That. Was. Awesome.

We hauled our sleepy carcass into work late today, still shaking out the cobwebs and piecing back together the most exciting single day of baseball that we can remember. We're not sure if much of what we think we gleaned from the evening makes sense, but join us as we attempt to make sense of this Game 162 madness.

Love the Narrative. Ignore the Narrative: It's a bit odd as a guy who spends an inordinate amount of time punching out words about baseball to tell people not to follow the storyline of the season. We love the long and deliberate narrative to a franchise, with each season as a volume and each game a single page. At the same time, there are some standard lines that start to emerge that tell a much less interesting story about how this season reached the end of this chapter.

"Choke". "Collapse". "Destiny". Words that make it sound as though the postseason berths were lost or won based on a lack of moral fibre or the good graces of some benevolent overseer of the fates. But in the case of Boston and Atlanta, it was a dearth of decent starting pitching (or a lack of judgment on how best to use the pitching at their disposal) that really led to the teams' decline over the final month. Injuries to Clay Buchholz, Tommy Hanson and Jair Jurrjens left both the Red Sox and Braves scrambling to find starters down the stretch, while the Cardinals pitched okay enough and the Rays ran out a seemingly endless supply of strong starters night in, night out.

The Red Sox really seem to have a bare cupboard when it comes to starting pitchers, in part due to trades but also because they haven't seemed to really develop a top flight starter through the draft or their system since Buchholz. They also seemed unwilling to move Alfredo Aceves out of his long-relief role, even though he may have served them better starting some of the games they were doling out to Tim Wakefield (and his historic pursuit of a round number), Andrew Miller or Kyle Weiland. How many games did Aceves enter in the early innings to attempt to patch up the mess that those unworthy starters left ahead of him?

Meanwhile, Fredi Gonzalez had plenty of young starters who could have stepped in down the stretch, but chose to shunt them to the back of his pile while giving more innings to Derek Lowe, because of his "proven veteran" status. Julio Tehran, in particular, started the second half of a double-header on September 8th, then got just two subsequent relief appearances, while Lowe was rocked over his final five starts to the tune of a .985 OPS against and an 8.75 ERA. Would the youngster have been any worse than that?

You Don't Have to Be Rich...to Rule My World: Staying on the topic of pitching, it's worth noting (especially for Jays fans) that the Red Sox entered this season with expensive free agency acquisitions John Lackey and Daisuke Matsuzaka as part of their starting rotation. Both are locked up for next season at contracts worth about $16 million and $10 million respectively...and Lackey's deal stretches on to 2014. (With an option for 2015, which is just the unnecessary clown horn squeak at the end of the farce.)

And the man who couldn't make the sliding catch in left field to save the game for the Red Sox? Carl Crawford's taking home more than $20 million per year over the next six years as his reward for posting a sub-.700 OPS, which are marginally better numbers than Juan Rivera and Corey Patterson managed for the Jays.

Perception is a funny thing, and in those moments through the winter and spring, people couldn't conceive of a scenario where these Boston Red Sox weren't one of the all-time powerhouse teams, because of the investments they made. We were pounded all season long by fans who called us a shill or a sheep for refusing to wail at the Jays' ownership to spend at the same or a "competitive" level with Boston. In the end, the Jays managed nine fewer wins than the "greatest team of all time" in a transitional season.

It would be nice to think that the manner in which the Red Sox finished the season could tamp down a bit of the disdainful conventional wisdom, and the condescending "you gottas" when it comes to what the Jays do next. We're not banking on it.

Sharing the Impossible: Okay, we apologize for turning the visceral thrill of last night's games into another opportunity for us to be pedantic. Sorry. Because really, after a night like that, we should still be in a mood to bask in the incredible moment for a little while longer.

We listened to the Rays radio broadcast as we watched the game last night, and we're not sure that we'll ever forget the call by Andy Freed and Dave Wills. To hear them caught up in the incomprehensible moments, and to hear the fun that they had from the Longoria three-run shot to Dan Johnson's improbably two-strike, two-out, pinch-hit, game-tying homer in the bottom of the ninth, right through to Longo's game-winner in the 12th was a head-spinning experience, especially as they remarked about how different it was to observe all of the simultaneous online commentary from around the world. It was quite possibly the greatest game in the team's history, and we were happy to share with their fans, and with our many friends and followers on Twitter. It really magnified the moment.

The Rays are a rival, and we kinda hate those guys. But just for last night, it was pretty cool to root along with them. And while their success should give us pause for the Jays' chances over the next few years, we actually ended the night feeling a bit hopeful for what can happen when you build your team the right way.

9th inning nervous breakdowns

So there we were, safe at home and comfortably ensconced on the couch with the lovely and generous Mrs. Tao after a night of birthday boozing topped off with some ill-advised McNuggets. The Jays were leading in the ninth, and there's no way the fates would allow us to suffer through another late inning shitshow. Right?

Oh, how we wish the fates truly intervened in such things.

A great take-out slide from Ben Zobrist, a ballsy suicide squeeze, some more relief pitcher nibbling and Carl Motherfucking Crawford, and suddenly a series win turns precisely into the aforementioned late inning shitshow. By the end of it, we were sure that someone had laced our sweet and sour sauce with something goofy, because nothing seemed to compute any more.

And the rest of the night turned into a full blown peyote vision or fever dream or something. Junior Griffey retires? Armando Galarraga throws a perfect game? Except that he doesn't. because the grumpy dad from that American Chopper show miss the easy call by a full stride at first base? The sports channels lead off with three baseball stories, on the night of a Stanley Cup Finals game? My god! Someone, strap me down! I hear the Sirens singing!

By the time I had sweated out the rest of my booze and grease at about 3 am, we were sure that we'd imagined most of the evenings events. But if we hadn't, the one thing that we could rationalize about them was this: The Rays are a really good team. The sort of really good team that is going to make you work for all 27 outs, and that can make you fill out the full column on your scorecard at any given time. That's why they're in first.

And that's why we shouldn't completely take this series to mean that the Jays aren't good. They took the Rays to the limit in all three games, and with some sturdier bullpen work and bullpen management, they could have taken all three games.

Hopefully, we're not drifting to far into cliché here - we're not sure that the booze is totally out of our system, so this might be an "I love you guys, man!" moment - but we're optimistic that the Jays could walk away from the series and use is as a learning moment. Maybe all of that character-building hokum is real, and the team is going to walk away with the notion that they should have won, and they could have won, and most importantly, they are going to win next time.

And then they can take their frustrations out on the Yankees. Who deserve it.

It's the AL East, son

And now, this season gets serious. Over the next six days, the Jays get their first real taste of the AL East (because we're already saying that Baltimore doesn't count.)

If you want games that "matter", then take heed: These are the games that matter.

Last year, the Jays' schedule against the Only Division That Matters was almost entirely backloaded, with their first meeting against the Unholy Trinity coming on May 19 in Boston. And it was pretty much on that evening in Boston that the then unstoppable Blue Jay machine was pretty much stopped in their tracks.

(And to be honest with you, we're not sure that we've recovered yet from that Tim Wakefield junk-ball-palooza, after which the Jays hitters went into such a prolonged slumber that some of them may have had their organs harvested without waking up. Which would go a long way towards explaining Lyle Overbay.)

Make no mistake: These are the games that matter, and this is where the fortunes of this team are determined. The Jays were 20 games under .500 against those three teams (and an even .500 with the Orioles, if that matters), so effectively it was that significant chunk of the schedule that sunk any hopes of respectability. Conversely, the Jays were 49-41 outside of their division. Which is kinda respectable, even for a team that people wrote off as a disaster.

(Go ahead. Sing it with us, because you know the words: "My Kingdom for a Balanced Schedule!")

Let's get this party started right
So if this wholly inequitable portion of the schedule has to get started somehow, we can't think of a much better pitching matchup than tonight's. The Dreamboat himself, Brett Cecil, will take the mound in the air-conditioned tomb of Tampa versus the dastardly Matt Garza, who owns the Jays (6-3, 1.70 ERA and 1.12 WHIP in 10 career starts against the Jays.) And still, we'd rather face him than Wakefield.

(If only we weren't going to be blind drunk by the time the first pitch is tossed.)

Dreaming impossible dreams of third place

Who says the Jays aren't playing meaningful games in September?

Trailing the third place Tampa by a mere 7.5 games, the Jays have the opportunity this weekend to make up more than half of that margin with a sweep of their four game series against the once-mighty Rays. And we're only being about 86% facetious when we say that.

Sure, this season has descended from tragedy into farce in recent weeks, with Cito Gaston's stubborn and steadfast refusal to either field the best team he can or play the prospects (aging or not) who could make the roster next year. But can't a man relish the notion that we could crap all over the Tampanians and make a mockery of the notion that the Rays were competing in the AL East?

Seriously, if the Jays were able to leave Tampa with the Rays sitting below .500, the schadenfreude would be so delightful. How sweet would it be to shove it in the face of all the jackanapes like Roger Lajoie, who trotted out the Rays as proof positive that it was possible to hang with the Yanks and Sox on a shoestring with a bit of ingenuity?

Third place: It never sounded so sweet. Let's go Blue Jays, chasing another ghost of a chance.

Prime Linkage
Speaking of Ghosts, Drew/LtB from that fine blog has a good piece on the folly of signing Jason Bay or Chone Figgins next year, while pimping Adrian Beltre and J.J. Hardy as possible solutions. We're not sure that we necessarily agree, but it's a compelling argument nonetheless.

Meanwhile, Big League Stew looks back at the year that wasn't for the Jays as part of their Walk Towards the Light feature on all the also-rans this season. Have a read and relive your pain!

Scott Downs can't run without hurting himself

It might not have been his worst sin of the evening - that would have been hanging a curve ball to Hideki Matsui - but Scott Downs once again proved that while he is a decent pitcher, he's barely an athlete.

After coughing up the gopher ball to Matsui to relinquish the lead in the eighth, Downs was forced to cover first on a ground ball. This proved to be such an arduous task that Downs once again came up limping and clutching at his leg.

Maybe Downs is in lousy shape, or maybe he just doesn't like pitching after he's been hit around. Whatever the case, it has become an all-too-common sight to see Downs walking off the field with George Poulos this year.

Catch the Rays!
With their loss last night, the Tampa Rays slipped back to .500 at 73-73. Would it be too much of a pipe dream to expect the Jays to take a last run at the Rays to try to make up the six games between them with two weeks left in the season?

Hey...it's something, isn't it? The Futile Drive for Third Place is on! Who's with us?

The Rays are scary

Last night's game scared the crap out of us.

As much as we'd like to imagine that the Jays were underestimated coming into the season and that the Rays were going to turn back into pumpkins at any moment, the truth is that the Greater Tampa-St. Petersburg area squad is really good. And not just a flash in a moment type of good, but for the foreseeable future.

And aside from the notion of having to try to keep pace with the Rays in the AL East standings, the Jays still have a whole heap of games against them (and the Red Sox and the Yankees) between now and the end of the season. And while we wouldn't say that this is the case at present, it's entirely possible that the Jays could have assembled the fourth best team in all of baseball in the coming years and still finish fourth in their division.

Cripes.

About last night
If we had to use one word to describe the Jays performance last night, it is "lifeless". It's the sort of game that you would imagine a team playing after getting back home after a long road trip, but the Jays had the benefit of sleeping in their own beds last night.

Roy Halladay didn't exactly look like vintage Doc over his six innings of work, which isn't to say he pitched poorly. He got deep into a few counts and walked a couple of batters, but still managed seven strikeouts. We're guessing that he didn't turn it up to 11 in his first start after his DL stint, and that he'll be even better next time out.

Not that anyone should be hanging last night's loss on Halladay. Jeff Niemann has been a serviceable pitcher this season and had a good game last night, but there were a handful of at bats - and not just by Vernon Wells - where the Jays kept their bats on their shoulders and let the young Tampa hurler take it to them.

We hope they felt some shame, got a good rest last night, and that they plan to bring some frickin' noise tonight.

Here comes the MLB Network

The Globe's Bill Houston reports today that Rogers is well on its way to bringing Hazel Mae's oiled up gams to a TV near you.

Rogers is looking to package some requisite CanCon together with content from the recently launched (and much desired, in these parts) MLB Network to form Baseball TV. (Although we'd put money down that the name becomes MLB Network Canada by the time the channel launches.)

Before anyone starts bitching and moaning about the fact that we're not getting the original purely American feed, we'd note that the lattitude that Rogers has in their licence may actually make the Canadian version a better choice. Baseball TV is currently licenced to air 10% live baseball games, which would work out to about five live games per week. (MLB Network currently offers live look ins, like the Score's old Diamond Surfing feature.)

The Canadian content on the channel may actually be a boon to Jays (and Expos) fans if they include classic games from the Canadian franchises. Classic baseball is rarely seen on CTVglobemedia's ESPN Classic Canada (apparently, they can't squeeze it in between Classic Darts and Classic Pub Night).

We firmly believe that there is an appetite for more classic Jays games beyond the handful that we've seen repeatedly (World Series clinchers and what not.) For instance, we'd love to see the Jays' 1991 ALCS games versus the Twins again.

Houston concludes by repeating the speculation that the channel could launch in Canada in the spring, in time for the start of the season. While we would love to see some baseball over the winter to warm our hearts as we shovel out and trudge through snowbanks, it's probably better late than never.

UPDATE: If you want a sense of what the MLB Network has to offer, check out the panel discussion on the Jays homepage featuring Joe Magrane, Harold Reynolds and Al (Blisters on my Blisters!) Leiter. We don't even care if we don't agree with them...it's just nice to hear guys talking baseball.

The Yankees have big bags of money, the Red Sox have big brains
We begrudgingly tip our cap to the Red Sox brain trust, who appear to be close to signing Rocco Baldelli (sorry GROF boys) and John Smoltz. There are all sorts of health risks with both of those players, but if they are healthy, they fit perfectly into the Sox 25-man roster.

To be honest, those signings (if they come to pass) would worry us more than the Yankees' spree and the Rays' signing of Pat Burrell.

It sucks to lose meaningful games in August

First off, we'd just like to say that the Red Sox are a bunch of bastard people. Now if you'll excuse us, we're going to go bite our pillow.

Meaningful games mean so much
Maybe it was the excess caffeine, the hectic travel schedule that we had yesterday, or the wicked heat, but we'd like to think that the fact that yesterday's game meant something was the reason that we were sweating our way through the extra innings in yesterday's 6-5 loss to the Boston BastardPeople Sox.

Unfortunately, the loss reduces the Jays' chances of making the playoffs to an absurdly slim margin that even an inveterate apologist such as ourselves has a hard time believing in.

What's worse is that this happened in the last week of August. If the Jays had won and kept teasing our manly bits for another eight days, we'd be able to say without reservation that the Jays played "meaningful games in September". We'd just like to be able to counter the assertion that the Jays never play games of any sort of consequence with an example of one September series that meant something. We want to believe, goddamnit.

And frankly, we don't like to cheer for our team to "play the role of the spoiler" in the final weeks, because any troupe of ne'erdowells can play that role. Although if we have to be spoilers, we'd like to take the Redneck Riviera Rays down a peg starting tomorrow.

Ladies and gentlemen....your post-deadline 2008 Toronto Blue Jays!

....are exactly like your 2008 pre-deadline Toronto Blue Jays.

And so it has come to pass. The trade deadline, that is.... and along with it, any real reason to get excited about this club one way or the other down the stretch. On one hand, there was the possibility the Jays would be buyers with names like Jason Bay and Raul Ibanez floated in the hours leading up to the deadline. The Ibanez rumours (that's right, with a "u") in particular reeked of desperation bullshit. But hey, at least he would have been a nice bat Cito could plunk into the middle of the order. He would have fit nicely sandwiched into the New Murderers Row of Overbay-Barajas-Stairs-Rolen. Might have upped the enjoyment factor down the stretch, is all I'm saying.

On the other hand, the Jays could have (should have?) been sellers....and yeah, that would mean losing some players we may have grown fond of (that was for dramatic effect, folks), but under the "sellers" scenario, we could have at least convinced ourselves that the prospects coming back could be difference makers down the road.

Instead, we have the status quo, and it's probably fitting. Oh sure, the team will probably go on a nice little 10 of 12 run sometime before the end of the season, but I've been fooled too many times into thinking the team had turned the corner....only to lose 2 of 3 at home to Tampa Bay.

Oh, I'll still watch. I'll still cheer. Full disclosure, I'll still get way too wrapped up in a Wednesday night game against Oakland. But I'll probably be doing it with an eye on 2009. Unless we take the next 5 of 6, of course.

Memo to fans of the Tampa Bay Rays
Seriously now....fuck off! Your team is good. Real good, in fact. Better than any of us thought it would be. You have Evan Longoria, Bossman Junior, and Carl Crawford to be the cornerstones of the offense for years. You have Scott Kazmir, Jimmy Shields, Matt Garza, and David Price to give you a formidable rotation to match those sticks.

But you know what, you were a fucking terrible team for 10 years, and we actually felt pretty bad for you. Cut you some slack, I'd say. Must have been the Canadian in us, I suppose.

And you? You've become smarmy pricks. Have you learned nothing from the Massholes? At least Red Sox Nation (hate the term, by the way - fills me with rage) waited until they had a World Series title under their collective belts before turning up the douche factor. You guys? You're snapping the knob off the dial 100 games into the only winning season in franchise history.

Jays Shit The Bed In Orlando

Things aren't getting any better for John Gibbons' crew. Bringing Scott Rolen and Adam Lind will help, but we still feel like there is a lack of cohesion on the team that results in uneven efforts every single night. The blood is in the water.

We're goin' to Disney World

Well, not us personally, but the Jays, for a three game set against the Tampa Rays. (If they've dropped the "Devil", surely they can drop the "Bay".)

Rays blog DRays Bay has a Q and A with the Drunk Jays fans, who are still recovering from watching a bunch of hillbillies in tights tussle with one another in Montreal. And for clarification's sake, we should note that it was Saturday night's ultraviolence in which the DJF partook, not last night's tomfoolery. (Olé olé olé indeed.)