Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Good or Evil - NL Edition

Continuing on from yesterday's Good or Evil AL playoff preview, we break down the relative angelic and demonic factors going into the NL playoff picture.

Colorado Rockies (90-73) vs. Philadelphia Phillies (89-73)

Rockies, the Good: Feel good story of the week; Todd Helton’s goatee; monster offense; Good Canadian Boy™ Jeff Franchise.
Rockies, the Evil: Phantom runs; purple uniforms; humidors; We still hate Dan O’Dowd for not letting Francis pitch for Canada in the Olympics; the memory of Dante Bichette.

Phillies, the Good: Philly fans; monster offense; Feel good story of last week; Jamie Moyer’s stirrups; Antonio Alfonseca’s extra fingers; Rooting for Pat Gillick; wicked AL-style lineup; cheesesteaks.
Phillies, the Evil: Philly fans; Closers who smack their wives around; memories of the ’93 Phillies; Pat Burrell.

Verdict: Those lineups in those two bandboxes? We don’t even care who wins, we just want to see both teams mash each other into oblivion.

Arizona Diamondbacks (90-72) vs. Chicago Cubs (85-77)
D-Backs, the Good: O-Dog; Brandon Webb; Chris B. Young, when he hits the ball; memories of the 2001 World Series; Having Glenn Campbell’s “By the Time I Get to Phoenix” stuck in our heads.
D-Backs, the Evil: “It’s a dry heat”; Retirees in shorts pulled up to their armpits; Chris B. Young, when he’s striking out; Taking forever to recognize Martin Luther King Day; Randy Johnson’s old man back; Gratuitous snake iconography.

Cubs, the Good: Wrigley Field day games; Pitchers laying the smack down on their catchers; Referring to Ryan Theriot as “The Riot”; Derek Lee; the Memory of Harry Carey; possible Bill Murray sightings.
Cubs, the Bad: Wrigley Field night games; NL Central “Champions”; Spending sprees; Endless blathering about the Curse of the Goat; Blaming Bartman; Idiotic celebrity versions of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame”; possible Jim Belushi sightings.

Verdict: We know that there’s a sentimental reason to cheer for the Cubs. But we’re not that sentimental, and we like the D-Backs young lineup.


Joanna said...

Also, Cubs Evil : Ted Lilly dumping us for them. I know it turned out okay for us (other than not having a lefty which would make our current awesome rotation even better), but he's in the playoffs and we are not. Stupid Eeyore.

Also,no Sweet Lou as commentator. He was witty, informed and charming. And he wasn't dragged down by Tim McCarver but instead acted as a buffer. A spoonful of sugar.

Tao of Stieb said...

Ah yes...Lilly. We were thinking of some sort of witticism to account for him, but you seem to have captured it perfectly.