He's theirs, now

I joked around about it in the comments today (y'know, I may have added a little dash of melodrama for your entertainment....it's kind of what I do), but in all sincerity, I really wasn't looking forward to this. Roy Halladay taking the mound to face the Toronto Blue Jays.

Even on paper, that looks gross. I shuddered at the thought of how it would look in the flesh. Then a funny thing happened when the Doc settled in to face his old teammates (Freddy Lewis leading off notwithstanding):

I was strangely unaffected by it all.

Oh sure, a part of me waxed nostalgic watching Halladay completely disembowel the Jays through 7 vintage Doc innings. But you know.... he's not our guy anymore. He's Philadelphia's guy. Has been since the winter. And that's OK. I'm not so foolish or arrogant to say we don't need him or wouldn't take him back.....but we've got our own guys, man.

We've got Shaun Marcum playing the role of staff leader. We've got Ricky Romero and his emerging ace-dom. We've got Brandon Morrow emerging into far more than Mariners fans ever dreamed he'd be. Brett Cecil will shake off a few rough starts and solidify his spot as one of "our guys". Sometime soon, Kyle Drabek will be our guy too.

(And Jesse...oh Jesse....we'd like you to be our guy, but, um, let's just wait and see.)

Point is, Roy Halladay has moved on. Turns out I have too.

Weekend MiLB update

Not that I want to turn this corner of the blogosphere into a regular "running features" page or anything, but for those too disinterested in perusing the minor league boxscores, here are a few names making noise on the farm.

(Then again, if MiLB boxscores aren't of interest, you probably aren't reading anymore anyway. So frig off already.)

GCL Blue Jays (Rookie): Blog favorite and 2009 Jays 3rd rounder Jake Marisnick belted his first professional homer in just his 5th pro game. Boo-ya.

Auburn Doubledays (Class-A short season): Arencibia, Jeroloman, and D'Arnaud get the ink (for now), but not yet 20 year old Carlos Perez is drawing raves. Trade John Buck! OK, maybe not yet.

Lansing Lugnuts (Class A): sorry Lansing, I'm just not feeling it.

Dunedin Jays (Class A): ....but don't worry, Travis. I've still got (baseball) eyes for you. If nothing else, it keeps me off Hechavarria's player page. Ugh. No, I will not link to it.

New Hampshire Fisher Cats (Class AA): Don't look now, but Zach Stewart's coming around. It has to be tough, being known as the guy traded for the GBOAT. Is it selfish of me to want to see the Jays just convert him into the closer in waiting already?

Las Vegas 51's (Class AAA): Can Chris Lubanski be our new Dopirak, who was our new Ruiz? Everyone OK with that?

Awkward angry meetings with our exes

We've already wasted too much energy and too much digital ink waxing poetic, philosophic and nostalgic over Roy Halladay. So, on this, the first meeting in which our side faces its former ace in game action, we have one simple thought:

Fuck Doc.

Seriously. Fuck him, and fuck his "30 win season", and his postseason aspirations, and his perfunctory full page ads in the Sun. You wanna wear another team's laundry, then fine...but we hope our guys hammer you all over their borrowed "home field" tonight.

In this post-Halladay era, the supposedly hapless Jays sit at 39-34, four and a half games back in the AL East and the AL Wild Card race. Meanwhile, the unstoppable force that is the 138 million-dollar Phillies, armed to the teeth with Doc and an incomparable offense, sit at 38-32, mid-pack in the NL East. Behind the Mets. We're pretty sure that's the way that you all figured it was going to play out.

Look: We respect all that guy did for our team while he was in Toronto, so we don't wish anything painful or catastrophic upon him. We just want to watch his neck get sore as he's watching moonshots lofted into the Philadelphia skyline tonight.

Friday Rock Out - Sad Bastard Country Ballad Edition
In honour of our continued attempts to put our former ace out of our mind, we offer the greatest of all sad bastard country ballads, captured live on Canada's own Ronnie Prophet Show.

Like a groin kick that we really didn't need

We're not asking you to feel sorry for us for being Toronto Blue Jays fans. It's something that we choose of our own volition, and on most days, we're happy to have found that little nugget of bittersweet happiness to keep our minds occupied.

But goddamn it, this sucks.

The return of Roy Halladay was one of those little moments to which Jays fans could look forward. It was going to be an opportunity to rise to our feet and salute the outstanding contribution of quite possibly the Greatest Jay, both in person at the stadium as well as in our hearts and minds. It surely would have been a moment that would have resonated with Jays fans for years to come, and may well have helped us all close the door and move on to the future of the franchise.

But now, we have the announcement that, due to security concerns around the G-20 meeting in Toronto, the Jays and MLB have agreed to move the Phillies series to the City of Battery Chucks. Talk about adding insult to injury. This feels like a kick to the groin, followed by a purple nurple, followed by a taunt of "that didn't hurt", followed by a wedgie.

And somehow, after all of that, we're supposed to wear our Blue Jays fandom with pride.

In the grown up world, where the decision to move these games was made, this is absolutely the most logical and rational solution to a series of problems. And you can feel free to debate amongst yourselves who caused those problems, but we're not sure how productive that discussion is.

What may be a more productive discussion is this: What does this team have to do to make good to its fans? Maybe they could have rationalized the player moves, or the ticket prices, or keeping the roof closed or having little or nothing in terms of promotions this season. And maybe they can make a very reasonable case that the insult of moving this, likely the most important series of the year, is beyond their control.

They could do that, and appeal to our more rational side. But being a fan isn't a rational thing.

Assuaging the hurt feelings and disappointment that is going to come from this decision has to be a priority for the team's brain trust, or they risk losing the fan base even more than they already have. It's going to take more than bland assurances from Paul Beeston and aspirational declarations from Alex Anthopoulos to make it feel all better.

While we don't want to totally lose our shit over this, there's a nagging little voice in our head telling us that this is a crucible, and the spot where some of the casual fans drop off permanently. And the thing is that it is far easier to retain the fans you have than to go out and find new ones.

...Let go lightly

I figured I'd wait this post out. Let the trade settle in. Gain some perspective, understand it was a deal that had to be made, and go from there. Write up a handful of paragraphs praising the virtues of Harry Leroy Halladay and drool excitedly over our own fresh new batch o' prospect porn.

But you know, that's not really what I do. I could never write anything as eloquent as things already said (epic), and I won't pretend to try. And maybe I should wait it out - hell, we don't even know for sure who exactly is coming back in the deal (as of this writing, it looks like Drabek, Taylor, d'Arnaud)...but for this post, that matters little. This post is all about who the Toronto Blue Jays - the organization and their fans - are losing. So pay attention, Philadelphia. Bear with my melodrama as I type away with the story still unfolding....because our loss is quite clearly going to be your gain.

You know what else this post is not about? The stats. Oh, any Jays fan could probably recite verbatim all the relevant numbers on the back of Doc's baseball card. We'll tell you about the Cy. We'll talk wins, we'll talk complete games, strikeouts, whatever. We'll also tell you about his stuff. His filthy, "did you see that?", stuff. Rivera is & always will be the master of the cutter, but Doc will follow his up with an equally nasty two-seamer. Or maybe he'll sink the fastball on you. Or just flat-out embarrass you when he drops the hook. But no, this isn't about the stuff, either.

This post is about the feeling that just having Doc on the team gave to Jays fans. It's hard to explain, really. He was ours. He was our guy. He grew up in the system, a Blue Jay through and through. He came within one out (damn you, Bobby Higginson) of tossing a no hitter in just his second major league start. A season later, the wheels came off, he struggled mightily, but back he came - through the system - more dominant than ever.

That feeling of pride we felt for our guy came in many forms. Just watching Doc deal. All business. No distractions. No tolerance for error. It came in reading game recaps, with opposing managers & hitters alike inevitably exclaiming that Doc was the best they'd faced all year. And through all of those early struggles and subsequent dominance - he was a Blue Jay. He was the guy who signed not one, but two extensions at a hometown discount because he wanted to be a Blue Jay. Don't think we didn't notice that, Roy, because we did.

This post is also about what the Jays are losing off the field. The Halladays are good people, man. Doc's box for sick kids. His under-reported work in the community. The responsibility he felt as a role model. Read this piece from a few seasons back, and if it doesn't get a little dusty for you, well, you're as robotic as Doc's right arm. Honestly, I'm sure there are many players who do as much in their towns as Doc, but rare is the athlete who can match that integrity, that dedication, that humility....and that talent. And we had him. For twelve seasons, we had him.

Players come and go. We're cheering for laundry, right? I'll get excited about the players coming back in the trade. They'll bring hope for better days ahead and a new era of a competitive Toronto ballclub. In time, we'll be breathless about the next great pitching prospect in the system. Some day, we might even find a kid of whom we will say "he reminds me a little of a young Roy Halladay."

But there will never be another Roy Halladay. There can't be.

Hold on tightly....

It's only a matter of time now.

I'm going to hold off on my Halladay post-mortem until such time as I can truly collect myself & my thoughts to do the thing justice. Suffice to say, until the deal is finalized, I'll be a ball of nerves, hoping the excitement can overcome the waves of nausea. I'm only slightly exaggerating.

So until then, we can only speculate whom among Drabek, Happ, Aumont, Taylor, Brown, D'Arnaud, Saunders, Triunifel, etc will join the fold.

(But I'm guessing it'll likely be one of Drabek/Aumont, one of Taylor/Brown, and one of D'Arnaud/Triunifel. With maybe Saunders thrown into the mix.)

In the meantime, as far as up to the minute coverage goes, the DJF and MLBTR have got your refresh button covered.

Oh, boy.

I'm ready

It's not that I think it's not going to hurt. I'm not delusional, 'fer chrissakes. We're still talking about Roy Halladay - the man, the myth, the Blue Jays legend.

It's just that I'm ready now. It's enough already. The whole thing has gone on long enough. Really, let's be honest with ourselves - we're all friends here, right? - does it really feel like Doc has been a part of the team, or at the very least, part of the team's future, since the trade debacle shitstorm that swept through the organization back in July?

Because to me, it feels like me we've just been counting down the days until it's over. With baseball's Winter Meetings looming right around the corner, I'm almost hoping, mercifully, that it comes to an end. It sucks for Doc, it sucks for the organization, and it fucking sucks for the fans. Not the most eloquent thing I've ever written, but hey - the Roy Halladay Sweepstakes haven't exactly been poetry in motion.

At this point, Halladay breaking camp with the Jays will be just about the most awkward situation possible. It's really not even an option, despite the protestations that "2 comp picks just might end up being the best package". So get it done. Put us all out of our misery.

I'm ready for it, anyway.

Lying liars and the lies they tell
"We wanted to trade Roy and Roy wanted to be traded (in the summer), as he does now."

This quote from venerable old JP Ricciardi is just a litttttle bit different than the July deadline stance of "Roy never asked to be traded, we're just seeing what's out there."

Hey, I know how the game is played, but it's still funny as all hell to read. At least JP left us with one of his legacy quotes:

"I personally think, move the player and move on because ultimately the player is going to leave."

Reason #426 that Twitter is worth paying attention to
All around knowledgeable baseball dude Will Carroll drops this piece of juicy fruit via his Twitter account:

"I know of two HUGE announcements coming at the Winter Meetings. I expect both will be bigger than any player signing or news made during. "

Carroll has already denied all of the obvious guesses from his followers - expansion, contraction, relocation, Selig news, etc. Any guesses?

Doc to Jays: Drop Dead

So the deal seems to be something like this: Roy Halladay wants to go to a contender, but wants to choose the contender and wants to choose when he goes. In other words, he's setting the market, and has announced as much through his representatives.

So those deals where the Jays are getting more than the other teams want to give are pretty much off the table. Rid your mind of Buck Holes or Phil Hughes and start thinking Buck Swope or Phil Coke. Stop thinking of a front line player to solve a need, and think of a marginal and flawed guy who's outlived his time in Triple-A. Start thinking in terms of what the Minnesota Twins got back for Johan Santana. Start rehearsing the following sentence: "At least it's not as bad as the Sirotka trade."

Groan.

Look, we don't begrudge Halladay exerting his no-trade clause to put himself into the best situation possible for him and Brandi and the kids and whatever. But we've got to wonder why his reps felt it was necessary to add this extra wrinkle to the trade talks right before the Jays head to the Winter Meetings. Did they feel as though the Jays weren't doing their level best to get Halladay out of town? Did they think that this might spur talks? Or even add to the Jays leverage?

It has crossed our mind that this might actually work to help encourage suitors to step up. But mostly, it just seems like this isn't going to end well.

A Personal Note to Doc
And as far as Doc is concerned: We love you, man. We love you like we've never loved another Blue Jay player. You're amazing, and we can't express to you how much you added to our enjoyment of the Jays over the past decade. You're the best.

Now take your shit, and get the fuck out. Take your beard and your Ikea bookcases and your shitty Robert Palmer cd's and leave. We'll give you the TV stand and the pint glasses and all of the stuff that we bought together. You can have the plants and the cat and crock pot. We don't care.

Just get out. Don't make this any harder than it needs to be.

Roy Halladay is going everywhere and nowhere

It's a hell of a thing, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's been more than four months since we committed ourselves to "let go lightly" of Roy Halladay, and yet, he's still here, and we're still waiting to move on.

Somewhere, in the dark recesses in the back of our mind, we've actually started to resent Halladay. Maybe that resentment is misdirected, but it is there, and we can't help wanting to toss him - the greatest pitcher in the history of the franchise - overboard so that we can lighten our load and start moving things into something resembling a direction.

Oddly, it is precisely because Halladay is such an exceptional talent that moving him is going to be a significant challenge for the new Anthopoulosian regime. For the new GM, it's not simply a matter of figuring out who wants Halladay, because that would basically be all 30 teams.

In spite of the daily dozen rumours that have Halladay headed hither and yon, it doesn't take long to figure out why he's not headed anywhere anytime soon. If you start to work out the Venn diagram of who could be in the race for Halladay, you have to start by assessing who has money, who has money that is available, who has aspirations of competing now and who has aspirations for competing in the longer term. By the time that you intersect those four circles, you're pretty much left with two teams, and we probably don't need to remind you who they are.

The point - which we made much more succinctly in a Twitter post this weekend - is that even if everyone wants him, not many teams are going to have the resources to get him and hold on to him, and not many are going to be willing to part with much more than a nominal package in return.

Think of teams that should be in the mix like the Mets (might have money, don't have trade chips, might not be competitive), the Cubs (uncertain money), the Dodgers (money is an issue for the divorce courts), or the Cardinals (probably not enough money to keep Halladay). The Angels (without John Lackey) could be a destination, but will they have the resources to continue to compete over the next five years? Would Halladay allow such a trade to take place, given that he still holds the hammer of a no-trade clause?

There's an expectation amongst the fanbase and the media that the Jays' side of the Roy Halladay Trade should be generous and should replenish all of the franchise's needs. But taking a look at what real possibilities lie out there, we should probably brace ourselves for a move that will return less than we'd hoped, and send Doc somewhere that we wish he weren't.

Vintage, classic, epic, etc

Loathe as I am to admit it, I've always been an "expect the worst/hope for the best" kind of guy (I'm sure you couldn't tell). It's a crippling affliction that has no doubt caused me immeasurable & unnecessary stress as I prepare myself for the worst.

Such was the case as I sat down to watch what could have been, perhaps, the last appearance of Doc in the powder blues. Nobody wears it better. Nobody will ever wear it better.

Halladay's last home start of the year was a hallmark Halladay effort - scattering baserunners but slamming the door when necessary, and ultimately earning the ol' CGSO. I mean, holy shit, is there anyone else in the organization even capable of doing that?

As I've mentioned in the past, I kinda sorta maybe think the Jays might actually spend a little this offseason in the hopes the fanbase will forget the shitshow that is 2009. But here's the thing, friends: would Doc even sign an extension at this point? Would you?

It was back to the cliche train in the post-game comments:

"I would think what every player would want is to win where you came up and to win where you spent all your time," Halladay said. "I think that would be the ultimate. Places like this become a part of you the longer you're here and that would always be the ultimate."

Well, at least he's not locking the door. Maybe Pat Gillick can kick it right down. What?

Special bonus post-game quote
"It was nice to have more than 10,000 people in the stands today," Hill said.

Heyyyoooo!

We're beginning to grow apart from Doc

It's about a decade or so in the rearview mirror now, but the memory of the two weeks that we spent living with our our ex after we'd broken up is still pretty vivid. Palpable, even.

We spent those two weeks just trying to get along well enough to make things tolerable, understanding that at some point, we'd go our separate ways, and that this misery would subside (and be replaced with a completely different misery).

In some ways, that's how we've started to feel about Roy Halladay.

We understand that this might seem cheap and convenient to bring this up on the morning after Halladay's worst start in a year. But after weeks of emotional turmoil, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and now waiting even longer for it to finally drop (In the winter? Next July? After 2010?), we're left with this oddly detached feeling whenever we watch Halladay. It used to be that every Doc start was a Festival of Awesome, and a Celebration of This Precious Moment With the Greatest Pitcher Alive. And now, we just feel a bit numb.

We should probably shake it off and savour the moments that we have left with Doc, because it's gonna hurt like hell when he finally leaves. But it is the knowledge that the hurt is coming that makes us wish that we didn't have to bide our time and wait for it.

Speaking of waiting...
We had the iPod on shuffle this morning, and a Bruce Cockburn tune popped up. There are a couple of lines in that song that we figured Blue Jay fans could relate to right about now.

Somewhere out there is a place that's cool
Where peace and balance are the rule
Working toward a future like some kind of mystic jewel
And waiting for a miracle

Seriously?

The truth is, by the time I read over the first draft of this post, I wasn't even angry anymore. Six or seven hours ago? Furious. Now? Frustrated, but strangely indifferent. And that's not a good thing.

It's just not a lot of fun anymore. Wait, let me rephrase that - it's just not a lot of fun right now, and for my own sanity, I came to the realization that I should probably dial it back for a while.

(cue melodrama)

It's just all too much right now, man:

We have The Roy Halladay saga. Is everyone else ready for this to come to an end? The constant Google news searches, MLB Trade Rumors, the Twitter updates.....it's not good. July 31, or 28, or wheneverthefuck can't come soon enough.

We have horseshit baseball on the field. Seriously, blowing a 9-1 lead? Through 6? At home? Come on. As an aside to this, and I'm prepared for the comments section beating here, but this loss is on Cito. Leaving Tallet out there in the seventh to completely shit the bed, when he hasn't started in, what, 15 days (?) and was clearly running out of gas - with a largely rested bullpen, to boot - was inexcusable. Fast forward to the ninth, and who do we see? Why, it's Scott Downs, the only relief arm to have made an appearance in the prior game (not to mention the result), with a rested and nails-of-late Jason Frasor at the ready.

I'm just sayin'.....the Jays are now 3 games under .500, and John Gibbons was routinely disparaged around these parts, and ultimately fired, for leading the team to a 35-39 record (that's 4 games under, if you're keeping score) in his final season. Just sayin', is all.

We have uncertainty off the field. What's the plan, Beeston? What's the good word, Rogers? For the better part of the season - JP Ricciardi OBVIOUSLY excluded - the silence from upper management has been deafening. Keeping the fanbase in the dark may be a bullshit move, but misleading the fanbase (2010!!!) is in-ex-cus-a-ble. Inexcusable.

Don't get me wrong. I love this team. I love baseball. I'm sure I'll be chiming in if/when the big deal goes down (I know - shocking, right?). But I need a break, friends. See you in a few weeks.

We're all conflicted

Just as the Tao traipses about Toronto, taking in the final start of our lord and saviour Roy Halladay, here I sit drowning in a combination of melancholy and back-of-the-fridge beers while contemplating the inevitable. It's a sad state of affairs, friends.

Compounding my infinite sadness (see what I did there?) is the weeks-long tug o' war playing out in my mind - should they, or shouldn't they?

Yes! Jays' brass should be shopping Halladay! He can't be re-signed, so dealing him now will bring back maximum value! Strike while the iron is hot! Nothing lasts forever! All that bullshit. On the other hand.....

No! Hell no! Even contemplating trading Doc is a ridiculous notion! He means too much to the team! To the city! To the country! To me, goddamnit!

If I can take solace in anything, it's that I know I'm not alone in dealing with inner turmoil. The Roy Halladay Depression has completely overwhelmed the blogosphere, with an emerging blood feud playing out right before our eyes.

(As an aside, am I a part of this? Are the teams drawn on blog loyalty, or is this an individual blogger thing......I'm confused.)

But wait - is it possible that the virus has spread beyond the lowly ranks of civilian bloggers? Yes, yes it is possible. As evidence, witness the following from the frequently ill-tempered (I kid, Jeff, I kid!) Jeff Blair:

In some quarters, it’s been suggested that this week’s whole semantics lesson – Halladay either gave the Blue Jays a list of teams he wanted to be traded to or he didn’t give them a list; Ricciardi can’t remember when Halladay told him he was not going to sign an extension, etc. – is an organizational plan to sully Halladay’s reputation and make his exit more palatable.

That’s an odd assertion from the grassy knoll group, since no sports figure in this city has less currency among his teams fan-base. I mean, really: if you want to spread nasty rumours about the most popular kid in the class, you don’t send out the least-popular kid to do it, right?

Couple this with the Tao's epic takedown, and I humbly offer the following advice:

"Just stay down, Griff! For the love of God, stay down!"

Late add

I see the article linked above has been re-written to incorporate Doc's post-game comments - a fantastic recap of which can be found here via the Post's Bruce Arthur. It's a must-read, but I am way too drained of any positive energy to give it a proper analysis.

Suffice to say, Doc loves Toronto (still warms my heart to hear it), didn't say he wanted to test free agency, but did say he wanted to wait until his contract is up to decide (which is, to be fair.....pretty much the same thing, no?).... has spoken with Beeston and feels there is "a plan" in place, but not sure if it's enough of a plan....wants to stay, but wants to win......in short, he is, wait for it - Conflicted.

That's probably about all that I have in common with him.

Late add, take 2

....just because it's a great read.

Monday Bummer - Band of Horses "No One's Going to Love You"

It's not that we want to feed too much more into the creeping malaise that has struck Blue Jays fans as of late, nor do we want to further exacerbate the generalized case of the Mondays that seems to pervade in light of...well...you know.

And yet, we've had this sad bastard, desperately pleading Band of Horses song in our head all day long. There's a little part of us that is tempted to find a boom box and stand outside Doc's window like Lloyd Dobbler in Say Anything... and play this until he signs an extension with the Jays. Or to send him meaningful mixed tapes with a long hand-written note, begging him to reconsider leaving like we did when every other redhead (and there were several) broke our heart.

(For those who are a little too literal-minded, that is actually a joke, so there's really no need to call the cops. Thank you.)

Oh, Roy. We're not sure what we're going to do without you. But no one - not Philly fans, or Dodger fans, or whoever - is ever going to love you like Blue Jays fans do.

A two sentence post on....the Doc

Watching vintage Halladay performances like Sunday afternoon's complete game victory over the Sox makes it difficult to think rationally about the looming trade deadline decision.

Articles like this one don't help either.

Welcome back (to a face slap)

Like many of you, I anxiously tuned in to the Jays' first game back after the All-Star break with vaguely optimistic (it works on so many levels) expectations. Romero! Powder Blues! A chance to stick it to the Sox! Baseball, baby!

That lasted until, oh, the first inning. I can think of better ways to start a game. Nothing spells buzz-kill like a Youkilis homer with Pedroia on board. Barf.

It's just one game, but......in many ways last night's effort was everything I feared. Essentially, there are two ways the team can respond to The Halladay Depression:

(1) Play inspired baseball to show the league (and management) that the team is close to being a contender, or

(2) Come out flat and wait for the other shoe to drop.

If you watched last night's effort, I don't think I have to tell you how the team responded in the series opener against our favourite Nation of Douchebags. Inverse b's, friends.

Julio Lugo's designation for assignment terrifies me
Boy Wonder GM Theo Epstein pulled a Ricciardi in designating Julio Lugo - who's owed about $13M over the next season and a half - for assignment. You'll remember that our own boy wonder (jokes!) has had eyes for one of my least favourite players in MLB over the years, and now it appears he can be had for the league minimum (barring anyone foolish enough to trade anything of value for his "services").

I don't need to tell you how much this terrifies me. With the trade deadline approaching, and our own Ninja-like shortstop approaching free agency.....well, I don't even want to finish that sentence. So I won't.

Madly off in all directions

If you want a testament to the fact that Roy Halladay is the cornerstore/foundation/bedrock of the Toronto Blue Jays franchise, one need only look at the reaction of the fans in recent days to the prospect of losing the team's ace. People are angry. Sad. Resigned. Frustrated. Depressed. They are ready to move on and accept the change, or they are threatening to swear off the team forever.

They're blaming J.P.. And Rogers. And Vernon Wells. They're even blaming Halladay for maybe-sorta-possibly wanting to leave.

This isn't the Jays fanbase, marching in unison behind a rallying cry. It's more like the Running of the Brides at Filene's Basement, as fans scramble madly and chaotically to find their position and guard it with their life.

Not that we're insinuating that there should be some unity of voice over the potential departure of the best pitcher in the club's history. Those who have followed the narrative of this team's struggles and triumphs over the years have reached this chapter, and now that the rug has been pulled from beneath them, they're frantically looking back over the past few years to try to make sense of this.

It must be what Lost fans feel like on a constant basis. (Stop me before I sub-reference again.)

Whatever the case, this is all kinda fun, in a miserable way.

On Roy Halladay and the persistence of change

If there's one thing we've come to understand in life, it's that change is absolutely persistent. Relentless, even.

As much as we might want to stop the bejeweled movements of the clock and stay the hands of time, it's an excercise in futility. The valiantly foolish attempts that people make to maintain the status quo and perpetuate what was once good often end up in a patchwork of pratfalls and, ultimately, failure.

It happens in all walks of life. On a personal level, people maintain relationships and friendships out of nostalgia, continuing to nurture the same set of acquaintances even after they've moved on in every other way. Businesses attempt to burnish their reputations by continuing to celebrate their past glories, even as their customers move on to newer and better things.

In the case of the Blue Jays, one need only look at the gargantuan contract to which they signed "face of the franchise" Vernon Wells to understand how pushing back on change can result in the team overpaying for past glories and delaying the process of replenishing and restocking the franchise with new and emerging talent.

So it is with this in mind that we turn our gaze towards Roy Halladay, and the unprecedented maelstrom of trade rumours surrounding him after GM J.P. Ricciardi's tepid admission that the team would "listen" to offers for the greatest pitcher in the history of the franchise.

Obviously, there's been a lot of ink spilled and bandwidth consumed over the past week over the prospects of trading Halladay before the season's end, and we're not sure how much we have to add to the hand-wringing and resignation that was contained therein. We shared the reaction of many Blue Jays bloggers and commenters who found themselves emotionally unable to conceive of the team without Halladay, and had we commented on this ourselves last week, we're sure that it would have come off as an agonized cry of Plathian platitudes.

Maybe we're getting resigned to the idea, or maybe we're steeling ourselves for what will surely come to pass. But you have to know that at some point, Roy Halladay will no longer pitch for the Toronto Blue Jays.

The romantic in us always hoped that Doc would take his final walk off the mound in a Blue Jays jersey at the end of a Hall of Fame career. But if it comes to pass that Halladay - like Delgado, or Hentgen, or Key, or Stieb, or Alomar before him - moves on by his own choice to another franchise, we have to understand that eventuality not as a failure on the part of the team, but as a passage from one era to the next.

At this point, Roy Halladay's profile has never been higher, and it absolutely behooves the team to look at every possibility that they have to capitalize on the perceived value that the hurler has, and the possible return that they could receive in exchange for him. It would be irresponsible for them to not do so, and as much as it will break our heart to see him sporting another uniform, the franchise will go on without him.

It's instructive to remember the example of the 2001 Seattle Mariners, who in successive seasons traded Randy Johnson and Ken Griffey and lost Alex Rodriguez to free agency, only to turn around and win 116 games without any of those "face of the franchise" cornerstones. The possibility exists that the foundation of next great Blue Jays team - the one we've waited for since 1993 - is waiting for us, just the other side of this potential Halladay trade.

Trading for prospects is always a dicey proposition, of course, but no more so than it is to hold firm on keeping the hometown hero and hoping that he continues to produce at the same high level. In the next year, Halladay could very well lose a bit of velocity or movement, or he could throw out his back picking up one of his kids. Or he could slice open a finger on a model helicopter blade. Or he could throw one (or 100) cutters too many, leaving him a shadow of his former self. There are no guarantees that if the Jays hold on to Halladay that they'll continue to enjoy the current vintage for the forseeable future.

Losing Halladay is a tough thing to swallow for the beleaguered Blue Jays fanbase (such as it is), but we have to accept that with time, we were going to lose him anyway, either to time, injury, or to the inevitable change that occurs over the course of a franchise's narrative.

It's not that we want to see him go. But it all reminds us of a line from the Clive Owen movie Croupier: "Hang on tightly. Let go lightly."

Out of wilderness and into the mire

After more than a week spent deep in the wilderness, pounding away mercilessly at our liver and feeding the varying species of flying, blood-sucking insect life, we're back and ready to examine the Blue Jays' landscape.

Or maybe we're not.

When we dropped off the pavement and out of cell range last week, we had vague hopes that a good run against the AL East and the Jays would be right back in the thick of things. But as the day-old boxscores trickled in from borrowed newspapers, the news in the agate type left us with an increasingly sinking feeling that could only be assuaged with another couple of gin and tonics and some long, searching stares into the distance across the lake.

"It's aaaallll over for the Blue Jays," our father-in-law told us with a smirk more than once over the space of the week. Although to be fair, he generally says this after every April loss. It's just that it seemed to resonate a little more this week, and we had fewer rationalizations or contextualizations with which to retort.

The season obviously isn't over, with another ten weeks to go. But with the release of B.J. Ryan and the trade rumours circling around Scott Rolen and someone else who we can't bear to mention, it seems as though an era in the Blue Jays history may be coming to a close.

Call it The Age of Vague Optimism, wherein the Blue Jays made free agent splashes and re-signed key players with a view towards some convergence of fortunes that would lead to their slipping between the behemoths and into the postseason. With the slide of the 2009 team's fortunes and the ongoing decimation of their pitching staff, it seems as though the path to that increasingly remote day of glory will be taking a detour of indeterminate length and distance, with a different crew both on and off the field.

Obviously, we're not about to jump ship on our beloved team. But the next chapters might be a test to our spirit of adventure.

The inevitable Doc post...postponed
There's a post of epic length coming on the recent rumours around Roy Halladay, but we need more time with it to shake off some of the raw reaction and come up with something vaguely coherent. Stay tuned.

Thanks and praise
Again, we offer our sincere thanks to our Man in the Prairies, the Ack, for his stellar work in what was an incredibly eventful and trying week for Blue Jays fans. His piece on the possibility of Halladay being traded ranks amongst the best things to ever appear on this site, and the 65 comments it generated are a testament to his work. Good work, Ack. Now go get reacquainted with your family.

Hey Now! A "W"!

What's this? The Blue Jays outscored their opponent? Doesn't that mean....a win? Playoffs! Pennant! '92-'93-'09!

Well, not exactly, but the Jays did manage to end the slide, even if for a day. The first positive contribution from Dellucci (groundout RBI!), a great effort from Franchise Cecil (6 scoreless!), and a bullpen that just might be slotting back into effective form with the return of Downs in the closer role were all reasons to smile. Well, maybe not a smile. Call it a half-hearted grin.

It was a strange mix of emotions that I was feeling during Friday's 2-0 victory over the Orioles....content to win a game, but unable to shake the doom & gloom surrounding the club - or maybe more accurately, the fanbase.

No, these are not easy times for Blue Jay fans. A team falling out of contention. The face of the franchise on the block. Professional baseball player Scott Rolen now rumored to be joining him, and we've seen the end of his hit streak to boot.

There was this tidbit from SI's Jon Heyman, where he (half-heartedly) suggests that fan backlash just may have Jays' brass thinking twice about moving the Doc, but as much as I'd like to believe that making my personal grief public is assisting in stopping the machine, the rumour mill is sure to continue churning until July 31. For my own personal sanity, I think I'm just going to ignore it all for a few weeks.

(I'm such a fucking liar.)