There's no need to worry about Doc

It was funny to hear the first two callers on JaysTalk last night complaining and worrying about the team's fortunes after they'd just finished cleaning the turf with the Tigers in a 12-5 win. As Wilner quite rightly pointed out, people should probably tone down the negativity on a night when the Jays opened up the season on exactly the right note.

Some of the concern voiced was over Roy Halladay's seventh inning, where the Tigers put up four runs after Doc had been pretty much masterful all night. From what we saw, Halladay had a bit of trouble with his location while pitching from the stretch, but that's to be expected to a certain degree.

Halladay, because of his unspeakable awesomeness, had pitched almost entirely from the windup all night to that point. Pitching from the stretch late in the first real game of the year, Doc threw two pitches to Guillen and Inge that were up and over the plate, and they got tagged. But seriously, let's not lose our shit about this.

The Amazing Sniderman
Can we all agree that Travis Snider is the best number nine hitter in the game? People like Jeff Blair talk about Snider squaring up on the ball, and last night provided two picture perfect examples of what happens when he does so. Though we got to see him last year, we are impressed all anew with how economical Snider's swing is, how quickly he gets his bat through the hitting zone and how well balanced he looks when he swings.

Snider isn't a swing-from-his-ass power hitter in the Matt Stairs mould, and that augurs well for his ability to remain consistent at the plate. We get the impression that Snider will be the sort of hitter who will hit good pitches, as opposed to gripping and ripping at mistakes.

A Stern Word for Douchebag Fans
As Papa Tao used to say to us when he was starting a talk like this: "We've got a bone to pick with you."

There's nothing wrong with enthusiasm, and there's nothing wrong with having a bit of drunken debaucherous superfan fun at the game. But there is one - AND ONLY ONE - legitimate reason to throw something on the field at a baseball game, and there is only one reason to cheer on someone who throws shit on the field at a baseball game.

If the other team hits a home run and you catch or pick up the ball after it has ricocheted off of someone's melon, then - AND ONLY THEN - can you take the home run ball and toss it back on the field of play.

That's it. End of story.

Last night, the wise and sage old manager Jim Leyland took the actions of a few random d-bags and milked it to the hilt, putting the Jays magnificent opening night offensive explosion at risk. All those home runs and rallies you were cheering on? All would have been wiped from the record and the Jays would have had to forfeit the game.

Adam Lind's six ribbies? Toast. Sniderman's double and homer? Gone. Every Jay getting a hit? Forgotten.

And we hope you all realize that Toronto is getting a reputation as a city full of hooligans who can't help themselves from being idiots when they assemble in a large crowd. Big League Stew's Kevin Kaduk sent us a note on Twitter in the midst of the eighth inning madness asking: "What's with you Torontonians and big crowds? Leave Curtis Granderson alone!"

So for the love of god, show some goddamned self respect, pull yourself together and stop throwing your shit on the field on the field during games.

Understood?