Wow we're already half-way through the season and there has yet to be a Tweetbaggery session. We'll fix that in a hurry. Ohhh...Here go hell come!
And some of you took note that we asked to not be put into the position to foretell the future, and we thank you for that. It's made for much better questions. To wit, @bigmf99 throws this down: Don't sell yourself short, if you tried you could say more sooth than most. My q: What is sooth? & How does one say it?
Well, if you dig way way way back, to when Jerry Howarth was in short pants (heyo!), the word "sooth" or "soothe" meant "to affirm to be true". Which, if you really dig around, is kinda what we claim to do around here anyways. So maybe we are a soothsayer. So sooth shall we say from here on out.
Relatedy, @robert_hiltz notes: My Uncle Larry could predict the baseball future, but he croaked. Can you ask him if Cecil's velocity will be a problem this yr?
I see your Uncle...I also see that there was water...maybe he liked water, or there was a lake near where he lived...or you used to spend time with him in water...maybe you didn't realize it, but there was water and it somehow relates the two of you.
Larry is in a good place. But he is cringeing. Larry wants you to know that he watches over you...and so you should at the very least wear a towel around your place, even if the blinds are drawn. Seriously, you can't just tilt your head away when you reach the Other Side. You see all...and he means it: ALL.
As for Brett Cecil's velocity: He didn't come out of spring training last year like a house ablaze, and his fastball velocity is down about 1-2 MPH this year. If he doesn't start to touch 91 or 92 by the end of May, then we'll have worries.
Onward! @austinja asks: Any thoughts on where Brett Cecil's velocity went? Why do I lose so much on Roll up the rim to win? How's your fantasy team?
I knew you were going to ask about Brett Cecil. That's why I just answered it above. (#SoothSaying!) As to your other queries: You lose on Roll Up The Rim because the game has gotten harder. There are the same number of winners, but more people desperately buying more Tim's coffee to try to win. In any case, we recommend going elsewhere for your coffee. If you're ever in the National Capital, hit up a Bridgehead. Yeah, sure, it's all fair-tradey and you are waited on by staff with bitchin' tattoo sleeves...but bottom line, they make a tasty coffee. Yum.
And you are in the Roto-Hoedown, aren't you? So are you just looking for an opportunity to gloat? If you must know, we were curb-stomping our fellow Maritimer Luke DeWitt up until last night, and then it all went to hell. It might be a long season.
And another! @infieldflyrule asks: How awesome is Corey Patterson?
Corey Patterson is WAY awesome. Awesome like a leather jacket. (A nice one. Not a trashy one, or the one with the 8-Ball on the back. Still, awesome...But in, you know, a completely replaceable sort of way. But still. More awesome than a greased-up Lisa Dergan, at the very least. (Please wait until you get home to do a Google Image Search on "Lisa Dergen Greased Up".)
More more more! @davejhenderson (or "Hendu", as we like to call him) asks: Favorite moment of season so far? Mine would be Joonel's Sac Bunt....uh I mean opposite field walk-off.
More #soothsaying! June-Yell's walkoff was totally our favorite moment so far, along with Snider's scalding hot line drive homer and JoBau's glorious arcing rainbow (all the way!) to beat Seattle on Wednesday. We like homers.
More? Why not?! @hill_chris asks: what does Rivera need to (not) do to end up not appearing to care with another team?
Wow. There's like a triple negative in the question. We tried to read it four times, but then the universe imploded on itself, and we were spit out into a new astral plane of galactic projections. But if you're saying "Rivera looks like a zombie", we'd say "fo' sho'", and if the further inquiry is "what should he do about it so that the Jays don't trade him", we'd say play better. And then they'll trade him anyway.
And again: Sneaky bugger @hill_chris turns back time and asks a whole new question: Q: Luis Perez, really?
Wait...you again? Am I locked in a cube, stuck in time and space and I have to answer your questions to free myself? (Only to discover that I'm already dead...NOOOOO!)
To be on the safe side: Luis Perez (not Rivera, as we called him on several occasions yesterday) was called up to be a warm body at the end of the bullpen just in case the Jays had another 14 inning nut-crushing loss. They sent Brad Mills back down so that he could get his regular turn in the rotation, and Perez will hold a spot for Brandon Morrow to come back next week. It's all an intricate slide puzzle, but it seems to make sense when you work it through.
One for the ladies! @tantwy asks: who is nix and why no @blawrie13 yet?
Oh. Here go hell come.
Here's who Jayson Nix is: He is a player with 228 games of MLB experience and the ability to play at least five positions in the field and who hit 13 home runs off big league pitching last year.
Meanwhile, Gordie-Dougie Baseball Canada Stud is a guy who has yet to find a position in the field, has made four errors thus far at third in Triple-A (who you calling E5?) and who last year hit a grand total of eight home runs off of Double-A level pitching.
One day, Gordie-Dougie is going to be a fine player. We think he'll hit 40 doubles and 20 home runs, sorta like Lyle Overbay. (Who just got chased out of town for not being a big "power bat at a corner infield position". Funny about that.)
Moving on! Quickly! Before you all lose interest! @SteveASchneider asks: If you had to decide today whether or not to pick up Aaron Hill's options, what would you do?
We'd find a way to trade him, get something compelling back, and let the options be someone else's problem. And if we couldn't do that in one day, we'd hold on to him because the option years aren't that expensive, and his value may increase between now and the end of the season.
Almost home! @bkhewton asks: How good does the Vernon Wells trade look right now? Ya, ya, Sample size, I know, but still, awesome right?
Hey man, don't gloat. It's a long season, and Vernon will get some of his spaark back. But yes, ultimately, this was a great move, if only because it allows John Farrell the opportunity to mix and match his lineups, and have Juan Rivera hitting in the cleanup spot if he wants. (Wait...what?)
Sneaking one more in - we actually added this after we were already done...too many good questions this week! - @awlang asks: Are all of these close losses a good, or bad sign? Good teams usually have a great record in 1 run games, we do not.
We could be glib here, and tell you that you're reading too much into just a few results. (Which is probably more true than glib. But still.) But there's a really great article from six years ago over at the Hardball Times called "10 Things About One-Run Games", which provides a ton of links and data about who wins one-run games (good teams), and why (because they are good and have good bullpens) and why some teams don't (because they are bad, and they play to score one run). It's a great read, and you could spend the weekend on it. Please do, and report back.
Soothsaying? We go to the Other Side again, as @jhabray asks: Any chance you can ask my mother for her meatloaf recipe?
We asked. She said she's still upset at you. It had something to do with your wife...or girlfriend...a female of some sort, maybe a colleague...In any case, you chose this other female over your mother, and she still feels slighted...No meatloaf for you.
But your mother did recommend that you check out the Tao's contributions over on the handsomely-designed Orioles Hangout, where we answered still MORE questions about the season thus far along with jibber jabber from the finest of AL East blogs, Firebrand of the American League, River Ave. Blues, and D-Rays Bay. (Really, those guys are pretty great. Which shouldn't surprise, because the AL East is, as we always say, a division of MEN.)
That's it! Let's close up the old TweetBag, and call it a day. Everybody Wang Chung tonight, and have a pleasant and safe time this weekend. The Ack is back this weekend (wearing Morris Lukowich Jets jersey...soon to become relevant again!)
And say: Why does The Ack always get more comment love than we do? Not that we're bitter.