Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Dumpster diving for Winter Meetings news

(And note the name stenciled on the side of that dumpster: A.J. Pain. Too true.)

With the decline in the Canadian dollar (which currently sits at 0.7919 cents U.S.), this year's winter confab in Vegas looks to be an exceptionally quiet week for the Jays.

The team overspent on a few signings over the past few years of currency-related windfalls (we're looking at you, Mr. Wells). Account for the 2009 raises that are coming for most of the Jays' regulars in the middle of long term deals, and there's precious little room to maneuver for J.P. Ricciardi et al in Vegas, no matter how much A.J. Burnett, David Eckstein, or Frank Thomas money comes off of their payroll.

(Our brilliant idea: Put Lyle Overbay's entire contract on red at the roulette wheel. No, really.)

As J.P. told a group of drunken beat reporters (and MLB.com's Jordan Bastian): "Anybody we add, we're going to have to subtract...I don't think we're able to take on a lot of payroll. So if we want to do some things, we're going to have to eliminate some payroll."

Unfortunately, we don't think that the Jays will be able to eliminate payroll by bringing contracts out to the desert like they did with Joe Pesci in Casino. Although that would be kinda cool.

So given this shite state of affairs, it should surprise none of us that on the second day of the meetings, we're reading about Chris Duncan as the Jays' next designated hitter. (This is the punishment we get for speaking wistfully about John Thomson yesterday.)

Also, if you're interested, the lede in that same Bastian piece is the fourth or fifth cycle of Rafael Furcal to Toronto rumours, which are too fleeting and far-fetched to even ponder at this point.

In other news that's as depressing as a 6 am, hung-over viewing of Mike Leigh's Naked, the Jays are apparently talking to Carl Pavano. We see Pavano as an option for the Jays rotation, in as much as he has two arms (slightly used) and opposable thumbs. Aside from that, we're not sure that Pavano (5.77 ERA, 1.49 WHIP in limited innings in 2008) would be a much better option than just letting the other team hit off a tee.

Mind you, Pavano (and feel free to sing this part along with us, because you certainly know the words) does have "a relationship with Brad Arnsberg". Which, as we all know, is the best way for the front office to sell this shit as Shinola.

10 comments:

The Ack said...

FUCK!!

The Dodgers signed Hector Luna on us. Now what in the fuck are we going to do?

Torgen said...

Chris Duncan, Designated League-Average Hitter?

Anonymous said...

Put Lyle Overbay's entire contract on red at the roulette wheel. No, really.

Jesus fuck, man! Always bet on black. Didn't John Cutter teach you anything?

Torgen said...

If the team bet Overbay's contract and won, would we get two Overbays, or one player twice as good as Overbay for the same money?

dave said...

Remember a couple months ago when these winter meetings were suppose to be crazy busy for the Jays?

Torgen said...

Remember a couple months ago when every bank wasn't bankrupt?

eyebleaf said...

I love that picture. Too fitting.

woodpeck said...

xcuse me while i rant.....
i'm so downright frustrated with the current state of inaction and inability to do anything! just because we don't have the cash doesn't mean we can't and shouldn't be active at these meetings. last time i checked we had the best bullpen, some great starting pitching, some great players on the team and some great pieces in the farm system.
the time to make significant moves is not in may (frank thomas) or in July (mencherson) but in these so-called "winter" meetings (note to MLB: doesn't winter start on Dec. 21st?).
if the powers that be had any smarts or guts, they'd be working the lineup and attempting to mix things up with the positives and marketable items we already possess and turn those into equal if not greater parts (looking to the future here). the same old is not gonna cut it again (you think the yanks and red sox are standing pat? oh look, there goes CC and Tex already). there's gotta be teams out there lookin' to deal.
to sit there and cry poor is beyond all comprehension. put up or shut up!

Anonymous said...

Look the Jays can basically afford Pavano, Ponson, Clemet on cheap deals and need to add a bat like BRadley or Giambi.It's too bad Beeston isn't pushing for Manny. Yeah the Jays would lose money for a year or two BUT what if they make it into the playoffs? The money would come back.

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