We'll note that unlike some others we know, we do not have a proprietary system which helps to analyze the influence and reach of each of these accounts. We're pretty much shooting from the hip. (Though we'd guess that we're smarter than your algorithm anyhow.)
Let's rank 'em up!
1. J.P. Arencibia (@jparencibia9) - Followers: 24,481 ; Following: 69
The Lowdown: Crown Prince of Blue Jays tweeters. Originator of the #beastmode hashtag. Instigator of Twitter tomfoolery. Not above commenting on the issues of the day (such as they are.) Uses the tool as it was supposed to be used. Seems like a genuinely fun guy. Asks followers for helpful advice on living in Toronto, Canada.
Will he follow you? Are you a hot chick?
Will he RT me? Maybe. Helps if you are a hot chick. Or if it involves children loving baseball.
Worth a follow? Absolutely. Above all others.
2. Brandon Morrow (@2Morrow23) - Followers: 12,681 ; Following: 35
The Lowdown: Literate, and legitimately witty. Creates anagrams just for fun. Doesn't tweet often, but is often re-tweetable. Ongoing dialogue between he and his wife (@lilymorrow21) is amusing, like the best episodes of Mad About You. (Okay, probably better than that. And there is a dog involved.)
Will he follow you? Probably not. Unless you are a teammate, baseball writer or a purveyor of hilarious comedy music video madness.
Will he RT me? Are you his teammate?
Worth a follow? Yes. But expect quality as opposed to quantity.
3. Travis Snider (@Lunchboxhero45) Followers: 20,273 ; Following: 74
The Lowdown: Early season Twitter MVP. Trip to Las Vegas slowed down tweeting output. Still has significant Twitter upside. Fully embraced #MeatsDontClash meme, and made it his own. Seems like a genuinely cool guy.
Will he follow you? Not likely. Sticks to circle of Jays, friends of Jays and other big leaguers.
Will he RT me? Yes, for a good cause.
Worth a follow? Yes, though his absence from the twitosphere may give you some sadness.
4. Ricky Romero (@RickyRo24) - Followers: 25,144 ; Following: 51
The Lowdown: That "Los Fearless" Nike ad he did? That's pretty much what you can expect from RickRo's tweets: Intensely inspirational. Pumps up teammates with #beastmode or #HustleandHeart hashtags.
Will he follow you? Are you the reigning Miss USA?
Will he RT me? Yes. Just ask for an RT for whatever reason, and he's happy to oblige.
Worth a follow? Sure. Just prepare yourself for the sad spectacle of people dumber than you begging for RTs.
5. José Bautista (@JoeyBats19) - Followers: 30,295 ; Following: 48
The Lowdown: Enthusiastic!! Enjoys the use of exclamation!!
Will he follow you? You should know better by now.
Will he RT me? No. And he's a better man for it.
Worth a follow? Who are we kidding. Of course you are following him already.
6. Brett Cecil (@CEC0208) - Followers: 13,298 ; Following: 71
The Lowdown: Happy (though homesick) dad. Enthusiastic Washington Capitals fan. Provides honest self-criticism following games. Occasionally takes on idiot trolls.
Will he follow you? Perhaps if you don't mind letting him beat you at NHL 11.
Will he RT me? Nope. Go beg for RTs from those prats from Glee.
Worth a follow? Sure.
7. Brett Lawrie (@blawrie13) - Followers: 8,392 ; Following: 14
The Lowdown: Dude. Party time. Excellent. Less interesting than his sister's tweets, though fewer emo moments as well.
Will he follow you? We're not sure he knows how.
Will he RT me? What's an RT?
Worth a follow? You can probably wait until he gets his promotion.
8. Jesse Litsch (@JesseLitsch) - Followers: 13,745 ; Following: 81
The Lowdown: Happy to be hear sometimes he uses words funny and run on sentences and stuff alright.
Will he follow you? As likely as anyone to do so. Helps if you're a chick. (Hotness not as much a concern.)
Will he RT me? Are you the MLBPA?
Worth a follow? He's agile like a kitty! How could you not?
We suppose we could have added a few other minor leaguers to this list (@jakemarisnick for instance), but we're reasonably certain that you've already stopped reading by now. And if you have stuck it through to the finish: Hey there! Happy Monday, y'all!