a maniac thing might just be working. Almost.

Joe Inglett is the saviour is a bum: Zaun's baserunning might have meant a little more if Joe Inglett could have done something more (or maybe more to the point, something less) with Franklyn German's splitters in the dirt.

Don't be fooled by Brian Tallet's ERA: Sure, it's sitting at a sweet 2.00, but Tallet's two walks and a hit in two-thirds of an inning was a flaming bag of poo left on Jesse Litsch's doorstep.

Now that's an ass-whuppin'

Thoughts on last night's 11-3 annihilation of the Orioles:

Signs that it is time to give up baseball and pick up a nice hobby: Listening to the radiocast, Jerry and Alan went on at length about the difference in speeds between Steve Trachsel's fastball (which was hitting around 82-84 MPH) and his changeup (which was hovering around 77-80 MPH). It was right about this time that Traschsel mixed in a curve to Aaron Hill, and boom went the dynamite, a three-run blast. We're thinking Trachsel should probably take his deliberate pitching routine, pack it up in a duffel bag and head out on a cruise to Tahiti, where he can put people to sleep with his shuffleboard skills.

Was that really necessary? We get that Marty Pevey is supposed to be more aggressive as the third base coach, but did he really need to send Gregg Zaun on what was going to be a close play at the plate and the Jays up 10-3? It might have been bad form, although we'd like to think that Pevey wasn't thinking about the Orioles' feelings on the play. It might have just been a matter of Pevey seeing the play and reacting to it. Or maybe Zaunie had to get to the dugout to write a blog post. In any case, we're not opposed to watching our guys run up the score.

Oh, and Shaun Marcum rocks: Marcum gave up a couple of big flies, but was rock steady for the rest of the night (6.2 IP, 4 hits, 2 runs). We'll confess that the one guy in the rotation that we were apprehensive about in this off season was Marcum, as we weren't sure that he'd be able to replicate last year's exceptional performance. However, watching the ease of Marcum's delivery and the way that he stays calm on the mound, we're really coming to appreciate anew the gem that we've got in this guy. If that's our fourth starter, we can deal.

Frank Thomas is sleepy: Frank Thomas drove in just one run since leaving the friendly confines of the Rogers SkyDome. While he did get hits in all three games of the Baltimore series, his average has slipped below the Mendoza line. So let's not get overly excited about him having a better start to this season quite yet.

Apparitions: We were caught off guard last night by seeing Guillermo Quiroz, the Ghost of Catchers of the Future, er, Past. And just as we were snapping our head around to see Alex Rios' old running mate, dude waved at a ball that slipped past him like he was a matador. Nice to see you again, Q.

Please re-embark on the bandwagon in an orderly manner

Thoughts on last night's 8-5 win over the stumbly Rangers:

You know it's a trend when Gregg Zaun steals home: It wasn't your Mondesi-Hill variety straight steal of home for Zaun, but kudos to the veteran for taking advantage of the poor judgement and worse throw by his Texas counterpart, Gerald Laird. Incredibly, with the four bags swiped last night, the Blue Jays lead the Major Leagues in stolen bases with 13, while they have been caught four times. Credit goes to the Jays' coaching staff for forcing the issue with other teams on the basepaths while still being smart about when and how they send runners this year.

Please give it up for your AL RsBI Leader, Vernon Wells: So where are all of those voices questioning Wells' lucrative extension now? With two more driven in last night in his hometown, Vernon shares the league lead with Rays Carlos Pena (who's huge performance last year may not be as much of a mirage as we thought.)

News from the Pink/Round/Efficient File: It is easy to forget that Jesse Litsch just turned 23 last month. Nothing about him seems overwhelming, but you can't argue with his performance. He won his second game of the season last night, striking out five (versus two walks), and made a great play on a Josh Hamilton screamer back through the box in the first.

Good luck, Buck: Our favorite new Blue Jay Buck Coats got the start in left field last night, only to be given the bum's rush down to Syracuse following the game. Not that this is a reason for his demotion, by Coats goofed up defensively last night by allowing David Eckstein to call him off a play that the diminutive scrappy gamer grittily dropped. The Jays recalled Joe Inglett, who is off to a torrid start to the season (1.121 OPS, 17 total bases in 8 games), but who will be hard-pressed to find playing with amongst Little X, Scutaro, and McDonald. We liked how the Jays used Coats as a late inning defensive replacement for Matt Stairs and Shannon Stewart, and we're not sure that we like the idea of either of them patrolling the outfield in a close game.

Finding new favorites: It's hard for us not to like Jesse Carlson. Any relief pitcher with a goofy delivery hits us in our soft spot. Our first favorite baseball player was Kent Tekulve, and all these years later, we can't have a catch with our buddies without tossing at least one with our Mark Eichorn delivery. (Which usually bounces up to their feet, but we weren't making any claims to our athletic prowess.) Carlson pitched on back-to-back nights, and has held down the fort nicely (no runs, no hits, 2 Ks in 2 innings), unlike...

John Gibbons' mancrush, Brian Wolfe: Wolfe made his fifth appearance of the season, and gave up a home run to Josh Hamilton that may still be traveling through Oklahoma at this point.

Sloppy grit doesn't equal wins

A few random thoughts on Game 1:

There's your running game for ya: Given all of the criticism the Jays received last year for not being the 1985 Cardinals, it's worth noting that the three bags that they swiped and the one runner that Zaunie cut down (Derek Jeter, no less) didn't automatically add up to a W. It's only one game, but the Jays' inability to cash in the runners that they put in scoring position with timely and effective hitting remains a problem. You have to feel for Marco Scutaro, who hit a laser the other way at a drawn in Jason Giambi, who miraculously came up with the grab.

Aaron Hill is frickin' wicked: Hill made Melky Cabrera work in centre field last night, and might have had three doubles instead of one if Johnny Damon were patrolling that position. Dude is dialed in, and we're guessing that he's hitting regularly in the two, five or six spot in the lineup by the end of the month. (And by the way, one of those Melky catches was a Jim Edmonds fake-hustle special, where he dove after the ball was in his glove. Poncey bastrich.)

Doc is an intense, angry man: Roy Halladay pitched last night as though it were Game 1 of the World Series. When things go wrong for Doc, we usually get the sense that he's swearing at himself on the mound. Last night, though, he glared in at home plate umpire Gary Darling (who was ridiculously awful), swore at the bogus dimensions of Yankee Stadium (314 feet my ass), and generally looked as though he was about to scale the outside of the Empire State Building and swat away at fighter planes.

David Eckstein can make poor decisions with scrappy heart: Little X didn't win us over with his dopey decision to try for the most arduous route to a double play rather than just tagging out Giambi and keeping the double play in order. He did make a nice play up the middle earlier, for whatever that's worth.

Up next: A.J. versus Mike Mussina, who we still hate from the 1993 All Star Game when he got up in the bullpen to embarass Cito Gaston. Yeah, we can carry a grudge for 15 years.

Position Battle Royale! Catchers edition!

Most of the Blue Jays media types have already figured that the roster is set for 2008, and there's not much more to figure out before the real games start.

We beg to differ. As the saying goes, there many a slip between a cup and a lip, and if you don't believe us, you should see the front of Parkes' shirt after a night at the Monarch. (Zing!)

As such, we're going to go around the diamond to provide you with exactly the sort of fraudulent guesswork fabricated analysis profound insight that you've come to expect from this blog.

First up: the back catcher.

Dramatis Personae:

• Gregg Zaun as the Scandalized Incumbent;
  
• Rod Barajas as the Boy Who Played Hard to Get;
  
• Curtis Thigpen as the Catcher of the Future;
  
• Robinson Diaz as the Rookie;
  
• and featuring Special Guest Star Sal Fasano as Fu Manchu.

With the moves last week to send Thigpen and Diaz to the minors to start the season, the Jays will start the season with Zaun as the top receiver and Barajas as the backup. Still, it's a long season, and our bet is that with injuries and performance, we'll see some movement amongst the ranks.

Zaun got off to a quiet spring (standard caveat: fake games don't mean diddly), but has turned it on as of late. His homer and double versus the Clevelanders showed that the old man with the undertaker's sense of style and apparently no teeth might still have something left in the tank. But he's still 36, an age by which most catchers have already begun to decline.

(We pause now to consider about a dozen "blank cheque" jokes, but choose to defer. For now.)

Barajas has acquitted himself well in the spring, and is working on getting familiar with the pitching staff, notably Halladay. At the plate, he has performed at least as well as Zaun for most of the spring, and is (knock on wood) the first backup in years that the team has had coming out of the spring who could plausibly take over for an extended period without hurting the team offensively.

(We pause now to shudder at the remembrances of the Jason Phillips era.)

With the signing of Barajas, it was pretty much a done deal that Thigpen and Diaz wouldn't see much big league action this year. And it's just as well: Thigpen is versatile, but our guess is that he doesn't have the defensive skills that the others do, and his offense isn't good enough to get him out from behind the plate.

Diaz, who we believe has a better bat and glove, has likely sprung past Thigpen in the pecking order. It was odd to see him get playing time at third base in the spring, but that's what fake games are for. Or so we are told.

(Yet another pause. This time to consider the fact Kevin Cash, who previously played the role of Catcher of the Future, has a spot on the Red Sox roster. Bully for him.)

Much as one can admire the hirsute Fasano, he's really just another body in camp at this point. Let's not forget that the adjustments that he suggested to Roy Halladay's cutter grip last year (for which he received effusive praise in the press) were abandoned shortly thereafter. He's a wise old soul, but more than likely a backup in Syracuse at best.

How will it all shake down?
What are we, Nostradamus? Your guess is as good as ours. But if you wanna know what we're guessing (if only so that you can hold us up for ridicule later), here it is:

• Zaunie gets lots of leeway to right himself.
• Barajas starts in more than 90 games this year (in Toronto or elsewhere).
• Thigpen doesn't wear a Jays jersey until after September.
• Diaz gets the call, but spends more time on the big club perfecting his sunflower seed expectoration.
• Fasano gets to make the faithful in another city his pals.
  

Your thoughts? As Jamie Campbell cuts and pastes into all of his blog entries, we welcome your opinion in the comments.

Making sense of TUEs in the era of suspicion

Jeremy Sandler had a story in Monday's National Post on Jays pitching prospect David Purcey, who was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder in the off-season, and is now on medication to treat the condition. While the medication that he is using isn't explicitly stated, it is likely something along the lines of Adderall or Ritalin. These medications are both psychostimulants, and require a Therapeutic Use Exemption (TUE) from the Commissioner's Office.

Purcey is not alone amongst Major Leaguers in being diagnosed with an attention deficit disorder. Since MLB expressly banned the use of amphetamines in 2006, the number of TUE's for ADD and ADHD medications grew from 28 to 103 in one season. This represents roughly 8% of players, which is about twice the rate in the general population.

Gary R. Gaffney, is an Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Iowa wrote on the use of TUE's by baseball players on his Huffington Post blog. He noted that we shouldn't be concerned about the spike in the number of players receiving this exemption:

"Eight percent of MLB players treated for ADHD does not set off alarm bells in my book. The increase could be due to a better understanding of the rule, and to a higher number of players seeking a deserved TUE.

If the physicians prescribing the medications make accurate diagnosis, and provide a reasonable dose of medication, this does not represent a way to 'cheat within the rules'."

We know of people who live in the U.S. and who have gone "doctor shopping" in order to get prescriptions for Adderall. They say that the medication allows them to work with surgical focus on the tasks in front of them. From the way they describe it, we couldn't imagine a medication that would be more appropriate for a big league pitcher. (For instance, Derek Lowe is among those with a TUE that allows him to take Adderall.)

We realize that we're entering delicate territory, so we're going to tread as lightly as possible. We'll confess to sitting on this post for a few days, simply because we didn't want to post something reactionary and cast aspersions at Purcey. We realize that it is at least as likely as not that Purcey's disgnosis is legit and that we'd be a terrible person for even raising the issue.

But in an era where suspicion is out default setting, it's hard for us to invest in the story of Purcey as the guy who is overcoming his personal obstacles. We want to buy in, and we don't want to go down the road of making allegations.

Maybe we're wussing out. Maybe we're playing favorites with the home town player. Or maybe we're not so bold as to pretend that we know what we're talking about. We want to love this guy, but we don't have the luxury of shutting out the little voice that will say "hmmm" if Purcey turns it on this year, for whatever reason.

Along the same lines
We've just noticed this profile of Gregg Zaun by ESPN's Jeff Pearlman. (He's not our favorite writer at all, but it is apropos.)

Sal's a pal and all, but...

...do we really want him as an everyday catcher when (not if) Zaunie goes down for a few weeks?

We've become increasingly fixated on Miguel Olivo, the free agent former Marlins catcher who swings and misses like nobody's business (.262 OBP, 123 Ks versus 12 walks in 122 games), but also has some pop (16 HRs, 60 RsBI) and can catch and throw.

Maybe Olivo isn't the linchpin to winning the division, but we clearly remember the weeks on end of watching Jason Phillips as the starting catcher, and we don't care to relive it.

Mitchell Redux: Join us...

...as we head over to the punch bowl, and ladle out a tasty cup of Who Gives a Fuck.

In essence, the Mitchell Report boils down to the squealings of one scumbag batboy who got caught out. Without the testimony of Mr. Radomski and his immaculately maintained shoebox of receipts and personal cheques, Mitchell's weighty tome would amount to sweet FA.

Take Zaunie, for instance. Sure, there's his cheque for $500 (which is a drop in the bucket compared to the thousands that other ballplayers seemed to be shelling out.) But the corroboration of the evidence is a conversation that Tony Muser remembers having with Zaun six years ago, where he seemed to be defensive. Whoop-dee-freaking-doo.

Zaun now gets to spend the rest of his career known as a juicer, even if it is with evidence that wouldn't stand up in court. Same with Troy Glaus.

To list off the few dozen players on whom they had these small strands of evidence is ridiculous. It inflates the sins of a few, and exonerates the great multitude who managed not to get their names smeared.

And really, how many ways do we want to split this hair? Would we want to go back and see how many MLBers were using creatine, or protein powders, or ephedra, or andro? Or greenies?

All that the Mitchell Report has done is heap scorn on former MLB Commissioners (the Peter Uberroth section seems particularly egregious to us) and the Players' Association while letting the current administration get off scott free. Bullshit.

Moreover, the Report hasn't put this "problem" to bed so much as it has opened the door for further inspection, as though legislators don't have better things to do than stick their nose into the private affairs of adults who may have made unhealthy choices to advance their careers.

For that matter, we wouldn't encourage all the little kiddies to follow our lead and ingest the vast quantities of caffeine and nicotine that we have just to help us improve our writing efficiency this morning. You hear that kids?

Meanwhile, Rodney Harrison and Shawn Merriman will play to packed houses and applause this weekend.

This whole thing is such a crock of shit.

Fifty-eight minutes until the Mitchell Report is released

And then we can put all of this ugliness behind us and move on.

Right?

Update, 2:25 pm: Page 179 of the report. Say it ain't so, Zaunie. Say it ain't so.

Another Update, 2:40 pm: We totally missed this article in yesterday's National Post. (Actually, we've missed pretty every article of every National Post for about four years, but that's neither here nor there.)

In the article, Gregg Zaun takes flagrant potshots at the Mitchell Report and Bud Selig, culminating in this:

"I don't know what the report says, but if there's not hard evidence like a failed drug test or somebody got caught purchasing drugs or anything like that, it seems like they're opening themselves up to a whole lot of negative press for really no reason at all. It baffles me. It really does."

Well, it's certainly opened up Zaun for some negative press. And while we love Zaun for his candour and we're probably going to forgive him anyways, we think it was pretty weak for him to come out blasting the report beforehand without being the slightest bit open or sincere about the fact that he had been asked to testify, and with some good reason.

Allegedly.

Yet another Update, 2:51: Also, Howie Clark. For shame.

The Big Hurt brings the noise...but the party's mostly over

Frank Thomas is rolling, marching fiercely towards the century mark in RsBI with another three in tonight's 11-4 throwdown in Baltimore.

We won't get overly pissy about how the Big Hurt's production has picked up after the Jays had slipped out of contention. This is the last week of the season, and we're feeling a little more charitable these days. (Although this late season surge reminds us of Joe Carter's 1995 season, when he basically sucked all year, then turned it on in the last couple of months to reach the 100 RsBI plateau for, like, the thirtieth straight season or whatever.)

If Frank Thomas is on TBS, where will go to see Road House? The fellas at Drunk Jays Fans picked up the news that the Big Hurt will try to fit his enormous cranium within the frame when he sits in on the TBS postseason coverage. Also, Gregg Zaun will sit in with nerdy ginger Jamie Campbell on the Rogers Sportsnet coverage. Zaun has a unique manner of enunciating, and if last year's experience is anything to go on, we figure we'll be well into the LCS before we see his teeth.

Johnny Mac - Doubles Machine, Defensive Liability: We're tracking tonight's game online, so we can't attest to whether if John McDonald made eight spectacular plays. However, it's definitely strange to see in the boxscore that he hit two doubles (to "deep center" no less!), but that he also made an error. It's like the Bizzarro World John McDonald got penciled into the lineup by mistake.

Dick in a Bag - Your Weekly Dick Griffin Takedown

You know, it's funny. We decided to put off looking at Dick Griffin's Fan-E-Mail Shenanigans ^(TM) for a while, and we felt so much better about the world.

Our heart rate evened out. Our blood pressure returned to somewhere vaguely close to normal. Things were good.

Of course, Dick's mailbag is something that we know have to face eventually, like taxes and changing our bedsheets. You can only put it off so long before the wrong people start to notice.

Anyways, on with the takedown.

Sycophancy rating
This week scores surprisingly low on the butt kissing. There is a rather dull joke about being a "long-time-reader-first-time-writer" from someone in Fredericton (the town the Wit forgot), and another writer invited Dick to imagine himself as the GM. On the whole, there isn't the usual collection of writers exclaiming "I love you Richie!" and "Kiss my taint, Griff!" Maybe there's a Star editor who managed to intervene?

Pompous Pontification
Even if the dittoheads were all busy getting soused on Lakeport, that wasn't going to stop Dicky G from stroking his greazy beard and letting fly with all sorts of self-aggrandizing nonsense.

On Gregg Zaun: Initially, Dick doesn't even answer Gregg Zaun question. (Which begs the question, why even bother with the questions, if this is really just another opportunity for Griffin-bore to wank off publicly?) Instead, he again invokes the signings of Ohka, Zambrano, and Thomson as some sort of stupendously monstrous mistake. This, in spite of the fact that the Jays did pretty much all they could to sign Gil Meche, and Lilly wasn't coming back here at any price. And morover, those signings didn't cripple the team's payroll, and were designed as low-risk, low reward moves.

OK, for real...about Gregg Zaun: When he comes around to it, Dick's whole point is that Zaun wasn't the Jays first choice, but then they screwed it up by not being nicer to Rod Barajas. His point that Zaun's skills might be diminishing is nothing particularly earth-shattering, but his assertion that the master plan for Curtis Thigpen was to turn him into the next Craig Biggio by switching to second is a vast overstatement of the facts. Sure, the Jays tried him out for a couple of games there, but then again, they had Reed Johnson take ground balls at second last year...you can't fault the organization for trying to assess all options.

Uncle Richard, tell us about "real" baseball: Griffin's assertion that the Angels are "cutting edge" for employing small ball gives the Anaheim brain trust way too much credit for what is likely a bit of a fluke. Last year, the Angels struggled to produce any runs, and they addressed this shortcoming by signing noted speedster Shea Hillenbrand. (Oh, and Sarge Junior, sure...because if you're going to enter the post-steroid era, you start with him.) But the truth is, no one foresaw the steep reduction in power that has occurred. A trending back to normal, maybe, but nothing like this.

Five year plans? Griff got no use for 'em. Which is interesting, because neither did J.P., no matter what some douche from Whitby who knows Paul Godfrey's son's college roommate's friend's dealer's ho's kid's kindgarten teacher has heard. It's a figment of your fixated imagination, Dick. Drop it, for the love of God.

The Dave Dombrowski Man-Crush? Do you suppose that Dick had this sort of wood for "Double-D" when he was losing 120+ games as Tigers GM? Dombrowski's Tigers, incidentally, are 2.5 games ahead of the Jays right now. Then again, Dombrowski used to work for the Expos...and hey, did you know that Tricky Dick worked for the Expos too?

Pitching from the stretch? You should probably know what that means if you're a baseball fan. Then again, if you're not a baseball fan, that probably explains why you read Richard Griffin.

"Proven Leader"? Sorry, wasn't this question intended for the Leafs mailbag? We love how the writer drops Dave Winfield's name as an example...I mean, if you're pulling names of great ballplayers out of your ass, why not Roberto Clemente, or Babe Fucking Ruth. Yeah...that's exactly what the Jays need!

Anyways, we're exhausted. Suffice to say, we slogged through, and we learned nothing. Another fine Wednesday, wasted away with the mailbag.