Congratulations Stairsy!

Sure, Matt Stairs' role in this World Series was essentially to make sure that Geoff Jenkins' ass pocket was tucked in at all times. Nevertheless, it warms the soul to see the pride of Tay Creek N.B. letting his freak flag fly, and getting his ring.

He's Matt Stairs: World Champion. Fuck yeah.

Also soul-warming - Shitske edition
Watching Eric Hinske - tubby disappointment that he is - wave weakly at a Brad Lidge off speed pitch to end the game, series and season. We're sure that he'll get over it after a getting his tip frosted and eating a 10 pound wheel of Wisconsin cheddar in one sitting.

The Tao's Wandering Eye: Mike Jacobs

Since it came up in yesterday's comments (dig through the prolonged discussions on mulleted soft-rockers and you'll find it), we figured that we'd share what we think of Marlins 1B Mike Jacobs, who may be available to a team looking for a power bat.

We actually like Jacobs, and think of him as a discount version of Adam Dunn: he'll hit homers (32 last year) and drive in a good-not-great number of runs (93) in part because he strikes out to damn much (119 times last year in 447 ABs, versus 39 walks).

One particularly important stat to look at with Jacobs is how much better he hits on the road than at home in spacious Pro Player Dolphin Loria Stadium. Last year, Jacobs posted an OPS almost 120 points higher on the road (.872 versus .758), and a look at his stats over the years at least suggests that there are a number of Miami doubles that may turn into home runs in other barns.

Jacobs isn't an elite player, but 32 homers in the current power climate is nothing to shrug at. If the Marlins are looking to get rid of Jacobs before they have to pay him, then there is a great opportunity for the Jays to get themselves an upgrade at DH without paying through the nose for it.

On the other hand, why get hamburger when you can get a huge slab of meat?
MLB Trade Rumo(u)rs' Tim Dierkes speculates that the Jays could be in the running to pry Prince Fielder away from the Brewers if he hits the market.

Be the first to buy your custom Bradley and Cabrera Jerseys
Bleacher Report released its MLB Free Agent Rankings and Predictions this week. Their signing predictions figure the Jays will dish out generous but somewhat reasonable contracts to DH Milton Bradley (two years, $30 million) and SS Orlando Cabrerra (three years, $25 million). We'd be a bit surprised if the Jays have that kind of coin to toss around, and we think that in spite of their tepid offense last year, a starting pitcher still has to be a priority in a post-A.J. world.

Oh Jamie Campbell...You are such a nerd

Please tell us that we completely misheard you, and that you didn't just drop a Kenny Loggins lyric to start off the World Series pre-game show.

Because if you really did, then that's way beyond sad.

What...you couldn't think of any inspirational Huey Lewis lyrics off the top of your head? Didn't have the time to rattle off a full throated version of Starship's "We Built This City"?

Isn't it a little bit of a bummer that we're going to have to brave our way through another bone-chilling Canadian winter to get to the next season, and our great reward for making our way through it is to have six months of Jamie Campbell prattling on about sweet shite-all.

Possibly the worst (and best) writing on the Blue Jays, all in one fell swoop
We're not sure who Aaron Miller is, or why somebody at CityNews.ca decided to transcribe his crayon scribblings and post them on their website.

Miller's article is so dumbfoundingly empty-headed and ridiculously pointless that reading it left us with a nausea that we haven't felt since we were 12 and went a little crazy with the speed on the teacups ride at the county fair with a belly full of cotton candy and corndogs.

Thank goodness, there's Neate at Out of Left Field to give him the Fire Joe Morgan treatment. It's a worthy hommage to the great Ken Tremendous, and worth the read.

Weekend primer: Blue Jay linkage

...and by "primer", I mean this might be all you get from me this weekend. Yeah, you all owe me one.

On to business, I was pleasantly surprised as I surfed through my usual hotspots for all things Blue Jay....some pretty entertaining links. So, rather than present any original thought whatsoever (probably for the best), here's some fantastic reading material to get you through the excruciating pain of a World Series involving yooouuuuurrrr Tampa Bay Rays!

Jamie Campbell - too much information

Our man JC checks in with a blog post of his own over on the home station. Now, I like to give Campbell a hard time like anyone else, but this blog post presents him in a COMPLETELY different light.

I strongly recommend reading the whole post, but if this doesn't grab you:

"The place was packed and I, admittedly, had a terrific beer-buzz. The floor seemed to rise when Dave Winfield hit the go-ahead double and exploded when the final out was made in the bottom of the 11th. I was so excited, I started making out with a female co-worker.Later, after hundreds of people spilled into the streets of Halifax, I tried to help a mob flip a taxi with the driver still in the car, two hands firmly gripping the wheel. "

...then nothing will. Now I'm left to wonder what a night on the town with Jamie and Rance would consist of. Whoah Nelly!

As an aside, JC makes an excellent point. The "Touch 'em all, Joe!" blast, as remarkable as it was, doesn't compare to the first one in '92. Is it just me, or has that season been completely overlooked in Jays history?

Jeff Blair continues to be Bad Ass

Full disclosure, there's not really much for Blue Jays news within this link to Blair's blog, but the next time any of you commenters disparage my hometown, I'll kindly direct you towards Toronto's (via Winnipeg) finest sportswriter.

You think he's messing around?

Cathal Kelly: Friends with (J)P

Big pat on the back for the underrated Cathal Kelly, for telling the World Series to fuck off and instead focusing on stirring the offseason pot.

Within this article, Kelly gives us JP's take on a plethora of potential winter storylines out of Jays camp, including:

JP on Manny:
"I've known him since he was 15, and I've liked him since he was 15. I also like a lot of other players that we're probably not going to get. As far as the talent goes, he's a very talented player. Who knows where it goes from there?" Ricciardi said.

JP on AJ negotiations:
"They're not going bad, they're not going good. They're fine," Ricciardi said of his conversations with Burnett's agent.

JP on BJ:
"It's not a priority for us right now, trading B.J. Ryan," Ricciardi said.

JP on the offseason in general:
"Anybody on our club that would help us get better, if it meant trading them, we'd be open to it," Ricciardi said yesterday from his home in Massachusetts.

.....so, to summarize: negotiations with Burnett are non-existent, JP desperately wants Manny but needs to convince the Beest to convince Ted Rogers, BJ Ryan is on the trading block, and so is Roy Halladay.

I kid, I kid!

Hey! It's the Fall Leagues!

Sure, we could focus on the Fall Classic, but seeing as how we've already established that every victory or success for the Rays is like a dagger in our heart, we figured we'd divert our attention to the developmental Fall Leagues for a bit of solace.

Say "hi" to Thomas Magnum if you see him
While many of the higher-level prospects are congregating under the Arizona sun to play before a crowd of mid-western retirees, Jays prospect Bradley Emaus (picture above) got the call to play for the Honolulu Sharks of the Hawaii Winter Baseball League. (We guess that isn't a Fall League per se...) Major League Bastian has the write up on the 22 year-old infielder who played with Single-A Dunedin last year. Bastian also catches up with some of the other Jays in the Fall Leagues.

Emaus is currently hitting .342 (with a .960 OPS) in 13 games so far this year with a double, a triple and a homer to go with his 9 RsBI.

A cool thing about the Hawaii League: it combines North American minor leaguers with players from Japan and Korea. In fact, a quick look at the league's Japanese alumni shows just how many current MLBers made a name for themselves in this circuit. Ichiro, Tadahito Iguchi, Kaz Matsui, and So Taguchi all suited up at one point or another.

And how can you not love a league with a team named the Waikiki Beach Boys.

The other J.P. puts on a show for the high-waisted shuffleboard sharks
Once again, the tireless Major League Bastian reports that after a slow start, the Jays' other great minor league hope J.P. Arencibia has started to hit for the Pheonix Desert Dogs. Over a six game hitting streak this past week, the other J.P. has a homer and eight driven in.

Another relevant prospect in Phoenix is Scott Campbell, who is getting on base at a .500 clip through 10 games thus far. Perhaps more interesting is the fact that New Zealand's finest baseball product has been playing some games at third base. Does this mean that the Jays may be looking at him to replace Scott Rolen in 2010?

A (somewhat fictionalized) transcript of Bob McCown's recent discussion on the Jays' president and CEO position

McCown: Grumble grumble grumble grumble Stan Kasten grumble Stan Kasten grumble grumble grumble Stan Kasten? Stan Kasten blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Stan Kasten! Grumble grumble grumble blah blah blah Stan Kasten, Stan Kasten grumble grumble grumble grumble grumble grumble blah blah blah Stan Kasten; Stan Kasten Stan Kasten Stan Kasten; Stan Kasten Stan Kasten Stan Kasten Stan Kasten, my friend Stan Kasten.

Jim Kelley: Ahrbshholuuuutely, Bob!

McCown: Stan Kasten Stan Kasten Stan Kasten Stan Kasten? Stan Kasten Stan Kasten Stan Kasten Stan Kasten! Stan Kasten Stan Kasten Stan Kasten Stan Kasten Stan Kasten Stan Kasten Stan Kasten Stan Kasten, flying faddoo Stan Kasten Stan Kasten Stan Kasten Stan Kasten.

Jim Kelley: You know in Burffalloo whhhere III aaam frrom...

McCown: STAN KASTEN!

Jim Kelley: AAArgh...I haahte paaaaying taxes in Caaanadaaa.

McCown: STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN!

Stephen Brunt: Fuck it. I'm taking the rest of the year off. If you need me, I'll be smoking fish in western Newfoundland.

McCown: STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN! STAN KASTEN!

We've got the funk...

...and sadly, it's not in any way a good, Clintonian funk.

It is more of an autumnal funk borne of three weeks of solid misery. The economy is in the shitter. The federal election robbed us of our will to engage politically. The days are getting shorter. The nights are getting colder. We're getting older. Responsibilities are piled on while the few remaining hopes and dreams of our youth fall like the rusted foliage.

And all the while, as we turn to our second great love in life for solace and comfort, we watch the Tampa Bay Rays and think to ourselves: They're just going to get better, aren't they? And the Jays are going to be a little bit worse. If not a lot worse.

Watching the Rays young rotation, which will only become deeper with the addition of David Price next year, we're left with a gnawing feeling that Roy Halladay and the rag-tag band of brigands that the Jays run out to the mound next season are going to have their work cut out for them.

And to make matters worse, the Yankees and Red Sox are sure to retool and rebuild following years that fell short of expectations.

Then there's the whole matter of the 82 cent dollar, which will dig into any potential payroll increases that may have been forthcoming.

It's a shite state of affairs, and six Paul Beestons wouldn't make any difference at this point.

The Tao's Wandering Eye: Hank Blalock

Editor's note: This is the first of a new series of posts, to be known as The Tao's Wandering Eye. The purpose of this series - which we'll probably abandon after one attempt, like we did with guitar lessons or yoga - is to highlight the players that we inexplicably have taken a shine to, and that may be available through trade or free agency in the coming off season. Our goal is to make an argument for their acquisition without sounding like an idiot sports talk radio caller, or worse, a sports talk radio HOST.

Also, we're aiming to find something to talk about other than the playoffs, which have started to depress us.

Let us begin.

There's probably no better place to start our make-believe off-season shopping then with Hank Blalock, if only because the case for the Jays acquiring him so marginal that we're sure to irrevocably damage whatever reputation we might have left in these parts.

And yet, if you're looking for a possible low-risk, high reward acquisition to help keep the Jays in the game in the depressingly competitive AL East, Blalock as a corner infielder and DH may just be the ticket.

It's been a while since Blalock was a real up-and-comer, with the memories of his two All-Star Game appearances in 2003 and 2004 fading. In his best season, Blalock swatted 32 homers and drove in 110 RsBI runs in 2004, rating even some marginal MVP votes.

In 2005 and 2006, Blalock's offense declined, and while we would never make this connection, some remarked on the fact that this one-time weightlifting fiend suddenly saw his power numbers fall off the table. More eyebrows may be raised by the fact that over the last two years, our boy Hank has missed about two-thirds of the Rangers' games due to one ailment or another. Blalock has not yet turned 28, and one wonders why he is physically breaking down at such an early age.

And yet...when the boy is healthy and when he plays, Hank Blalock has put up some fine numbers over the past two seasons. Those numbers which stand out all the more when compared against Toronto's options on either corner of the infield going into next season.

In the last month of 2008, Blalock was absolutely on fire, with 10 doubles, 8 homers, 23 RsBI and an OPS of 1.080. Blalock also spent that time at across the diamond at first base, where he made just a single error. SI.com's Jon Heyman reported last week that one scout called Blalock the "best hitter I saw in the second half."

It looks at present as though the Rangers will pick up Blalock's fairly reasonable $6.2 million option for next year, although the right bullpen arm (or arms) may shake him loose.

We get that everybody loves Rolen and Overbay...it's just that when we think about the chances of either of them hitting 25 homers or driving in 90, we figure that it is a lot less likely than Blalock's chances of doing the same.

Is this what they mean by good in the lockerroom?

You may not like it, but you have to respect it

"Gas is up and so am I."

If that little nugget is representative of "Manny being Manny", then fill 'er up, please. You have to love the fact that Manny isn't hiding behind some false facade, like wanting to play where he "feels like a part of the family" (for example), which is admirable, if not completely fucking bogus (pardon my cynicism). No, Manny is pretty clear in where his priorities lie - here's the full quote:

"I just want to go home [to Florida] and spend some time with my family," Ramirez says, while adding with a grin, "I want to see who is the highest bidder. Gas is up and so am I."

Oh, and the next part of the story?

The Yankees, Blue Jays and Mets are amongst the teams believed to be interested in Ramirez.

Now look, nobody is saying that the pockets in Teddy Rogers' baseball pants (or trousers....I bet Ted wears trousers...) are as deep as those belonging to Freddy Wilpon or the Steinbrenner halfwits, but there's no reason they can't be. Mix in some understated hinting at the Beest's presser that Rogers might be talked into raising payroll, if even ever so slightly, and bingo bango bongo - we have the start of an interesting offseason.

Hell, the way things are shaping up, December might prove to be more exciting than the Jays' September march to the pLAYOFFS!

And yes, I realize how sad that is. Just let me have my fun.

Paul Beeston is the Temp

The Toronto Star reports that the Jays are about to announce that Paul Beeston is the interim President and CEO of the Jays. (And a hearty glove tap and ass-hammering goes to Sports in the City's Navin/eyebleaf for the heads up.)

Indulge us with a moment of your time to speculate on what all this means.

The Jays are undertaking an employment strategy for the Level of Excellence: After hiring Cito and Beeston, we fully anticipate that the Jays will hire Robbie Alomar as the team's liaison to the Renaissance Hotel, Tony Fernandez as the spiritual counselor, and George Bell to run the Junior Jays' Kiss My Purple Butt Booth.

The Leafs are the model franchise: Isn't it more than a little weird how Toronto sports franchises keep plucking people of their history to keep themselves afloat? What's next? Isaiah Thomas and Damon Stoudamire returning to help lead the Raps to the old glory days?

J.P. is on notice: With Beeston on board for the short term, the Jays will likely get through 2009 with Ricciardi at the helm. But come next year, we're guessing that a new boss at the helm will likely bring in his own dude to run the on-field personnel aspects of the franchise. (Supposing, of course, that the new boss is a baseball guy, and not a marketing guy.)

Bob McCown was wrong: If we had a dollar for every time the Bobcat has stated on Prime Time Sports over the past few months that "Beeston ain't comin' back", then we could buy the Fan 590 away from Rogers and turn it into a 24-hour-all-Wilco-all-the-time-50,000-watt-superstation. Alas, no one is coughing up that cheese for us.

We're also guessing that Bobcat doesn't own up to being wrong, and says something like: "I told you that he wouldn't take the job, and since he's only the interim President, I was right. Again. All praise and glory is mine. Claude Thamalfachuk. Flying Fadoo. "

A one-sentence post on...Matt Stairs

While it might have been nice to see Matt Stairs pull off postseason heroics in a Blue Jays uniform, we're pleased as punch to see the portly huggybear get his moment in the spotlight after typically swinging from his ample ass and connecting for a mammoth two-run, go-ahead shot to lift the Phillies over the Dodgers last night.

Gibby's off the dole

It didn't take long for John Gibbons to get back on his feet again. MLB.com reports that Gibby's been tapped to be the bench coach next year for the Kansas City Royals.

And we say: good for him and good for them. The Royals have an interesting core of young talent, and we think that Gibbons will do well as a sounding board for Royals skipper Trey Hillman. Or if nothing else, it will give Gibbons a place where he can wear a windbreaker, slump on a bench, and spit tobacco juice all summer long. (And we're sure that Missus Gibbons is grateful that he'll have someplace other than their backyard to indulge in this behaviour.)

The Future Depends on Chad
Since we're talking coaching staffs (for lack of anything else Jays-related to talk about) let's discuss the Jays' roving minor league hitting instructor.

The Canadian Press is cutting and pasting from a Jays news release reporting that the Jays have signed former prospect Chad Mottola to serve in that role for the coming season. He takes the spot vacated by miracle worker Dwayne Murphy, who set the Jays back on the right track after being summoned by El Cito to clean up the mess made by Gary Denbo.

Mottola strikes us as an ideal hire in this position. A one-time first-round selection of the Cincinnati Reds, Mottola was a quadruple-A player who was always a good performer in the minors, but who never quite had the tools to play in the big leagues. Mottola was the 2000 International League MVP with Syracuse, and has a couple of cups of coffee with the Blue Jays, including 16 ABs in 2006.

Two Playoff Thoughts, For Whatever They Are Worth

Thought #1: So that Rafael Furcal is some good offensively, huh?
Thought #2: So that Rafael Furcal is kinda awful defensively, huh?

Thanksgiving turkey

I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but I talked myself into it. Saying all the right things and riding a feelgood wave of support as the season ended, AJ Burnett had me believing that he wasn't ready to end his budding bromance and say goodbye to our Toronto Blue Jays.

But now the love-in is over, and safely away from Doc's powers and the hometown crowd, we're seeing the true intentions of Huggy Bear, and it probably doesn't involve a future in Toronto.

Darek Braunecker, AJ's true BFF, informs us that with regards to discussing an extension with the Jays, "he isn't going to waste their time with that" until AJ decides if he is going to exercise the opt-out (100% probability) or not (0% probability).

So, in other words, get in line JP. Yeah - that line right there. That's right, that one - Brian Cashman's there in front, and Theo's saving a spot (he'll be there when the playoffs are over) - no cutting.

Well, maybe we still have a shot, you say? Didn't JP prep an opening offer of a 2 year-$30M extension? Consider these quotes from Ricciardi:

"Our money's not going to change," he said. "We're only going to have so much money that we feel that we can go forward with. If it's not enough, it's not enough."

- and -

"If it gets to a point where he opts out, we're still in the running but I think at that point we're going to have to start going forward with putting our team together," said Ricciardi. "We can't sit there and just wait and say, 'Hey, we're waiting on one guy.' We'd probably have to have a little more of a definitive answer at that point."

JP's propensity for "truth"-telling notwithstanding, I believe him when he says the Jays only shot to retain Burnett is by locking him up before he exercises the opt-out, and if (when) he does exercise the clause, Toronto won't be joining the bidding war. In other words...if AJ exercises the opt-out (he will), it's o-v-e-r. That's not to say I blame the guy, though. Let's face it, the Jays reported offer would give Burnett 4 years and $54 million, whereas exercising the opt-out will probably net him a $75 million deal. Like you'd do any different?

By the same token, I think JP's playing this one the way it needs to be played also. An additional 2 years - $30M is at least a reasonable offer - at the very least, a save-face offer - and I can probably think of a better way to spend the $75M or so it'll take. I mean, for a measly $25M more, we could have Manny! (That's right, I'm talking myself into that one too - gotta love the offseason...)

Housekeeping

The Tao has extended my term through the offseason (tough break for you, suckers), so I'll probably be around with a post per weekend, probably more as the winter meetings approach and the rumour mill heats up. I know, I know - you'll sleep easier now. I do what I can.

Is J.P. about to lose his paisan?

Not to play into a stereotype fed by eight years of the Sopranos, but don't J.P. and Assistant GM Tony LaCava look like they're about to cause some somebody some trouble? All due respect...

The news from Bobby McLeod says that LaCava is being interviewed for the Seattle Mariners GM job, along with four other candidates. This is the second time in as many years that LaCava gets an interview, after being considered for the helm of his hometown Pittsburgh Pirates last year.

We've made barely veiled comments in these parts that the Jays might have a ready-made replacement for J.P. if the organization decides to tie the can to him. Not that we want to begrudge Tony any success, but we'd feel better if he were around to pick up the pieces and maintain some continuity should the Rogers brass decide to sacrifice Ricciardi as an appeasement to the unwashed stupid masses.

O! The wonders of a best-of-five series

What will 100 regular season wins get you in the postseason?

SFA.

And if you are the 2008 Anaheim-ish Angels, it sure as hell won't get you a matchup against the weakest of the playoff entrants. Instead, because of a stupid rule that states that the Wild Card team can't play a team in their own division in the LDS, the Angels got the 95-win Red Sox in the first round, while the Rays had the luxury of facing the 88-win White Sox.

Where's the justice in that? Why can't MLB just seed the playoff teams comme du monde?

Three quick losses and that's that for the Angels. For as quick as the series came and went, they might just as well play three games of rock-paper-scissors to determine the winner.

....aaaand Wrigley goes dark

There's no way I could post about this without coming across as a massive sarcastic dick to Cubs fan(s)....but seriously - that has to hurt. Swept out of the playoffs by the Manny-led buzzsaw Dodgers, and the drought continues. You shoulda' shaved the goat off, Reeder.

Speaking of which - Dodgers/Red Sox World Series.....that would be fun, wouldn't it? Unless the Sox ultimately prevailed, of course. I don't need that kind of fun in my life.

What I'll remember about the 2008 season, Volume I: Mencherson

May 9, 2008. Who could forget the day. The day the Toronto Blue Jays, in an attempt to spark a waning offense, pulled off not one, but two transactions to ultimately deliver us one mythical outfielder.

May 9, 2008, will forever be known in Blue Jays history as the day Mencherson was born.

We may have had our rough times, Brevin, but we go through them with everyone - right Vernon? You hear what I'm saying, Alex? Tell the man, AJ. No no no, not you Doc - you're exempt. But don't shortchange yourself, Brev - we shared some good times all the same.

Remember the walkoff single where you managed to score yourself (see photo above, where you are punching yourself in the face)? Remember scraping balls off the outfield wall and selling it to the hapless ump for an out? Remember the numerous (and flawless, I might add) pinch-running appearances? Remember removing the burden of facing crafty ol' Timmy Wakefield from Sniderman and Young Adam Lind? Those were all you, guy. Those were all you.

Brevin Mencherson - just one of the things I'll remember about the 2008 season.

We know why the Cubs are about to be swept

It's because Manny is more awesome than awesome, and Reed Johnson is just a guy.

You can't argue with that logic.

A one-sentence post on...PLAYOFFS!

As a baseball fan, we're excited that the playoffs have begun, but as a Blue Jays fan, we're depressed by the fact that we'll be watching them as an impartial observer once again while listening to the incessant gloating coming from our good friend, a lifelong Red Sox fan.

Throwing our hat in the ring - The Tao for President

So we hear that everybody and their pet marmot is a candidate for the Jays' President and CEO job, even though the Jays have probably made their choice, and just haven't announced it.

Or so says the Globe's Robert MacLeod, a truly unassailable baseball source. (Viva Marco Scutaro por jugador más valioso! Quien es mas macho? Marco es mas macho!)

Nevertheless, we'd like to take this opportunity to submit our name as a candidate for the President and CEO of the Toronto Blue Jays baseball club.

We firmly believe that our education, experience and demonstrated skill sets would be an asset to the Blue Jays, and to Rogers Communications. (Or is that Rogers Media? We could never keep them straight.)

Seriously: look around at the jokers that they're discussing. Gord Ash? Tom Anselmi? David Peterson? Please. We'd eat those dudes for breakfast, seal up the leftovers, reheat them for lunch and blog about the entire process before dinner.

We ask you, faithful ToS readers: who do you want overseeing the day-to-day operations of the Blue Jays? Some bean counter with an MBA and his name stitched into his drawers by his momma, or do you want the man who will shake an extra $30 million in payroll out of ownership, ditch the black uniforms, and rehire Jill Clark as the in-game hostess?

Do you want some guy who has washed out in some other organization? Some ex-politician who got his ass handed to him when he least expected it and urged Belinda Stronach into politics? Some current politician who somehow has less charisma than Dalton McGuinty?

And as a side note to the Rogers execs: Do you know Keith Pelley? Do you know that he doesn't even like baseball? That he doesn't have a passion for the game?

But seriously, we don't want to go negative on this. We just want to say to Ted Rogers and to Tony Viner and to whoever else is making this decision: you've got more than 700 blogposts here to parse through, but we betcha it only takes you a half-hour before you recognize that we are your man. We have spent much the past two years focussing inordinate amounts of our time and energy agonizing over the right path for the Blue Jays (free of charge!), and if given the opportunity, we have the means to return this team to the promised land.

Well, actually, you have the means...but we've got the strategy to make it happen. (Or was that a tactic? We always get those confused. But that shouldn't preclude anyone from being President, should it?)

In summation, Messers Rogers and Viner, let us assure you that we respect the process that you've undertaken, and that if you have any good sense between the two of you, you'll hire us to run your baseball franchise.

Surely, we couldn't be any worse than the last guy.