We all saw this coming when you signed on for five years, back at the Winter Meetings in '05. But those worries are for another time, we figured. We're building a winner here!
In 2006, you won our hearts by fucking nailing it in your first season as a Jay. 38 saves? 1.37 ERA? 10.7 K/9? Slipknot and terrifying fist pumps? Sign me up for four more years of that, dude. YES.
Very early on in 2007, we knew something wasn't right. Your back hurt, we were told, and your pitching suffered. Alas, the sore back magically morphed into full blown Tommy John surgery (familiar with the term, everyone?), so under the knife you went. "Better to happen now", we all said, "We have three more years on this deal."
In 2008, you took back the closer role (thanks for holding it down, Acorn), and though it didn't appear your stuff was all the way back, you gutted out 32 saves for the team. "That's OK", we all thought, "Everyone knows it takes two seasons after TJ to get it there."
Enter Spring training 2009. Fastballs in the low 80's. A slider that didn't want to slide. "Uh, he'll come around, right? He's a veteran, he knows how to get ready for the season." But it didn't come around. Not even close. "Oh, shit."
So now whatta we do? A closer who can't close, still on the books for this season and next at $10 million per, reduced to mop-up duty. Only the mop must have been saturated, because even that wasn't working. "Oh, shit."
I wish you well, B.J. I really do. You seem like a proud guy, and your struggles today surely aren't for lack of effort. Someone will pick you up - they always do - on Rogers' dime. Good luck old friend.