Don't tell me the Jays are doing well in the Fake Games

La la la la la! We can't hear you!

When you say that José Bautista is hitting home runs, and so is Vernon Wells, and so is Randy Ruiz, we can't hear you. And don't even bother trying to tell us that Shaun Marcum pitched well in his first outing, or that Dustin McGowan looked like he might be showing some progress and may be on his way back. We're not going to hear you.

We're blocking out any such good news in the early going because we wouldn't want such news to find purchase in our mind, and start to grow visions of success. We would prefer to look at this all as a fluke, and to pretend that the Jays are playing bantam-level players in out-sized big league uniforms.

We should know better than to get enthusiastic in March. This is a lesson that should have been driven home by last year's squad, which was still sitting in first in May before completely falling apart and playing like the worst team in the Majors for the final three months of the season.

Still, the hopeless romantic in us wants to believe that there is something to the things that we're hearing out of Dunedin.

Marginalia - Notes on how we make editorial choices
We'd initially written something here about "don't let us look at the Fake Games results". Then we went looking for a photo of someone with a blindfold on. And that's when we realized that there are a lot of effed-up pictures of blindfolded people on the internet, and we didn't want to parse through those pictures anymore.

A weekend in The Show
So we picked up our copy of MLB 10 The Show this weekend, which was a very new and interesting experience after having played the MLB 2K games on the Wii for the past several years. If there is one thing that a uniform nerd like myself could fully appreciate, it was playing my first game and seeing Jo-Bau in his new number 19, and Randy Ruiz wearing his new number 21. The rosters hadn't quite been updated to the point of having Kevin Gregg in the bullpen, although we'll take that as a positive at this point. At least we didn't have to see last year's staff ace still on the roster, taunting us with his digital presence.

Now if we can only get the hang of this whole pitching meter thing. Because that shit is driving us nuts.

In a word, potential

It's no secret that I've paid a lot of lip service to the stockpile of young arms the Jays have in camp this spring and the potential for a frontline rotation (if not "down the road"); lip service paid without any substantial discussion behind it. Guilty as charged. I've also been guilty of piling on weak posts of scattered thoughts thus far this spring. My bad, friends. What can I tell ya?

Well, consider me enthused - here's my attempt at righting the aforementioned wrongs. Inspired by the Tao's look at the starting 9, let's have a gander at the plethora of young arms destined to fill out the Jays' future rotation(s):

The Favourites

Shaun Marcum
Who could forget the on-field interview with Marcum shortly after it was revealed he'd undergo T(B)J surgery and miss the entirety of a season (I'd link the TSN clip, but it appears to be "no longer available"). There stood Marcum, voice trembling, speaking of how what he'd miss the most was just being "on the team and one of the guys".

Marcum is now back, fully healed, and all indications are he is ready to go with no limitations. So what does he bring? A low-90's fastball, tight breaking pitch....and a filthy little change-up - his bread and butter. Marcum might not have the pure "stuff" to project as a true rotation ace, but he doesn't need to be. Assuming he can regain the pre-injury form that had him penciled in as a middle of the rotation starter - with upside as a #2 - he'll go a long way to anchoring a staff in need of a go-to guy.

Ricky Romero
Another player easy to pull for. Due to draft circumstances beyond his control, Romero has been shit on more than....well, I don't have a witty punchline for that. But he's taken a beating, let's all agree. Before fading in his rookie season, Romero was nails enough to start putting the "Tulo" sniping behind him.

In a sense, he's a lefthanded version of Marcum - a bulldog on the mound who relies on his change to make hitters look silly. Romero has more zip on his fastball, but probably less control than Marcum at this stage. Either way, they should complement each other well heading up the staff.

Brandon Morrow
You know what? I miss Brandon League already, that goofy fucker. There is no doubt, however, that AA pulled off a steal in the trade bringing over the fireballing righty. Assuming he can be a starter, and assuming Johermyn Chavez doesn't blow the fuck up into a mashing outfielder, of course.

Morrow brings something to the staff the Jays were sorely lacking - a big armed presence with an intimidating fastball. You might groan at early comparisons to AJ Burnett, but take away Burnett's occasionally shitty attitude and frequent DL trips, and what do you have? Maybe Brandon Morrow.

Marc Rzepczynski
Much like the spelling of his name, RZep is a bit of a mystery. He doesn't have a big fastball. Scouts don't rave about a nasty breaking pitch. His delivery is unconventional. He doesn't yet possess great (or even very good) control.

But somehow, despite all those "flaws"...RZep strikes dudes out and induces ground balls otherwise. I'm willing to let him pitch himself out of the rotation, and apparently, so is The Manager.

Brian Tallet
Every staff needs a long reliever who can pile up 3 inning appearances and act as the swingman to spot start when needed. Brian Tallet is that guy for the Jays. Unfortunately, he's another of Cito's faves, and I'm willing to bet he breaks camp in the starting 5.

I say "unfortunately" because, while I like the dude and see the value he brings.....I don't get why a 32 year old career reliever (for the most part) holds down a rotation spot on a rebuilding ballclub.

But hey, I'm not The Manager.

Dustin McGowan
Clearly, McGowan rates above "6th man" status when projecting a rotation, but the feeling here is the Jays will buy time and start McGowan on the DL. If Dusty's shoulder is indeed healed and he can get back to where he was on his way to becoming - no small accomplishment when considering the dreaded labrum injury - he brings the potential to give the Jays exactly what they don't currently have: a true frontline ace.

Fingers crossed.

The Immediate Future

Brett Cecil
Prior to some struggles last season, Cecil was widely regarded as a future horse in the rotation. The stuff hasn't changed, so I see no reason why Cecil can't still be That Guy. He might have a few months in Vegas in his future, but there's no way he doesn't see big league action this summer. Dude is just too talented.

Zach Stewart
Any time you can bring back a prospect like Stewart in return for an aging third baseman with declining power (bless the GBOAT) who didn't want to be here, well....you do it. Thank you, JP Ricciardi. Even if it's to debut as a reliever, smart money says Stewart breaks his MLB cherry this season.

Kyle Drabek
Assuming he can ignore the burden of living up to being the player traded for a pitching god, Drabek is sure to be a big part of the team's future. A good chunk of the season in New Hampshire, maybe a month or two in Vegas.....and Toronto at some point in 2011?

Somewhere in The Future

Chad Jenkins
The Jays top pick in last year's draft, early projections had Jenkins eventually filling a mid-rotation slot. But ya know, with the glowing early reports - reporting to camp down 20 pounds, bowling ball sinker, great attitude - he just might surprise and be more than that.

Sure to start in Dunedin or Lansing, it wouldn't be a surprise to see him advance quickly and end up in AA New Hampshire. Yeah, I'm excited.

Henderson Alvarez
All right, I know very little about this kid, except that he's young (not yet 20), acquitted himself well in Lansing, has great control, and developing stuff the scouts seem to love. Here's hoping.

Gone (for now) but not forgotten

Jesse Litsch
Don't count on seeing Uncle Jesse at all this summer as he recovers from his own T(B)J Rite of Passage. In fact, with all the arms now in the organization that weren't here prior to his injury, it's tough to say what the future holds for Litsch. He is another guy, though, that you have to pull for. He's certain to get another shot somewhere.

Long(er) shots and Camp Fodder
Brad Mills (still has potential, but unlikely to be a part of the Jays rotation?), David Purcey (one more shot?), Dana Eveland (depth play, I guess?), Scott Richmond (DL bound with "a shoulder" - uh oh) .

.
.
.

Yeah, that's a little more than "a word", I realize, but there's a lot to be excited about pitching-wise in the organization. Who'd I miss? Am I wrong?

More on The Bullpen Gospels - The Book Review Saga Continues

Editor's Note: This is the second in a series of posts, in which we stretch out our review of Jays reliever Dirk Hayhurst's narrative non-fiction tome, The Bullpen Gospels until its release date. (Available at a fine bookseller near you on March 30. Pre-order this fine book - kitty not included - at Amazon.ca, or whichever Amazon store you like. Or another online bookseller. Or an independent bookseller, supposing that they may carry it. Which they won't, because they're usually too cool to stock sports books. Pricks.)

We haven't played baseball in a competitive, organized setting in more than 20 years. In fact, aside from a lost summer as an obnoxious softball guy and a few years of chasing tail around ultimate frisbee fields, our sporting life has generally been limited to the role of an observer. And yet, there was a lot in Dirk Hayhurst's The Bullpen Gospels to which we could relate.

Sure, Gospels is a baseball book, and most of us will be drawn to it as such. We'll dig in to uncover what happens behind the scenes, and in the clubhouse. (Which, so far as we can tell, involves a lot of video games and naked tomfoolery.) But what really draws the reader into Hayhurst's account of his whirlwind 2007 season through three levels of minor league ball is the author's honesty about himself. There are many athletes who would gloss over anything resembling weakness, or frame their own emergence as a player in the rote, glorified clichés that are plentiful in the sports world: That they triumphed over adversity by being so goddamned gifted and awesome, and that God shone his special light down upon them so that they might offer their great gift to all. (The sort of story we saw repeated throughout the Olympics.)

But Hayhurst's story is so much more complex - and ultimately, rewarding - than that. While there are aspects of his life that seem anything but ordinary (Grandma and her firearms, for instance), the underlying story of Bullpen Gospels is really about two very universal things: Hayhurst's struggles with self-doubt, and his difficult transition from an extended adolescence into manhood.

The period covered in the book starts as Hayhurst is about to turn 26. It's a point in the life of many young men where, if they're at all sentient (and in spite of his out-there Garfoose tweets, Hayhurst does seem to be that), he starts to get a little more serious about who he is and what his place in the world might be. For Hayhurst, this transition and the uncertainty that goes with it are magnified by his chosen profession: If he's not about to make it, or to take a step forward, then he has to find another path.

The struggle, which is implied but never entirely stated outright, is that given the undeniable draw of a life as a professional athlete, how could anyone ever let that dream go? Especially after they've already made it past the point where so many others drop off? And yet, faced with a fourth consecutive season in High-A ball, Hayhurst spells out vividly the thought processes - both rational and irrationally emotional - that played into his decision to stick with the game. (Given his spot on the Jays' roster, we're probably not giving much away there.)

While it would seem that someone as clever and young and bright as Hayhurst would have no problem integrating himself back into civilian life, the real surprise of the book is how much the game has served as an escape. Without going to far into his motivations and background, suffice to say that Hayhurst did not have the comfortable fall back alternatives that one might expect.

(It's a narrative that, if we're being honest about how we understand race and sports, we might have expected if Hayhurst were African-American. It was an uncomfortable thought for us that we've so internalized the idea of "playing to get out of the poverty/strife" that we had a hard time rationalizing the same narrative about a blue-eyed blondish player. But that's our problem to resolve.)

Following Hayhurst's progress through that crucial 2007 season is a rich experience, and is truly the strongest element of The Bullpen Gospels. Certainly, there is lots of fun to be had as well (what with the "SpiderMan-ings" and the unwanted animal visitors in the bullpen), but the heart of this book is walking alongside Dirk as he conquers his internal demons, and subsequently seeing his life and career take a crucial turn for the better.

We sports fans and amateur analysts often reduce those positive changes in a player's career path rather glibly ("he flipped a switch", "he made an adjustment", "the player's development"). But beneath the player (and the counting stats and the rate metrics) is a human, who has to understand their weaknesses and evolve themselves beyond them. That whole idea of transcendence is, as Steve Earle once said, a painful thing. The reader of The Bullpen Gospels is privileged to share that moment with a player who has the self-awareness to understand the process, and the humility to work through it.

You'll find yourself rooting for him all the more by the book's end. (Speaking of which: Get well soon, Dirk.)

In our next episode: We'll focus on the monkeyshines. There are scooters, dramatic cases of the scoots, pressed hams and pleas for nudity made from moving vehicles. Good times.

Let the Fake Games begin

They don't really count, or matter much. They produce goofy boxscores, and feature dudes running around willy-nilly in the outfield. They are overanalyzed, and make heroes out of guys like Simon Pond and Jason Lane.

In just about three hours from when we're typing this, the Spring Training Fake Games begin.
And even as we denigrate these games, and mock their worth, we know that we'll spend at least ten minutes out of our busy day today going over the results and parsing through the most microscopic of sample sizes.

There is something about this moment of the year that is positively sublime. It's like hearing the spine crack as you open a new book for the first time. Or like that moment when you pull the plastic off a new CD. Your mind races at the possibilities, and you can't wait to dig in and absorb every new moment, and every new thought and emotion that lies ahead. There's even something great about the feeling of trepidation that you might have leading into the season, with so many questions left to be answered, and so much uncertainty.

After a long winter and a long offseason, it's a moment like this that reawakens the soul of a baseball fan. Come what may in this truly transitional season for the Blue Jays, we're so happy to get things started. This is going to be fun.

Fake Games on TV! For reals!
Last night, we looked ahead on our interactive programming guide to see if, perchance, there may be a ball game on some time this week. What we weren't prepared for was just how many games will be on over the weekend. Between Sportsnet picking up the games from other team-owned networks (what a concept!), the Mets games on WPIX and the Cubs and White Sox games on WGN, there will be lots of opportunities to catch the start of the preseason.

Now, if only we could fluke our way into seeing a Jays game at some point...that would be cool.

The Manager's not messin' around

We've already said that we're going to stop investing what little patience we have left - what with the entirety of the lunacy that the world throws at us on a daily basis - on The Manager's goofy player personnel machinations. It's just not worth it. We can tough it out. We can soar above this. We can be strong and wait until The Manager shuffles off to his post-managerial career as a greeter at Gate 5 and know that someone is going to come in at some point and make some goddamed sense of this team.

But then you see this tweet from Bastian with the Jays' first lineup of the Spring, and you start looking for something against which you can bash the rational thoughts out of your frontal cortex.

We get that these are the Fake Games. That they are meaningless. That they don't count for shit. But when you look at that lineup, and you see Travis Snider hitting ninth behind John Buck, Jeremy (.669 OPS) Reed and Alex Gonzalez, it kinda makes you lose your faith in humanity.

Putting Snider in ninth, especially behind Reed and Gonzalez, is a clear and undeniable message from The Manager to Travis and to all other Jays players: Don't fuck with Clarence. You might complain about how he's doing things, or how negative he gets when he grunts out some incomprehensible rationalization. But don't take The Manager or his boys to task for the way they do business, or you'll find yourself at the ass end of things.

On optimism, new faces, and old familiar faces returning

There are moments in this offseason where we find ourselves slipping further into despair over the outlook for our team. Could we really handle the fifth place finish that most of the pre-season prognosticators have foreseen for the Jays? Could we continue to show up in our blogging pants day after day if this teams slides back? Are we prepared for a long, miserable season?

Then, we snap out of it. What would Mom say if she knew that we were sending such terrible, negative thoughts out into the universe? Are we asking for the failure that we so fear? Why can't we just be happy, and enjoy this moment for what it is?

(Sorry. We're kinda losing our rational stoicism through this winter. Maybe it's a vitamin D thing.)

If there is one thing that has stoked the fires and really got us geeked for the coming season, it's the sheer number of new faces in the Jays camp, as well as the familiar faces that didn't make an appearance in 2009. We're amazed at how excited we get when we see a newish face in the crowd as we take a gander at the photos being posted by Jordan Bastian through his Twitter account, and glancing through the shots on Daylife. We're even getting a bit excited when we see marginal players, who we assume might make their way to Vegas or get their walking papers before the end of March.

Hey look! There's José Molina, blocking what must have been an awesome February slider in the dirt! There's Brett Wallace, with a first baseman's trapper, wearing number 46! (Snider's 45 and Wallace is 46...there's something to that, isn't there?) There's Alex Gonzalez, who is suddenly growing on us as an everyday option at short...unless the better option is Mike McCoy. (Look at that fielding form!)

Even more encouraging for us are the faces of Dustin McGowan and Shaun Marcum. While we don't necessarily anticipate them stepping in and blowing the roof off the Dome immediately, we've started to look at their return to the pitching staff much in the way that we would think of two prospects about to emerge into their big league roles.

Sure, people can dump on the lack of prospect depth in the Jays' system, and the losses in terms of big league talent. But we think that misses the point. People who have this team pegged as the worst in the league they'll have so many players in uniform in 2010 who were not a part of the late season meltdown last year. Maybe more than any team (or at least as much as any team that we follow obsessively), the Jays will have more turnover in their lineup this season.

We don't want to sink into pat, management seminar clichés of how "change = good". But, given the alternative route of picking apart the weaknesses and building the case for the team's downfall, we prefer to embrace the newness of this team. The number of new names and numbers on the jerseys at the very least gives us something new and compelling to wrap our head around in the coming months.

A whole lotta thoughts

As spring progresses, I plan on bringing my "A" game....which is, you know, still several notches below "adequate". Honest. Fucking honest! But for now, with the players settling in and the roster storylines still developing.....I got nothin' but quick thoughts.

.....I'm all over Travis Snider this spring. All over the dude. You'll recall me recently bringin' the hyperbole over the phenom's attitude heading into camp, but actions do indeed speak louder than words. Well, The Future strolled into camp in (apparently) great shape, and has tweaked his batting stance - something suggested last season but ignored. Opposite field fury, now coachable too!

.....This can't be overstated: Shaun Marcum's refusal to don the new BP cap for spring workouts is the stuff of legend. Never mind the bullshit and debate - that's your opening day starter.

.....So what's all this about the Jays interest in Cuban defector Jose Julio Ruiz anyway? A left handed hitting first baseman with gap power? Sound familiar? I suppose if he can be shifted to left field, a signing might makes sense. Consider me "intrigued".

.....Rumored interest in fellow Cuban SS Adeiny Hechevarria might make more sense. Of course, I know nothing of the talent either of these fellas possess, so there you go. But hey, I'm willing to buy into any and all hype around a potential "shortstop of the future".

.....via Drunk Jays Fans, I like the cut of Alan Ashby's jib. Seems the team's radio colour guy, like many of us, cannot for the life of him understand (or get behind) another year of The Manager. Last season, I happened to be listening to the radio broadcast (which is a miracle in & of itself, since radio coverage "out here" sucks) the day news broke of the clubhouse dissent. Still in a state of shock (where the fuck did that come from?), I was even more surprised to hear Alan & Jerry talking about the situation....of which they seemed anything but surprised. We'll know Ashby's true feelings if we hear him referring to "Clarence Gaston" at any point this season. Boo-ya.

.....At least Brian Dopirak's name is getting a token mention of being involved in a spring battle. Of course, it's a competition for a spot with fellow underdog and blogger fave Randy Ruiz for about 150 AB's. It's true what they say about backup quarterbacks, but when you've experienced Kevin Millar as your starter, it's an understandable position to take.

.....Baseball Prospectus goodness: "Youkilis isn't much fun to watch for non-Red Sox fans. he's an ugly, sweaty, man-beast with a pale, bald pate and a fondness for overgrown facial hair, he's got one of the game's most irritating batting stances, and he's a grade-A red-ass who takes particular exception to being pitched inside while standing on top of home plate (most recently trying to Oddjob Rick Porcello with his batting helmet following an HBP)."

Truth! I'll skip the next few sentences of the profile which go on to describe him as essentially one of the most valuable players in the game (also true). Why would I transcribe that?

It's gut-check time for Randy Ruiz

Yep, it's smaller. But still delightfully lucky when you touch it. Ruiz is looking so lithe, in fact, that The Manager is actually making the sane (if obvious) point that he deserves a chance to prove himself.

Meanwhile, AA is pitting Ruiz against Brian Dopirak in a Hell in the Cell Spring Training Death Match for one spot on the roster. And while we are rooting for both of them to break on through, we're going to have to side with the Brooklyn Buddha in this battle. (And this, in spite of the fact that Dopirak has been seen in New Balance kicks, which strikes us as the absolute coolest cleat choice ever. And those things matter to us.)

Speaking of aesthetics...
Note that Shaun Marcum is still refusing to wear the stupid NASCAR pit crew hats that New Era and MLB have mandated. You know why? Because Shaun Marcum won't lower himself to that sort of bullshit templated erroneous design. Which is why he's the ace of our staff. Because he's fucking nails.

So what Vernon is saying is...

So, if we're reading every story put out yesterday by every writer covering the Jays correctly, Vernon Wells is starting to feel like this is his team.

Really. Seriously, Vernon. That's where you want to go with this.

Somehow, over the past dozen years, there was something missing for you, because there were always those pesky folks blocking your way. Like Carlos Delgado. Or Roy Halladay. But now that those perennial All-Stars, Silver Sluggers, Cy Young winners and Sporting News AL Players of the Year are out of the way, you can feel comfortable enough to stretch your shit out and feel like the man of the house around Dunedin.

(Never mind the fact that there are two incumbent Silver Sluggers in your lineup who are on the cover of the Canadian editions of all the baseball preview magazines this year. Ignore that altogether.)

And here's the really sad part for us fans: If this has somehow become "Vernon's Team", it is due far more to the attrition of talent around him rather than his stepping forward and claiming that title for himself in any of the past four seasons.

And don't get us wrong here: We would really love to see Vernon and his Manboobs of Glory triumph over the AL and have him go 30/100 again. We even suspect that he could do it. But to be frank, there's something that is way wrong in that dude's head.

The Parade of Links to Vernon's Leadership Declarations

Griffin: The time has come for Wells to make the Blue Jays his own (Professor Griff, The Star)

Jays leadership role to Wells (Bobby Mac, The Globe and Mail)

Wells takes on leadership role (Bastian!)

It's his team now (Arash Madani, Sportsnet)

Wells is back in the swing of things (Ken Fidlin, Sun)

And to be fair, we've taken the bait, as have most of our blogging compatriots. (Although much praise is due to GROF's Drew and his actual statistical researching and pie-charting of Vernon's issues. Where we play the dime store psychologist for Vernon, he plays clinical psychiatrist.)

Still, this story takes on a predictable echo effect. Sorta like the Edge's guitar in the last few U2 albums.

Filling out our lineup card

Here's the thing about point our accusing finger at The Manager: As your didactic grandma might say, you end up with three fingers pointing back at you.

Ultimately, we'd concur with some of the kids who noted that The Manager doesn't have the most spectacular depth of resources from which to choose, and when taken in the context of the guys at his disposal, it's not totally nutty-cuckoo to think that José Bautista might be the most appropriate leadoff hitter on the team.

Our quarrel with The Manager, we suppose, has less to do with his actual tactics and more to do with the process by which he arrives at them. In some ways, we'd rather hear The Manager make a sound and rational explanation for the wrong move than to stumble blind into the right one. As MLB.com's Cory Schwartz is fond of saying: "Don't confuse the process with the outcome."

As yesterday went on, and folks challenged us to come up with a better lineup, we were given some pause. Could we actually fill out a better lineup? And does it even matter?

We're supposing here that lineup construction does matter, because we don't put a ton of faith in the projection systems. (And that's a whole other series of posts that we'll get into eventually.) As such, here's the two basic lineups that we would fill out for the Jays for the initial first few months of the season.

On the typical day, when they'll see a righty, we'd send them out like this:

1. Overbay, 1B: Lyle-O has the best OBP of any hitter on the team, and we'd rather have a guy who can get on base and move along with the offense behind him as opposed to a guy who gets on at a sub-.300 clip and can steal a bag here or there.

2. Hill, 2B: Wait...what?? Yeah, you read right. We'd far prefer to have Hill hitting fourth or fifth behind Adam Lind. If Vernon Wells were to demonstrate that he was able to make solid contact on a regular basis, we'd move him up here.

3. Lind, LF: Yeah, we'd put Lind in the field, and we'd leave him third in the lineup. At least, we would in this lineup, to keep a left-right balance. Plus, Lind still brings a high OBP, so keeping him towards the front of the lineup (rather than fourth, as we'd prefer) isn't the worst sin ever.

4. Ruiz, DH: Get some guys on in front of Ruiz, and let's just see what sort of monkeyshines he can create. If he struggles in the first month, maybe you move him down to sixth in the lineup, but we'd be willing to take a shot on a guy who hit a homer every 11.5 ABs and who slugged .615 in his limited time in the Bigs.

5. Snider, RF: Once again, we're leaning on a left-right-left lineup construction towards the top of the order. Plus, we'd like to put the Great Rosy-Cheeked Hope right in the middle of the lineup and let him learn by putting pressure on him, rather than "protecting" him further down the order and keeping him on the bench against lefties.

6. Encarnacion, 3B: We've run out of lefties at this point, so we're pretty much just taking the best bat available. Encarnacion stands out to us as a guy who could have a pleasantly surprising year. Moreover, he sports a career OBP of .341, higher than Wells' .329. He'd be a guy that we'd watch closely in the first few weeks, but we'd be willing to take the shot on letting him produce from the bottom third of the lineup.

7. Wells, CF: We'd like to put Vernon down a bit farther in the lineup to create an atmosphere where his free swinging ways can create runs if the guys ahead of him get on base. If his wrist is right and his swing comes back and if he doesn't look like he's gorged himself on Texas barbecue all winter, we'd consider moving him up the second, or sixth or even (gasp!) cleanup. But he's got to prove it first.

8. Buck, C: Because of the two dudes left, he's the better hitter.

9. Gonzalez, SS: Great glove.

And on those odd days, when they get a right-brained southpaw, we'd send them to the plate in this order:

1. Bautista, RF: Wait, isn't this what The Manager said? Well, yeah. But we'd reserve this spot for when at LHP toes the rubber, given JoBau's career .360 OBP and .478 SLG versus lefties.

2. Hill, 2B: Again? Yeah, for pretty much the reasons listed above. And it makes us wonder if the Jays didn't miss out big time on Johnny Damon. Although we're willing to let the Tigers that that $8 million gamble.

3. Lind, DH: No real change...

4. Ruiz, 1B: ...Though we'd let Ruiz have his turn in the field and sit Overbay, so long as he is here.

5. Wells, CF: We bump Wells up versus lefties, given his career .859 OPS (.364/.495) against them.

6. Encarnacion, 3B: Eddie's numbers against lefties actually stack up against Wells' (.370/.461), but we'll give the nod to Vernon given his higher slugging.

7. Snider, LF: We'd keep him in the lineup, and let him work his shit out versus lefties. Because if he's the face of the franchise, he's going to have to start hitting them sooner or later.

8. Buck, C: Well...Where else are you going to put him?

9. Gonzalez, SS: Nice glove.

As always, your input is warmly welcomed. (So long as you agree with us and flatter us along the way.)

The Manager is going to be the death of us (if not the team)

For the sake of our future children, and our sanity, and our heart health, and the safety of others, we really should not read anything that The Manager has to say.

The fact that he even has a job with the team headed into this year, and that he's decided that it is best for him and the team if he hangs out and lets all of the newcomers to the team have the opportunity to sniff his glorious carcass for the next nine months drives us insane. The notion that every time we tune into a game this year, we'll get to see The Manager propped up in the dugout like the corpse of a once-great man is enough to make us want to take a year and really get into the CFL.

We know better than to try to parse The Manager's thoughts on the best way to run the team, because madness is sure to follow. And yet, we just can't help it. We can't keep ourselves from reading the crazy-ass things that he throws out there, almost willy-nilly: Hill and Lind need to stay where they are in the lineup; Vernon's confidence will get tore down if he loses the cleanup spot; it's going to be easier to manager the rotation now that Doc's not here; Brett Cecil might be on the outside looking in. It's all such crazy-ass shit.

We could get into a whole deeper discussion as to what this means, and whether if our current frustration with The Manager makes us feel stupid for ever having revered him. But since GROF already went there splendidly and eloquently, and we prefer not to pick those scabs in our psyche just yet, we'll let it slide for now.

For the time being, we're just going to try to find the positive. We're going to put our trust in AA and Bruce Walton (who we're convinced is going to be awesome) and Brian Butterfield (who is and always was awesome). We're going to look for solace in the quiet turmoil.

Because we might not last the year if we really started to put any energy into The Manager's last stand.

The Bullpen Gospels - A Book Review in Many, Many Parts

Editor's Note: This is the first in a series of posts, in which we meander our way through a review of Jays reliever Dirk Hayhurst's narrative non-fiction tome, The Bullpen Gospels. We're going to review the book bit by bit, and piece by piece, because we're just not the sort of cat who can sum up our thoughts neatly in 600 words. And because we'd like to stretch this out to continue pimping Mr. Hayhurst's book between now and the time that it is released on March 30. (So much for critical detachment, right?) By the way, you can pre-order this puppy at Amazon.ca, or whichever Amazon store is most geographically correct for you.

It's hard to resist the temptation to turn this review into a series of blurb-o-matic statements, meant to sum up the book in a glib and snappy manner. We've probably written about a dozen one-liners meant to make their way onto the dust jacket (which, we realize, has already been printed, and already features zippy blurbs from Keith Olbermann, Bob Costas, Rob Neyer and Cy Young's ghost. So much for that.)

We want to say things that sound really cool, like: "The Bullpen Gospels is a work of remarkable honesty and insight." (Because it totally is.)

Or we want to say: "Dirk Hayhurst demonstrates a self-awareness rarely encountered in professional athletes. The Bullpen Gospels is a funny, frank and revelatory look into the uncertain life of a young player on the cusp of losing the last remnants of his prospect status." (And the book is certainly all of that.)

We might even be tempted to offer up a notable quote, like: "The Bullpen Gospels goes places that you simply don't expect from an baseball bio. It offers up painful and unvarnished looks into the psyche of a young athlete which vividly portray the fragility of a pitcher's confidence, and the hard road traveled to develop the poise necessary to succeed in the game."

(We also really wanted to work the word "perspicacious" into the review, both because it is a really fun word, and because it truly sums up Dirk Hayhurst as an author. And given that this is part one of a multi-part series, there's still time.)

But, if we're dropping the sheen of quotatiousness and being really real with you, we'd say this: Beyond being a really great baseball book, The Bullpen Gospels is a book that speaks as eloquently as any that we've read on the gripping power of doubt, and the arduous process of transcendence. And on that level, it's far more than just a baseball book.

It's a good time to be a Blue Jay

(full credit for the above photo to intrepid reporter Jordan Bastian. If you're not following @MLBastian on Twitter....well, you oughta' be. You can't pay for this type of spring training coverage.)

"It's a good time to be a Blue Jay"

....and with that, we're off and running.

Before we get started, let's get one thing out of the way....if you think that I'm above a hackneyed, cliche-riddled blog post on the beauty of spring training, well.....you obviously haven't been following along.

Seriously, is there anything better than the start of camp? New faces trying to show they belong. Old faces battling to maintain their spots. Players in their prime establishing leadership position. Which brings us back to the quote above.

If fans of the team were worried about a leadership void after the trade of the Jays heart and soul, Aaron Hill is showing he's ready to be The Man inside the clubhouse. That's big. At the ripe old age of 27, Hill spent his first day in camp setting the bar for all current and future Jays:

"I hope these guys know what kind of opportunity they have," Hill said. "If I'm seeing it, I just hope that they see it. I love seeing guys really get after it and fight for it. I hate seeing young guys, or anybody, that just expects to be given something. You should always work for whatever it is -- not just baseball. I want to see the edge, the fire in these guys' eyes, to get out there and just kick some butt."

Hill has a unique perspective in that he's had to battle hard to get back on the field after the knockout blow by that goon Eckstein (heyo!). Realistically, I don't think anyone should expect the second baseman to belt 36 home runs again this season, but Hill is already showing his value to the club lies far beyond that.

Catching up with Doc (already)
I can't wait for the time that I can read a Halladay-related article without my heart sinking. Here, Griff (who's a monster in the spring, by the way) finds ol' Roy still saying all the right things and doing nothing to ease the pain.

Do a quick google news search, if you're brave enough, and you'll find a boatload of the requisite articles detailing how the Phillies youngsters are soaking it all up, getting into camp earlier than ever, sponging up the knowledge, etc. Ugh.

....and getting to know Drabek
It's not all sad times. Now that spring has arrived, we'll get a chance to learn more about the future of the club, starting with this quick piece on key rotation piece Kyle Drabek.

Nothing groundbreaking here, except for the money quote:

"I kind of like blue."

Because every catching depth chart could use a Molina

At last, our long Molina drought is over.

Jordan Bastian (in between snapping photos of pre-report pitching and catching and dreaming of the day that he and Eddie Vedder have a barbecue and solve the world's problem, one power chord at a time) tweeted the news that the Jays have signed another of the catching Molina brothers, locking up José for $800 K, or $400 K, or something. (It got a little confusing there for a moment.)

And right then, for just a moment, we considered going to Fangraphs to compare the offensive numbers that Molina put up in comparison to Raul Chavez. But then we realized that it would be a bit like having Jim DeRogatis come listen to your 18-month old pounding away at their Fisher Price xylophone. It's a lot of work to find out not much of any relevance.

Okay, screw it. We'll bite.

In 52 games with the mighty mighty Yankees in their Matchbox stadium, Molina put up a .560 OPS (.292 OBP, .268 SLG). That is the lowest slugging percentage that we've ever seen for a man of Molina's significant girth. And there is something really and truly wrong about being a fat slap hitter. (Which is why we quit the game.)

Raul Chavez, on the other hand, sported an exemplary goatee and this moustahce combo under his catcher's mask last season for the Jays. He also put up a .632 OPS (.285 OBP, .346 SLG) in 51 games last season.

And we'd tell you what the projection systems think he'll put up, but we doubt that they have anything more to say that whatever we would just make up on the spot.

What interests us most at this point is how many times either player gets referred to as a "catch-and-throw-guy" in the next three weeks versus the number of times that Travis D'Arnaud gets called "catcher-of-the-future" and J.P. Arencibia gets referred to as "stagnating prospect".

We don't know about you, but our love for John Buck just grew a little bit deeper.

Uniform templating creates ugly uniformity

We're kinda caught between a rock and a hard place today. We want to write a celebratory post on the fact that the pitchers and catchers for some teams will report for active Spring Training duty today. But on the other side, the Jays won't officially pop the top on their Spring activities for another four days. So really, what milestone are we celebrating today?

Maybe we can celebrate the fact that MLB and New Era have outdone themselves this year in creating a crappy, goofy-looking batting practice cap. While the new edition doesn't feature the weird cut-out panels above the ear like the last iteration, they have managed to sully the front panel and bill with racing stripes in what appears to be an appeal to NASCAR fans.

This is why creating design templates to apply across the entire league is a bad idea. If one or five teams decided to do something outlandish with their uniforms (e.g. White Sox short pants, Astros' starburst, Pirates' square caps with stars), then that's a bit of fun colour and enhances the experience of being a fan. Those things become touchstones that you can laugh about or defend (ironically or otherwise). But when the league hands down an edict that says all teams shall comply with the new template, and they shall all feature ear flap panels or racing stripes, then there's no room to compare and contrast the individual aesthetic choices of the teams. And where's the fun in that?

To prove the point: Take a gander at all of the caps, you'll notice that the ones that look the best - Cleveland, San Francisco and Seattle - are the ones that do their best to hide the template components.

If the game is, as Jerry Seinfeld said, all about laundry, then it would be nice if the league would allow a little more diversity amongst its clubs. Just because they are called "uniforms", it doesn't mean that the league needs to mandate uniformity.