Double misery

We probably spent about five hours yesterday listening to portions of the Jays doubleheader against the Rangers. And somewhere in the middle innings of the second game, we tore the ear buds out, turned off the radio and took the rest of the night off.

We needed to find something more cheerful to do with our life, so we flipped through the PVR and found an episode of Intervention to watch, because observing teenagers destroy their lives before the cameras is really a pick-me-up after that much time spent with the Blue Jays.

We keep telling ourselves that we're going to miss baseball in a month's time, and that we're going to be sad once the season is over. But at this rate, with 75 wins turning into a lofty target, we just want to get to the off season and see this organization make some sort of effort to right itself.

They just need to sort everything out: Sort out the presidency. Sort out the front office. Sort out the on-field staff. Sort out the roster.

Sort all that out, and give us a reason to believe that 2010 isn't going to be a season-long march towards mediocrity.

A second thought or two on September callups
It might have been a bit unfair to rip on yesterday's callups in the manner that we did. We didn't realize that the minor league season had another full week to it, so it is possible that the Jays will eventually find room for a few more bodies on the active roster after this weekend.

Let's hope so.

Also, we should note that we're happy to see Dirk Hayhurst get the call. He pitched well while he was here, even though Cito generally used him only sporadically and in blowouts. We'd like to see him back as a bullpen arm next year. Our frustration comes from seeing the return of the marginal pitching stylings of Brian Wolfe, and the insistence that this team has in believing in magical voodoo of Joe Inglett.

We've grown incredibly tired of Inglett and his spunkiness, and we don't believe as many do that he's some sort of José Oquendo Utility Dude. In our view, Inglett's a second baseman and nothing else. He is more than willing to grab a mitt and play anywhere on the diamond, but he's not suited to play anywhere but second. And we've already got a perfectly capable second sacker.

The Cavalry's a-comin'

Unfortunately, the cavalry is arriving in the form of fresh arms for the rotation instead of hot bats to boost a slumping Jays offense. Oh, there is Voodoo Joe Inglett's lefty swing to replace the suddenly-overwhelmed (and demoted) phenom, Travis Snider....but as much as I like me some Joe Inglett, he's more of a warm blanket than a ball of fire. No offense, Joe. I've got your back.

Yes, it will be fantastic to see Casey Janssen and his funky high socks delivery taking a turn every five days, and we're all hoping that young Ricardo can regain his early season magic (remember, Vegas stats don't count for shit) to help stabilize the rotation.....but as evidenced in the series opener against 1992's World Series losing team, the way the Jays are swinging the sticks, a rotation of five Doc Halladays wouldn't help.

(The above statement, of course, is just fucking ridiculous, as a rotation of five Roy Halladays could cure cancer before breakfast, let alone win a few goddamned ball games. The Jays would run the gauntlet with default victories from cowardly opponents refusing to take the field if such an absurd reality were to occur. But I digress....)

What we need to hope for, friends of the Tao, is for the Vernon Wells Hatred Advisory System to return to acceptable levels, for the Blissful Gazelle to be just a little less oblivious, for Lyle Overbay to find directions to those outfield gaps he used to frequent so regularly, and for Scott Rolen to continue being Scott Rolen (because I believe in him).

In short, a few fucking hits please. Jesus!

I'm starting to question why we're carrying Johnny Mac
Or Jean-Mac, if you prefer. The truth of the matter is, "starting to question" is an understatement, but when the team is winning, it's hard to quibble with roster make-up. I'll also remind you that it's impossible not to be a fan of John McDonald - in the field, there are none better, and he carries himself like the professional baseball player that he is, and has been for 11 seasons.

But seriously now....if your predominant (only?) tangible asset is sublime defense, but the team's starting shortstop is above average defensively, and thus not a candidate for late-inning replacement....and the title of "clubhouse leader and all around good locker room guy" is already taken by an idiot (his words, not mine) with a penchant for cowboy-ing up (what?)......then what exactly is your role on the club?

Hey Philadelphia, you done with our guy Stairsy yet?

That's what Travis Snider thinks of your small ball

When it comes time to actually take the wrecking ball to the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome in Minneapolis, someone might consider giving Travis Snider a call.

Snider, who a day earlier was asked to square around and bunt over runners in an 8-4 loss to the Clevelanders, crushed two mammoth blasts into the far reaches of the aging stadium, leading the Jays to an 8-6 victory over the Twins. So the moral of the story, once again, is that small ball sucks.

(Take that, Juan Pierre Fan Club!)

When Snider was asked to give himself up to help move Rod Barajas' big slow butt up 90 feet, we turned to the father-in-law and said that we hoped that this is the last time we had to see nonsense like that. And while we mind don't that Magical Baseball Sage Cito Gaston has decided to take a slow route with Snider and make him earn his Major League bona fides, we're pleased as punch that The Great Big Giant Pasty White Hope^TM has already begun to make the case for a spot further up the lineup and a green light at the plate.

Where's Tomo Ohka these days?
As if the Jays didn't have enough worry over the state of their rotation, Jesse Litsch walked off the mound with "tightness" in his elbow. Given what happened with Shaun Marcum after his bout with elbow tightness last year, we're more than a little worried about what the Jays will have to do if Litsch is going to miss significant time.

It begs the question: Is there anything left out there on the scrap heap of starting pitchers? Because off the top of our head, we can't think of anyone who would do much better than just setting up a tee at home plate.

Also, doesn't this lend a bit of credence to Keith Law's notion that Brad Arnsberg, while being a wizard of a pitching coach, is also murder on young arms?

Around the Minors
The Las Vegas 51s' affiliation with the Blue Jays is off to an inauspicious start, with the Triple-A club going 0-4 out of the gate. If you've got trouble with your blood pressure, we don't suggest looking at the team's pitching stats to start the season, because there are some gaudy ERAs after the first series in the thin air of Colorado Springs. For the first time in Tao of Stieb history, allow us to use the following caveat: "The PCL is a hitters league."

On the plus side, 1B Randy Ruiz drove in eight in the first series, with 14 total bases and an OPS of 1.268, while Voodoo Joe Inglett is rocking a 1.000 OPS.

In New Hampshire, the Fisher Cats are off to a 3-2 start, with Springtime hero Brad Emaus driving in eight to start the season.

In Dunedin, the Advanced-A Jays are 1-3 to start. Diminutive reliever Tim Collins - a prospect discovered by J.P. Ricciardi's dad on the fields of Worcester, Mass., has stood out so far, striking out seven batters in four and a third innings while walking none and giving up a single hit.

Thanks to the Ack
While some in the comments figured that the Ack spent too much time in the comments of the Drunk Jays Fans, we tip our cap to our colleague for coming in and holding the fort in an extra long relief outing over the holidays. Great job Ack...now go and put some ice on those blogging fingers, because we'll need you back soon.

The Jays' Dutch/Canadian Treat

Mister Baseball reported it yesterday, and Bastian confirms it via Twitter: The Jays are giving a tryout to Canadian-born Leon Boyd, the side-arming slider machine who closed for the Netherlands in the WBC.

(Actually, Blair confirmed it by tweet first, but since he doesn't follow us, we credit Bastian.)

We were pretty impressed with Boyd's stuff in the Classic, and figured he might actually be worth a look for some Major League team, but then again, we're no scout. As we've stated here before, we have an extreme weakness for relievers with funky deliveries. (Also, we find it hard to resist any song that contains handclaps. That's just us.)

Variable linkage
Various and sundry news and notes from around Blue Jaydom:

Hooray for Faint Praise! Baseball Digest Daily's Andy Spear tells us not to be surprised if "the Blue Jays do better than most people think". Rejoice!

Give us one good reason: Actually, Mop Up Duty provides five good reasons to follow the Jays. Plus, one gratuitous reference to The Wire. It's all in the game, yo.

More lists of lists: I Heart Halos, a blog for the fans of the Angels of one city and another, lists off their Fave 4 all time Blue Jays. We think that they might have a little too much love for Jesse Barfield, but there's no accounting for taste.

JoBau! JoBau! JoBau! The NatPost's John Lott figures that José Bautista (JoBau!) has the inside edge over Joe Inglett for the last spot on the Jays roster. (Nobody tell LJ.) If Bautista (JoBau!) does crack the roster before Inglett, we should pretty much assume that Voodoo Joe's spooky hoodoo will ensure that some bizarre injury befalls someone on the 25-man almost immediately.

Videologically idiotic: Toronto Sports Media posts that Nine More Outs video with the overly precious dudes doing mundane streeters outside the Rogers Centre. We've had the link sent to us twice by its creators and a few more times by readers, and frankly, we have yet to crack even the faintest smile at it. Maybe we're just not the laughing type.

Let's not go there: Eyebleaf ponders Jason Bay in a Jays uni. We're not even going there. Men go crazy at the prospect of those sorts of things, and they go even crazier when they see the results. Let's not forget that at one time, people pondered the same thing about Corey Koskie.

Is the Prime Minister of Defense ready to take his walk in the snow?

There was some interesting back and forth during yesterday's simultaneous live tweet-fests on the possibility that John McDonald could get squeezed out of the picture before the team goes north.

Both Jeff Blair and Jordan Bastian noted that the team is beginning to look at Joe Inglett as a possibility at short, and that the team doesn't think it can carry a bat as weak as Johnny Mac's much longer. When asked if Inglett has the arm to play short (a position he's played only 45 times as a professional and never in the Majors), Blair noted that he believes he does, but also "Most importantly, he has the bat".

Also in the mix, according to Bastian, will be José Bautista.

It's a bit sad to consider this as a possibility, given how much we (as most other Jays bloggers) love seeing McDonald's otherworldly defensive prowess. At the same time, it seems as though he has actually regressed at the plate, and the notion that soon-to-be 34 year-old McDonald is suddenly going to sort it all out and become an adequate hitter is at best wishful thinking. This isn't to say that it is the end of the line for Johnny Mac, but our guess is that it will take an injury or a trade out of town for him to see big league playing time this year.

It's funny, but considering how much we hate all this shite about gritty gamers, and heart and soul guys, and players who get themselves dirty, we've had much more of a soft spot for McDonald then we could have imagined. Then again, we don't think it's an exaggeration to say that he is the single greatest defensive player we've ever seen on the Blue Jays (and yes, that list includes Alomar, O-Dog, and Tony Fernandez.)

George Bell: Still awesome, still wearing his hat like that
Big League Stew caught up with George Bell around the Dominican Republic's WBC camp, where he had stepped out for a butt (and not a purple butt, we should point out). The impromptu interview is short but sweet, and worth the read for anyone who ever emulated his rocking batting stance.

Shortstops à gogo

Stop us if you've heard this one before: The Blue Jays are on the look out for a shortstop this off season.

And how sad is this: The last Blue Jays shortstop to have two consecutive seasons of playing more than 1000 innings (roughly 115 games) at the position was Alex Gonzalez in 2000 and 2001. Since then, a veritable rogues gallery of marginal players have suited up at the position. You've got your Chris Woodwards, and you've got Chris Gomezes, along with a little Mike Bordick here and your occasional Russ Adams there.

There are a handful of names that are being tossed around as possible replacements for the departed and not-so-lamented Scrappy Doo, and we'd be derelict in our duties if we didn't share our thoughts on them. (Right?)

Below are our views on six possible options for the Jays up the middle next year.

1) J.J. Hardy - Our personal pick of the litter, Hardy seems like he's been around forever, even though he's still just 26. He's hit 26 and 24 homers in the past two seasons, with an OPS .821 last season. In spite of numbers like those (which look positively Ruthian when compared against the output of Jays shortstops) , Hardy never seems to get much respect in Milwaukee. Now that the Brewers are set to go with top prospect Alcides Escobar as early as next April, rumours (or is that wishful thinking?) are popping up around the interwebs that he is headed to any number of teams. (Seattle, Twins, Cardinals, Red Sox...everybody's got their eye on Hardy it seems.)

Brewers GM Doug Melvin told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinal that the best offer he's received so far for Hardy is "a No. 5 starter." Might the Jays be able to shake him loose with a set up man or a closer?

2) Rafael Furcal - He was great offensively when he played this year (1.012 OPS in 36 games) after a subpar 2007 season (.687 OPS). He was also brutal in the field in this year's playoffs, and while he gets to a lot of balls, and has a cannon of an arm, his 27 errors in 2006 are a little scary. But Furcal is (and we hate ourselves for saying this) the prototypical lead off man that the Jays could use at the top of their lineup.

He'll command more than $10 million per year on a short contract, and might be worth it if he's willing to take a one or two year deal to burnish his credentials.

3) Orlando Cabrera - Allegedly loves Canada, and is loved by Richard Griffin. Still a good fielder, but his offense last year was awful, and he actually wouldn't really represent any sort of upgrade over Marco Scutaro. (Cabrera: 8 HRs, 57 RsBI and a .705 OPS; Scoots: 7 HRs, 60 RsBI, .697 OPS.)

Cabrera is getting by on reputation at this point, and hasn't had an OPS over .800 since 2003 with the Expos.

4) Khalil Greene - A favorite target of Blair, Greene actually posted a sub-.600 OPS in 105 games last season. Granted, he played in San Diego in the most cavernous of all ballparks, but his home-road splits were actually worse on the road. In 50 games away from PetCo, Greene put up an awful .542 OPS, including a putrid .225 OBP.

Greene is an excellent fielder, but he'd have to revert back to his 2007 production (27 HRs, 97 RsBI) before we'd consider him any sort of an upgrade over what we've got. Which brings us to...

5) What We've Got - The question is: how much do you start to give up from your roster or from your payroll flexibility in order to grab one of these marginal improvements? If Scutaro were to perform up to last year's levels, would the Jays suffer that much? Could Scutaro get the job, with McDonald subbing in as a defensive replacement? Can't we just call these guys our number nine hitters and move on? Isn't there a way that we could make the most of the players on the roster? All questions which bring us to...

6) Aaron Hill - The little birdies with Eckstein faces have apparently stopped circling his head long enough for the Jays to pull him off the 60 day DL this week. And while the conventional wisdom is that the Jays won't want to rush him into a new role while he slowly makes his way back, it's hard to overlook the emergence of Joe Inglett last year.

There weren't many good stories to find with the Jays' offense last year, but Inglett acquited himself well in 344 ABS (.762 OPS, nine steals, 45 runs scored and 39 RsBI). Inglett is a decent second baseman, but lacks the arm to short and has only done so for only 11 innings in the Majors.

Hill played 63 games at short in 2006, making an unseemly 12 errors in that limited time. But his defense has improved significantly at second over the past two seasons, which at least hints at the fact that he could master the other side of the diamond.

And the moral of the story is...
None of this is particularly a ringing endorsement for any of these guys. Then again, maybe we have to adjust our offensive expectations for shortstops. After a decade or so of hard hitting middle infielders, there was only one shortstop in the majors to hit more than 30 homers (Hanley Ramirez, 33), and none who drove in more than 90 RsBI (Jhonny Peralta drove in 89).

(UPDATE: A belated glove tap to the Ghostrunners for inspiring this post.)

After a game like that, the snooze button is your friend

Extra innings can be fun. On a summer afternoon, with the lid open, free baseball is just the ticket.

But on a school night, with myriad projects to work on and a pressing need for sleep, last night's 14 inning, 7-5 loss to the Rangers was a bit of a shit sandwich. After seeing an A.J. Burnett sinking stinkball skitter between Gregg Zaun's wickets in the top of the 14th, we rolled over and told Mrs. Tao to wake us up if they managed to come back.

Unfortunately for us, the only thing that woke us up was the demonic squeal of the alarm clock.

Random thinkings

Gregg Zaun continues to like small ball, breakfast: When the Zaunbie King took second on a barely passed ball in the 12th, we were almost ready to concede that this whole small-ball, tempting fate running the bases like a maniac thing might just be working. Almost.

Joe Inglett is the saviour is a bum: Zaun's baserunning might have meant a little more if Joe Inglett could have done something more (or maybe more to the point, something less) with Franklyn German's splitters in the dirt.

Don't be fooled by Brian Tallet's ERA: Sure, it's sitting at a sweet 2.00, but Tallet's two walks and a hit in two-thirds of an inning was a flaming bag of poo left on Jesse Litsch's doorstep.

Welcome back, Beej!

He gave up a triple to the first batter he faced, and he never looked particularly overpowering, but who gives a flippin' fadoo when B.J. Ryan comes back and nails down the save in a 5-4 extra inning win to seal a series sweep against the Rangers.

It might not mean much, but the looks of excitement on the faces of the Jays as they shook hands after the game was pretty priceless. We saw Roy Halladay crack a smile for the second time in as many days...which is a little creepy, but seems like a good thing.

Also of note: Joe Inglett suddenly turned into Mike Schmidt. How'd that happen?

Please re-embark on the bandwagon in an orderly manner

Thoughts on last night's 8-5 win over the stumbly Rangers:

You know it's a trend when Gregg Zaun steals home: It wasn't your Mondesi-Hill variety straight steal of home for Zaun, but kudos to the veteran for taking advantage of the poor judgement and worse throw by his Texas counterpart, Gerald Laird. Incredibly, with the four bags swiped last night, the Blue Jays lead the Major Leagues in stolen bases with 13, while they have been caught four times. Credit goes to the Jays' coaching staff for forcing the issue with other teams on the basepaths while still being smart about when and how they send runners this year.

Please give it up for your AL RsBI Leader, Vernon Wells: So where are all of those voices questioning Wells' lucrative extension now? With two more driven in last night in his hometown, Vernon shares the league lead with Rays Carlos Pena (who's huge performance last year may not be as much of a mirage as we thought.)

News from the Pink/Round/Efficient File: It is easy to forget that Jesse Litsch just turned 23 last month. Nothing about him seems overwhelming, but you can't argue with his performance. He won his second game of the season last night, striking out five (versus two walks), and made a great play on a Josh Hamilton screamer back through the box in the first.

Good luck, Buck: Our favorite new Blue Jay Buck Coats got the start in left field last night, only to be given the bum's rush down to Syracuse following the game. Not that this is a reason for his demotion, by Coats goofed up defensively last night by allowing David Eckstein to call him off a play that the diminutive scrappy gamer grittily dropped. The Jays recalled Joe Inglett, who is off to a torrid start to the season (1.121 OPS, 17 total bases in 8 games), but who will be hard-pressed to find playing with amongst Little X, Scutaro, and McDonald. We liked how the Jays used Coats as a late inning defensive replacement for Matt Stairs and Shannon Stewart, and we're not sure that we like the idea of either of them patrolling the outfield in a close game.

Finding new favorites: It's hard for us not to like Jesse Carlson. Any relief pitcher with a goofy delivery hits us in our soft spot. Our first favorite baseball player was Kent Tekulve, and all these years later, we can't have a catch with our buddies without tossing at least one with our Mark Eichorn delivery. (Which usually bounces up to their feet, but we weren't making any claims to our athletic prowess.) Carlson pitched on back-to-back nights, and has held down the fort nicely (no runs, no hits, 2 Ks in 2 innings), unlike...

John Gibbons' mancrush, Brian Wolfe: Wolfe made his fifth appearance of the season, and gave up a home run to Josh Hamilton that may still be traveling through Oklahoma at this point.

The kids get sent down

It's hardly a surprise that these guys are being reassigned to Syracuse, but the timing of the Jays sending down five guys who had at least remote chances of making the big club caught us off guard. We suppose this means that Gibby is going to take the next two weeks to work on setting up his regular lineup.

Blog favorites Robinson Diaz, Adam Lind and the otherworldly Buck Coats have all been handed the for rent section of the Syracuse Post-Standard and sent on their way. Also optioned: Joe Inglett and Curtis Thigpen. Who, if we're being completely honest, are not our favorites. Sorry! (Wow. We've been watching way too much American Idol for our own good.)

Emotional yo-yoing on the pitching staff
When Casey Janssen went down, we were all cool-like, stating that we weren't worried at all. The Jays were totally set as far as their pitching staff is concerned, right? But seeing Shaun Marcum get his "ears pinned back" (as Wilner so eloquently put it) in yesterday's loss to Cleveland reminds us that the number four and five slots in the rotation are hardly in a set-it-and-forget-it state. We were also a bit discouraged by putative bullpen saviour John Parrish's performance yesterday (3 hits, 2 walks, 2 earned in 2.1 innings). Yeah, we got worries.

Blair sings O Canada
Not-at-all grumpy Globester Jeff Blair has a nice piece on Team Canada, who he notes are not scrappy or gritty, but rather, are talented.

Whither Sergio Santos ?

Even with the news that utility infielder and slap-hitter Ray Olmedo was banished to Pittsburgh last week, the Blue Jays have a veritable mess o' infielders on the 40-man roster. Somewhat lost in the shuffle amongst all these marginal major leaguers is Sergio Santos.

Santos, who came to the Jays in the Troy Glaus trade two winters ago, acquitted himself well in this year's Arizona Fall League (5 HRs, 20 RsBI, .922 OPS in 24 games for Scottsdale). He subsequently played winter ball in the Mexican Pacific League for the Yaquis de Obregon. Santos told Baseball America (registration required...sorry) that he wanted to play in Mexico to see tougher pitching, to work on his footwork at third and to improve his Spanish (no, really). Unfortunately, he was limited to just 14 games and was off the roster by the time the playoffs came.

Santos will turn 25 this July, and is on the cusp of becoming a "former prospect", if he isn't there already. He's dropped off of most publications' lists of top Blue Jays prospects, and he didn't handle the jump to Syracuse especially well this year. With Marco Scutaro, Russ Adams and Joe Inglett muddying up the Jays' infield picture, 2008 looks to be Santos' last chance to establish himself.