Wednesday, March 25, 2009

A shocking admission: We heckled Roy Halladay

In a guest column written for the Ghosties, J from 3:10 to Joba equates the heresy of booing Derek Jeter to heckling Roy Halladay. Because it would take a real asshole to do something like that.

In fact, it would take an asshole like us.

It happened while Doc was in the midst of his Road to Redemption (or at least Relevance) Tour of the minor leagues when he stopped by the ballpark of a certain defunct Triple A franchise. We were in attendance, along with at least a couple of dozen other folks on this particular cold and damp weeknight. We had made a special trip to the game to catch a glimpse of the former Jays top prospect to see if he was likely to ever regain his form, or be vaguely as awesome as Kelvim Escobar. (Because what more could you have hoped for, really?)

We had a few tasty beverages in us as the game moved into the middle innings, and were generally enjoying the sound of our own voice as we expounded on the game of baseball to any poor sap caught within earshot. (This was before we had the blog as the outlet for this sort of jibber-jabber...you can take us out in public now.)

That's when the rains came. Actually, not so much rains as a small sprinkle. Which eventually turned into a vague mist.

And here's where you're going to have to suspend your disbelief and go with us, because it's where the story get weird: Doc was being really deliberate on the mound. Like sloooow. Long looks in to the catcher, and multiple meetings on the mound to go over the signs. His innings seemed to be taking forever.

And as Doc was chatting with his backstop and the rains shifted from a mist into a slight drizzle, we let our best snark fly:

"Come on Doc! I'm made of sugar here and I'm not going to make it through the rest of this inning at this rate!"

We got a few laughs and chuckles for that line, mostly from our inebriated buddy and a random SkyChiefs fan. But whatever positive reinforcement we received that night, it is not nearly enough to offset the dishonour that we've felt with each passing year.

We were "that guy". We heckled Roy Halladay.

We feel shame.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

Any pitcher taking his time should rightfully be heckled. Baseball is meant to be a two hour game- not 3 three hours and certainly not 3 1/2 hours!
-brent in Korea

Anonymous said...

C'mon Tao. Chances are you cheered for somebody who didn't deserve it (once) too. It's okay. Maybe you were the one who made Doc efficient. Clearly you didn't punch the final hole in his confidence, so relax.

Lloyd the Barber said...

I will let this fly, only because he wasn't playing for the home team.

I agree with anon above, perhaps the Tao penetrated Roy's defenses and turned him into the ruthless machine we all worship today.

Tao of Stieb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tao of Stieb said...

We often wonder: was that a tear or a raindrop streaming down Doc's cheek?

We'll never know.

Ian H. said...

Tao, I'm shocked yet amazed at the same time.

Wiffleballs said...

I remember heckling Cecil Fielder at Exhibition Stadium for being slow at first base...then he hit a game winning home run against the Red Sox. Go figure.

Speaking of former first basemen, Willie Upshaw has gone from Blue Jays to Bluefish:

http://www.connpost.com/ci_11988985

Anonymous said...

homo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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Tao of Stieb said...

Sorry...what was that? Could you repeat it?

Andy Mc said...

Reminds me of the time I was on the RF line, and Rios was right beside me, and the place was dead. The jays down 5-2 to the Orioles in July. Rios had watched first strike fastballs all night. I said to him straight up, in a normal voice "Alex, why do you watch that candy go by? Have you ever heard of a homerun?" He looks at me, and says calmly, "yeah."

Well, he got up with the bases loaded and hit a bases-clearing triple, followed by him scoring the winning run, in the first walkoff win of the season.

I felt bad, as I RARELY heckle our guys, other than that goat Gregg Zaun. I was a bit ashamed, as you should be too, but Rios went on a tear after that game.

11 days.

The Ack said...

Tao, I'm not going to judge, but you should be afraid.

You basically bought yourself a life sentence of looking over your shoulder. A cyborg never forgets.

Anonymous said...

Maybe it was YOUR heckling that made him straighten up...

..or not, whatever.

eyebleaf said...

It takes a man to admit something like this...

Darren Priest said...

When I saw 27 comments, I thought, "Wow, Tao really touched a nerve," but, no, it's just one very hopeful anonymous commenter.

Christopher said...

I once told Gary Matthews Jr. that he was half the player his old man was. "You're probably right," was his response.

Tao of Stieb said...

In Alex Rios' rookie season, we were sitting down the right field line at a game where the Jays were getting blown out by the Angels.

In the middle of a particularly bad inning, some douchebag Yankees fan (who didn't shut up the whole game about how awesome Yankee Stadium is compared to the Dome) yells "You suck Rios!"

The Gazelle whips his head around and gives innocent little old us a wicked death stare. Mrs Tao thought it was a riot.

Darren Priest said...

And he'll never forget your head of luscious curls, Tao. Kiss your chance to buddy-up with Rios au revoir!

Chris said...

Tao, obviously he wasn't crying; it was raining on his face.

Tao of Stieb said...

He might have been cutting onions.

Making a lasagna.

For one.

dave said...

I agree with Ack, how the hell aren't you scared to go to the stadium?

Anonymous said...

We had a few tasty beverages in us as the game moved into the middle innings, and were generally enjoying the sound of our own voice as we expounded on the game of baseball to any poor sap caught within earshot. (This was before we had the blog as the outlet for this sort of jibber-jabber...you can take us out in public now.) softmod Wii | how to softmod Wii