Rule 5 Draft Day - Starring Shannon Tweed

After making some vaguely ironic (i.e. not funny) comment about our excitement for today's Rule 5 Draft, J from 3:10 to Joba called us out on Twitter over the hypocrisy of it all.

His argument, we suppose, is that we shouldn't get all excited over minor leaguers considering our aversion to the levels of "prospect porn" demonstrated by people who love their own minor leaguers too much to give them up for a stud like Roy Halladay. (Also, our aversion to Jays fans who insist that the road to glory includes stockpiling infinite numbers of compensatory picks.)

We didn't think we'd need to address this, but since it was raised, we'll say this: The Rule 5 Draft isn't a prospect porn thing. It's more like a "prospect erotic thriller", where you know that you're not gonna get much good stuff, but it's the best thing that's on hand at the moment. So to speak.

Who needs a car jumper?
Joey Gathright can jump over cars. He can also post a career slugging percentage of .303. Which is 14 points lower than John McDonald's career mark.

I hate Joey Gathright.

(And no, this doesn't count as the Major League player that we wanted to see the Jays pick up at the meetings. Because we hate Joey Gathright.)

Update: Bastian tweets that the deal isn't done. So there.

The Roy Halladay Sweepstakes
From the sounds of some of the packages being floated in the media yesterday, it's on like Donkey Kong in the race to get Doc out of Toronto. And frankly, at this point, we're liking what we hear. (Optimism!!!1)

Also, Buster Onley from ESPN notes that AA is impressing his peers with the way he is going about his business in Indy. Which is good, because you'd hate to think they view him as some dilettante weird germaphobe.

Where To Find The Latest News, Analysis and Insight on the Winter Meetings
We've spent more time on the Drunk Jays Fans blog than any other Canadian site this week. Where the hell else are you going to go?

(This would be a good week for a winter DJF podcast, don't you think?)

The Manager Speaks
But we're not listening. La la la la la we can't hear you! La la la la!

Welcome Globe Sports readers: Come join us as we watch paint dry

Because it's a lot less frustrating and tiresome than waiting around for something to come of this week's rumours. (Sabean! Yer killin' us here!)

Rule 5 draft - Another Wells, and the fat guy from Moneyball
The Jays took important steps towards replenishing their supply players named "Wells" today by drafting Cubs farmhand Randy Wells. Wells seemed to have stubbed his toe moving to the AAA level in 2006 after putting up excellent numbers the entire way through his minor league career. Wells is said to be "giddy" about the move to Toronto, and he has promised to skip like a schoolgirl to the mound. (Okay, part of that wasn't completely true.)

In the AAA portion of the Rule 5, the Jays picked up Brant Colamarino, an Oakland farmhand whose physical appearance elicited one of the best lines in Michael Lewis' Moneyball:

"When Brant Colamarino removes his shirt for the first time in an A's minor league locker room he inspires his coaches to inform [Beane] that 'Colamarino has titties.'"

(Thanks to this Hardball Times article for the reminder about Brant's bootyliciousness, and cheers to the Mighty Blair for the link from the Globe Baseball Blog.)