Fear and Loathing

Rather than mope around this space all weekend (and maybe into the next, depending....), I'm going to get all of my frustrations out in one shot. I'm doing this for you - a Blue Jay fan pity party, if you will. Let's grieve together in a series of self-loathing (semi) quick hitters.....

.....Hopefully, the pitching cyborg's strained groin isn't that serious, and he misses just one start before the engineers are able to tweak the mechanism back to optimal. I'm embarrassed to tell you how empty my life would be without the Doc for an extended period.

Let this be a lesson for all of you ignorant assholes who would even allow the thought of trading him enter your mind. Ask yourself - "Self, how much am I enjoying this time with Doc on the shelf?"

If even posing the above question doesn't bring on at least a mild bout of depression, well then, I don't think we can be friends.

.....There's good Brandon League, and then there's bad Brandon League.

.....There's bad Vernon Wells, and then there's bad Vernon Wells (heyo!).

.....Jesse Litsch, fare thee well. Last I checked, you had a few bosom buddies on the DL who just might have something in common with you.

.....Speaking of Dusty McG, when was that return date again?

.....Speaking of questionable return dates, the phenom's back might keep him out of action for how long? And it's been bothering him since when??

.....Sausage King > Bullpen Ninja? Really? Somebody help me, I seem to have a giant knife sticking square between my shoulder blades.

(I told you this was a pity party. On one thing we do agree - Beer. No exclamation point. Not tonight.)