A modest proposal: Acquire Gil Meche

Okay, fine. Maybe it's a stupid idea. But just hear us out on this one.

You can never have too much pitching, or so goes the axiom. Certainly, the 2008 edition of the Jays bears that out, what with the dodgy labrums on Casey Janssen and Dustin McGowan, Shaun Marcum's slow recovery from an elbow something-or-other, A.J. Burnett's potential opt-out, and Jesse Litsch's recent crash back to reality.

Meanwhile, the Royals are apparently prepared to start their annual house-cleaning, with Meche's name being amongst those being mentioned as possible trade bait. After a rocky start to the season, Meche has been fairly effective since June 10, going 3-1 with a 3.27 ERA in 44 innings. His strikeout rate isn't great (29 Ks over that period), but he's not walking a ton of guys either (13 BBs).

Mind you, Meche might not be overly anxious to get to Toronto given that J.P. Ricciardi essentially questioned his manhood after he spurned the Jays' contract offer before the 2007 season. But give Doc Halladay an opportunity to nestle him under his wing, and we're sure Meche will come around...right?

Meche has three years left on his five-year $55 million deal, and as has been noted in the case of A.J.'s deal, that seemingly insane figure has quickly become a bargain when it comes to mid rotation starters. At that number, Meche could fit in nicely as a number three starter, and could provide some insurance should A.J. bolt in the off-season and should Casey and Dusty Peaches recover slowly from their shoulder troubles.

Hey, what can we tell ya. It's trade deadline week, and we've just decided to throw some junk against the wall. There are four more days of this nonsense, so get ready for a whole barrelload of silly speculation.

Cheers to the Weekend Editor
Our thanks to The Ack for his steady relief performance over the weekend. While we were away attempting to explain to the missus why a $50 Expos t-shirt with Al Oliver's name and number on the back was a wise investment, the Ack brought his own take on the weekend's events, replete with Meatloaf (and meatloaf) references. Well done, sir.

Now you should start praying for Aaron Rowand's demise, seeing as how you have been designated as our Raw Bacon Consumer of Choice should the Giants centrefielder hit 20 bombs in any of the next few seasons.

Jesse Litsch is not invincible

Alright, so after hyping our pink, round and efficient marvel hither and yon yesterday, Jesse Litsch gets hit around like a number five pitcher in last night's 5-1 loss to the Yanks. We fully expect to eat crow all day.

More galling still, Worst Person in the World Mike Mussina pitched well as the Jays flailed and waved at his magically evil knuckle curve. (And not that we want to start rumours out of thin air, but...BALL SCUFFER!)

Hey man, a loss is a loss. Even the good teams have got to drop 65-70 games per year. Still, we get a little uneasy when the Jays once again stop hitting with runners in scoring position.

Hey look: afternoon game!
Dustin McGowan versus the Wang at 1:05. Abdicate your work responsibilities and listen in to Jerry and Alan all afternoon.

Mike Piazza is no longer an option

Mike Piazza, who is definitely not gay, is no longer an option for us (or Mike Wilner) to idly speculate on as an answer to the team's occasional offensive woes.

The former All-Star catcher, who nearly perfected the art of the unironic porn 'stache and served as the target for Roger Clemens' bat-tossing exploits, announced his retirement today. He's planning on staying home with his somewhat hot wife (former Playmate Alicia Rickter, who looks a little torn down these days) and the children that he absolutely sired himself with the fruit of his own loins, because he is definitely not gay. No gay stuff for Mikey. Totally straight.