Showing posts with label bullshit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullshit. Show all posts

Friday, April 18, 2008

The wit and wisdom of talk radio callers

We'd rather not discuss last night's 4-1 loss to the Rangers, in which the Blue Jays were asleep at the plate and Doc Halladay sacked up and went the distance to preserve the bullpen for the weekend series. (For whatever that moral victory is worth.)

Instead, we'd like to focus on the Jays Talk callers, and specifically, David from Toronto.

The old philosopher Dave, who sounded like Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys and seemed about as lucid. His comment for Wilner after last night's game has to rate amongst the all-time headslappers.

Dave was of the considered opinion that the Jays need "to bring up some rookies to get those guys around." We're presuming that Ranger rookie David Murphy's 3 for 4 night had something to do with this, but when Wilner tried to inject a little sanity into the situation by noting that maybe veterans with experience would do as good if not a better job at "bringing those guys around", Dave made clear that the rookies "want to prove themselves."

Also, Dave assured us that Gibby was an idiot for how he used the bullpen in Wednesday's 14 inning game. "Any good manager's always got plan for a 14 inning game!" Dave informed us. Wilner offered that the Jays might have a couple of those sorts of games per year, our baseball savant wasn't having any of it.

"This is the AL East! Come on!"

It's hard to argue with logic like that.

Friday, February 8, 2008

For Love or Money

We've got to take issue with Jeff Blair's assertion in his latest blog post that "there is no downside" to this ticket selling scheme.

Just so we're clear: we've got nothing against making a buck. We try to do it every day. (Just not by blogging.) And yes, we get the fact that the Blue Jays' decision to sell tickets directly to the fans of the Detroit Tigers and Boston Red Sox is a savvy use of Major League Baseball Advanced Media's databases.

Taken from a distance (the dispassionate distance from which Blair, or Griffin, or Fidlin or Elliot, or Sadler write), we could look at this and say: "Well, bully for them! What a bunch of smart cookies they are! Maximize revenues! Exploit new marketing opportunities!"

But we don't look at the Blue Jays as a business that sells tickets and in-stadium advertising.

If we listened to our dispassionate side, we wouldn't be frantically tapping out post after post, agonizing over John McDonald's role, or Lyle Overbay's hand, or Scott Rolen's headspace, or John Gibbons' lineup chicanery.

Nor would we buy retro powder blues (or fawn over them), or another Jays cap (to go with the five - count 'em, five - Jays caps that we already own). We wouldn't stop everything in our lives to sit and listen to Jamie Campbell prattle on about his baseball card collection, nor would we promise to spend an entire day antiquing with Mrs. Tao if only she'll let us watch this last half inning ("Seriously, Sweetie: just five more minutes!")

We wouldn't put up with hours of abuse from the brother-in-law when he gets dragged kicking and screaming to a Jays game (nor would we pay $50 for his ticket just for the privilege). We wouldn't shell out $5 on consecutive days for the exact same program, just so that we could keep score during the game.

And we wouldn't get this upset about a simple business transaction if we thought of the Blue Jays as a business.

But for us, it's not a business. It's a sacred trust.

Go ahead Blairsy: groan. Roll your eyes. We know that it is pathetically overwrought. We know that it's just a bunch of pampered millionaires hitting a horsehide ball with a wooden bat and catching it with a leather glove.

We know that the billionaire owner (Canada's second richest man, and for very good reason) determines the level of salary extravagance based on the club's ability to bums (any bums) in the seats. We're aware that if attendance had gone down last year or the year before, then maybe Vernon Wells or Alex Rios or Roy Halladay are playing in Arlington, or Miami, or Cincinnati this year.

To all of those with that level of detachment from the team: we sincerely envy you. Because it's not going to eat at you one little bit when the cheers from Red Sox Nation erupt on that opening homestand. It's not going to muddy the gleam of the new season for you at all.

But tell us this: When a member of the Red Sox drives in a run on that weekend, how will the front office quantify the impact of those extra cheering New Englanders on the home team's fans, especially since you went to such lengths to bring them here? It's going to be an awfully bitter pill to swallow, and there's nothing in Quicken Books that's going to help you make that equation.

We've waited all frickin' winter to cheer on our boys. So why did someone have to invite their fans to ruin the party?

Friday, August 3, 2007

Ballhype Bullshit - "Stop Mike Lupica" must be stopped

Ballhype's been getting lots of, well, hype, for their recent survey of sports bloggers. Deadspin was all over it, as were the bacchanalian badasses over at Drunk Jays Fans.

Which brings us to our major gripe about our Ballhype blog ranking.

We check it every day religiously, and on the odd days when we do get bumped up a few spots, we get a bit of a chubby.

But a look at the rankings of Blue Jays bloggers shows the top Jays blog as Stop Mike Lupica (and we refuse to link to them, because that'll just bump them higher!) Now, the joke of this is that these goofs decided that there weren't enough Blue Jays blogs out there, so they would fill the void, co-opting our team for their own twisted sense of magnanimity.

But in truth, they bored of the exercise immediately, and they haven't even posted a single thing about the Jays since April. So why are they still tagged as a Jays blog on Ballhype?

We call on the good folks at Ballhype to strip these guys of their designation as a Jays blog, so that these rankings (which me more to us than you can possibly know) are from here on a fair and accurate representation of the true state of Jays blogs, and so that they are beyond reproach.

Just like the MLB home run record.