Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Briefs: Various and sundry thoughts from a long weekend

Hope you all had a great long weekend, eating spaghetti squash and ham and turkey and watching baseball where Sportsnet deigned to put the playoff games on the air.

Watching douchebags fail makes life worth living
We felt for our buddy the Red Sox fan, who came over to watch the Red Sox-Angels game in the TaoCave on Sportsnet West (the only feed on which the "four-channel offering" could be bothered to run what should be a national sports media property).

Yeah, sure, he roots for a team full of pompous douches and rat-faced little twerps (shine that MVP plaque this offseason, Mr. 72 RsBI Pedroia), but you still have to empathize at least a little bit when you watch his arsewipe closer huff and puff and blow the game for the Masshole Nation.

Nah. On second thought, you don't. Because watching Jonathan Papelbon cough up a three run lead is one of the happier moments we've seen this year.

(And a free tip for Mr. Irish Jig for next season: Mix in an offspeed pitch once in a while.)

Anthopoulos does stuff
If you were wondering whether if Alex Anthopoulos is just keeping the GM seat warm until the mythical creature known as the Next President of the Jays is found, the news that he's brought in his pal Dana Brown from his days with les Expos should at least give a sense that he thinks he's got the job long term.

We'll leave it to those who dig into the whole prospect and development side of baseball to figure out if this is a good thing. The Nats don't seem to have an overwhelming abundance of talent, and the Expos had some pretty fallow years in the draft before moving south (Josh Karp and his $2 Million-plus signing bonus, anyone?)

Simmons slurpage
Speaking of the new GM, the Sun's Steve Simmons could barely contain his glee while writing his love letter to the new regime.

"It all sounds so promising and so anti-Ricciardi that you want to believe every word and you want to run alongside him, just hoping to capture that youthful exuberance," Simmons wrote.

Not that we're wishing ill on Anthopoulos, because the fate of the team that we spend entirely too much time worrying about rests in his hands and in his decisions. But we're getting an impression that the lad is going to get cut a lot of slack over the next few years because he is just so darned nice and Canadian. (Never mind that J.P. was pilloried for years for firing top scouts and minor league staff upon his arrival, while Alex is getting a pass on doing the same.)

A Bad Week for Umpires
It's probably a good thing that the first round of the playoffs has concluded, and that the pack of umpires will be culled by half. While it is understandable that umpires are going miss a few calls and the spotlight of the playoffs will make those mistakes more evident, this year's postseason seems to have had more than its share of botched calls.

The most fun for us, though, was suddenly seeing hundreds of people late on a Friday night landing on an 18 month-old post about Phil Cuzzi, and our general antipathy towards him. Fun stuff.

Happy Reading
Just picked up Stephen Brunt's new book, Gretzky's Tears: Hockey Canada, and the Day Everything Changed, and though we're only three chapters in, we can wholeheartedly recommend it. It's on sale. Go buy it. You owe it to yourself. Brunt is a national treasure, and buying his book will only convince Knopf to keep engaging him to write more of them. Which is a good thing.

The book is so good that about five pages in, we hit ourselves over the head with it, because his eloquent, engaging, and evocative prose is so far beyond anything that we'll be able to write. (And he doesn't even indulge in corny alliteration like we just did there.)


DW said...

1/2 hour interview with brunt on as it happens from friday on Gretzky book:


eyebleaf said...

Watching Papelbon fuck up on so large a scale made everything seem right in the world, even if only for a few brief hours.

Anonymous said...

So Simmons is gushing over someone who has yet to do anything that effects the players on the field? Why, because it is too soon to obfuscate?

I don't understand why some of the retards in the press need to write so much about the inner sanctum of some gm's lair. Because it is anti-Ricciardi doesn't mean shit. I mean you can actually be anti-Ricciardi and be much worse, but if you put that across to Simmons he would probably not understand.

I guess to be a sports writer for some of the finer cat litter liners you have to brush up on your ad hominem arguments. Either that or ram an ice pick in your to the depth of 10 centimeters.

Anonymous said...

that should read 'ram an ice pick in your ear to the depth of 10 centimeters.'

Darren Priest said...

Billy Bragg should write a song about Wayne Gretzky's tears.

Sven the Swede said...

Didn't the Expos drafting Clint Everts get an extra mocking in Moneyball? I take it also that Justin Wayne's not quite going to become the new Mussina anytime soon.
Think the Sox are going to trade Papelbon in the offseason?

Paul McCartney said...


Matthew said...

Anyone pick up on Simmons' assertion that AA wants to re-sign Scutaro? It's probably just another Toronto sports writer talking out of his ass again, but if true you gotta figure it indicates at least the possibility of building aggressively in the off-season hoping to make a 2010 run. Because if it is a full rebuild then surely you let Scutaro go to get the picks?

Tao of Stieb said...

Because of his Type A status, I'm not sure that Scoots is going to get a better offer than what the Jays might float out there.

I'm kinda nervous about the possibility of Scutaro regressing and injuries being a factor with him next year...but I'd sign him for a two year deal at $2.5 million per.

I'm not thinking that much above that is a good idea.

The Southpaw said...

AA said directly in an interview on the Fan (before he got the job) that he was going to try to sign Scoot before he got to the filing day.

I'd be pretty surprised if he overpaid though. I think (i my guess is that AA thinks as well) that an offer of arbitration will be enough to deter anyone giving Scoot the big deal and he'll end up back here on our terms.

Ken Rosenthal said...

I feel like being a prick today, and this is the perfect place to be one, especially in response to this thread post.

I will now rank, and evaluate the long list of Jays bloggers, from worst to best:

1) Hum and Chuck: Joanna thinks she's smart. But she doesn't know shit about baseball. Neither does her Dad.

2) All Your Base Are Belong to Rios: Great name. Too bad the illiterate fuck can't write anything.

3) Blue Jay Hunter: A like-able little man, although his analysis is weak. Very weak.

4) Sports in the City: A parrot, like no other, who parrots the other, smarter bloggers, who are also parrots themselves. A wannabe "rudey", or "rude bwoy", if you will.

5) Bluebird Banter: A collection of stooges who think they know it all, but really know shit all.

6) Drunk Jays fans: Worn out, high-horse sitting motherfuckers, who breed more hate than a Sudanese militia during Ramadan.

7) Ghostrunner on First: Thinks he's super witty and smart, but his wit and dark humour are of the corny variety. And oh ya, FUCK ROCCO BALDELLI.

8) The Southpaw: Sound analysis and great minor league information, although he can't spell, or construct a proper sentence to save his fucking life.

9) Batter's Box: The oldest, and best Blue Jays blog, if you want to fall asleep or lapse into a coma like the old cunts who contribute to it already have.

10) Tao of Stieb: A real treat for anyone looking for a good mix of analysis and wit, although his multiple-personality disorder was getting old in 2008.

I know, there are many other Jays blogs, but they are less significant than a Ken Takahashi signing, and they can all fuck right off, because I don't read their shitty "articles" anyway.

I will however, give a big shout out to MLBastian and Mike Wilner, who actually have some clout, as opposed to you clowns who parrot them for attention. Oh ya, Go Jays Go is also legit, as its contributor knows how to shut the fuck up.

Thank you, and fuck off Parkes.

Gil Fisher said...

Scutaro's worth a fair penny more than $2.5m per year. Someone has to play short next year. Name a better option than Scutaro at $5-6m?

I agree that 2 years is the max.

Joanna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ty said...

Looks like Loewen had a pretty decent day at the plate in his AFL game today. Struck out once but walked three times, scored twice and was caught stealing once. He was raking towards the end of the season this year in the minors... definitely rooting for this guy.

Anonymous said...

Don't go MPD on us Tao!

Stedron said...

I would appreciate it if you would kindly send back my undergarments.