Monday, July 27, 2009

A Service to the Toronto Sports Media: What Scott Rolen Would Have Said

We don't rely on the answers of athletes to fill up the content hole here at our blog, although we do sometimes rely on the quotes gleaned by the media corps to react and reflect on the current state of the Jays and particular players. So we should probably be a little more sympathetic to the plight of the members of the accredited media with all-important access to those players when they get the cold shoulder.

But the thing is, we hate when the members of the media turn a declined interview into some sort of indication that there is something amiss with the player, and that he is clearly some sort of malingerer for not (pardon the pun) playing ball with them.

Apparently, Scott Rolen, the Greatest Blue Jay of All Time, rebuffed an advance from one media member or another for an interview this weekend. In all likelihood, he knew the question that was coming and didn't feel like answering it, so he declined.

The question that without a doubt was going to be asked of Rolen was: "With the trade deadline approaching and rumours that the Jays may look to deal players on this roster - including you - is that a distraction for you? How do you deal with those rumours?"

Since Rolen declined to answer, I know that the entirety of the Toronto Sports Media Cabal are being driven crazy by the lack of certainty caused by this vacuum. Remember, folks, that it has been at least a couple of weeks since any of them have had their latest Brian Burke fix, and the current Roy Halladay Saga has served only as a weak and temporary methadone. Once Burkie comes back from vacation and starts talking shit about other GMs or lets loose with a particularly odorous fart that vaguely sounds like "Kaberle", then most of this attention will be diverted, and the teeming masses will be satiated.

So as a service to those poor folks, and so that Steve Simmons doesn't lose any more hair over this, we will provide you with precisely the answer that Scott Rolen would have given on camera and to any mics that were within the area.

"You know, that's not really something you can think about. You've just gotta go out there and focus on the game. That's all you can do. If something happens, it happens. But I've really just got to focus on the task at hand, and go out there and do everything I can to help us win games."

We know this is more or less what would have been said because we've heard this answer to this question at least 100,000 times. Moreover, we know that athletes these days rarely if ever let reporters into their heads or their personal thoughts. Because athletes know that if they do happen to say something remotely interesting, the press will beat them with it like a club for the rest of their stay with the team, or the rest of their career, even if it is pretty tepid. (How many times has Roy Halladay's "Groundhog Day" comment been dredged up in the past 12 months? Anyone care to do a Nexis search on that?)

We hope this puts the GTA sports reporters out of their misery for a day or two. And no need to thank us. You're welcome.


DoubleA said...

Decline interviews?!?!?!? - no wonder they boo him in Philly. He's got a SERIOUS attitude problem

stonedog said...

I love how Steve Simmons' complete assessment of Scott Rolen's character can change with one simple interview snub. Not even a snub, really, just a polite decline. Says a lot more about Steve Simmons than Scott Rolen. Doesn't even occur to Simmons what reasons Rolen might have for declining the interview. Yeah, why try to put yourself in the other guy's shoes, even for a moment? Let someone from the 'hated' blogosphere perform that heroic gesture of humanity instead.

JDot said...

I'm saddened to hear people are actually reading Simmons, but then to see what the fuss was about I actually read Simmons' piece. I want those few minutes of my life back. He had the incredible foresight to note that Pujols will get walked fewer times now that Holliday is hitting behind him. That's a lot like saying the Jays will win fewer games without Roy. He's on the cutting edge of sports reporting.

Ian H. said...

Scott Rolen answers reporters questions with his bat. His home run yesterday gave them all the answers they needed.

eyebleaf said...

I never, ever read Simmons. I was at Pizza Pizza late last night, chowing down, and the only paper in that fine dining establishment was The Sun.

So I indulged in some Simmons action.

I was blown away.

Like I wrote over on my blog, the fact that Simmons now dislikes Rolen, makes me like Rolen that much more.

What bothered me most was that quip about no-hitters; that the White Sox can now boast 16 more than the Blue Jays. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?

MK Piatkowski said...

Love this polite f-u to the the media cabal. I'm really tired of how they take things that are said and blow them completely out of proportion and then whine when the players decline to play along.

Nicely played, Tao.

Anonymous said...

Maybe if JP didn't mess up so many times with the media, the players would be more willing to speak up

See, everything can be blamed on JP

Tao of Stieb said...

Occasionally, if I'm bored and I haven't found a reason to tee off on him lately, I'll go read Simmons.

What's great about him is that he provides endless amounts of ammo for us when we decide to turn ourselves in his direction.

We expect that he's the sort of douche who thinks that because tons of hate mail that he's "striking a chord" or "hitting a nerve". When really, he's just being a tubby cheap shot artist with marginal control of his salivary functions when he speaks.

Andrew Gray said...

This is a fucking great post.

Pension Plan Puppets said...

We expect that he's the sort of douche who thinks that because tons of hate mail that he's "striking a chord" or "hitting a nerve". When really, he's just being a tubby cheap shot artist with marginal control of his salivary functions when he speaks.

You just described almost every major writer in Toronto