Beautiful Lazy Sorta Long Weekend

We hope to god that most of you have had the good sense to make a long weekend out of this Canada Day tomfoolery. What sort of idiot would be at work on an utterly beautiful day such as today? (Well, aside from us?)

Celebrating our Confederation...in Seattle?
Seriously, this whole business of keeping the Jays out of Toronto on holidays (Victoria Day and Canada Day in particular) has gotten out of hand. Who do we have to blow in order to get ourselves a home series for the Jays over the weekend of our national holiday? Maybe Paul Godfrey didn't want to ask for such frivolities as he was angling for the All-Star Game (and settling for the World Baseball Classic, or Festival, or Jamboree or whatever the hell they are calling it.) Still, we miss the days when the Jays came out in sweet red caps and jerseys with "Canada" on the back.

Maybe we didn't appreciate the last Canada Day home game because on that day, the Jays wore quite possibly the ugliest uni's ever sported by the Toronto nine.

There's always next year, we suppose. Regardless, we fully expect that the Jays fans in beautiful British Columbia will make their way down to Safeco this week to represent. And possibly strip to the waist and make really bad puns on player's names. (This is what too many hours in front of collegehumor.com has done to our youth.)

Make us proud, left coast Canadians.

We got nothin'

Holy shit. We've been staring at this screen for, like, a decade, and we've come to realize that we have absolutely nothing to say. Seriously. Nothin'.

Maybe it's just that we haven't watched a full game in almost two weeks (life itself having impeded our baseball privileges), or maybe it's that there's not nearly as much to bitch and moan about since the Jays finally pulled it together in the month of May.

It might even be that we are insanely jealous that the Drunk Jays Fans interviewed our not-so-secret mancrush Stephen Brunt on their latest podcast. (We're assuming that the invitation for a return engagement for yours truly must have been lost in our spam filter.)

Hey man, we're sorry. We've just gotten fat, lazy and disengaged. It's as if David Shoalts is writing the blog posts here. It's gotten so bad that we can barely muster the energy to shit on the Yankees in anticipation of the series, which starts tonight.

Sorry we suck. We're gonna get back into fighting shape this week, we swear.

In the meantime, we're just going to work the word "smegma" into as many posts as possible in lieu of saying anything witty or insightful.