Tuesday Morning Briefs

Don't panic. All is well: A.J. Burnett's fingernail remains an issue. B.J. Ryan is sore in a way he never knew it was possible to be sore. But seriously, just relax. It's all going to be fine.

It doesn't matter how many shades of lipstick you try out on that pig: There are currently three versions of the exact same Sporting News article by Gerry Fraley currently floating around the series of tubes. Only the headlines have changed. One calls the Jays "Consistent", one calls them "Persistent", and one calls them "Obsessive". All of them are kinda lame.

Speaking of lame: The Jays had that nice green St. Pat's Day jersey that we mentioned yesterday, but didn't wear it. Instead, they deferred to the Pittsburgh Pirates, who wore their regular fake game jerseys and lame adjustable green caps that they apparently picked up at a Chevron station on the way to the park.

The Jays collect minor league lefties like our grandma collects Franklin Mint Elvis plates: Welcome, Bill Murphy. We loved you in Stripes.

When Blairsy's happy, we're happy: In spite of the smell of buring oranges, locked bathrooms, crashing internets and crapped out Blackberries, Jeff Blair still looked on the bright side of life yesterday when looking ahead to Brett Cecil's inning of work to come on Thursday versus Yankees.

Do you have something to share with the rest of us, Jay Stenhouse? Mike Wilner, who's got a spiffier Fan 590 site on which to post his always salient thoughts, mentions that the Jays' VP of Comms was asking reporters if they were going to be around today on the Jays' off day. Wilner speculated that maybe there would be an announcement of some consequence (Extensions for Rios or Hill?), but knowing communications types like we do, our suspicion is that Stenhouse was just gauging how messed he could get on green beer. (But if there is anything to announce, Jay, feel free to pass it along.)