One man's DFAed trash is another man's treasure (but only at the league minimum salary)

For those of you who were getting nostalgic for the Mencherson days: MLB Trade Rumo(u)rs passes along the news (via an email from Buster Onley) that the Jays have signed David Dellucci.

Dellucci pretty much perfectly fits the Mencherson mould of a guy who had a good year or two at some point, but who has failed to much of anything since.

The signing likely means that Voodoo Joe Inglett will head back to Vegas or get his walking papers.

Nine runs is good for what ails you

(If the above image isn't the enduring scene to date for the 2009 Toronto Blue Jays, then I don't know what is. Love it. And if you don't - learn to.)

When the Jays were winning games early this season (games they probably should have lost) on the back of Aaron "what a ballplayer!" Hill, I consoled my ever paranoid self by saying:

"Don't worry, self, when Hill eventually cools off, we'll have guys like Vernon Wells heating up to pick up the slack."

Well, it turns out that I was partially correct, if not fully crazy for carrying on such a conversation. I'm not going to pile on Vernon by pointing out his woefully inadequate numbers from the cleanup spot this year. Nope, I'm not going to go there. Not going to discuss it. What I will point out is the fantastic effort delivered by the team's forgotten man, Lyle Overbay.

Overbay delivered two crushing blows (homer, double) in big spots against Royals ace Zack "not Roy Halladay" Greinke. Mix in another big fly from Adam Lind, who is just fucking nailing the baseball these days, and a three double night from Marco (marco) Scutaro (scutaro) - who refuses to cool off, by the way - and voila - Jays win.

Oh, Ricky Romero looked pretty good, too. Dominant, if we can pretend the seventh inning never happened. Performances like those are exactly what the rotation needs. It looks like our guy Arnie must have had one of those "YOU'RE A BAD MAN RICKY. A REAL BAD MAN!!" pep talks with young Ricardo before tonight's game, because he was storming off the mound looking to punch someone in the mouth at the end of each inning (I miss Mencherson).

Yeah yeah, Arnsberg was off attending his daughter's graduation or something.....you've never heard of a cell phone?

Alex Rios mans up
Do we still need to talk about this? You know, the incident where the dickless poser calls out an athlete on the street with absolutely no fear of reprisal?

I mean, I get it.....Rios comes off as a major dick for (a) refusing the autograph request, and (b) dropping the f-bomb (how dare he!)...but seriously, the guy calling him out? What a douchebag. Unless you want to play the "well, Rios makes millions of dollars a year, it comes with the territory" card. Because then you're a jealous douchebag.

Aaaaanyway, team mandated or not, Rios confessed his sins and apologized for his improprieties to the ever attentive media before the game.

"I just want to apologize for the situation that happened yesterday at the gala," Rios said. "I just want to apologize to my fans, to the team, to my teammates, because it was something I should have never done. It was a bad reaction on my side."

"That's not the person that I am," he said. "You shouldn't act like that, even if there's sites like that or people following you, trying to make you say bad things, you shouldn't act like that."

Rios acknowledged that frustration with his poor performance Thursday led to the incident.

"It was a long day," Rios said. "I kicked myself, I couldn't help the team win. It was just bad."

So, there. Are you happy now, jealous douchebag? I don't know, maybe I don't care enough about these off-field transgressions, but yeah....Jays win. Dig it.

Hotstove, Volume 1

This just in from Major League Baseball's annual GM meetings: the Toronto Blue Jays addressed two glaring needs on Monday by acquiring a shortstop and some pitching help. Welcome to the organization, Angel Sanchez and Kelvin Jimenez!

For those keeping score at home, you can add Messrs. Sanchez and Jimenez to the growing list of offseason acquisitions for the Jays, along with RHP Dick Hayhurst and IF/OF/definitely not a LHP Adam Ankieloewen (see what I did there?). Now, I'm only busting balls a little bit here, because I know these are just basic organizational moves that every team makes at this time of year....but if you think these claims and signings will make me forget about the loss of Mencherson, well, you're crazy.

Zaun files for free agency
So long, Zaunie old boy. Oh sure, there's an outside chance that the veteran catcher could come back at a discounted price to be the Jays backup behind the plate, but not much of one, I'd say. Odds are the team will go with former prospect, current AAAA player Curtis Thigpen as the primary reserve.

For my money, though, I'm hoping Brian Jeroloman shows enough in camp to earn the backup spot, as his skills behind the plate and propensity for taking a walk make him seem like an ideal backup. Why not break the kid into his future role playing caddy for JP Arencibia?

In case you haven't noticed....
...by the complete lack of professionalism in this post, the Tao is away for the first part of the week, so it's extendo Ack-talk for a few days. Now, I'm not at liberty to divulge what's keeping the Tao from this space, but let's just say that it may or may not involve a resume and a meeting with Paul Beeston. Hmmm?

What I'll remember about the 2008 season, Volume I: Mencherson

May 9, 2008. Who could forget the day. The day the Toronto Blue Jays, in an attempt to spark a waning offense, pulled off not one, but two transactions to ultimately deliver us one mythical outfielder.

May 9, 2008, will forever be known in Blue Jays history as the day Mencherson was born.

We may have had our rough times, Brevin, but we go through them with everyone - right Vernon? You hear what I'm saying, Alex? Tell the man, AJ. No no no, not you Doc - you're exempt. But don't shortchange yourself, Brev - we shared some good times all the same.

Remember the walkoff single where you managed to score yourself (see photo above, where you are punching yourself in the face)? Remember scraping balls off the outfield wall and selling it to the hapless ump for an out? Remember the numerous (and flawless, I might add) pinch-running appearances? Remember removing the burden of facing crafty ol' Timmy Wakefield from Sniderman and Young Adam Lind? Those were all you, guy. Those were all you.

Brevin Mencherson - just one of the things I'll remember about the 2008 season.

Desperate, or delusional?

Has it really been fifteen years? Really? Fifteen years since the Blue Jays have sniffed the playoffs? Let's see....2008-1993=15. Well I'll be damned. It really has been fifteen years.

Maybe that's why I'm more than willing to scream (type) "PLAYOFFS!" with every September win. Maybe that's why I'm willing to overlook the fact that making up seven games in less than a month is pretty fucking unlikely to happen. Maybe that's why I'm telling myself that a 2.8% shot at the playoffs is nothing to sneeze at. Maybe that's why it's a good thing I was holding a pair of socks in my hand and not the remote during the eighth inning of the weekend series opener in Fenway.

You see, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary (let's call that a pre-emptive strike), I'm trying really hard not to be a douchebag. No, really. You know the type. The type who downplays, or even better, shits on any success the team has - because, you know, it's over and the games don't really matter at this point anyway (see Friscolanti, Michael). I don't want to be a cynical prick, at least no more than I already am. I don't want to cheer for the Kansas City Royals. I want to cheer for the Toronto Blue Jays, 2008 playoff contenders.

Having said all that, if the Jays happen to drop one more game this weekend, fuck it - I'll be cheering for the Toronto Blue Jays, 2009 playoff contenders. I don't give a shit, I've already talked myself into it.

And that's all I have to say about that.....

Mencherson vs Linder
I should know better than to question any managerial decisions during the Gastonian (terminology hat tip) era. I think Cito's earned that free pass given the run he has this team on. And I really kinda sorta maybe agree with holding back young phenoms Lind and Snider from facing the knuckle/shitballer in the opener. But under no circumstances do I want to see the names of Mencherson in place of either (or both) of them for the remainder of the series. That's fair, right?

Curt Schilling continues his quest for supreme douchebaggery
It's been well documented that Curt Schilling is a man among boys in terms of being a d-bag. I mean, I don't think I'm breaking any new ground here. But Schilling's latest rant concerning New York sports fans literally had me laughing out loud.

"They want us to be as bitter and mad and miserable and they are," he said. "And, unfortunately, it's not going to happen."

Are you fucking kidding me, Curt? Seriously? Red Sox Nation doesn't fit the profile of bitter, mad, and miserable? Sons of Sam Horn - ever heard of the site? Actually, I know you have, because I hear you used to post there. In that case - get Van Vonderen on the phone. Someone needs an intervention.