Thursday, June 4, 2009

Painless afternoon threading - LAA versus T.O.

Did anyone (Joanna excluded) realize that there is centuries-old eyebrow management technique called "threading"? We've got not idea what it involves, but thank goodness that a) we were blessed with great eyebrows, and b) we're a dude. Because that shit looks scary.

Speaking of scary, it's already 3-0, and we haven't even kicked off the thread yet. Cripes!

However, given that it is the Summer of Tallet (and don't you dare forget it, or we will remind you again), we have full confidence that the lanky lefty will pull it all back together, and it will be cocktails and dreams from here on out.

Lineups!

Heaven's Devils

C. Figgins 3B
E. Aybar SS
V. Guerrero DH
T. Hunter CF
J. Rivera RF
K. Morales 1B
M. Napoli C
R. Quinlan LF
H. Kendrick 2B

J. Lackey P

Les Geais bleus

M. Scutaro SS
A. Hill 2B
A. Rios CF
A. Lind LF
K. Millar DH
L. Overbay 1B
J. Bautista 3B
R. Chavez C
J. Inglett RF

Summer of Tallet, P

Where's Vernon?
Yeah, where is Vernon? And how many jokes will you come up with along the lines of "Well, at least he's not going to pop up here."

151 comments:

Voodoo Matt said...

First!

Who are all those people in the 5-9 spots?

eyebleaf said...

A "day off."

Wells is batting .172 at home this season. He's killing me.

Tao of Stieb said...

Never mind that: If Adam Lind hits two homers in the cleanup spot, then he'll be there for the rest of the year.

And not that he's a great choice for the cleanup spot, but at least it will land Vernon somewhere else.

(Yes, we are one of those pissing-moaning Vernon-baiters.)

Tao of Stieb said...

And fuck, wouldn't you know...I'm about to get called into two hours worth of meetings.

Fuck!

Go Jays!

eyebleaf said...

I've been patient enough with Vernon. We all have. I don't know how Cito finds it within himself to not drop him down. Lind's OPS at home is .967.

Free Adam Lind.

Voodoo Matt said...

Oh that reminds me Tao, about your post in the last game thread where you were in a meeting: He who smelt it dealt it.

Tao of Stieb said...

@Voodoo Matt

It wasn't me.

Darren Priest said...

4-0 ugh. The meeting might be an act of kindness.

Tao of Stieb said...

Meeting meeting meeting...

Darren Priest said...

5 - 1. John Lackey is shutting them down.

Darren Priest said...

Dirk "The Faceman" Hayhurst did a nice job in relief. He was facing the heart of the order and nobody got past first. Pretty hard to strike out Vlad Guerrero.

eyebleaf said...

Adam Lind 3-3!!!!!1

Darren Priest said...

Bases now loaded. No outs.

Darren Priest said...

John A. MacDonald is now pinch running for Chavez. He has the world's best job. Even I could be a pinch runner for the catcher. I would even yell, "Ha!" has I ran past the SS. Every time.

Jay said...

Nice work, men. Bases loaded, no outs, and all you can muster is a popout, groundout and strikeout. Fucking great.

Darren Priest said...

They did cash one run.

Jay said...

Yeah, but they had a great chance to make it a game again. Hopefully Lind can do some damage in the bottom of the 8th.

Darren Priest said...

Yeah, it was 2 LOB, so it sucked. Just sayin'

Jay said...

Sorry, I live in the Boston area, so all I hear about around here is the stoopid Red Sox. Thank god for the InterWebs.

Hey! Lind's 4-4! Meet your new cleanup hitter.

Darren Priest said...

2 on none out...eeeee

Darren Priest said...

Wild pitch...this is good. Blow it up, Darren Oliver!

Darren Priest said...

2 runs score on Overbay's double...still 0 out.

Why am I commenting so much? I need a life.

eyebleaf said...

BIG INNING BIG INNING BIG INNING!!!1

eyebleaf said...

DARREN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP!!!!1

I LOVE ME SOME LIND.

Darren Priest said...

Justin Speier replaced Oliver. Why is that name familiar?

Darren Priest said...

I could leave work now, but I wouldn't make it home to see the end of the game, so I must watch and post until the end...Go Jays!

Voodoo Matt said...

Speier = Belly-itcher

Darren Priest said...

Now batting for the Jays: Rod Barajas. 2 on, no outs.

Darren Priest said...

Keith Carradine is dead of an apparent suicide.

I should really start posting anonymously.

eyebleaf said...

Come on Joey Inglett. Do it for LJay.

Darren Priest said...

Pleaase don't strand 3 men. Please.

Tao of Stieb said...

Just got out of the meeting...holy tits!

Tie game! Big tits!

Darren Priest said...

Sac fly...tie game!

eyebleaf said...

0-5 for Hill. Sadness.

Jay said...

Yeah, a hit from Hill would have been nice there. But nice big inning nonetheless. Win this frickin' game, Jays!

eyebleaf said...

Fuck.

Gave it right back.

Lind is going deep to cement his role as the new cleanup hitter.

The Ack said...

Do my eyes deceive me, or did Rios really go 0-5....with 5 Ks.

eyebleaf said...

Don't look at his line. Look at Lind's.

Jay said...

Yeah, but Lind is 5-for-frickin'-5!

The Ack said...

Fuck this. I'm going back to bed.

eyebleaf said...

Fuck. Fuck Rios.

Jay said...

And...it's over. Fuck.

Tao of Stieb said...

Fucking monkey dongs.

Sorry, but that's all I have to say.

On the plus side: Does this make Adam Lind our new cleanup hitter?

eyebleaf said...

Yes. Yes it does. It better.

Hell, put Overbay third.

Rios and Wells will be the death of this team. Bastards.

Voodoo Matt said...

@Tao: Hope springs eternal.

Tao of Stieb said...

Now, we've got the red hot (7 wins in a row) Royals coming to town.

Gird your loins, Blue Jay fans.

Tao of Stieb said...

Lost in the shuffle today: Dirk Hayhurst.

No runs and two Ks.

Look out, American League of Baseball. Dirk Hayhurst is going to shave your balls.

Drew - LtB said...

You of course mean losers of 7 in a row Royals, right? Right?

Darren Priest said...

Speaking of Dirk "Starbuck" Hayhurst, did anyone else read that blog thing linked in DJF? That dude can write! I mean, really write, you know, good!

I wish he were my friend.

Johnny G said...

Yeah Tao, The royals have actually lost that many. Not won...

Darren Priest said...

Do we have to face Greinke?

Bruno Van Rottweiler said...

@DP Is this an automatic loss? Man this one could have been one today. That one run game loss scenario is coming back to haunt the Jays. Hopefully, Greinke will flop and the Jays can win. Otherwise the Rays are closer to the Jays than the Jays are to the Red Sox or Yankees....

furcifer said...

We need a nickname for wells and rios. Go here to suggest one.

http://anationofmasochists.blogspot.com/2009/06/brothers.html

Tao of Stieb said...

Hey, holy shit!

The Royals have lost seven in a row...how wrong we were!

Drew - LtB said...

Don't sweat it Tao, I was probably going to gird my loins tomorrow anyway.

Gay Jays Fan said...

So I guess Hayhurst passes Frasor in the relief depth chart? Why the fuck is Cito not pitching Frasor more? And why was Downs not brought out in the 9th inning? Fuck Cito and his bullpen management!

I want to smoke your cock Tao!

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