A storybook weekend

We'll confess to be a little overly obsessed with "the narrative": The ongoing story of the Blue Jays, which is written page by chapter by volume as every game, series, and season goes by.

The narrative, of course, is really only clear in retrospect, and a large part of what we spend our days doing around this blog is an attempt to anticipate or divine what the moment we're immersed in presently is going to mean for us a week or a month or a year onwards. Is this a turning point? Is this the moment we recall where the team's fortunes changed? Is it merely a spectacular moment, or is it something more?

We're not so bold as to assume that we know what this past weekend - and indeed, the entire week of series wins against the Yankees and Rays - really will mean in the grander context, years down the road. Maybe it doesn't need to mean anything at all, and we should all just savour the moment.

But how can you try to be measured and rational after performances like those? We can't remember the last time that we were so giddy from watching our team. From the brilliant Friday start from Brett Cecil, Saturday's otherworldly debut from J.P. Arencibia and Brandon Morrow's nearly perfect Sunday, it felt really great to be a Blue Jays fan this weekend.

You should celebrate the other J.P., too
In the midst of Arencibia's brilliant Saturday, a number of hacks felt the need to make an obvious joke at the expense of the former general manager: "You love this J.P.! You hate that J.P.! Ho ho!"

And yet, as we looked around this weekend, we saw a team whose foundations were laid by J.P. Ricciardi: Arencibia, Snider, Hill, Lind, Cecil, Romero, and Marcum were all drafted by the former GM, while Bautista, Overbay, Downs and Frasor were all acquired by him along the way.

We don't doubt that it was time to move on, and we think that Alex Anthopoulos has done some very smart things which would not have been undertaken by Ricciardi. But as this team starts to turn itself around much more quickly than many imagined, keep in mind that the team and its farm system were left in fairly good stead by the former GM.

A lot can happen in a meaningless game

Maybe it will make us look as tone deaf and overly earnest as a Rattle and Hum era Bono, but we wore out the floorboards, pacing through last night's thriller of an 8-7 win over the Red Sox.

Yeah, yeah. We should have perfected our disaffected pose by now, and we should have signed off on the season long ago. But when you check out and declare that you've given up on the team, you might just miss something special.

Like a troika of homers from Adam Lind. And José Bautista still killing it. And Kevin Millar turning a 6-5-3 double play. And six total homers for the good guys. And the bullpen handing back the lead. And Jonathan Papelbon reconfirming what an unmitigated douche he is. ("My bad", my ass!) And the Sausage King locking down the win and getting Kevin Youkilis on a called third strike that umpires would usually give to any Sox player in Fenway.

Some people get too wrapped up in whether if the game they are watching is "meaningful". (Ultimately, aren't they all kinda meaningless?)

But the great thing about baseball is that every day, there's a new game. It's always something new, and it's the greatest game there is. That might not mean anything to you, but it means something to us.

The Crux of our Tweets
We've been getting exceedingly argumentative over on the Twitter lately. Not sure what's up with that. But suddenly, we find ourselves unable to avoid engaging in verbal parries and thrusts, 140 characters at a time.

Here's the gist of what we were bitching about last night:

• We like José Bautista. Especially as a super sub who's the 24th or 25th guy on the roster. And we don't discount his seven homers and 15 RsBI and .932 OPS just because it's September. With regular playing time, he's gotten better.
• We think Adam Lind deserves some consideration for the MVP. Not ahead of Joe Mauer or anything, but maybe further down the ballot. But with his offensive explosion last night, Lind's offensive numbers are on par with Kendry Morales, who's been third or fourth on our ballot for the past few months.
• You don't hit a guy just to hit a guy back. Who do you think you are? Gary Roberts or some other jerk-off fake tough guy? You've got a one-run lead. You gotta protect that. Because moral victories come and go, but actual victories stay in the Win column forever.

If you're interested in watching us go on with this while Polyannaish routine and argue with people for the sake of it, follow us over at twitter.com/taoofstieb.

A One-Sentence Post on...The Happiest Dreams Ever

Last night we fell asleep with the game on, woke up just in time to see Lyle Overbay's eighth inning three-run blast, then rolled over to have the happiest dreams ever about pennants (!!!1) and the postseason (!!!1).

And the hits just keep on coming

So here's the question of the evening (before we retire in a 'Tussin fueled haze of bliss): At what point do we turn the page on the conventional wisdom that the Jays would have a lousy offense this season?

That question occurred to us as we were watching homer after homer leave the yard in yet another ring-a-ding-dinger fest. We get that these are still early days, and that there's another 25 weeks left in the season. But with the Jays pounding out four homers and twelve runs in a 12-2 rout of the Twins, we're wondering if anyone other than us is noticing.

Because, really, any man, woman or child that fails to recognize the awesome power of this immaculately managed offensive juggernaut runs the risk of running themselves into a big-time Voodoo Whammy(!) that is sure to leave a mark.

Tomorrow morning on the blog
Hopefully we'll be a little less shakey, feverish and medicated (damned Venezuelan Mamba Flu!). Also, a thought on Jackie Robinson Day, and irrational early concerns over a certain offensive linchpin.

Serving notice

Last night's 14-3 pummeling of the Yankees was almost too much joy for one night. We laughed, we cried, we gave ourselves a shaving cream pie in the face halfway through. It was a thing of beauty.

And with this being the second time this week that they Jays ended a series against the Axis of AL East Evil with an exclamation mark, we hope that someone recognizes that this team is finally on the upswing. Scratch that: we hope that the Yanks and Sox underestimate the Jays in every series for the rest of the year.

Fun stat of the day
Roy Halladay has not lost a game against the Yankees in Toronto since Opening Day 2003.

John McDonald is the Greatest Offensive Shortstop of Our Era
Right? If nothing else, he has four doubles and five RsBI in his last ten games, hitting .297 with a respectable (for him) .721 OPS. As much as we know that you can't expect a 34 year-old journeyman infielder to become something more than he is, we still think that if he gets regular playing time and sees big league pitchers every day, Johnnie Mac can put numbers up that will be respectable enough to keep him in the lineup, and keep his glove out in the field.

Was that meaningful for you?

Because fuckit dude, we've got wood after that win.

Yeah, we know that the playoffs are still a long shot, but that's what makes this next stretch of the season fun: Every game is going to at least feel like it matters. And did you see the reaction of the players after tonight's game? Hell, the Jays fans were outcheering the Yankees fans at the Dome tonight!

Now let's move to the Roll Call...
A.J. Burnett: Wicked awesome. Has he pitched a game as a Blue Jay better than tonight's?
Adam Lind: More awesome than awesome. We can believe how often we're referring to him.
Lyle Overbay: A gritty awesome gamer with the glove. That was an amazing game saver in the ninth.
Johnny Damon: No longer an option in centerfield. But thanks to Joe Girardi for putting him out there tonight.
J.P. Arencibia: Drove in his 100th RBI of the season tonight. At least someone in the Jays system is going to reach that milestone.

Kablammo! The Editor-in-Chief checks in on the weekend

We got word from the Weekend Editor that he was coming down hard after a two-day compressed air huffing binge, so we figured we'd better set our judgments aside and open up the shop ourselves today.

Also, it's kinda hard to commit ourselves to family and relaxation when we're gleefully bouncing off the walls at the 15-4 bitchslapping that the Jays just laid upon the Beantowners.

Yah chowdah heads! Why don't you take those 15 runs and shove them up Sweet Caroline's pooper?! (Sorry about that. We're not exactly gracious in victory. Clearly, it comes from lack of experience in that particular area.)

A sweep is a sweep is sweep
Just in case you are wondering: Two wins in a shortened two-game series still constitutes a sweep in our mind. SWEEEEP, BoSox biotches!! And (excuse the Portuondo moment here): How sweeeeeep it is!

And while we should heed the perpetual admonitions of the Drunk Jays Fans to simmer down, we're buzzing a little on the idea that the Jays chopped down their deficit in the Wild Card race to seven games. What a bunch of teases these Jays are.

Don't look now, but Adam Lind is making up for lost and squandered time
It's hardly Lind's fault that he wasn't given the ABs earlier in the season, but he's certainly doing quite a job of catching up to the rest of the lineup in terms of counting stats. With his eighth homer this afternoon, he sits just three behind team leader Matt Stairs, and his four RsBI today put Lind at 34 for the season, which is within sniffing distance to Scott Rolen (38) Rod Barajas (40), Matt Stairs (41) and Marco Scutaro (42) in a fraction of the at bats.

We desperately want to see Lind take over the home run lead before the season's up. And it's not that we want to take delight in seeing a dubious player personnel decision proven wrong, but more a matter of wanting to find a reason for hope in 2009.

Roy Halladay: Still awesomely awesome
We say something along these lines every time Roy Halladay takes the mound, but Saturday night's complete game 4-1 win was yet another marvel. That's EIGHT COMPLETE GAMES on the season, more than the entire staffs of 27 other MLB teams. Only Cleveland (9) and Milwaukee (8) have as many complete games as the Good Doctor.

We're not sure if we actually appreciate on a day-to-day basis just how Halladay has moved to a whole other level in 2008. And were it not for the short-sightedness of Baseball Writers Association of America, who generally stop their examination into who deserves they Cy Young votes approximately a half a nanosecond after reviewing leader in the "wins" column, we might be able to have a really interesting debate on the relative merits of Halladay's season versus that of Cliff Lee. More on that in the coming days.

Jesse Litsch is a pink, round and efficient giant killer

First he took on Joba (well, in our mind he did), then Jesse Litsch took down Edinson Volquez with a masterful eight inning, three hit, one run performance (and with a little help from his reinvigorated pull-happy friends in tonight's 7-1 win over the Reds.)

(And bless you, Joanna, for coining that description of Litsch, which never gets old.)

Speaking of Jesse's pink roundness
On the radiocast this evening, both Tom and Alan kept giving Jesse these backhanded compliments about his defense, especially after a couple of nice plays in the middle innings. The funny thing about their compliments was that they were all couched in terms of: "You wouldn't think it to look at him, but Litsch is a really good fielder", or "You might not get that impression from looking at him, but Litsch has cat-like reflexes." You could almost sense that they were holding back, and that they really wanted to come out and say: "Jesse looks like Barbapapa, but he can still field like a Gold Glover."


Is it too soon into this "hot streak" to point out...
That Scott Rolen is the Greatest Blue Jay of All Time^TM? Because after watching him catch up on the basepaths with Stone Cold Matt Stairs after swatting his third homer in four games, we had no other choice but to shout this from the rooftops. (The pigeons seemed non-plussed, but we don't care to hear their 6 am rutting sessions outside our bedroom window either, so we guess that evens it all out.)

Don't hurry back Scrappy Doo

Take your time. Your grittiness is not needed at the moment. Not when Marco Scutaro is driving in four two-out RsBI in a 7-1 win over the Royals.

We'll confess that we were only able to smuggle highlight footage into the battlefield, but as long as that footage features lots of Blue Jays runs, we feel confident in stating one thing about the team's performance:

PLAYOFFS!!!!

Also, Aaron Hill is so defensively awesome that it makes us completely forget that other second baseman that the Jays used to have that was good with the glove.

High Five! We're back to .500!

We hope all you junior hockey fans are happy that we ended up missing a great game yesterday.

Overbay homers? Doc makes his first relief appearance since 2001? Jays win 6-5 and return to .500? Who'd want to watch that?

(And while we're on the topic: any chance that people could dial back the "the veterans of Canada's wars fought for our freedom, therefore we will have a hockey tournament in their honour" jive? Because, really, it is a hockey tournament sponsored by a credit card company, not a quiet moment at the cenotaph.)

It is probably too early to think in these terms, but the Blue Jays are four games behind Boston in the AL East, and three games behind Tampa for the Wild Card. So all is not lost.

Bizzarro stat of the year so far
The Blue Jays are 13-22 in night games, but they are 10-1 in day games. If you can figure that one out for us, by all means let us know why.

Win! Woohoo! Break out the party hats! PLAYOFFS!

Jays win. Fuck yeah.

Now if you'll excuse us, we're going to put down this drink of sorrow, and pick up a drink of joy.

Mmm. Tasty.

Now that's an ass-whuppin'

Thoughts on last night's 11-3 annihilation of the Orioles:

Signs that it is time to give up baseball and pick up a nice hobby: Listening to the radiocast, Jerry and Alan went on at length about the difference in speeds between Steve Trachsel's fastball (which was hitting around 82-84 MPH) and his changeup (which was hovering around 77-80 MPH). It was right about this time that Traschsel mixed in a curve to Aaron Hill, and boom went the dynamite, a three-run blast. We're thinking Trachsel should probably take his deliberate pitching routine, pack it up in a duffel bag and head out on a cruise to Tahiti, where he can put people to sleep with his shuffleboard skills.

Was that really necessary? We get that Marty Pevey is supposed to be more aggressive as the third base coach, but did he really need to send Gregg Zaun on what was going to be a close play at the plate and the Jays up 10-3? It might have been bad form, although we'd like to think that Pevey wasn't thinking about the Orioles' feelings on the play. It might have just been a matter of Pevey seeing the play and reacting to it. Or maybe Zaunie had to get to the dugout to write a blog post. In any case, we're not opposed to watching our guys run up the score.

Oh, and Shaun Marcum rocks: Marcum gave up a couple of big flies, but was rock steady for the rest of the night (6.2 IP, 4 hits, 2 runs). We'll confess that the one guy in the rotation that we were apprehensive about in this off season was Marcum, as we weren't sure that he'd be able to replicate last year's exceptional performance. However, watching the ease of Marcum's delivery and the way that he stays calm on the mound, we're really coming to appreciate anew the gem that we've got in this guy. If that's our fourth starter, we can deal.

Frank Thomas is sleepy: Frank Thomas drove in just one run since leaving the friendly confines of the Rogers SkyDome. While he did get hits in all three games of the Baltimore series, his average has slipped below the Mendoza line. So let's not get overly excited about him having a better start to this season quite yet.

Apparitions: We were caught off guard last night by seeing Guillermo Quiroz, the Ghost of Catchers of the Future, er, Past. And just as we were snapping our head around to see Alex Rios' old running mate, dude waved at a ball that slipped past him like he was a matador. Nice to see you again, Q.

Please re-embark on the bandwagon in an orderly manner

Thoughts on last night's 8-5 win over the stumbly Rangers:

You know it's a trend when Gregg Zaun steals home: It wasn't your Mondesi-Hill variety straight steal of home for Zaun, but kudos to the veteran for taking advantage of the poor judgement and worse throw by his Texas counterpart, Gerald Laird. Incredibly, with the four bags swiped last night, the Blue Jays lead the Major Leagues in stolen bases with 13, while they have been caught four times. Credit goes to the Jays' coaching staff for forcing the issue with other teams on the basepaths while still being smart about when and how they send runners this year.

Please give it up for your AL RsBI Leader, Vernon Wells: So where are all of those voices questioning Wells' lucrative extension now? With two more driven in last night in his hometown, Vernon shares the league lead with Rays Carlos Pena (who's huge performance last year may not be as much of a mirage as we thought.)

News from the Pink/Round/Efficient File: It is easy to forget that Jesse Litsch just turned 23 last month. Nothing about him seems overwhelming, but you can't argue with his performance. He won his second game of the season last night, striking out five (versus two walks), and made a great play on a Josh Hamilton screamer back through the box in the first.

Good luck, Buck: Our favorite new Blue Jay Buck Coats got the start in left field last night, only to be given the bum's rush down to Syracuse following the game. Not that this is a reason for his demotion, by Coats goofed up defensively last night by allowing David Eckstein to call him off a play that the diminutive scrappy gamer grittily dropped. The Jays recalled Joe Inglett, who is off to a torrid start to the season (1.121 OPS, 17 total bases in 8 games), but who will be hard-pressed to find playing with amongst Little X, Scutaro, and McDonald. We liked how the Jays used Coats as a late inning defensive replacement for Matt Stairs and Shannon Stewart, and we're not sure that we like the idea of either of them patrolling the outfield in a close game.

Finding new favorites: It's hard for us not to like Jesse Carlson. Any relief pitcher with a goofy delivery hits us in our soft spot. Our first favorite baseball player was Kent Tekulve, and all these years later, we can't have a catch with our buddies without tossing at least one with our Mark Eichorn delivery. (Which usually bounces up to their feet, but we weren't making any claims to our athletic prowess.) Carlson pitched on back-to-back nights, and has held down the fort nicely (no runs, no hits, 2 Ks in 2 innings), unlike...

John Gibbons' mancrush, Brian Wolfe: Wolfe made his fifth appearance of the season, and gave up a home run to Josh Hamilton that may still be traveling through Oklahoma at this point.

The dizzying heights

Wow. So this is what five games over .500 feels like.

Soothsayers soothsaying: Back in July, we participated in a bloggers' roundtable over at Jays Nest, where we predicted that the Jays would end up with a record of 84-78 when it all played out. With today's 5-3 win over the Rays of Sunny Goodness, the Jays need only to win tomorrow to prove us right. (Otherwise, it will be the Drunks, who predicted 83 wins, who will look like the clairvoyants.)

Reed who? We still figure that John-Ford Griffin will be a cog in someone else's system next year, but seeing both he and Adam Lind tag a couple of balls today had us wondering whether Reed Johnson really has what it takes to stick in this lineup next year. (Especially since he runs like a girl.)

Stop dragging my heart around

If the past two games had us yelling at the TV screen and pulling our hair out, can you imagine what they would have been like if the Jays were playing for something more than pride?

Last night's 5-4 14 inning marathon sent us into conniption fits, especially when Aaron Hill flubbed the ninth inning game that would have sealed the deal.

In today's 12-11 extra inning loss to the Yanks, it was Matt Stairs getting called out on a close play at the plate that sent us into hysterics. We're actually pretty sure that he was out, but our fandom and wishful thinking had us convinced that he beat the tag.

We can only imagine how physically ill we'd be right now if this team were on the brink of a playoff spot and lost like that.

Wouldn't that be awesome?

The Return of the Gas Can: The Jays did a good job of hiding away the Gas Can for sixteen days, but Josh Towers managed to get out of the bullpen, see his shadow, give up the winning run, and then scamper back to the security of the clubhouse, where he can tell himself what an amazing control pitcher he is, and what a chump Tony Pena is.

Three more to the sick bay: We're wondering just who the hell the Jays are going to run out there in the final week, given that Shaun Marcum, Frank Thomas and Scott Downs all left the game with injuries today. We guess we're going to have to get used to the John-Ford Griffins and Joe Ingletts of the world for the next couple of series.

Walk off madness!

You know, some nights, we're watching the highlights, and we see the Nationals or the Pirates win in a walk-off, and we think: "Good for their fans...they could use a little joy in their otherwise miserable existence."

Tonight, someone's thinking that of us. (Please stop us before we start singing "Somewhere Out There" from An American Tail.)

You know what? We'll take a win like tonight's 2-1 win over the Bronx Bombers any time. It's a walk off win over the Yankees. It brings us back to .500. And it snaps a five game losing streak.

Speaking of .500
A.J. Burnett has pitched his ass off since coming off the DL. A.J. has gone at least seven innings in all but one start since returning (and he pitched into the seventh that night), and for all of his trouble, he's still 8-7 on the season. Meaning that corpulent turds like the marble-mouthed Jim Kelley on Sportsnet can continue to refer to him as a ".500 pitcher".

Of course, the fact that A.J. dropped his ERA to 3.42 will be likely be lost on an arrogant fart like Kelley.

Sweep!

With Sunday's 6-4 win over Seattle, the Jays moved four games over .500 for the first time this season.

Now that they've gotten over that hump, could a bit of a winning streak be far behind? It would likely be too late to really make any September noise, but it would at least make us feel a little better for next year.

Gregg Zaun, masher
Two homers in two days. Zaun rules. Now please give him a day off.

A study in contrasts
As we zipped through yesterday's game on the PVR, we noticed the stark difference between Matt Stairs (hitting one into orbit for his 18th homer of the season) and Reed Johnson (waving weakly at strike three in his only at bat). One has to wonder how you can keep running Reed out there if he is either not healthy enough to perform, or if his top level of performance is this low. His .302 OBP is killing this team at the top of the lineup.

At last, our long national nightmare is over
After going stale for 12 days, Jeff Blair finally dropped some lineup card related knowledge on the Globe's baseball blog. Its about time.

Were we dreaming?

Or did the Jays hang a crooked number up in the 12th late last night?

This is the sort of game that the Jays have been losing this year, so imagine our joy when we woke up at 3:45 AM (with the TV still on Sportsnet), and found that the Jays had rallied in extra innings for a 6-2 win over the A's.

Of course, we don't really know what happened, since we had already embarked on the jet train to Sleepy Town at that point. But it seeped into our sub conscience, and we felt good about it.

Equal Time for Commenters
Cheers to the Great Lakes Knuckleballer (CEO of the Fire Gibbons blog) for his spirited defense of Johnny Mac in the comments yesterday. It's worth a read.

Of Doubles and Ws

The Jays went nutty-cuckoo with the doubles tonight, racking up nine off Yankees pitching en route to a 15-4 laugher. We have to admit that we were thoroughly impressed with the Jays' approach tonight, driving the ball gap-to-gap and keeping the line moving with patience and smart hitting. (It's enough to make us tear up, just a little.)

Once again, let us praise Frank Thomas
Thomas went three for five with three RsBI, two doubles and a run scored. The three driven in bring his total in that category to 14 in the six games since he sat in Tampa. Moreover, Thomas has now taken over the team lead from Alex Rios, a feat that would have seemed unlikely a week ago.

Once again, let us mourn Troy Glaus
Though he walked and scored twice, Glaus still looks lost at the plate. He struck out twice, and has not driven in a run since July 30. Since his two homer game on July 16 versus the Yankees, Glaus has seen his OPS sink from .952 to .805.

And really, is there anything Matt Stairs can't do?
Matt Stairs hit leadoff tonight, rocking not only the house, but also the boulevard. His two doubles off Chien-Ming Wang set the tone for the evening, and helped chase the starter in the third inning.

Next up
Three against the Royals. And before we get excited, let's remember what the Jays do against the punching bags of the AL, especially right after they knock the stuffing out of a contender. We don't want to be negative...We're just sayin'.

That's what we call an ass-whuppin'

We were doing our little happy dance in our office this afternoon, and it wasn't just because we watched the Jays (as best as you can on GameDay) tie a team record with 11 runs in the 6th en route to a 13-1 ass-smacking of the Twins.

It also had to do with seeing these two magical records show up in a Jays boxscore for the second time this week: CS. (It looks a bit like this: "CS - N Punto (5, 2nd base by J Litsch/G Zaun"...*sniff*Excuse us, but we're getting a be verklempt.)

Zaun had a monster of a game, going 3-4 with a double and a homer, 3 runs scored and 4 RsBI.

A quick question: Does 11 still count as a "crooked number"?

Millson gets his blog on: Larry Millson, who retired from the Globe and Mail after last season, seems to back in the saddle for a few days while Jeff Blair follows Barry Bonds around the continent. Larry's a fine baseball writer, and it is nice to see him posting on the Globe's Baseball Blog, as he did today.