Wednesday, July 16, 2008

All-Star Breakin' 2: Electric Sooze-aloo

God help us, we stuck it out to the bitter end of last night's ridiculously long All-Star Game.

Well, almost. Some time between 1:30 and 1:45 we nodded off, but thanks to the magic of the PVR, we were able to rewind and watch the dramatic sac fly walkoff, then rush off to Sleepyland and continue on that dream where Monica Bellucci and Carla Gugino are fighting over us. (That's a pretty good one.)

In any case, here are the few random thoughts on last night's festivities that we've managed to pluck out of our sleep-deprived brain.

Blink and you missed Doc
As per usual, Roy Halladay was quick and efficient in his inning of work. In a four hour and fifty minute game, Doc saw the field for no more than five minutes, striking out Lance "Fat Elvis" Berkman and helped along by nice plays in the field by Ichiro (who could probably hit the high windows in a Tokyo skyscraper with a pebble - Hola Ichiro!) and Derek Jeter (we feel dirty even saying that).

We were also treated to extended footage of Doc getting pointers on throwing his cutter from Mariano Rivera which goes to show that apparently Sal Fasano's guidance on his cutter grip really didn't stick.

Finally, Doc clarified his comments from the other day, noting that we Blue Jays fans shouldn't be concerned with the possibility of him leaving. (Damn you Stoeten! You're right again!) Blair covers Halladay's response to the mass panic nicely in his piece...although wasn't Snappy one of the guys stirring the pot in the first place?

Hall of Famers and their caps
We actually kinda liked the whole introduction segment, where every Living Hall of Famer was dragged onto the field to demonstrate that Yankee Stadium (rebuilt in 1976, by the way) is the most historic history-thingy in history. But one thing that made us laugh were the shenanigans with the Honoured Members and their ballcaps.

At first, there was Wade Boggs, who wears a Red Sox cap on his plaque, wore his Yankee cap during the celebrations. "That's kinda cheap", we thought. But then we saw Dave Winfield, who aside from wanting noise, apparently wants to wear as many caps as he can. He wore his Padres cap, but then pulled out a Yankees cap and feigned like he was about to put it on for the sake of the New York fans.

The pièce de résistance was Mike Toth's hero Gary Carter, who wore an Expos cap, but flashed his Mets cap when the camera was on him. In Yankee Stadium, no less.

What a maroon.

Josh Hamilton is an we've been told a million times
It would be perfectly fine and dignified of everyone if they would just lay off the whole Josh Hamilton story by about 25%. Yeah, we're pretty impressed with what he has done to rehabilitate himself, and he's a heckuva a ballplayer. But the constant reminders of how far he's come, and how he's totally clean and sober, and ashamed of his tattoos, and how he loves Jesus and America too is a bit much. Yeah, it's a nice story, but by building him up like this, we can't help but feel like there's a spectacular fall coming on the other side. We're not wishing for it at all...but we just know that the same people who are praising his good Christian transformation will crap all over him if he were ever to slip.

Give it a rest.

Terry Francona has learned nothing about managing an All-Star pitching staff
So, that was a bit tense last night for the AL, wasn't it? Given the debacle that was the 2002 All-Star tie in Milwaukee, you'd think that Tito might have thought about keeping a pitcher like Joe Saunders around for extra innings in case he needed him. We have no idea how many pitches that Scott Kazmir had in him last night, but if the game had gone a few innings later and had ended in another tie in spite of the fact that "it counts", then Francona should have been permanently barred from managing in any All-Star Game ever. Or maybe he should be forced to run into the Wrigley field outfield fence at top speed. Again


The Southpaw said...

Wouldn't it make more sense to do this bad mamma jamma on a WEEKEND, when it could start at 4 p.m. EST and run as late as it wanted...?

And why doesn't anyone talk about MY inspirational triumph over addiction (to maple cookies, age 8) and transformation into a semi-productive member of society?

Go with Christ,

Tao of Stieb said...

One day, we hope to overcome our addiction to the A&E program Intervention.

We're totally addicted to watching addicts overcome THEIR addiction.

MK Piatkowski said...

I can't be too hard on Francona. Who knew the damn thing was going to go 15 innings? He should have held Doc back if he knew because we know he eats innings. But Francona wanted to give everyone a chance to play, which I can respect. It must suck to be invited to the game and then just sit on the bench.

As for Doc, love that even at the All Star game he's trying to learn and improve. But after all the gushing over Hamilton's story, you'd think someone would mention the guy took a line drive off the side of his head a few weeks ago. If that isn't a feel-good story, than what is? Hopefully it's because he plays here and not because he's Mormon, therefore not bible-thumping in a prescribed way.

Oh, and I'm desperate to see a pic of Doc in the parade. Anyone knows of one, please let me know.

MK Piatkowski said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Colin said...

As far as Hamilton goes, I can't shake the feeling that it's only a matter of time until someone tracks an order of HGH delivered to him, or it comes out that he's had a relapse.

the ack said...

The Jays should hire Jeff Van Vonderen as bench coach. With our luck they'd end up with that pussy Ken Seeley.

Tao of Stieb said...

Jeff's the dude we'd want to step in on our behalf. We wouldn't be able to take someone with frosted tips seriously at an intervention.

Speaking of frosted tips: wonder what's up with Richie Sexson.

BTW Ack: fire us an email. We've got a question for you.

the ack said...

I'm gonna say what I gotta say and you're gonna say what you're gonna say and that's it, we're done.

fired you an email, let me know if perchance you don't get it...

Chris said...

I'll start by saying that I was out Tuesday night and only started watching the game in the 7th...

I don't get the issue with the hats. What's wrong with Boggs/Winfield/Carter giving a nod to the fans in a town where they played? Who cares if Carter showed a Mets hat in Yankee Stadium? It's still New York. Seems like a case of an Expos inferiority complex.

If Paul Molitor did the same thing in Toronto (yeah, as if they'll be honouring SkyDome like that when it closes), would you call him a maroon?

And why rip Francona? At least he had a starter as his last pitcher. The NL had Lidge as the only guy left. Either way, the game only had one inning left had it not mercifully ended when it did.

Everyone's jumping on Francona, obviously due to anti-Boston sentiment (which I'm ok with), but Hurdle was just as lucky the game ended when it did.

Although, why am I ranting about the stupid All-Star Game? I'll go back to not caring about it now, and just be annoyed that the Jays aren't playing for the 4th day in a row...

Best Regards

Ian H. said...

Yeah, I could've done without the Josh Hamilton overkill. I guess that's the easiest story to talk about - it's just unfortunate that EVERY commentator and sports writer has to talk about it during the All-Star break.