Friday, February 26, 2010

It's gut-check time for Randy Ruiz

Yep, it's smaller. But still delightfully lucky when you touch it. Ruiz is looking so lithe, in fact, that The Manager is actually making the sane (if obvious) point that he deserves a chance to prove himself.

Meanwhile, AA is pitting Ruiz against Brian Dopirak in a Hell in the Cell Spring Training Death Match for one spot on the roster. And while we are rooting for both of them to break on through, we're going to have to side with the Brooklyn Buddha in this battle. (And this, in spite of the fact that Dopirak has been seen in New Balance kicks, which strikes us as the absolute coolest cleat choice ever. And those things matter to us.)

Speaking of aesthetics...
Note that Shaun Marcum is still refusing to wear the stupid NASCAR pit crew hats that New Era and MLB have mandated. You know why? Because Shaun Marcum won't lower himself to that sort of bullshit templated erroneous design. Which is why he's the ace of our staff. Because he's fucking nails.


Fuckface said...

It's gut check time for Randy as he'll be all up in your mother's guts like every day while your limp dick dad sits in the corner and cries.

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious. The reason why Mark McGwire and his brother had a falling out.

"The brothers haven't spoken since 2002. They fell out after Jay McGwire's stepson, Eric, tickled Mark and caused Mark to spill coffee on himself. Mark then swatted Eric on the backside. Jay's wife, Francine, then refused to attend Mark's wedding."

Bwilly said...

If Dopirak does beat out Ruiz, would there be thoughts to keep Wallace at 3rd?

Brad Fullmer Fan said...


Ty said...

I'd be really surprised to see Dopirak beat out Ruiz considering the big guy's performance in summer ball. I know he was playing some LF there, does anybody know if he's decent enough to play out there once in a while? Cito would love the "versatility" (like Millar being able to play 3B!)

Mike said...

Shaun Marcum > Gandhi

Man I hate those hats...

Anonymous said...

never felt inclined to comment on any of your articles but this one is great! Made me laugh out loud to the point that i had to try and explain why to my wife.

オテモヤン said...


Anonymous said...

Gaston commented on Romero possibly being the #1.

“One thing you have to keep in mind,” Gaston said, “is that the No. 1 guy, he’s always facing the best pitchers in baseball."

thats ridiculous and untrue you cross armed lounger

Darren Priest said...

Four guys standing around admiring another guy's weight loss. And we refuse to watch Oprah...why?

Good for him though. Must be nice to be able to see your penis without a mirror. I miss those days.

Anonymous said...

And I thought I like Sean Marcum before. Now I think I'm in love.