If the Doodlebops are the answer...what was the question?

Scary, fluorescent, pseudomusical humanoids the Doodlebops will perform live outside of the Rogers Centre before the Jays May 12 meeting with the Devil Rays.

We get that at some point, you need to sell a bit of the sizzle in order to attract the Scarberian moms and their demon-spawn to the ballpark. But with the Jays mired in a lousy stretch, we can't think of anything more depressing than this spectacle.

Actually, we can. It's having gas can Josh Towers pimp the event in the presser:

"My son can't get enough of the Doodlebops," said Jays pitcher Josh Towers. "The fact that they are both entertaining and family-friendly means I don't have to worry when Ryan wants to watch them."

Cripes.