As good a day as any for a siesta

So with the Jays taking a day off to return to Toronto with their tails between their legs after THE WORST ROAD TRIP IN FRANCHISE HISTORY (you could look it up), we figure it's probably a good time for us to take a breather as well.

We could take the day to pick through the entrails of the past two weeks and speculate as to the why's and how's and wherefore's...but we'll confess to having lost all perspective at this point. Whatever we write at this point is just going to be an angry screed, and we'd promised ourselves that we weren't going to go down that road this year. Even an anonymous blogger's got to have some standards.

Besides: It's baseball. We love it beyond all reason, but the fact that we've let this losing streak affect our mood to the extent that we have kinda takes all of the fun out of it.

In four months time, when the season is over and we're staring into another Canadian winter spent dreaming of diamonds while trying desperately to tune out the hockeyocracy, we're going to miss moments like yesterday, as bizarre as that may sound.

We've officially shit the bed

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue

You know, we'd like to think that we're a bit more rational and emotionally stable than we've been acting over the past week, but clearly, that's not the case.

It's taken all of eight days and eight losses to turn us into a typical hysterical JaysTalk-calling bandwagon jumper, ripping every player and every member of the coaching staff and writing off this season and probably next and threatening to stop following the Jays altogether. It's incredibly unbecoming.

The upside is that the fantastic start that this team had over the first seven weeks (remember when?) has left them in good stead and on the plus side of .500. If they decide to take advantage of a typical Roy Halladay outing and score more than a handful or runs today, maybe we can all put this ugliness behind us and focus on the last four months of the season.

Fingers crossed.

Cito's logical fallacy
Our pal MRB, the philosopher and lifelong Red Sox fan (yes, such a thing exists), would be proud of us as we worked our way through this undergraduate Logic 101 proposition.

Cito's notion is that he doesn't generally want to monkey around with the lineup because maintaining that consistency allows players to relax and feel comfortable. While over periods of time it might seem like shifting hot bats into higher leverage spots in the lineup would be beneficial, Cito's notion is that in the long term, it's best to stay the course, losing one today to win two in the future. Sounds reasonable enough, even to a hysterical ninny like us.

But here's the catch, and the spot where this logic falls apart: It presupposes that Cito chose the best lineup in the first place. If, in fact, Cito began with a lineup that wasn't his strongest, then he's holding onto a flawed model for the sake of consistency.

Players progress and regress from one year to another, so it would be reasonable in the early going of the season to adjust and ammend the lineup based on what we're seeing now versus past performance.

Because Vernon Wells' 2003 season is a distant blip in the rearview mirror.

Knives out

Our shtick around these parts has traditionally been to be the eternal optimist, talking people back off the ledge and putting the various dips and dives of outrageous fortune into some sort of rational light or perspective.

Somehow, we're just not feeling up to that task right now.

Maybe it's the mounting frustration at the fact that Cito Gaston has decided to chisel his lineup card into a granite tablet, thus ensuring that the tender feelings of the heart of the Jays' batting order are nurtured while they collectively suck the life out of the team's offense night in and night out.

Over the past six losses, Alex Rios, Vernon Wells and Adam Lind have combined for a grand total of ZERO runs batted in amongst them. ZERO. In 78 plate appearances. That shit just ain't funny.

And we understand that the past week represents a small sample size, but it's not as though this is a trend that appeared out of nowhere. Wells, your putative cleanup hitter for life, hasn't driven in a run since May 6 while Lind has posted a .645 OPS in the month of May. And while Rios has started to turn on the offense over the past month, his .786 OPS, four homers and nine RsBI are hardly enough to carry an offense on his own.

(As a side note to Vernon Wells: If you foul four pitches in one at bat off your foot and leg, do you suppose that you might want to stop chopping downwards on every slider and breaking ball that is thrown up there?)

We're not saying that this team needs a shake up just for the sake of shaking things up. But in the midst of an atrocious six game slide, we're finding it increasingly difficult to put our faith in the wise and sage Gaston's "Lose One, Win Two" philosophy. Do anybody really think that out of the charred remains of the past week, Cito's magical stubborn stoicism will earn us twelve wins?

Pulling out all the stops

You know what's worse than a 5 game losing streak? A 6 game losing streak (thanks, Mr. Obvious).

I've come to the realization that maybe baseball is playing too large of a role in my happiness, because for the last week I've been a bit of a miserable son of a bitch. It's not so much that I can't handle the losses....it's the expectations after spending the better part of two months at the top of the standings. And the recent flashbacks to 2008's impotent offense. And getting swept by the fucking Red Sox. And facing the brooms yet again in Atlanta.

That's why I'm pulling out all the stops today, friends. Full out positive mojo effort. Old school batting practice jersey, retro cap, the whole bit. Does that make me a loser? Yes. Do I care? No more than usual. Will my depression deepen if the Jays drop another one? I think you know the answer to that.

Casey Janssen is who we thought he is
In his '09 debut, Casey Janssen turned in a workmanlike effort - 6 innings, 3 runs, just one base on balls.....and no strikeouts. Let's give Casey a few more starts before placing judgement on the lack of punchouts.

It wasn't my fault

I was across the state line before the first pitch.