Jorge Posada is a certifiable douche.
Seriously, Jorge, you're a catcher. And if at this point in your career you aren't comfortable with the fact that teams are going to throw at you after you've called the pitches that land in the back or face of the opposition, then you should probably just get yourself an outfielder's glove and get out of from behind the plate. Suck it up, buttercup.
Posada's weak cheap shot at Jesse Carlson emptied the benches, and for half a second there, there was some joy in Jaysland as we watched Rod Barajas mix it up with all comers and Cito Gaston attempt to take on some young whippersnapper who was inexplicably yanking at Barajas' gear as he was on the ground.
That was kinda fun.
It probably doesn't make a ton of sense that we're a complete pacifist when it comes to the game of hockey, but we like to see a pitcher put one in a guy's ribs and the benches clear in baseball. Maybe it's because baseball is a sensible sport, in which teams don't make use of scraps as some sort of nightly kabuki theatre to demonstrate what a bunch of manly men with grit and heart they are. (Still hating you, Gary Roberts.)
Travis Snider has decided to pull the ball
Just days after Travis Snider indicated that he needed to get to inside pitches and pull the ball more, he sent two no-doubt-about-'er's into the second deck of Yankee Stadium (so, you know, still a home run in most other parks). Finding reasons to hold on hope is awesome.
The long decline of Deadspin continues
We realize that we suck the fun out of everything and get on our high horse sometimes, so take this as you will.
We were incensed when we opened up Deadspin this morning and read the follow recap from some fuckhead named Barry Petchesky: "Pitcher Jesse Carlson suffered a pretty nasty head wound, making this the worst day of casualties in the history of Canadian wars."
We seriously doubt that Barry wants any sort of history lesson or edification on Canada's role in the World Wars (we were there when your soldiers were still at home giving each other the clap), or how cowboy American bomber pilots killed Canadian soldiers because they were too fucking horny to kill something to realize that they were firing on friendlies, or how the 130th Canadian was killed in Afghanistan this week.
We're pretty sure that Barry is way too interested in staring at his own navel (and being fascinated by the sight of it) to give a shit. He'll probably have a laugh over PBR's with his douche friends about how sensitive Canadians are and how easy it is to get a rise out of them.
But remember: Canada is sharing some of the burden of the shit storm that the U.S. helped create over the past 40 years, so the least you can do you little fucking hipster douche sisterfucker is to show a little goddamned respect.