The Extraordinary Circumstances of Brian Tallet

The sight of Brian Tallet last night was more than a little surreal. It was a bit like running into an ex, where you're left just a bit slack-jawed, thinking "oh, heeeeyyy...it's...you."

We'd never figured we'd see him much of Tallet again. Certainly not in a Jays uniform. Even after the trade that brought him back to the fold, we thought it was a long shot that he'd get back into the playing shape. We figured he'd head off into the sunset, and work on whatever side projects he and his fellow members of Broken Social Scene have planned for the Winter.

(That's him, second from the left...right?)

But there he was, his lanky frame once again draped in the familiar number 56 uniform, taking the ball in a most unfamiliar situation - looking for his first career save in six tries. We likely don't need to enlighten you as to what ensued, but in case you're reading this twelve years from now in some internet archive, Tallet basically threw the ball anywhere but in the strike zone, giving up two walks, two hits and two runs while getting just one out.

It would be easy to bury Tallet - and people on Twitter and elsewhere were calling for him to be DFAed before his cleats even left the playing surface - but we'd be somewhat charitable towards him given the extraordinary circumstances. Tallet hadn't pitched a big league game in almost two months after dealing with serious kidney issues, but Jays interim manager Don Wakamatsu had few other options than to run him out after having his pen run ragged in the series against the Rays.

When Casey Janssen couldn't go back out after a clean ninth, Wakamatsu basically had a choice between lefty Rommie Lewis and Tallet to go out and face a lineup full of right-handed bats heading into extra innings. Given that it was Tallet's first game back, holding Lewis for any subsequent extra innings was probably the right choice, unpalatable though it may have seemed.

We're not saying that Tallet's is an arm that we want to many more times this season. But we'll cut him some slack before calling for his immediate release. It wasn't the ideal situation for anyone involved.

UPDATE, 3:52 PM: And now, he's gone again. If we hadn't watched last night's game, we'd barely believe that he was here at all. We probably would have told you that you were mistaken, and it was just someone who looked like him.

We feel terrible for Tallet.

Offseason update (already?)

Rather than ramble on with a long-winded introductory paragraph, pontificating deeply about this and that, all meant to fool you into thinking I have it all figured out.....I'm just not going to bother. Not that I'm better than that (I'm not), but I'm short on time and energy, friends. So let's just muse, shall we?.....

Our favorite hipster reliever - gone
We won't have Brian Tallet to kick around anymore, as the 5-year Blue Jay (really?!) refused his assignment to AAA Vegas and becomes a free agent. As sorry as one can feel for a guy paid a million bucks to toss a few innings of baseball every other night, I do feel a twinge for a player kicked around by the fanbase for posting a fairly brutal 2010 campaign.

It's been stated a few times but bears repeating - used properly, Tallet was once and still could have been a quality asset for a major league pitching staff, as his '06-'08 campaigns can attest. But somewhere along the line, certain of the Blue Jays braintrust determined that Tallet's best role was in the rotation as an "innings-eater" (barf), or at the very least, as a multi-inning longman out of the bullpen.

Evidently, it took 2 full seasons of misusing the dude before anyone could figure out that formula does not compute. And now Tallet faces an uphill battle to land a major league job. Didn't have to end this way, but here we are.

E5 - gone
Slightly less surprising (but still surprising nonetheless), Edwin Encarnacion finds himself among the ranks of former Blue Jays, gone to Oakland on a waiver claim.

In reality, being sent to Vegas mid-season was all the evidence he & we really needed as proof that he was never viewed as a long-term fit at 3rd base for the Jays, but his occasional hot streaks and five homer weekends provided a flicker of hope that he might be. In the end, Encarancion - he of the criminally underused marketing ploy - finds himself swinging for the fences in Oakland (good luck), for now.

Oh yeah - DeWayne Wise - also gone
Kind of figured Wise had a shot at sticking around as a 4th/5th outfielder-type, but like Tallet, he was uninterested in a AAA assignment and has elected free agency. Maybe he comes back on a minor league deal. Either way.

Jays are reportedly interested in Greinke, Rasmus, Dunn, Berkman, Huff......
Again, not proclaiming original thought here, but again, bears repeating..... the Jays will likely be tied to most every player on the market - trade or free agent - to varying degrees, as intrepid GM Alex Anthopoulos kicks every tire on the lot on the off chance there could be a "fit". And why wouldn't he?

If Dayton Moore proclaims that he's trading Zack Greinke, why wouldn't Anthopoulos pick up the phone? Maybe Moore has a Brett Cecil and JP Arencibia obsession? Not that such an offer would even result in a callback, but if there's one thing we've learned, it's that AA leaves no stone unturned. And I love that about the guy.

Richard Griffin brings you John Farrell
Let me tell you something about Rich Griffin - when he's not intent on crucifying JP Ricciardi for all sins real and imagined, he's a hell of a baseball writer. This Q&A with the new skip reveals a little more about Farrell and the way he thinks about baseball. The more I see (er, read), the more I like.

I mean....it's mid-November and I already cannot fucking wait for next season. The Winter Meetings just might be the death of me.

This will all be over soon enough

It's hard for us to even remember that moment last year when we were so enamored with Brian Tallet. "The Summer of Tallet!" we exclaimed endlessly, or at least until we tired of the notion ourselves.

But now, when we see The Manager insert him into a tie game in the ninth inning, and continue to run him out to the mound until he coughed up that motherfucker up, we irrationally find ourselves thinking kindly on the sweet solace of the season's end. It's going to be a long winter without baseball, but at the very least, we'll be able to warm ourselves with the thought that The Manager will never again have the opportunity to call on the Hipster Oaf with the 6.28 ERA and the 1.58 WHIP to enter the game in a high leverage (or medium leverage, or low leverage, or no leverage) situation and toss a brand of brutally useless junk up there that would make Frank Tanana blush.

And it's not as though the Jays are completely bereft of arms at this point of the season. It's September, for goodness sake, and they call haul whoever the hell they want from their system tomorrow if they need an extra arm. You're trying to tell me that Zach Jackson can't be at least as effective as Tallet? Or that they couldn't have called up Jeremy Accardo to give them some extra latitude at this point in the year?

(Speaking of which: Whatever sin Accardo committed and is now being punished for must be a doozy for the Jays to pay him a million dollars to go cool his heels in Vegas and not darken this side of the border with his presence. Feel free to fill in the blanks for yourself to decide what it was that Accardo did to deserve this exile.)

There are only 17 games left in the season, and we're probably going to cry like a baby when it's done. But we won't shed a single tear for this version of The Manager, nor for his pet lanky lefty.

Thoughts on the weekend in a flash

Honouring our patron saint: It was great to see and hear so much about Dave Stieb this weekend, as everyone seemed to trip over themselves to find enough superlatives for the former ace. (If you missed it, there's a nice bit of ceremonial huzzahs available on the Jays site.)

It was especially interesting to hear Stieb in conversation with Jerry and Alan on the radiocast mentioning how Buck Martinez used to have to remind him to lay off on the slider and throw some fastballs here or there. Stieb also bemoaned his own approach on the pitches he threw that saw previous no-hitters get broken up. More than 20 years later, you can still hear him kicking himself for throwing a curve with perfection on the line.

And you'll excuse this cliché, but he does look as though he could go out and toss six solid innings tomorrow if he had to.

Less than perfect, Part 1: As was brought to our attention last week by email, the coveted Stieb bobble had a few flaws in it. Firstly, the cap was the wrong one (Jays wore solid blue caps on the road that season) and the jersey has the wrong lettering (road jerseys read "Toronto", not "Blue Jays".) So if you are superstitious enough not to talk about no-hitters and such in the middle of the game, maybe you'd agree with us that such flaws in the promotional swag were certain to doom yesterday's game for the Jays.

Less than perfect, Part 2: If you're more literal-minded, perhaps you're looking at the actual pitching in yesterday's game when assessing what went wrong. Last year's callup surprise, Marc Rzepczynski's output this year has been bad enough to make us forget how to spell his name. His mechanics, which were very tight last season, look completely messed up now. Last year, he threw a lot of strikes down in the zone to keep things under control. This year, he's having a hard time getting anything where it should be.

Especially telling was the pitch Rzep threw after a mound visit from José Molina with two balls and the bases loaded. After all of the shoulder rubs and "just chill and throw strikes" that his catcher could offer, Rzep still let his lead shoulder fly out and threw a mid-80's fastball a foot outside. Not good.

Who's next? With the announcement that Brandon Morrow is going to get an early end to his season (a very good call, in our estimation), and the possibility that Shaun Marcum might also see his innings limited in his first post-TJ season, the Jays will be looking for additional starting arms to pick up the slack.

And if that additional arm is Brian Tallet, we'll die a little extra on those days.

The smart money would seem to be on Bobby Ray, who pitched well last year in a brief time with the Jays, and whose innings aren't up particularly high because of some minor league DL stints. Brad Mills, who looks like a mess of messes on the mound lately, could also get some starts down the stretch. Canadian Shawn Hill might have also been an option, but he tossed just one inning in his last start and is coming off a long road back from injury, so he's a long shot.

But don't get your hopes up for appearances from Kyle Drabek: The New Hampshire Fisher Cats are headed towards the playoffs(!!!1), and he'll eat up his remaining innings at that level.

Jeremy Accardo would like to be heard: If you read the original Las Vegas Review-Journal piece (as opposed to some of the overheated clips from it that were tossed around on this side of the border), Jeremy Accardo doesn't sound so much aggrieved as he does frustrated and resigned with his lot in the Blue Jays' organization.

This might be forgotten at this point, but Accardo broke camp with the Jays, and promptly sat for two weeks in the pen. And though Accardo has put up respectable numbers in Las Vegas (especially considering the inflation inherent in pitching in that division of the PCL), he'll be hard pressed to get a sniff of the pitching rubber in the Bigs so long as The Manager is still wearing the windbreaker and crossing his arms in the dugout.

To be honest, we'd almost prefer to see Accardo go somewhere in the National League and get the opportunity to work in the back end of a team's bullpen next year. He's been painted as a bit of a jerk for his outspokeness, but we're inclined to think that he has the very same "hustle" and "heart" that the team likes to proclaim as primary values in its marketing campaigns.

Some weekends suck more than others

If there's a small blessing to this past weekend, it's that we spent more time listening to the games and less time actually watching them. We consider the lack of visuals a small mercy that we granted upon ourselves. It left us able to complete the picture of the weekend sweep in a way that was far more satisfying and relaxing and pleasant.

In our mind's eye, a packed house watched as the Jays, a team comprised entirely of unicorns and My Little Ponies, fought valiantly against the Dark Angels and their evil machinations. And because of their equine nature and the lack of opposable thumbs, it was no wonder that the Blue Jays were left to flail away at the plate, striking out 19 times over the three games.

Now that our ether rag is dry, and we're left to piece the weekend back together in the cold grey light of a Monday afternoon, we're not certain what to read into the weekend. The Jays didn't really get blown out in any of the games, but they certainly never seemed to be poised to win any of them either. They continued to get contributions from Vernon Wells, Adam Lind and Alex Gonzalez, but much of the lineup is still scuffling along. Shaun Marcum and Ricky Romero respectively put up decent and excellent pitching performances, but putative number two starter Brian Tallet served up another subpar performance.

And so maybe this is the way that this season is going to play out: The good parts will be there, but will be outweighed by the bad, and eventually, you slip backwards into the mediocre showing that everyone expected.

(Go with us on this one, because we are trying to be the optimists who find arguments for how this team could go over .500 this year. If what we've just said seems completely obvious to you, it's because you were ready to believe it before we were. We're still sounding out the thoughts phonetically to ourselves and pretending that we don't understand the meaning.)

On Tallet and Tightness
Apparently, Brian Tallet's arm has tightness in it. Which is appropriate, we think, because our sphincter has had some significant tightness in it every time he takes the mound, if you know what we mean.

(Actually, it might not be "tightness". We're seeing "soreness" and "stiffness" in the reports. Which is appropriate, we think, considering the soreness of our sphincters after taking a beating from the opponent's stiffness each time Tallet takes the mound.)

My kingdom for a balance schedule
We've been dragging our feet on writing a piece on the bogus realignment horse-hockey that was tossed around in the winter, but we promise that we'll get right to that. Honest. In our mind, it's already the best thing that we're ever written, should we ever get around to writing it.

In the interim, we recommend a read through Neate Sager's typically well-informed and well-reasoned jaunt through the issues with the schedule, and why some of us should ignore the buffoonery of certain sportswriters.

A thought on buffoonery
After having had some fun with The Hack at Sun-Times, here's what we've come to believe about this whole situation: There are certain American sportswriters who go out of their way to make the situation in Toronto analogous to Montreal, or who like to hold Canada up for ridicule as a place where top level baseball should not and cannot succeed. But their existence is payback for the innumerable cases where Canadian hockey writers dump on the attendance and profitability of teams in American cities.

So maybe the point is that we should all stop being so fucking smug, and stop making arguments to pull teams out of other fans' markets. Mmmkay?

The struggles begin

Even though we're (yeah - we) in the midst of a (re)building year, losing plain sucks. Especially against shitballers like Joe Saunders, who prior to today's contest couldn't get anyone out. Cue the manager's patented "mail it in Saturday" lineup (much like this post - heyo!), featuring both Jose Molina and Johnny Mac. Both good dudes and defensive wizards to be sure, but those two bats should never, ever, appear on the same starting lineup card. In defence of Clarence, he's not exactly dealing with a full stack of reserves. Get healthy, Aaron Hill and hurry on back, E5.

The shittacular starting 9 aside, what I continue to find disconcerting and amazing all at once is the ongoing praise for Brian Tallet and his work in the rotation. Let me make one thing clear - I'm a big Tallet fan. In the right role. And to me, that role is long man capable of chewing up multiple innings out of the bullpen. The praise he receives for essentially being a bad starting pitcher is beyond me. It's like the Jays broadcast crew (and management) go out of their way to praise Tallet for taking his lumps and going five or six innings.

I'd rather all involved were just honest and admit that Tallet's job as a starter is a function of protecting the confidence of young arms who would otherwise be taking the ball. Better to beat on the veteran than the youngsters, I guess.

No matter, Brett Cecil will be forcing his way into the big league rotation soon enough. Speaking of which.....

Irresponsible hype based on insignificant sample sizes - Las Vegas edition
Brett Cecil - 2-0, 2.45 ERA, 11 IP, 11K (plus some new eyewear)
Brad Mills - 1-0, 0.79 ERA, 11.1 IP, 18K (um....what?)
Brett Wallace - 9 GP, 1.092 OPS, 4 HR (arb date?)

Joe Cowley update
After finally freeing himself from the tyranny that we call Canada, Joe Cowley and his journalistic stylings accompanied the Chicago White Sox to Cleveland. Friday night's attendance? 10,421 (Toronto att: 14,779). Saturday's attendance? 12,885 (Toronto: 17,187).

Looking forward to the article discussing the benefits of moving the Indians to Tijuana or wherever the fuck.

A One-Sentence Post on...The Number Two Starter

We asked the Magic 8 Ball if 2010 would offer us yet another Summer of Tallet, and responded with "Ask Me Later", which seems just about right.

Everybody loves a Tallet Show

If you're a regular reader around here, you know our love for Brian Tallet knows no bounds.

(Actually, that's not entirely true. There are the bounds dictated by reason, respect and decorum that prevent us from following him home after starts. We prefer to enjoy him from afar. Just sayin'.)

But last night's start took the Summer of Tallet to a whole other level. With the pitching staff in shambles after a week in National League parks, Tallet took to the hill on short rest and delivered an absolute gem over his six innings (no runs, three hits, seven strikouts and one walk).

We didn't realize at the time that Tallet was going on short rest - these are the perils of watching the game with no sound - so we nearly flipped when we saw him take a seat after just 90 pitches, ceding the mound to the absolute shitshow that is Shawn Camp and Jesse Carlson. Wins might be a bit of a meaningless counting stat for pitchers, but we were relieved to see Tallet walk away with a "W" after those mediocre jokers served up batting practice through the seventh.

In addition to Tallet's fantastic pitching this season - and it is hard to imagine what the team would have done without him through these injury-ravaged months - we fully enjoy the fact that he brings a whole new set of facial hair to the mound for each game. It's almost as though he's a Mr. Potato Head who can snap off the sideburns and fu manchu and replace them with a stylin' Joey Silvera porn stache.

If the Jays are looking for a promo item for next season, the Brian Tallet bobblehead with interchangeable facial hair would be the best tchotchke ever.

Various linkages

This franchise is not run by the Sisters of the Mercy: We're a little late on catching up with this one, but Mary Ormsby (who we generally enjoy as the voice of reason in her appearances on Prime Time Sports) wrote an absurd article about how the Blue Jays aren't giving away the empty seats in their luxury boxes. In other news, McDonalds won't be giving out stale Big Macs, the twirlers at the Zanzibar won't be offering free lap dances to the downtrodden, and cab drivers without fares won't be giving people free rides to the airport.

Wells' struggles, infinite redux: More recently, ESPN's Jerry Crasnick wrote a very good article on Vernon Wells' prolonged struggles. Those of us on the Jays blogs have probably lost all perspective on Wells and his struggles, so it's nice to read an even-handed account of how poorly Wells is playing and the possible reasons for the slide.

Worth noting: Wells currently has a seven game hitting streak going, including four doubles, a homer (finally!) and four RsBI, posting an .861 OPS over those game. Let's hope this is the man coming around. (And yet, the Hatred Advisory Level has returned to severe. What?)

Summer reading: Just finished reading David Denby's Snark, which is an interesting take on the history and current usage of this often dubious rhetorical device. For those of you who are certain that the world is being led to hell in a handbasket by anonymous bloggers, it's an interesting read. (Then again, if that's your fear, why are you reading this blog?)

All Hail the Blue Jays' Fab Five

Imagine if we were to have told you in the off season that after the team-wide offensive struggles in the past two seasons (R.I.P. to the careers of Mickey Brantley and Gary Denbo), five Blue Jays would get out of the gate and put up numbers that would rank them amongst the elite at their position through the month of June.

Then imagine that we told you that none of those five players were Alex Rios or Vernon Wells.

Then imagine that we were hopping on one foot when we told you this. (Actually, don't bother with that last one. We were just checking to see if you were paying attention.)

Through the team's first 71 games, the Jays have five players posting an OPS above .800, a mark that only one regular (Wells) and no qualifying batter reached for the 2008 season.

The Fab Five - Lyle Overbay (.939), Adam Lind (.915), Scott Rolen (.866), Marco Scutaro (.833), and Aaron Hill (.815) - have arguably all performed above expectations this season, but not to such an extent that you couldn't see them carrying this through to the year's end.

There are caveats, of course. Neither Overbay nor Rolen qualify for rate stats titles at this point given the amount of days they've been given off in spite of relative good health. With Cito protecting Overbay from lefties and Rolen from wear and tear, it's hard to get a real handle of what sort of offensive value they bring over the entirety of the schedule.

Mind you, Rolen's Runs Above Replacement level (RAR) is 20.7, good enough for sixth best amongst Major League third basemen, while Overbay's 17.1 places him between Ryan Howard and Joey Votto in that same category. (Not that we totally understand what any of that means...like Drew at Ghostrunners noted, we're not that good at math.)

Why are the Fab Five so Fab? Raw Power!
Speaking of that two-week old Ghostrunners post, Drew points out the great numbers now being generated from MLBAM's Hit f/x data, and demonstrates that the Jays really are hitting the ball as hard as anyone. When Fangraphs looked at the initial speeds of the ball coming off the bats for the month of April, the Jays ranked just behind Texas and Cleveland as the maddest mashers in the land.

Aaron Hill in particular hits the ball with a particularly awesome level of ultraviolence, sending the horsehide screaming off in the distance at 80.1 MPH, almost two clicks faster than the next Blue Jay, Adam Lind (78.2 MPH).

Perhaps the whistling flames shooting off the balls hit by Hill help explain one of the truly odd offensive stats this season. While Hill has hit 15 dingers to this point, he's managed just nine doubles so far, just two more than Kevin Millar. Hill leads the team with 93 hits, but is it possible that he's hitting the ball too hard, and that would be doubles are turning into singles?

The Summer of Tallet Will Scald Your Flesh
Before we forget, the Summer of Tallet continues tonight with our favorite hipster oaf taking to the mound against the Red Stockings of Johnny Feverland.

Two sweet blessings rolled into one tonight: the pitchers won't hit, meaning we won't have to watch Tallet at the bat (phew!) and he won't have to face his pitching counterpart, the slugging Micah Owings (double phew!).

The briefest of thoughts for a Monday off day

Into every Summer (of Tallet), there must come stormy days.

Alex Rios is not the problem with the offense, and he hasn't been for a month. Hitting him sixth isn't a stroke of genius.

Sometimes, when another team comes in and smokes the ball all over the yard like the Marlins did this weekend, you tip your cap and recognize. Because frankly, they looked really good.

(A more fulsome and lengthy diatribe is certain to come to us tomorrow, but we're in a celebratory mood on a personal level, and can't really delve into the aggravation caused by this weekend's sweep. But feel free to add your own freakouts in the comments. Or try to cheer up the Ack, because dude sounds like he needs it.)

Pitching Bonanza! The Summer of Tallet, injured pitchers, and drafted pitchers

Are you all on board with the Summer of Tallet yet? Because after last night's seven innings of two-hit shutout ball against the Swingin' Rangers of Arlington, you really should be.

Since getting blowed up real good against the Royals back in April (and sucking up that shit kicking for the good of the team and the overworked bullpen), Tallet has been solid and has given more than anyone would have guessed. In his last eight starts, Tallet has posted a 3.12 ERA and a 1.05 WHIP, with opposing hitters posting a measley .551 OPS against him in 52 innings.

And to think that Tallet's name was tossed around in the off season as the throw in that we'd give to anyone if they gave us a mediocre shortstop or Mencherson-type back.

While we are praising Tallet and his unmatched will to make this Summer his own, let's take a moment to recognize the fact that it was one John Paul Ricciardi who grabbed this guy for the low low price of a minor leaguer named Bubbie Buzachero.

Yes, this is the same J.P. who you've all fired a dozen times a week over the past seven years because of his five-year plans (no planning!) and his home address in Worcester and his reticence to share his phone number and his lack of respect for Reed Johnson. And J.P. is such an idiot that he actually got Bubbie Buzachero back in the system (1.04 ERA, two saves, 17 Ks / 3 BBs in New Hampshire)...so essentially, we got Tallet for nothing and Bubbie for free.

Drafting Pitchers Like Gallileo Dropped an Orange
The Jays loaded up on pitchers like it was going out of style in yesterday's MLB Draft. The Jays started off with Kennesaw State pitcher Chad Jenkins (Mr. Handsome, as Parkes called him) with the 20th pick in the first round before grabbing Scott Boras client James Paxton with the 37th pick. Paxton is lanky left-handed pitcher and a good Canadian boy to soothe the more parochially-minded of the fan base (and, as Jeff Blair noted, the Rogers folks.) A high-ceiling Canadian may well be worth the Jays going over the slot recommendations, as it seems likely that they'll have to.

(And won't it be fun to have a Boras client around these parts?)

The Jays grabbed another Canadian lefty, Newmarket's Jake Eliopoulos, with their next pick (68th overall), and Arizona high school pitcher Jake Barrett with the 99th pick.

And now, we sit an wait patiently for five years for these guys to make their way to the big leagues, and then another year after they blow out their arms. Fun!

The Drunk Jays Fans have a much better breakdown of the draft that we do, with lots of links and video, so go there for more information. We don't like to duplicate their efforts.

Another arm bites the dust
Whenever forearm tightness is mentioned for a pitcher, you pretty much bide your time and wait for the inevitable announcement that they're going to go under Dr. James Andrews' knife. Such is the case for Jesse Litsch, whose impending TJ surgery was confirmed yesterday. The Star is reporting that it could take 18 months before Litsch brings his transferred ligament back to the bigs, so here's wishing him a pink, round and efficient recovery.

In praise of Dirk Hayhurst
Last night was the first time that we got to see our springtime mancrush Dirk Hayhurst take the mound for the Jays, and he looked great in a clean frame, striking out one batter. Too bad he's not still blogging, because we'd love to see what he has to say about life in the Toronto clubhouse. (Feel free to drop us a line, Dirk!)

The Summer of Tallet rolls on this afternoon

Okay, let's stop bitching, and let's enjoy the unparalleled awesomeness that is Brian Tallet.

The big oaf takes the mound this afternoon at 1:30 in Baltimore, as the Jays look to cut down significantly on their suckitude and atone for their trespasses from last week. There's no time like the present to pull it together!

Feel free to treat the comments as a live thread, or threat, or pity party, or circle jerk, or whatever.

Knuckling under in Boston

God, we hate when we get all punny with our blog post titles. We would like to think that sort of lowbrow humour is beneath us, but it's just not. We are that lame.

So what did we learn in last night's 2-1 loss to the Boston Chowderheads? We learned that when a shitty shitballing shitbird throws shitty shitballs all night long, the Jays may be in for a shitty night of shitty pop ups to the infield. By the end of the game last night, we felt like it was 1987 and we were watching Frank Tanana toss junk around, frustrating us to a point that leaves emotional scars for decades afterwards.

Although to be perfectly reasonable about this, it is still May, and there's still three-quarters of the season to go.

Breakin' it down: The Dopeness
After a shakey first two frames, Brian Tallet was nails for the next four innings, locking it down and giving the Jays the chance to work their way back into the game. Tallet went six, struck out 5 and walked two, likely keeping himself in the rotation for another two starts at the very least. Welcome back to the Summer of Tallet...

We're not sure of Cito is a genius for playing Kevin Millar last night, or if Millar is a savant for putting pretty much the only good swing on a Wakefield pitch. Let's just call them both awesome and move on...

The Beej looked alright, even with seemingly diminished velocity last night. We never saw him throw anything over 88 MPH, but his location was mostly spot on, and he worked at bats well. He looks a lot more composed on the mound, and doesn't seem to be rushing his delivery, which likely makes all the difference...

Breakin' it down: The Wackness
We're not entirely sure how Alex Rios got thrown out trying to steal on a floating knuckleball that the catcher double-clutched on, but it happened. Perhaps the Blissfully Oblivious Gazelle forgot halfway between bases that there was some urgency involved with making his way to second...

We hate to dump on Adam Lind's defense, because we can see the guy is really trying to improve, but his throw way up the line to no one in particular in the second inning was quite the brain cramp. Let's hope that Cito or Brian Butterfield can work they mystical magic on him before we get to Atlanta...

It's easy to pick on Vernon Wells' and his propensity for popping out (twice last night, along with a lazy fly and reaching on an error), but the whole team seemed to want to get under Wakefield's floaters last night. Six pop ups and seven mostly lazy flyballs later, the Jays did their bit to keep the basepaths neatly manicured and the bases pristinely white.

Breakin' it down: The Media Section
Ok, first off: What the fuck was up with TSN2 using the NESN feed? All of this scrapping over carriage on the Rogers cable system, and the CTVgm folks can't even see to it that a Canadian crew is employed to broadcast the game? How was this different than Rogers just giving the free MLB Extra Innings Preview? (Our guess is that TSN2 didn't have an HD production truck at its disposal, given TSN's hockey duties, so they decided to take the easier simulcasting route. Actually, we're pretty sure that "Take the Easier Simulcasting Route" will be the title of Ivan Fecan's forthcoming autobiography...

We were actually happy to watch the NESN broadcast, which probably has the best production quality of any local MLB broadcast. However, spending close to three hours listening to Dennis Eckersley's ridiculous meanderings just about drove us batty. Really, can we have another five minute discussion of "sneaky cheese"? It made us appreciate how good Pat Tabler has become over the past decade in the Jays' booth. Too bad we can't pair Tabby with NESN's excellent playcaller Don Orsillo...

Next Up
The lanky southpaw rookie versus the tubby washed up righty: Brett Cecil (2-0, 1.80 ERA, 1.05 WHIP, 15 Ks / 4 BBs) versus Brad Penny (3-1, 6.69 ERA, 1.68 WHIP, 20 Ks, 16 BBs).

Well, that was exhausting

It was another roller coaster game for the Jays.

A Brian Tallet no-hitter into the seventh. Then Cleveland knocks him around and takes the lead. Then the Jays come back. Then they're a strike away from a win, only to have Jesse Barfield's stupid kid come around and score. Then the give up two more runs, only to come back and tie it in the ninth. And then stupid Shawn Camp gives up the winning runs, though the Jays make a game of it in the bottom of the 12th.

And to think that we just wanted to relax and unwind last night. By the end of the game, we were spent after spending a couple of hours rocking back and forth on the edge of our seat.

If you need to find the bright spot in last night's loss, it is that this year's Blue Jays don't have much quit in them. Over the past couple of years, the Jays would generally roll over on their backs and let the opposition rub their bellies when they fell behind. This year, you always have a sense that they'll scrape their way back into the game somehow.

Not just another Major League debut
Brett Cecil becomes the third Blue Jays starting pitcher to make his big league debut this season when he takes the mound at 12:37 this afternoon. Cecil has been knocked around at Las Vegas so far this year (0-3, 8.31 ERA, 9 Ks and 8 BBs and a 1.73 WHIP in four starts), although he pitched well in his last start (six innings, three runs, four hits, five Ks and a walk in six innings versus Sacramento).

At this point, Cecil is just being asked to be an arm and to hold the fort (gotta stop using that term) in the short term, so we should probably not lose our heads over today's start. But who's kidding who? We're going to totally lose our minds this afternoon.

Wilner also gets the call
Speaking of getting guys getting the call to fill in, JaysTalk host Mike Wilner will share the play-by-play duties this afternoon with Jerry Howarth on the radiocast. Howarth's usual partner, Alan Ashby, took some time to hang with his family unit in L.A., so Mike on the Mic stepped into the booth and did very nice work in his handful of innings last night.

The Summer of Tallet rolls on

It's easy to get distracted by 21 hits and 14 runs, but the story of last night's 14-0 win over the Chicago White Sox may well have been the impressive outing by makeshift starter Brian Tallet.

(And even if that isn't the story, that's the angle that we're going with. Because we want to keep fueling this Summer of Tallet meme.)

Tallet's 5 2/3 innings of scoreless are impressive and most appreciated given the depleted state of the staff. And while the final score makes the game look like a laugher, Tallet did yeoman's work keeping the Pale Hose off the scoreboard early when the game was still close in the first four innings. The only blip in his performance may have been the three walks he issued, but we'll cut him a little slack on his location given the crazy swirling winds last night.

Our favorite play of the night was Tallet's perfectly executed covering of first base on a hot shot to Overbay, after which the long, lean, loping lefty continued sprinting halfway down the right field line. (You just can't stop a beast like Tallet in mid-gallop.)

And as for the offense?
If the ruling philosophy is "Get A Pitch To Drive and Hit It", then the Jays adhered to it admirably last night. It's amazing to think that they were able to score the first 13 runs without a single long ball.

Alexei Ramirez certainly helped the Jays' offense along at several crucial points last night, but maybe the lesson out of that is that a hard hit ball will always have a chance to make things happen.

(Or something like. We're pretty much making this up as we go along. When's the Ack back again?)

There go our dreams of 162-0

Maybe people should have pulled back on all the talk about the Jays' record for wins to start the season until, you know, maybe at least three? Because when you start to go down that road too far, talking about the 1992 team's six win streak to start the year, you're really setting yourself up for a Voodoo Whammy(!) in the form of Miguel Cabrera's bat.

We could pick apart last night's performance in the 5-1 loss to the Tigers by both the offense and the pink-round-efficient pitching, but frankly, it's a little too early to start taking the micro and blowing it up into the macro. There were a few bad pitches and a few bad at bats, but we're not going to lose our shit about them until they become an actual trend.

Give it at least until the end of the weekend.

Let's hear it for the bullpen boys!
We've kicked Jason Frasor around a bit over the past few years, but he looked pretty great last night. In fact - and we hope we're not getting way too far ahead of ourselves - it crossed our mind that Frasor and his newfound circle-change might actually be a candidate for the closer job if someone else in the bullpen isn't able to fulfill those duties.

Brian Tallet -who has a mustache that would look right at home in the 1984 Blue Jays team picture -looked really good last night in his inning. We know that people keep talking about him as a surplus lefty arm and perfect trade bait, but we're inclined to think that this is The Year of The Tallet^TM. You don't want to mess with that sort of good ju-ju.

Apologies and Kudos to the Mainstream Media
After excoriating the hockey-centric sports media in Canada yesterday, just watch us now as we backpeddle. Or at least tip our cap to Sportsnet, who appear to be committed to a half-hour JaysConnected pre-game show this season. We're not exactly Brad Fay fans (that guy's like a can of mousse reading the autocue), but Barry Davis and Sam Consentino come off as actual baseball fans with a sincere interest in the game.

We'd suggest putting Davis and Consentino together before the game to have them chat it up amongst themselves on the state of the Blue Jays and what's happening around baseball. For away games, we'd see putting Davis in the studio (give him a phone book to sit on), then do a two-ender with Consentino on site. We'd also suggest forgoing the interviews with the players, because that sort of thing is as dull as shit now that they are media-trained within an inch of their sanity.

We'll still go to bed dreaming of the MLB Network, but this is progress. And as Lloyd the Barber quite rightly pointed out yesterday in response to our temper tantrum, we'll likely watch more games on TV and see more baseball content this year than our parents would have seen in a decade.

Cripes, we flipped back and forth last night between three games AFTER the Jays game was done, so we probably shouldn't put on the poormouth as much as we do.

This afternoon's affair
The getaway day matchup between Ricky Romero and Rick Porcello at 12:35 this afternoon should be interesting. As has been noted, it is the first time in history that two first round picks make their MLB debut against one another.

Also, we should expect to see a few new faces in the lineup, as Mike Barrett and Kevin Millar should be in the lineup.

That's the thing about rain-outs...

...they don't give you a whole lot of material to work with. Let's hope they get tonight's game in so Doc can kick the shit out of Pukelis (thanks, Joanna) and the rest of 'em.

Ricky Romero train
Well, not exactly a derailment, but not exactly the smoothest of rides either. My favorite disappointing 6th overall selection took the loss and gave us a line of 6 IP, 7H, 5 ER, 3BB, 3K in a loss to Pawtucket. Hey, at least he outdueled BFBC (Big Fat Bartolo Colon), who could only muster one inning of work.

Down goes Richmond
Well, looks like that's the end of the Scott Richmond experiment, as he was optioned back to Syracuse to make room for Wolfman Tallet. I'm already preparing myself for Griff's column.