Thursday, October 8, 2009

The order of our playoff affections

Through 10 hours of baseball yesterday, we barely thought of the Jays or what the hell they are going to do in this offseason to further crush our spirits.

(Well, not much. Occasionally, we see Cito's face and his cackling mustache laughing at us in our mind's eye, but we're looking into medication for that. A little bourbon, perhaps.)

As for our own rooting interest in this year's playoffs, we hadn't really decided which way we were going until midway through the evening, but we've settled on the following order:

1) Dodgers - Because that outfield of Kemp, Ethier and the other dude is almost enough to make us switch allegiances. Not really. But we like the Dodgers lineup and bullpen a lot. Even Ronnie Belliard.

2) Angels - We kinda hate all the "they play the game the right way" horseshit that surrounds this team, but we still like the way Mike Scioscia manages. And we wish the Jays ownership were as committed to winning as Arte Moreno. Also: Vladdy. And Howie Kendrick's .948 second half OPS.

3) Twins - They're probably going to get the bum's rush out of the LDS, and their pitching sucks. And Jon Rauch's superdouche neck tattoo is good for a laugh. But it's hard not to like Mauer, future Jay Michael Cuddyer and Jason Kubel in the middle of that lineup. Also, Ron Gardenhire reminds us of the later vintages of Kenny Rogers.

4) Cardinals - In a way, we wish that they weren't playing the Dodgers in the first round, because we like their team. And seeing Albert Pujols come up in big situations is always fun.

5) Rockies - Ubaldo Jimenez is kinda awesome. That's pretty much our reason to like the Rockies. And maybe former Expos coach and Ottawa Lynx manager Jim Tracy.

6) Phillies - They are too good to root for. And we kinda hate them after the whole wringer that they put us through with the Halladay trade thing.

7/8) Yankees and Red Sox - We couldn't really picture ourselves rooting for either of these teams, even if they face off in the ALCS. It might be good to have the Yanks win so that they don't spend another half-billion in the free agent market next year, but we'd still hate to see it.

We can't say that we've broken down any more than that. It's all pretty much just a whim. But here's hoping for a Dodgers-Angels World Series.


KP said...

That's my order other than a flipping of the Minnesotans and the Los Angelanians of Anaheimians. The Dodgers are my NL team (because I would go crazy if I only had the Jays to root for all year) and I would dearly love to see the Twins kick the living piss out of the Skankees. But half a billion dollars in a recession can take you places. Evil, nefarious places.

A Freeway Series would be fun to watch. If it's Phillies-Yankees I'll puke. I won't even watch. Fuck MLB and the bald fact that more money = more success.

It just occurred to me that the Angels and Dodgers aren't fare behind in terms of spending but I don't care!

I'm never in a good mood when the MLB playoffs start... they should change it to NMLB... No Money = Left Behind.

Not funny... I know.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure the powers that be are hoping for a BOS/NYY ALCS and a NYY/LAD world series. The Torre/NYY storyline is a goldmine for Fox.

On the other hand, an all west-coast final would not please the powers that be.

The Ack said...

I'm down with your list, but I'm flipping the Cards and Angels. I'd like to see the winner of the LA/St. Louis series win the whole fuckin' thing.

Fuck the Yankees, Sox, and Phillies. I used to be OK with the Phils, until some choice encounters with some "Phans" during the series in T.O. Jesus Christ, win the big one and you become an insufferable asshole?

(Don't get me wrong, I'd love to test the hypothesis personally.)

brainiac said...

"Jesus Christ, win the big one and you become an insufferable asshole?"

I dunno, the 92' version of me was pretty insuferable

The Ack said...

I don't think I was insufferable enough. I really didn't take advantage of that championship window the way I should have.

Maybe I was just too fresh-faced and naive. Not now - I'm jaded as all fuck.

SP said...

I have no love for the Angel at all. The Jays were a better team from 06-08 and pretty close even this year, yet we don't have one playoff appearance to show for it to their 3. Fuck all that slap-hitting .300 nonsense too.

I guess that should mean I hate the Twins too but I love me some Joe Mauer. Plus, they are vaguely Canadian, like the Dodgers.

I'd put the Angels 5th and bump the Twins/Cards/Rockies up.

Tao of Stieb said...

Yeah, I'm no fan of slap hitters, although the sainted and beknighted Chone is really the only regular Angel who's a slappy. (And not even him, because he is a bit more of a line drive hitter than you'd think.)

The Ack said...

Talking yourself into him already, eh Tao?....

SP said...

Tao do you really want Cuddyer or do you just think he'll be a Blue Jay? He'd be a huge buy high and he can't play D.

Tao of Stieb said...

I know. It's just that I like big burly slugging hitters in the same way that some people like gritty scrappy heart and soul guys.

Cuddyer could play first or left or right. None of them well, but hopefully well enough to carry his bat.

I know that the Jays already have Lind and Snider who are weakish defenders...

Still. I likes me some Cuddyer.

KP said...

People keep likesing themselves some mediocre stuff. I don't want Michael Cuddyer. I just don't. But that just means we'll end up with him because the Jays usually end up doing the opposite of what I think they should do. You can thank me later.

Paul McCartney said...


Gay Jays Fan said...

The order of my Jays blogger affections:

1) Ack -Sexy
2) Tao - Hot
3) Stoeten - Chubby but huggable
4) Parkes - Closeted
5) Joanna - Hate that bitch!

Tao of Stieb said...

I know that Cuddyer is proabably a bad deal. Especially at $10 million per year.

And his career OPS+ is 111, exactly the same as Lyle Overbay's. So there's that.

eyebleaf said...

Dodgers and Yankees. I want to see Torre win it in "new" Yankee Stadium.

And how about that welcome back to earth for the Minnesota Twins? They're likable, sure, but fuck any team from the AL Central.

Go Angels. Hope they kick some Red Sox ass.

And according to Blair, on a scale of 1-10 that Doc is a Jay on opening day, he's taking "One."

Anonymous said...

The PTS guys were talking Jays the other night and they were being so negative (realistic?) that I was literally gazing sadly at the floor by the end of it.

KP said...

Freeway series or bust.

If we come out of the offseason minus Halladay and plus Cuddyer and I will start cheering for the Yankees.


OK, I won't actually, that's disgusting. But I'll be the exact opposite of gruntled. Polar opposite.

Tao of Stieb said...

When the PTS boys talk about the Jays, they are always unremittingly negative. Because that's what the kids like.

eyebleaf said...

Which kids? I love some mother fuckin positivity.

Tao of Stieb said...

Ah, you know, all them fucking kids with their pants hanging off their asses and the tattoos and the all that.

They like to piss and moan about stuff, and listen to people who give them more to piss about.

Dane lorg said...

1) Cards
2) Dodgers
3) Twins
4) Angels
5) Rockies
6) Phillies
7) Yanks
8) Massholes

I'd be pretty happy if either the Cards or Dodgers won it all.

Gay Jays Fan said...

Piss in my mouth Tao and stop ignoring me. It hurts.

Colin said...

I want Rockies-Twins just because Fox would be so pissed. Just please not the Yankees or the Red Sox to win it all, they get enough coverage as it is.

Joanna said...

I can get behind this list.