Okay, let's stop bitching, and let's enjoy the unparalleled awesomeness that is Brian Tallet.The big oaf takes the mound this afternoon at 1:30 in Baltimore, as the Jays look to cut down significantly on their suckitude and atone for their trespasses from last week. There's no time like the present to pull it together!
Feel free to treat the comments as a live thread, or threat, or pity party, or circle jerk, or whatever.
RBI!!!!!1
ReplyDeleteHow about that Barajas stretching into a double. He looked so gentle with little Brian Roberts.
ReplyDeleteI don't quite understand how Tallet is so successful against righties. What's the deal?
ReplyDeleteHe's got a bit of a funky delivery, so righties might not pick up the ball very quickly.
ReplyDeleteOr they may be in awe of the mustache.
Vernon up with men on...would two RsBI be out of the question?
Yes. Yes it would.
ReplyDeleteopinions on the red hats?
ReplyDeleteI'm beginning to firmly believe that a healthy Scott Rolen means a Scott Rolen who will go deep about, oh, 10 times this year. While I'm glad he's healthy, his lack of power makes me kind of sad.
ReplyDeleteI guess it's a trade-off. A guy who can hit .300 and offer wizard-like defense in the field.
It would be nice if Rios and Wells could make up for that lack of power, but they're both "on pace," according to TSN, for 17 home runs a piece.
I need a drink.
Tallet owns rightes because he throws that cutter in on their hands.
ReplyDeleteRed hats are better than black hats, but not as good as the blue caps that exist only in my mind.
ReplyDeleteOh lordy. The Wrath of Zaun puts the O's ahead.
I think you can order custom pairings on Lids.com. I've been looking at putting the retro logo on a navy cap.
ReplyDeleteOnly problem with red hats is it makes me think of Fred Durst.
Fuck Fred Durst.
ReplyDeleteAnd the bats are officially waking up in the 6th. I've had just about enough of this 2008 flashback bullshit.
I've been thinking about picking up a new cap lately, and am leaning toward the black 'T' cap. I'd prefer one of the old school caps, but many of the damn idiots have them and I don't want to be associated with that lot.
ReplyDeleteWho believes in Scott Rolen?
ReplyDeleteHere's my attempt to pair the logo with a navy hat. Not as great as I imagined, but it would look better actually on a hat and not a layer in Photoshop.
ReplyDeleteRolen I WANT to believe in, but his best days of being a power hitter are behind him. Is it too late to try to craft him into a situational hitter.
ReplyDeleteIt's just like last year: If the pitching is on, the hitting takes a back seat and vice versa. This is a game they should have in the bag, they should be hungry, even if they win it it's not going to be the kind of of win that increases confidence (unless they hit around in an inning, and even then...).
It's a long season, the world won't end, but this ain't a cold the team is just going to sleep off.
Okay, the seventh inning belongs to the Toronto offense. Bring it!
ReplyDelete^^ that's the spirit. I think.
ReplyDeletere: hats....I've grown strangely attached to my alternate T logo cap, but she's on her last legs. I wish lids and bluejays.com would stop fucking around with all the variations of the hip-hop style hats the kids wear these days. I'm in my early 30's for fuck sakes. And "official" caps fit (me) like shit with the high crowns and all.
/hat rant.
Jose Bautista's cool and all, but I miss Travis Snider.
ReplyDeleteAnybody else think that strike three called on Scoots was low?
ReplyDeleteFucking bullshit.
I need to email The Mockingbird. An Orioles fan at work said "it was right at the knees."
Yeah.
You know, the problem with a lot of these new skool hip hop hat joints is that they rarely sell the caps with the bills on the front.
ReplyDeleteWe just can't pull off one of those hats that the kids wear with the bills all crooked on the side.
^^ don't forget the unremovable (word?) tags and stickers, Tao. yeah, I'm old as dust.
ReplyDeletere: Jays offense.....(wait for it)....
FUCK.
Fuck B.J. Ryan.
ReplyDeleteHer comes Ryan, squandering another good outing by someone else.
ReplyDeleteSomeone, I won't say who, seems to be running this team on autopilot.
If inning = 7 then
InstRP(BJ_Ryan)
End if
Beej. (*shakes head*)
ReplyDeleteW. T. F.
Following the game via Gameday...it looks a little something like this:
Ball in dirt.
Ball in dirt.
Ball in dirt.
Ball in dirt.
Ball in dirt.
Ball in dirt.
Ball in dirt.
Don't forget
ReplyDeleteWild pitch, runner advances to x.
Loading the bases for Aubrey Huff...Nervous!
ReplyDeleteIs releasing BJ even an option at this point?
ReplyDeletethe first six weeks of the season were so much fun, weren't they?
ReplyDeleteIs it sad that a sac fly is actually a relief in that situation?
ReplyDeleteThey were, Ack. I shall cherish the memories.
ReplyDeleteYou'd have to eat Beej's contract, so they'll probably hold off as long as possible before they make a decision that rash (or should we say rational?)
ReplyDeleteAh, the first six weeks...the Salad Days, as we called them.
Another rally snuffed out.
ReplyDelete(And it's probably a sign of how lousy things are going when you consider a lead off single a "rally"...)
Tao & Ack, I also find that the fitted hats look very strange on me. That's why I love my "T" BP hat - it's fitted and it actually conforms to my large misshaped head.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, this game is hurting my large misshaped head. Ouch.
Just saw the Jays' red caps on TV...the caps looked fine, but they shouldn't have been paired with the black alt jersey.
ReplyDeleteOverbay! Double! Rally caps for our large misshapen heads!
I'm thankful that I'm not watching this on the Tele, rather on MLB Gameday live at work. This is still nervewracking even watching the little graphics!
ReplyDeleteAnd that's the ball game.
ReplyDeleteSeven in a row.
Great googly moogly.
Inverse boners.
ReplyDelete"Fuck" is the new "Pennant!".
Yeah, it's been a while since we've seen anything "Pennant!!!1"-worthy.
ReplyDeleteOkay Cito, you can change the lineup now. Obviously it hasn't worked for the last 7 games ...
ReplyDeleteTao, up to this point, I've been holding off on creating an "inverse boners" tag for posts out of respect for the integrity of this site....but if this shit keeps up to the weekend, all bets are off, dude.
ReplyDeleteWe appreciate your restraint in creating unnecessarily off-colour tags every time we notice "Shitacular Bed Shitting" in the tag list.
ReplyDeleteThat's a criminally underused tag, from what I've seen lately.
I feel crazy dejected right now.
ReplyDeleteI picked the wrong time to give up booze. Clearly.
I bought the white front retro cap this year. I like it, but I don't know if it does anything for my appearance. If I add some beige rugby pants and a polo shirt from Wal-Mart, I might be able to get a living assistance check from the government.
ReplyDelete@eyebleaf
ReplyDeleteEight days without a cigarette or a Jays win.
We are not having fun.
Priesty, that's the funniest fucking thing I've read in a while. Thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteThe Shitacular Bed Shitting tag should be up there in the list somewhere between the "Richard Griffen" and the "Shannon Stewart" tags.
ReplyDeleteHoly shit, they really picked the wrong time for a fucking losing streak.
ReplyDeleteTonight, before I lay myself to sleep, I'm going to pray The Cito changes something, ANYTHING, up for tomorrow. Enough's enough.
And, I've got to agree with The Ack, Darren's comment resulted in some serious chuckles. Much needed after one bullshit afternoon.
My Firefox crashes every time I head over to the DJF site. Anyone else having a similar issue?
ReplyDelete@Priest
As if your wardrobe isn't filled rugby pants. (Or as they call them out there: "dress pants".)
You need something proper to get past the clubs' dress codes, no?
(We kid, because we love.)
DJF crashed on Firefox for me, too.
ReplyDeleteNot that this is groundbreaking news or anything but, Christ, the DJF comments' section has become borderline retarded. Literally.
ReplyDeleteHalf the comments are people calling Stoeten fat, and Doug letting the greater DJF-community know he farted.
Don't miss Gibby, and don't want to run Cito out of town.
ReplyDeleteBut his intransigence about the lineups is hard to take at the best of times, and infuriating at the worst.
Lols all around. Keep making the game threads, Tao, this crowd is more fun to post with than the DJF madness.
ReplyDeletei like the Tao's game threats. i don't feel like i need a shower after reading them, unlike the DJF threats
ReplyDeleteand i figured you needed at least one anonymous comment
ReplyDeleteDid anyone else think that Guthrie threw fastballs that missed belt high and inner third of the plate in consecutive at-bats by Rios and Wells that they would normally have hammered? I mean, if you're looking for a pitch to pull, that's a better choice than a slider away. Kinda like that fastball in the middle of the zone on a 3-1 count to Lind yesterday that he fouled off after a fastball in the middle of the zone on the 3-0 count.
ReplyDeleteCan't believe I missed this.... ten times better THAN DJF's immature BS. Whatta cool vibe here.
ReplyDelete@ DP good call on this blog, mate.
Wow - sounds like we all need shot of Bacardi 151. The sting from the 75 proof alcohol makes you forget about the sting of a 7-game losing streak.
ReplyDeleteWe're about to toss back a shot of Knob Creek Bourbon to drown our sorrows. Or as we call it, "Sucking back on a Knob".
ReplyDelete(Wait a second. That sounds terrible. Must stop saying it in public.)
As for this game thread/threat versus the DJF's: If we did this every day, it wouldn't take long for the arseholes to find their way here.
I don't know if I agree, Tao. DJFs kind of set the table for the garbage in their comments section.
ReplyDelete@Tao & DP , this attracts a different more civilized demo here. People who actually know baseball! Yeah, there is a sense of irony and sarcasm here BUT the underlying theme is smart criticism. DJF is all about Stoeten being a dick, Parkes being the punching bag and Bergkamp along for the ride and just who is Chairman Mao, anywho?
ReplyDeleteThe assholes in the NYC area are all spitting on the Jays as the Yanks passed them. So sad actually only because the big Kahunaon sports talk radio down here keeps on spitting out how great the Red Pox are. WE get it already you want to marry Tito Francona!Hopefully The Jays will get it together.
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ReplyDelete