Apparently goaded on by teammates (who likely told of the incomparable thrill of sharing your meat-gorging speed records with thousands of followers), Brett Lawrie has joined Twitter. (Said carnivore told us so.)Now, just the other day, we took note of our own Twitter account, and for someone who is little more than a nerdy simpleton shouting inanities into the ether, we're kinda impressed that we've amassed 1,640 followers in a year or more (Update: Turns out, 752 days on Twitter. Really? Holy shit.) that we've been here. We even get a certain thrill when someone who we respect suddenly takes it upon themselves to put up with our kvetching over the Sens and R.E.M.'s legacy and our feelings of inferiority to Ghostrunner's Drew. (Same guy! Only he's better! Humblebrag!)
Getting to the point, because time is of the essence: We're reasonably sure that young Mr. Lawrie will surpass our follower count within hours of signing up, and so we're proposing a handful of easily manipulated prop bets surrounding that momentous occasion.
Prop Bet #1 - Over/Under on time @blawrie13 passes my follower count. Current line is 2:15pm today.
Prop Bet #2 - Number of tweets Lawrie has posted when he passes me - Over/Under is 2.5 tweets. (UPDATE! 12:42, Lawrie posts his third tweet. Approach the cashier gingerly. We may be busting the house here.)
Prop Bet #3 - Will @blawrie13 have an actual profie pic or still the egg when he passes my follower count? (UPDATE! 12:42, He now has a profile pic. Looks like it was grabbed from a TV.)
Prop Bet #4 - Number of people Lawrie follows when he passes me. Over/Under is 8.5.
Put down your money (or make believe money, or gummy bears, what have you) in the comments.
UPDATE 12:51 pm - Lawrie's sitting at 1205 followers, four tweets, following five, one shiny profile pic.
UPDATE 2:09 pm - Lawrie's sitting at 1513 followers, still four tweets, still following five, still has a profile pic (What happens if he reverts back to the egg? Scandal!)
Update At the bell of 2:16 - DING DING DING! - Alas, young Mr. Lawrie falls short. Couple of props to be settled yet, but I'm pretty much as bored with this tomfoolery as you are.
Good night, and good luck.
13 comments:
I take the over on Prop Bet #1....unless he posts a picture of himself eating a 36oz steak in 87 seconds.
Yeah, he's slowing down. Though some cross talk with Arencibia (7K+ followers) should give him a boost.
I think I want him to stick with the egg. Better that than an iPhone-bathroom mirror picture of his abs or something.
You have to know that this all ends with a picture of his dong in the reflection of a PCL clubhouse, right?
I followed him just to add to the drama of your prop bets. I can be a total dick like that.
Reflection in a mirror of a PCL clubhouse...I think.
I've just put too much energy into this.
1 - Under
2 - Over
3 - Actual pic.
4 - Under
Twitter!!!1
If Lawrie does pass your follower count by the set time of 2:15pm, you should post a pic of yourself with a 40 ductaped to your hand looking like a douche ;)
Who cares? I can't wait until the actual games begin so I don't have to read this tripe. And there's definitely some homo-erotic undertones to this "Same guy!" shit you've got going on with Ghostrunner's Drew. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Drew's a pretty handsome guy. Has quite the presence. People are drawn to him.
Just saying.
And really...what the fuck? We're having fun here. Being silly. Horsing around. You want a pitch-by-pitch breakdown of yesterday's game?
Speaking of yesterday's game, am I the only one that really liked the Pirates bright canary yellow jerseys?
If you check out the feed of the 5th person he follows (the only non-Jay), it would appear Lawrie has had a twitter account before, but deleted.
If Brett Lawrie makes the team out of Spring Training, I will eat a pound of smoked Trout.
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